Friends Only Means No Sex

What it means when a woman you are dating says she wants to be friends only, but still hang out, and how to respond so your relationship stays romantic instead of becoming platonic.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss four emails from four different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who had a girl he was friends with benefits with. She started to become attached to him and got upset when she found out he was still dating other women. A few months later after his mother passed away, the power flipped in their relationship. She graduated from college and was moving away. He had become attached to her by then and she friend zoned him. He later went to visit her in her new city with a friend of his, but she was as cold as ice affection-wise. He wonders how to get out of friends zone. The second email is from a viewer who did an outstanding job of meeting and making out with a woman who was on vacation that he met in a bar he frequents. She later left with her brother and gave him her facebook info. He asks me how to handle communication to avoid becoming her male girlfriend.

The third email is from a viewer whose ex recently started contacting him again. She had friend-zoned him several months before and he walked away. She asked him for some advice in a text which he ignored and then she called him a few days later to express her condolences about his mother who was in the hospital. He does not think she took him seriously about not wanting to be friends only, and he wonders how he should handle the situation. The fourth email is from a viewer whose ex-girlfriend has a new boyfriend. He walked away a few weeks ago, but he became fearful he would not hear from her again. So he sent her an email as part of a mass invite email blast to his friends. Now he wonders what he should do if she shows up to his party. He basically bullshitted himself into pursuing her again and is ignoring the fact she is in a new relationship.

“People who have a tendency to go along with things that are against their wishes are people who are too afraid to stand out from the crowd and stand up for themselves. They place a higher value on seeking the approval of others, than making sure their own needs are met. They therefore are always trying to be all things to all people in order to gain the acceptance of others, which tends to be fleeting, fickle and inconsistent anyway. When you stand up for yourself there is a very real risk and likelihood that some people will not like you or want you, but if you never stand up for yourself, you will never have anyone respect you enough to love you, value you and appreciate you for who you really are. It’s much better to have a few good friends and lovers, than lots of phony friends who don’t really care about you and no lovers at all.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne