From Insecurity To Attraction. I Became What I Wanted

The process of becoming what you want to attract.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who had some epiphanies on why he kept attracting the same type of women. Clingy, needy, insecure and constantly needing attention.

He shares how working on himself and becoming a better man enabled him to attract better quality women who are secure, balanced and calm. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So this email not really has any questions, but it’s a guy who had a bunch of epiphanies, and he got to a point where he realized that he kept attracting the same kind of woman, and I’m sure many of you probably watching this have had this experience or know somebody that’s had this experience where it seems like, even though the woman is physically different and it’s somebody new, really you’re dating the same person over and over. In other words, you keep attracting the same kind of person.

So this guy noticed that he was always attracting clingy, needy, insecure women who constantly needed attention. So as he continued to try to learn and understand himself and become better and improve, he realized that that the women that he was attracting were a reflection of himself and how he was showing up. So that meant he came to the realization that he was also clingy, needy, insecure and constantly needing attention. So the more he became focused on himself and becoming a better quality man, he noticed that the women that he attracted no longer had these issues. You’ve probably heard me say many times, plus it’s in the book, 3% Man. You got to become what you want to attract.

So in this process of him taking stock of where he was at and realizing every girl was like this, it’s like a carbon copy of the same woman, even though they’re different people, it’s like the same qualities, the same values, the same characteristics, the same same shortcomings, the same flaws, he keeps attracting the same kind of women over and over again. When you notice that, it’s like you’ve probably heard the guy say, “I hate my city. All the girls here suck.” So they moved to a new city and then all the girls there suck too. Then they moved to a third city. “Oh, the women are this or there that. They all suck.” Well, it’s usually a you problem because if you have a perception that people in a certain area or a certain way, well you’re going to continue to meet that kind of person, but when you’re open to other possibilities and you’ve done the work on yourself and you’ve become the kind of person that you want to attract, you’ll attract somebody who matches mirrors and vibes with the same energy that you have. Like attracts like. People that like the same things tend to like each other. Liars and cheaters tend to attract other liars and cheaters. Needy, insecure, clingy people tend to attract other needy, insecure, clingy people. People that are happy, whole and complete and love their time by themselves, love being by themselves, will attract other people who feel the same way.

If you’re a calm man, you’ll attract a calm woman. If you’re a chaotic man, you’ll attract a chaotic woman. So the women that you attract into your life are a reflection of how you are showing up, and if you’re not happy about the type of women you’re attracting or you seem to always attract the same kind of woman, then you need to look at the person that you see in the mirror every day is the person that can make the changes necessary so you start attracting the kind of women you ideally want to be with.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

There was a time when I kept attracting girls who were beautiful yes, but also clingy, insecure, always needing constant attention. At first it felt flattering, but over time, I noticed the same patterns repeating: Drama, emotional swings, too much too soon.

Yeah, when you meet a girl and she wants to be exclusive on the second date, she gets upset that you haven’t called quicker than you did when you call her for a first date, when you see things like that, as her emotions get engaged, the behavior tends to get worse the more she starts to care, because she can’t deal with the insecurities, because she grew up in an environment where she didn’t feel safe, so she didn’t learn to regulate her own emotions because there wasn’t a strong father in the house to present that masculinity so she could grow up in a calm, safe environment.

And it hit me: These girls weren’t the problem! They were reflecting who I was.

You attract how you act.

I was carrying my own insecurity. I feared silence, being left on “seen,” or not being enough. So even if I played it cool on the surface, my vibe screamed “Please like me.” And I was attracting exactly that energy in return— Women who also didn’t feel safe or complete in themselves.

When I started working on myself— Getting grounded, confident, emotionally neutral—something shifted. Suddenly, the women I met were calm, balanced, even mysterious. They didn’t chase.

Out of neediness.

They didn’t test.

Well, all women test to a degree, but if you’re really centered, the tests are really easy. You may not even really notice that you’re being tested just because you’re so laser-focused and being a man and being masculine.

They followed my lead and brought peace, not chaos…

In other words, he started attracting women that made his dick hard and not his life hard and women who were nice to him, and that brought him peace instead of disturbing his peace.

…And that’s when I realized something powerful: You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.

This is so true.

So if you keep attracting the wrong kind of women, don’t look out there. Look inward, fix the energy, build your center, and let the world match your new standard.
You’re not chasing. You’re choosing.

Bob

Besides, chasing doesn’t work. All you’ll end up doing is chasing the women out of your life. Again, you got to become what you want to attract. That’s what’s really important. Focus on building you up, because if you’re attracting bad quality women, bad quality friends, business partners or investors or whatever, that’s a reflection of how you’re showing up. You attract how you act. People who like the same things tend to like each other. It’s just water that seeks its own level. That’s the way the world works. As Wayne Dyer used to say, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

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Also, with today being Friday, we have a live stream that we’re going to be doing for you guys to answer your questions. So we hope we’ll see you in the live stream. All you got to do is go to the home page of my YouTube channel @CoachCoreyWayne and click the “live” tab and then you’ll see all the previous and the upcoming scheduled live streams. So on Fridays, we typically do a live stream from 1:00 p.m. eastern, which is same time zone as Miami and New York, to 3:00 p.m., and it’ll be myself, Chunky and the girls and whatever questions or comments you guys have, please bring them and just post them into the chat during the live stream and we’ll get them answered for you.

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