How to ask for a woman’s phone number with confidence, charm & humor so she gives it to you with a smile. Why you should not ignore a woman’s texts or calls, but simply respond to them… later, when you’ve got time so she wonders about you which will create sexual tension causing her to want you even more. The following is an e-mail from a reader who got dumped by his girlfriend a few months ago. Like a lot of men I coach, he found out about my website and work because he wanted to get his girlfriend back.
He focused on relentlessly applying what I teach about meeting and dating women to get phone numbers, and set up dates with ease. He does a really good job of quickly thinking about great confident, and humorous comebacks to use when women offer resistance to him when he asks them for their phone numbers as you’ll see in his email. His ex-girlfriend also has recently reached out to him and sent him a text after two months. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Most of the time I read your book, I take two or three minute breaks to process the information and think about different ways in how to apply the techniques in real life situations. (Good job! Very smart!) Hey Corey! I have even asked myself, “Why didn’t I find this material a couple of months earlier god dammed?” Although I would have wished the break up was for mutual reasons, who gives a shit? If I would’ve stayed with her, I would have been the same needy, weak, insecure and unbalanced person I used to be. Although I thought I lost her, I think she was the one who lost me. (Now you’re talking!)
I am a friendly and social person. Most of the time I walk into different public places, I carry a decent and honest smile on my face. Thanks to your material, I have a better comprehension to distinguish when a girl gives me a red or green light. Not so long ago I went to the mall. (The best place to improve your social skills.) I saw this beautiful girl behind the counter playing with her hair. The first thing I thought was “Hah! She is probably flirting with her customer.” I was hoping for the other clerks to spend a long time to finish with their customers so I could go and pay for my items with this girl I was attracted to.
For some reason, she started to hurry with her customer and finished before her co-workers. (Hoping to win the lottery of the customer service line to get you next.) After I got in front of her, she showed me all the patterns of a nervous person. Looking at her eyes, I took her hand and told her, “don’t be nervous, I am not going to bite you in public… hahahaha” Oh man, the poor girl’s hand was really sweaty. (Nice way to use touching to disarm and reassure her that you are cool, and that touching women is something you do all the time. It feels natural and puts her at ease… as long as you do it the right way which you did.) I asked for her number and she said she didn’t want to get in trouble. (Resistance means low interest. The higher a woman’s level of initial attraction/interest is in you to start out with, the easier it will be to get her number or set a date.)
I looked at her eyes and responded, “I know you are really smart,” and she smiled. (Nice cocky comeback! Good job!) She called and asked her manager to assist her on the computer. Her manager noticed her emotional status and asked her “are you nervous?” with an innocent smile. She responded “no way, why would I?” After I walked out of the store, I was reviewing the receipt she put in the bag. I wanted to know how much I was charged. The first thing I saw were the 10 digits of her phone number she wrote on it! (You passed her test with your better, confident comeback. Therefore, she decided to give you a shot.)
I have had other experiences at the gym, at the club, at the beach and other public areas. There have been occasions I say to the girls, “Stop fooling around and give me your number.” (The power of charm, confidence and humor.) They just do it, without me even having to ask for their names, or any other personal information. Others have acted funny responding, “I don’t know you.” (Resistance to your advances that reveals low interest in the 50-60% range. You can’t make any mistakes with initial interest that low or she’ll reject you outright.) All I say back is, “Well, I know you want to know me, otherwise you wouldn’t be spending 7 hours starring at me with that puppy-dog look on your face.” They have smiled, called me an asshole, etc.
Sometimes I respond I prefer to be called “dick,” because it can multitask and has more merits. Then smiling, they give me their numbers. (Nice SWAGGER dude! Your confidence and great on-the-fly comebacks cause women to give you a shot.) Once it’s saved, I walk away and don’t contact them until several days have passed. Sometimes I get pissed off when I don’t answer their text messages and they just can’t stop sending me new ones!!!! (That is because it is a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.) I guess that’s what happens when you don’t chase or beg like a dog for somebody’s ass! Don’t chase to be chased. (Chasing women guarantees rejection. Besides, if you give women the chance to wonder about you, they will pursue you instead. Why? They prefer it that way. GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT!!!)
“They are just like cats.” That is one the the best examples I like most from your book. I remember the first email I sent you about my Ex Fiancee, and the whole drama about my Jealous sister in law. The last time I heard my Ex Fiancee’s voice, she said, “Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Go back with your ex girlfriend.” I responded, “I just wanted to know where our relationship was standing at, but ok.” I was gonna let her go this time for good. (The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it.)
She did a favor to me which was blocking me from her facebook. Two months have past, and I’ve been doing what I told her. I’ve been keeping my word not contacting her. (Smart.) Apparently the memories, curiosities and other good stuff about our past are stewing in her head. (Plus the fact that 97% of the men who will hit on her are clueless!!!) Yesterday morning she sent me a message asking, “How is your family doing? How are you doing?” All that went through my head was, “Hah! Nice way to say I miss you.” (Translation: “I’m really starting to miss you and I am contemplating us being together again.”)
Corey, this girl was my real one. (You bought into the myth of the one. That is an attachment.) I still care and have strong feelings for her. Although the break up has been an opportunity for me to grow, I also have to consider the fact that I’ve been learning and doing lots of good things with other girls 🙂 (You’re doing great! You should always celebrate your victories.) But then, here I have the girl who takes my guard down. I haven’t answered back to her text. Nor am I thinking to do it unless she contacts me again.
I want to let her taste the feeling of being ignored, unwanted, throat and chest pain like I did so she can learn the lesson. HOW WOULD YOU DO IT COREY? (I would not ignore her texts. That is rude. However, simply respond… later… “Family is doing great and so am I. Thanks for asking! I hope you are doing well. Keep in touch.” Don’t call or initiate anything with her. Only ask her to do something if she brings it up. Be charming, but brief when you respond to her texts. Be busy heading out with a friend, etc. when you reply so she does not expect to chit chat.
Therefore, if she really wants to see you, it will frustrate her and cause her to reveal her cards/true intentions. Eventually, she’ll either leave you alone, or bring up getting together. If she does, then set a definite date.) I know people always want what they can’t have. Girls don’t like to be ignored by a guy they had strong attachments to. (True, but don’t be a dick and ignore her. You want the lines of communication to be open and easy, but you’re simply not going to initiate any of it since she rejected you and told you to get lost.) Should I wait a week to respond to those two questions with simple and short answers, or should I just ignore her completely and let her do all the work?
(Return texts between 6-7 pm and be heading out the door when you send your reply so she does not try to engage you in conversation. Texts you receive after 7 pm should be returned the next day, preferably the afternoon. Why? It leaves her wondering why you don’t immediately reply and causes her to wonder if you’re out with another woman. It will create a sense of urgency inside her to make something happen between you two because of your inaction, and her fear of losing you to another woman. Here’s a typical text reponse… “Hey, got your message. Nice to hear from you! Can’t talk right now. Heading out to meet up with a friend. Have a great night!” It will force her to be more specific and get to the point sooner next time she texts you because you seem to be so busy. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
Your answers are very important to all of us.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.” ~ Chinese proverb