Girl From Work Says She Likes To Make Men Wait & Gave Me The Cheek. What Now?

How to respond to a female coworker who is playing hard to get.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who says a new girl from work seemed to be showing him signs of romantic interest. He got her number, but she was evasive when he tried to make a definite date. She really worked hard to get his attention and to flirt with him over the next few weeks. However, when he went for a kiss, she gave him the cheek and said she likes to play a game and make men wait. She never responded to his last message and he asks what he should do now. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be Members Only Newsletter is going to be, I should say, “Girl From Work Says She Likes To Make Men Wait And Gave Me The Cheek. What Now?

Well, this particular emails from a guy who started interacting with a new girl at work. And there’s some things that he’s done here that I would not suggest doing because we do live in the #MeToo era. And you want to be tactful. If you meet a girl at work and you think she’s into you it’s always best to do something like, “hey, take my number. My buddies and I are going to be out at this place.

If you and your girlfriends are out and, you know, it’d be great if you guys want to meet up with us.” Because if you’re talking and you’re like, “hey, what are you doing this weekend? What are you doing?” It’s like, “oh, I’m going downtown with my buddies. We’re going to be at this place.” And she’s like, “oh, I heard that’s a cool place.” It’s like, “yeah, well, take my number. If you guys are downtown, maybe we can all meet up.”

And if she takes your number, she might reach out. If she really likes you, she’ll do that because hitting on a girl at work, especially being a little more aggressive, like he’s being with this particular girl, could blow up in your face. Especially when she basically says she likes to play a game. So it looks like she might be a little bit manipulative. So you got to be careful. You’re kind of playing with fire when you do this at the office.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

I’m a big fan and I have been reading through your book. For the last couple of weeks there has been this girl at work who has been showing interest me. Constantly looking at me whenever I walk by, and she been going out of her way to stop into my office and chat with me.

After around 2 weeks of this I got her number. Later that night I shot her a text and we went back and forth around 3 or 4 messages and I asked her out. And I tried setting a definite date with a location and time. She replied “I’m busy the next couple of weeks but I can try to fit you in.”

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Not a good sign. That shows that she likes the attention. If she really liked you, she would have made time. “Oh, I’m busy in the next few weeks.” In other words, “don’t bother me again. Don’t ask me out again because I’m real busy. Schedules crazy. Crazy. Crazy busy.”

I said let me know if that day and time worked and if not let me know when she is available. She got back to me about a day and a half later saying, “I actually have an appointment with the bar that night”

I am 27 and she is 21. I saw this realized she was playing a game and didn’t text her back. The next week at work she was all over me even more. I was nice.

Because you’ve tried to set a date and what is she doing? She’s giving you mixed messages. She’s kind of not really answering the question, and she’s kind of dangling the carrot. She knows you like her. So you were a little too overeager communicating your interest. I mean, if you got her number and you texted her that night, that shows you’re pretty hot for her. And if she’s the average hot girl, you’re like, one of a thousand guys is displayed super high interest.

And usually what happens with those guys is they can’t handle it and they fuck it up and they chase her out of their life. And so the idea is you’re trying to go slightly slower than she is. And so she gave you the number at work. I would have texted her back, “hey you, it’s Bob. Whatever.” So she has your number, and then if she doesn’t reach out after a week or whatever, or you could say, “hey, if you guys get into anything fun this week and hit me up. You know, me and my buddies and I can meet up with you if we’re down in that area.” Or something like that.

I was nice and cordial to her and we were having a good conversation full of laughter and teasing. The shift ended and I saw her three days later at work all over again. She kept calling me into her office and flirting with me hard and began holding my hand and touching me. We were having a great time. However she brought up that she was playing a game and likes it when I guys wait.

Women help you when they like you. In other words, what she’s really trying to communicate is, “hey, you’re going a little too fast. And I like to tease guys because they usually lose their shit, and then in essence, take themselves out of running.” And so she basically just gave you the keys to the kingdom there. She said, “slow it down. You’re going too fast.”

In other words, if she’s holding your hand, then she’s trying to see how you handle it. If you are calm, like this is the kind of thing that happens to you all the time, or if you get, “Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo! Oh, Mommy likes me! Ooh!” You start freaking out, then she like, “oh, I don’t feel a spark. But we can be friends. You can unclog, clog my toilet after Chad Thunder Cock clogs it up with beer and chicken wings from the night before.”

I said I’m not in the business of playing games or waiting too long.

Bad response. “I’m impatient and I can’t handle it. Don’t make me wait. I might get mad. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

After the shift we were out in the parking lot, and she was giving me that look. As she got close to me and grabbed me, I went in for the kiss, but she gave me the cheek and said she was not gonna kiss me I was like okay that’s fine and held back for a few minutes and talked to her.

When tensions increased, I tried again and she again gave me the cheek. I back off then she turned around and leaned into me then I grabbed her by the waist, and she kept saying, “I don’t know.” I said you obviously have rules and that’s fine.

Well, she’s a little structured and she’s kind of playing with it because she could tell you like her. And so she’s kind of playing a game. It’s not really respectful to do that. So that’s not a good sign my man.

We had a couple more laughs and she said I’ll see you next week. A couple days went by and I decided to give her a call.

I wouldn’t have done that. You’re getting the cheek. Then what you do, this is when you remove all of your attention. Because what I would do when you’re going for the kiss multiple times and she turns a cheek and on top, “Oh, I like to make guys wait.” If you had other women that were like, “oh, what am I going to see you next?” You would just give them all of your time and your attention and you would look at this going, “you know, this girl is just kind of jerking me around.“

“She’s a little bit of an attention whore, so she’s not really reciprocating. Plus she’s giving me the cheek and rejecting me.” So unless she reaches out to you first, you’re never, ever going to reach out again. If you see her in the office and she waves you over like, [waves hand] wave to her, it’s like, “oh, sorry, I gotta you know, I can’t right now. I can’t talk right now.” And then just go about your business and then start giving other women in the office your time and attention. And don’t give her any.

You should treat her like the girl you’re tired of fucking. If you were bored with somebody and you were tired of fucking them, and yet you work together, you’re going to be nice, you’re going to be polite, but you’re not going to really do anything that’s going to give her the idea that you’re still interested, or you still want to hang out and hook up. You’re just going to give your attention to women that you like more. And so this is where you’re kind of screwing up.

A couple days went by and I decided to give her a call to see how her day went which she didn’t pick up which I immediately followed up with a text.

That’s kind of neurotic, dude. It’s like a double text. Basically, you should have just left a message, “Hey, this is Bob. Give me a call.” But again, I wouldn’t have been calling her in this case because you got the cheek. And when you get the cheek, you assume she’s probably structured or not interested, and then you’re not going to call or text her again for any reason. And the only reason, I mean, this is right out of The Book, Mr. I’ve-Read-The-Book-10-Times. When a woman behaves this way, you’re never, ever going to ask her out again unless she reaches out to you first. And so his text was:

“Hey I just called you, nothing important I just wanted to check in and see how your day went”.

Why would you send a text like that? The phone is for setting dates.

It’s been about 18 hours and she still hasn’t reached out. What should I do?

Bob

Nothing. Stop moving forward. Don’t give her any more of your time and attention. Remember the cheek that you got, and now she didn’t call you back for 18 hours? That shows super low interest. And so if you see her in the office, smile, wave and then go about your business. Or if she wants to come into your office, “Hey, how you been? What are you up to?” And chat with her for a while and then say, “Hey, well, I got to get back to my work. Thanks for stopping by.” And then just don’t ask her out. Don’t do anything.

And so what that will do is if there’s any kind of interest or any kind of chance, then she’ll reach out to you. And if she does, then make a date. Hang out, have fun, hook up. But I wouldn’t be going in her office and sitting there shooting the shit or bullshitting with her. I would just give your time and attention to somebody else who earns it. Because the way she’s treated you is like, what you didn’t realize is you should have stopped moving forward and backed off. I would have never called her because again, once you get the cheek, that’s it.

You stop all forward movement and then you move on with your life and give your time and attention to girls that are actually excited to see you, hear from you, talk to you, make a date. And this girl likes the attention, but she also seems to like dangling the carrot in front of you. And, “oh, you almost got it. Oh, you missed it again.” When you get the cheek like that, you don’t give any more attention. You just assume she’s wasting your time or jerking you around or has little interest. And you’ll give her another chance, but, she’s got to be the one to reach out to you.

And with a girl like this in the office, I’d let her do 100% of the reaching out going forward. And because if you do that and she actually does reach out and you go out on a date and you do kiss and you make out, and then you don’t call or text after that date, she’ll probably reach out to you again. It’ll drive her nuts. The fact that you’re not going into her office, you’re not chasing her. You seem to be giving more of your time and attention to the other girls in the office. And you want her to get frustrated.

You want her to wonder like, “what happened? Does he not like me anymore? Did he meet somebody else?” Because it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear and even way too clear. And so she kind of taken it for granted. And again, when you get to cheek, you just stop moving forward altogether. And you don’t ever ask her out unless she reaches out to you. It’s right out of the Book, my man.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.