Focus On The Process

Why you should focus on the process of taking action and implementing your life and career success strategy to stay focused when things aren’t going well and success seems far off, if not impossible to achieve.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss the power of focus and moving towards the things you want in life when there is little to no evidence that what you are doing is going to eventually bring you the results and success you want in life. How to get through difficult times when you don’t feel motivated and life often seems hopeless.

What we’re going to talk about today is the process of being successful, going from where you are right now to where you want to be in life. The harsh reality of success and accomplishing your grandest goals and dreams is that it’s going to take way longer than you expect it to. And it’s going to cost a lot more money to accomplish things that you want.

Day in and day out, every day when you get up, no matter whether you’re trying to improve your personal life, like I talk about in my book “How To Be A 3% Man,” or you’re trying to figure out your purpose in life, like I talk about in my second book, “Mastering Yourself,” we all have a personal life, and a professional life that we’re trying to grow, to work on and reach our full potential in.

When you’re accomplishing big goals and you’re trying to step outside the comfort zone of where your current peer group happens to be, if you’re surrounded by people that aren’t doing the things or aren’t taking on big goals and dreams like you want to, as you start to move beyond that comfort zone, those people, their natural tendency is going to be to pull you back down to their level.

When you’re trying to accomplish or achieve something, especially things that take a decade or more to accomplish, and you’re surrounded by, just about a hundred percent of everybody that you’re around is not doing that in their own lives, and you start doing that, many of them are going to create problems for you. Your decision to move towards the things that you want in life is going to be a big mirror back to them of how they’re not stepping up in their own lives and going for the things that they really want. And it makes them feel uncomfortable.

That’s why you often see people that you thought were on your team and cared about you, and they say they wanted you to be successful, then you start to realize they may want you to be successful, but not too much more successful than they are. So what do you do? What do you do when life feels hopeless?

Now I’m fifty years old, and I’ve had so many periods of my life where I was either uprooting my life or my personal life, or changing businesses, changing careers or changing jobs, and I had big goals and dreams and things I wanted to accomplish. And the reality is, it just seems like you’re never getting anywhere.

So what I’m going to talk about in this video newsletter is, what do you do? How do you keep yourself motivated when you’re surrounded by people that are trying to keep you where you’re at? Naturally, society is like that. And how do you motivate yourself when you have your own doubts and fears?

I remember years ago when I was deciding to leave my very stable, safe, secure, well-paying job in the construction industry, I had literally gone to school and it took me seven years to get my degree. I worked for five years in the industry, was well-established, was very experienced, to just leave all of that stable life, where I was surrounded by other people who had this same kind of life setup, and they all looked at me like, “Ehhh, I don’t know about that. That seems pretty risky dude.”

At the time when I was in my mid-twenties, that was the first time in my life I was really going for the things that I wanted. Up until that point, everything had been set up. Now that my schooling was out of the way, I had the knowledge I needed in the construction industry, and I wanted to buy, fix and sell family homes for a profit, but I had never done it before. I knew how to build. I was very successful at that. But I had to go and take the financial risk of buying a property, hoping that you bought it low enough, and that you budgeted your construction budget, and you had enough holding time and holding cost figured in there, that it won’t eat up all your profit, and you can go through all of that and it will be profitable.

When you’ve never done something like that before, whether it’s in your career or maybe your personal life, maybe you ended a relationship that just wasn’t what you wanted it to be — it was mediocre in your own eyes and you want something that’s exceptional. When you’re three, four, five, six months, a year, two years, and you really don’t feel like you’ve made the progress you wanted, because you haven’t met anybody that you really jived or clicked with yet.

When you’ve got everybody around you settling for mediocrity in every area of their life and they’re like, “Hey, what’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you settling down? Why aren’t you getting married? What was wrong with that last girl you dated? She was pretty cool. I liked her. We all liked her. I can’t believe you broke up with her. What the hell is wrong with you?” You’re surrounded by that.

You’ve got to have acts of faith if you will — faith in yourself, faith that things will work out, faith that the universe will bring you the things that you want — because the reality is, when you’re going for big goals and big dreams, you don’t know if it’s going to work out. You don’t know that if you’re draining your life savings, or what little savings you have and investing it into this new venture or new career, you don’t know if it’s going to work out.

And if it hasn’t worked out yet, what if you up and quit. One of the things I liked that Elon Musk says is, you shouldn’t quit on your big goals and dreams unless you’re absolutely forced to. At least in my own life, that’s the right way to look at it. If you’re still able to earn more capital to invest in the things you want, and you’ve still got time to do it, do it.

If you’re absolutely forced, like in his case, he had invested all of the money he had made from Paypal and his previous ventures he had made a lot of money on. And on top of that, not only had he invested all of his own personal fortune in SpaceX and Tesla, he had all of his friends and family investing millions and millions of dollars into his vision. So if he had just given up and quit, he would have been wiped out financially, and he would have pissed off all of his friends and family, because they would have all lost their money.

So for him, he wasn’t willing to quit unless he was absolutely forced to. But he was able to continue on, finding investors and other people that believed in his vision. And now, all these years later, his stock prices are starting to go through the roof, because people are seeing, after multiple decades in the industry of going for the things he wants, he’s got a track record of success.

It’s like the rest of the herd is kind of coming around to the fact that this guy is actually going to do it. Whereas, just a matter of eight, ten years ago, you had some of the guys who were the first guys to walk on the moon from the original space program going, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for this private company to be doing space travel.”

And he was really hurt by that. He was disappointed, because he wanted to build the kind of rocket ships and space vehicles that he was hoping the original astronauts would be excited about. Several of them were very critical of him. Here, he risked everything, and the people he was hoping to get the approval of weren’t very supportive of it.

But he still persevered, because he still had time, he still had resources, he still was able to convince people to invest in it. We actually did a documentary called “The Success Secrets of Elon Musk.” You guys should watch it. We put a lot of time and energy and effort to distill what were the things that he looked at in life. What was his mindset? How did he get through it? Why did this guy consistently, decade after decade, win one victory after another?

The whole time, if you look at his history, it was always in peril. It always looked like it wasn’t going to work out. It always looked like he was days, weeks, and months away from absolute, complete failure and humiliation. And not only that, but he did this in front of the whole world, where everybody in the news and media knew about it, so he had the whole pressure of society going, shit’s probably not going to work out. And now look at him.

He’s persevered and come through on the other side at this point. But people don’t look at all of the hard work and the fact that, as far as SpaceX goes, he’s closing in on almost two decades of being in the space industry. They haven’t gone to the moon yet, but they launched a lot of things. They went to the International Space Station just recently. They successfully launched two crew members to the Space Station.

He’s accomplished a lot. And the things he really wants to accomplish, his really super big things he wants to accomplish have yet to be done. People are just now starting to go, “This guy may actually be able to pull it off.” So if you kind of identify with that, if you see yourself as like an Elon Musk style person that’s going for the things that you want in life, I highly recommend you watch his story in our documentary.

We put a lot of time and energy and effort into it, so you can grab the bullet points. What’s his mindset? There’s a bunch of really great quotes, his backstory and everything he suffered through. The goal was, we picked apart his life, and here’s how this guy did it. Here’s how now becoming one of the world’s wealthiest men has been able to accomplish these things decade after decade. He’s got a process.

Just like I talked about in the title of the video, focus on the process. That’s the one thing that Elon has always done. It’s one of the things I’ve always done, and any successful person, people like Michael Jordan. Anybody that’s accomplished really amazing things in life, when shit’s going on all around you and things don’t look like they’re going to work out in your favor, you have to focus on the process.

What must I do right now, even though I don’t feel like it, and everybody’s talking shit about me, snickering and sneering behind my back about how they don’t think I can do it? What do I need to do right now to move my life forward? What little action can I take? What thing can I spend five or ten minutes doing to immerse myself in taking action?

A quote I’ve often used over the years was originally from Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” What he said was “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.” So if you’re in a difficult spot right now in life and you’re filled with fear, worried about the future, and it doesn’t look like things are going to work out, ask yourself this simple question: What must I do right now? What can I do right now that’s going to be a positive action step and help me to move my life forward and towards the things that I want?

When you get involved in taking action an doing something that’s positive, it forces you to focus on the present moment, which is the only moment that exists anyway. When most people get in a fearful state, you’re worried about what may or may not happen in the future or you’re worried about what happened in the past, and you can’t move your life forward if you’re not living in the present moment.

That’s why taking action, even if it’s something that’s small and only takes you five or ten minutes to do, you’ll lose yourself in actually taking the action and actually doing that task or that thing you need to do. And after you get done with it, you notice a sense of accomplishment. You felt like you did something. You’re actually going to feel better, because you totally got into the present moment in doing the things you needed to do. So that’s always going to be the cure.

If you’re fearful, if you want to meet more women, but you’re afraid of talking to women, go talk to women. Go talk to strangers. Get out there and circulate amongst other human beings. Go in a social setting. Go hang out and have lunch somewhere in a busy place, a place where you can talk to other people.

If you’re unemployed or you lost your job because of the coronavirus, make a list of all the people or the employers that you would like to work for, and start banging the phones looking for a job, because every employer in the history of all mankind likes to have low-maintenance employees who are self-motivated and self-starters, people who learn their job and their tasks and do a great job, so they don’t have to worry about them.

All great employers and managers love to have low-maintenance employees that they can just assign something to, and they just handle it. Time after time, day in and day out, week after week, month after month, year after year, they always get those little things done, and they can count on them. Because every employer also has employees that aren’t doing the things that they need to do.

If you’re the type of self-starter that can go make a list of potential employers to go work for and then start calling them on the phones and dropping by with your resume, dressed up in your suit and looking good, and getting out there and circulating, that’s what a self-starter does. That’s what an exceptional employee does. And the reality is, almost a hundred percent of the people that you’re competing against for that job are too fucking lazy to do anything. They’ll sit online, clicking buttons and sending digital resumes and then wait for their phone to ring.

You’ve got to stand out. If you’re an exceptional employee, you’re not going to wait for it to come to you. You’re going to go out there and create the circumstances where you will find a job. Because again, every employer, myself included, like people that are low-maintenance. I like people that are really smart and that really have a passion for what they do. I like to hire people that love what they do. Everybody that works for me, whether they are a direct employee or an independent contractor, they love what they do, they’re exceptional at it and it shows in their work — the quality of their work.

Also, when I work with other people, I love working with exceptional people who love what they do, like Jon Dufresne of Kinetic Consulting who I train with for firearms training. He loves what he does, and he’s absolutely passionate about it. He’s a perfect type of person to learn from, because even in his spare time, he’s learning about the latest and greatest things and interacting with people in the firearms industry, seeing the best stuff that’s out there. People pay him to beta test their products. And who better to learn from than somebody like that?

So no matter what I’m doing, whether it’s something I do for fun or something that’s business related, I love working with exceptional people. And if you want to accomplish your grandest goals and dreams, whether it’s improving your personal life or your professional life, you’ve got to set yourself apart from everybody else by taking an obscene amount of action, doing the things that most people won’t do.

That’s why the title of my first book was “How To Be A 3% Man.” You’ve got about three out of a hundred people who are going to be the top people. If you’re willing to do the things I talk about in “How To Be A 3% Man,” and you’re willing to take the time to learn what’s in “Mastering Yourself,” you’re going to set yourself apart from pretty much everybody universally you’re competing against. That’s why you’ll date all of the amazing women that your friends drool over. And that’s why, whether it’s a job or a business you want to start, you’ll accomplish those things, because you’re willing to do the little things that most people, average, mediocre people, simply won’t do.

No matter how bad things look, how shitty things are, or how worried you are about the future, if you’re worried about the future, or you’re stuck living in the past of what happened or didn’t work out in the past, you’ve got to take action. That’s going to put you in the present moment. And when you’re stuck in the present moment, focused on doing something and doing it really well, you’re not going to be thinking of the future, and you’re not going to be thinking of the past. It’s going to make you feel good.

When you feel good, guess what, you smile more. And when you smile more, you’re more attractive, you’re more approachable and you’re more likeable. And if people like you and they trust you, they will buy from you, whatever it is you’re selling — whether it’s your time to an employer, or your time for a woman to go out on a date with you. The more things you can do in life that are going to make you smile, the happier and more successful you’re going to be.

“Human beings naturally move towards things they think or perceive will lead to them experiencing pleasure. Conversely, they move away from things they think or perceive will lead to them experiencing pain. That’s what makes goal setting and achievement so elusive for most people. The story that they tell themselves and the meanings that they give to the circumstance of their lives make it pleasurable to take action and avoid action that moves them away from the things they want and towards what they don’t want. Success is a long process that takes years and often decades to accomplish really big goals and dreams. Feeling successful is the result of making small incremental progress towards achieving your grandest goals and dreams. The cure for fear, doubt and uncertainty about your future is always to take any action, no matter how big or small, that helps to move you towards what you want. Great things always take time and usually way longer than you expect, as well as being more expensive than you thought it would be when starting out, but victory and success after many years of struggle, heartache and disappointment is what separates exceptional from mediocre people.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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