First Choice Or A Consolation Prize?

Nov 9, 2015 by Coach Corey Wayne

Woman Jealous Of Loving CoupleIf you date enough different people, eventually you are going to encounter potential lovers who have exes in the background who want them back, or they may already be more emotionally involved with someone else longer, and you won’t be their first choice. If you really want a chance to date them, why it’s always better to not burn your bridge with them and leave the door open in case things don’t work out with the person they initially chose over you.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a female viewer who wonders if telling a potential new lover to get in contact with her if things don’t work out with the woman they initially chose over her somehow lessens her value and makes her a consolation prize. She has had guys she dated in the past choose another woman over her initially, but once things did not work out with the other woman, they contacted her to go out with them again.

She says this did not make her feel special, obviously roughed up her ego and she turned them down. I explain the principle and when you should employ it in your own dating life. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of her email.

Corey,

I have been following your work a lot, and it has made a lot of sense to me, even if I am a woman. It has also changed my self esteem and what I am willing to accept. I have a question about something you keep saying in your videos I don’t understand, and perhaps there are other viewers too who have a hard time with it. Regarding the phrase, “Give me a call if it doesn’t work out with that guy,” (Ninety percent of the people that come to me are trying to get an ex back. When someone is rejected, the best thing you can do, if you want to date that person again, is to tell them to give you a call if they change their mind. Leave the door open.Man betraying his wife Sometimes people come back into your life to facilitate you getting what you want), doesn’t it make you sound like you are the kind of person who can take scraps? (You’re only going to say that if the person is somebody you would really like a chance to date again.) Like you are willing to have something another person would not and basically put yourself, willingly, in second place? (Sometimes that’s just the way it works out. Sometimes they come back, and sometimes they don’t. The point is, you want to enjoy your life and create some great memories. I’ll take the memories any day over my pride.) If somebody is willing to choose you, because it has not worked out with someone else, aren’t you making yourself look less valuable? (Well, they’re the one reaching out to you. The only way you would look less valuable is if you kept running after them after they chose someone else over you.) Like somebody who cannot have butter, but will be okay with margarine for now? There have been situations in my life where guys called me once their other relationships had not worked out, and I have found myself not wanting to be with that person, because I did not feel special enough for them. I felt like the consolation prize. (That’s okay. You can say you aren’t interested. I’m just saying from a negotiation perspective, if you really want to date someone and they disappear, you can leave the door open if you really value them and would like another shot at a relationship. It’s never a good thing to burn your bridges.)

Jessica

Get the Book “How To Be A 3% Man”

How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | FREE**
How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | $19.95
How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | $19.95
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
How to Be a 3% Man
Kindle eBook | $9.99
How to Be a 3% Man
iBooks eBook | $9.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Lulu eBook | $9.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Get the Book “Mastering Yourself”

Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | FREE**
Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | $24.95
Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | $24.95
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
Mastering Yourself
Kindle eBook | $9.99
Mastering Yourself
iBooks eBook | $9.99
Mastering Yourself
Lulu eBook | $9.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Coach Corey Wayne Merchandise

T-Shirts & Mugs

If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com

If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:

  1. Make a donation to my work by clicking here to donate via PayPal anytime you feel I have added significant value to your life. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck... $2... $3... $5... $10... $20... what ever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, videos, emails, newsletters, etc.
  2. Referring your friends and family to this website so they can start learning and improving their dating and relationship life, happiness, balance and overall success in every area of their lives too!
  3. Purchase a phone/Skype (audio only) coaching session for yourself or a friend by clicking here. Download the Amazon.com Kindle version of my book to your Kindle, Smartphone, Mac or PC for only $9.99 by clicking here. Get the iBook version for $9.99 from the iBookstore by clicking here. Get the Audio Book for FREE $0.00 with an Audible.com membership by clicking here or buy it for $19.95 at Amazon.com by clicking here. Get the iTunes Audio Book for $19.95 by clicking here. That way, you'll always have it with you to reference when you need it most. Thank you for reading this message!

From my heart to yours,

Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur

“Timing is everything in life. Relationships do not always start out perfect, sometimes the situations are messy or complicated, and sometimes life does not bring you what you want, but it always brings you what you need to become all that you are capable of being. You may want someone or something with all of your heart, but it’s just not possible at the present moment. When this happens, all you can really do is to keep moving towards your grandest goals and dreams, practice infinite patience, not get attached to what presently is not possible and trust that eventually, somehow and someway, the universe will bring you the perfect people and circumstances when the timing is just right. It’s only when you are older and can look back upon your life that you can connect the dots and see the divine perfection of how eventually, you got what you wanted, and it was even better than you expected.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Click Anywhere on Today's Instagram Image Below & You'll Be Taken To My Instagram Page. When you get to my Instagram page, click the "Follow" Button so you can follow me on Instagram. I upload several new Instagram photos per week.

Published on November 9, 2015

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Great video and perspective Coach Corey!

    I always believe in not burning bridges but it depends on how the situation is handled by BOTH parties. Door always being open does not necessarily mean that you let everyone enter through it.

    I would say I’ve had women who didn’t make me their first choice, which is something I’m okay with. However if it was handled with deceit and them not being real about their choices, in that they undermine my relationship with them – then it says to me, you’re not worth my while even if you are single. I guess if one is so compelled to “missing out” then they go ahead, but only if you really are special and remain respectful then we can resume.

    Same applies in business – I have clients who come back because they were respectful, for I am always courteous with them. I have also had clients who have wanted to do business with me again, but because I terminated them due to them not being trustworthy and open in communication – couldn’t bring myself to doing business with them again. You did say though (paraphrase) – don’t step on people on your way up for you will have to meet them again.

    It’s important for people to remain gracious and not entitled to anything, despite the outcome.

    Thanks again for this one.

Leave A Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

SUGGESTED ARTICLES

PHONE COACHING, EMAIL COACHING & PRODUCTS

1 Hour Phone/Skype Coaching Session

with Coach Corey Wayne
coachingcta-phone-300x200
This is for a one (1) hour phone/Skype (audio only) coaching session with Life & Peak Performance Coach Corey Wayne.

Emergency Email Response Coaching

with Coach Corey Wayne

DISCONTINUED

This is for one (1) emergency email response from Life & Peak Performance Coach Corey Wayne to one (1) email of yours.

Self-Help Products, Books, Supplements, Etc.

Highly Recommended
coachingcta-amazon-300x200
Click the button above to visit my Amazon.com list of recommended self-help products such as books, supplements, appliances, tools, etc.

Self-Help Products, Books, Supplements, Etc.

Recommended by Coach Corey Wayne
coachingcta-amazon-landscape
Click the button above to visit my Amazon.com list of recommended self-help products such as books, supplements, appliances, tools, etc.
How To Support My Work
This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.
DONATE VIA PAYPAL
Just click the "Donate" button above to enter your donation/gratuity. Thanks in advance for your support! From my heart to yours, Corey Wayne.
Share Page on Social Media:
How To Support My Work
This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.
DONATE VIA PAYPAL
Just click the "Donate" button above to enter your donation/gratuity. Thanks in advance for your support! From my heart to yours, Corey Wayne.
Share Page on Social Media:
FOLLOW
DONATE
PRODUCTS
SHARE
top