Goals & Values Not Aligned, Trust Broken & Boundaries Violated

When your goals & values are not aligned & your trust is broken & boundaries violated.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who spent a year dating a woman long distance. They planned to move to Florida to live together. However, during the past year he realized their goals & vales aren’t aligned, she broke his trust and violated his boundaries. He shares a lot of details about what led to him dumping her as part of the vetting process. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Goals & Values Not Aligned, Trust Broken & Boundaries Violated”.

Well this email is from a guy who he dated a woman for about a year. They were long distance. They were like on opposite ends of the country. And towards the end they were planning on moving to the free State of Florida, where yours truly resides. However, there are lots of things that basically came to a head there in the end, and the guy just did a really good job of vetting this woman, and being unemotionally attached. And he dipped on her.

So it’s a good email for you guys that are in the vetting process, or you’re dating a woman, you’re having some issues here. Because it’s important that your goals and values must align. The way you want to raise children, it must align. And if it doesn’t, there’s no point in being together. It’s not going to work. And on top of that, if somebody is violating your trust, which you’ll see, she did some pretty egregious things.

And then on top of that acts like he’s the problem and he’s insecure, if you will. But this woman comes from a broken home, and this is his pattern that you just see over and over and over again. Character is destiny. And so you’ve got to date people and vet them based on their character.

So let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I’m looking for your perspective on whether I made the right decision ending a relationship and how to fully move forward. I met a woman on a group travel trip in Italy. We were long-distance, me in New York, her in Los Angeles, but over the course of a year we traveled extensively together, France, Japan, Miami, and went back and forth between LA and NYC.

Keep in mind, he obviously paid for everything because I think he, she works in retail, probably doesn’t make a lot of money. And you can just tell her attitude is like, she’s entitled to spend his money and he should be blowing it on her, on any of her whims and whatever she wants. So what do I always say? Easygoing, easy to get along with. She’s nice to you. She’s flexible. She’s a giver. She communicates like an adult, loves her dad. Admires her father, respects him, looks up to him, trusts his judgment. She’ll say things like, he’s my rock. I always go to my dad. I always run things by him. That’s what you want to see.

Girls that are raised by good men typically make really good partners. And women that grow up in broken homes basically behave like this woman did. So it’s a really good email to learn from on what to avoid because the book is amazing, but it’s not going to fix somebody that came from a broken home. It’s not going to fix somebody with low character. It will reveal it really quickly so you can dip on out. But at the end of the day, character is destiny. You’ve got to vet people based on what they do now, what they say.

She is 40, originally from Brazil, has lived in the U.S. for 20 years, and worked at a retail store.

So if she’s working at a retail store she’s probably not making much money.

She also had a difficult family background with her father not present.

Well, there it is. So when the dad’s not around, she typically doesn’t understand or doesn’t learn which men to trust or which men are trustworthy. Even when these women are typically in a relationship because they were starved for their dad’s attention that they never got. Even if they’re in a relationship, they’ll invite attention from other men. They’ll give out their phone number and think, oh, he’s just being a nice friend. They have male orbiters.

They want to hang out with the male orbiters one on one. They go out and hang out with their bosses one on one. Again, that’s something else you’ll see here. And just they don’t have any boundaries because again, dad was never around to teach them right from wrong. These are girls that are for fun and for fucking, but not for family. Not for a relationship. And the other thing you’ve got to consider she’s 40 and she ain’t changing at this point.

After about a year, we made plans to move to Florida together for a fresh start. Several value differences became clear over time. One of the biggest was around long-term commitment. I believe strongly in “in sickness and in health,” while she explicitly said she does not. She told me it would be selfish of me to expect her to stay if I became seriously ill one day and dismissed the concern by saying she doesn’t get sick because she eats “California Clean”.

So she’s probably got a little bit of the woke mind virus going on and what anybody notices to deal with people on the left is they’re very arrogant. They’re very condescending and they think they’re experts on everything. Literally every single thing. They’re an expert. Anybody that disagrees is an idiot, even though they get their information from the mainstream media, and all they do is just start regurgitating platitudes. “Oh, I follow the science. Trust the science. Nobody needs a 30 round magazine. Oh, nobody’s trying to take your guns away. That’s ridiculous.” Stupid shit like that. “Oh, the vaccine keeps me from getting really sick.” Even though they get sick every time they get a fucking booster and a shot.

This fundamentally conflicted with my understanding of partnership.

Yeah, if a woman’s basically saying, hey, if you get sick or fucked up, I’m out. She works in retail, doesn’t make a lot of money. But yet, again, she lives in California and her mind has been twisted by the retards in power. So you’re just not going to fix that.

Family was another major difference. I want at least one child, while she initially never wanted kids.

Well, again, right there, your goals are completely not aligned. And trying to talk or twist a woman’s arm. Especially when she’s got the woke mind virus and she’s a feminist, you’re not going to fix that. Books are not going to fix that. Yes, women will submit, but again, when they’re fucked up, it’s not fixable. That’s why so many fucked up women love socialism, Marxism, collectivism. And despite the brutal nature of leaving all the criminals on the street and people getting brutalized, they dismiss it, they minimize it and say everything’s fine.

All you got to do is look at all the stuff Trump said in the National Guard and all the woke mayors and people running the state going, “Oh, everything’s fine here.” And meanwhile you see the videos, people are, you know, just getting abused, crime running rampant. And they’re just “Oh, it’s just a one off.” Even though there’s lots of those.

After many discussions she said was open to having a child with me, but only under very specific conditions.

This woman is also very structured. We don’t date structured women. Case in point.

Everything had to be organic, including food and furniture.

Oh my God. Neuroticism.

She stated clearly that she would not be responsible for outdoor activities with the child.

So she’s not taking little Johnny to soccer practice or football practice, or baseball practice or jiu jitsu training. She’s not doing any of that. She won’t be taking him to the gun range either.

And that things like parks or soccer practice would be entirely on me. She also did not want birthday parties before age five and expected to continue frequent high-end travel even with a child.

Again, what’s this woman bringing to the table? She’s got a shitty attitude. She doesn’t make any money and she’s entitled. Because, again, dad didn’t raise her right. This has nothing to do with modern women. This has to do with trying to date a woman from a broken home where dad wasn’t around. You’re just not going to fix that.

While I tried to be open-minded, this left me feeling like we had very different visions of family life.

That’s an understatement.

The third major issue was a breach of trust.

Again, this is what happens when there’s no dad around to teach her or show her demonstrate a good relationship for her. She didn’t have that. This is, you know again why women like this want to marry the government. The dad wasn’t there. The government will take care of her.

A few months before our planned move, she called me late at night, drunk, crying, and said her married boss kissed her at a group work happy hour, confessed his love, promised her the business, forced his way into her Uber, followed her into her apartment, and kissed her again before she convinced him to leave. I reacted emotionally, but in the weeks that followed she minimized the situation, told me I was making a big deal out of it, and shut down in silence and deflected attempts to talk it through.

This is just totally the woke mind virus running rampant. The state took the place of daddy for her. Like so many other people left one. You know what’s interesting? About 80% of the population will do whatever authority they don’t have the capability to resist what authority tells them. If they say, put your mask on, they do it. If they say get your injected shot when it has been tested they’ll line up.

What’s interesting, only about 3% of the American colonists fought in, supported and financed the Revolutionary War. Most of the people were just fucking checked out. They didn’t want to be bothered. They were trying to live their lives. But as Samuel Adams said, “It only takes an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires of freedom in the minds of men.”

She expected me to move on from it quickly. I asked how she let him in her apartment and how disrespectful that was to me, silence from her.

She said the boss is Latin, and Latin men force themselves on people. 

Well, again, she put herself and she’s like, “Oh, it just happened to me.” Again if she was raised right and her dad raised her right she would have choked her boss out because he would have taught her self defense. But daddy wasn’t around.

Separately, I later learned that prior to my time with her, an ex-boyfriend, also Brazilian in LA, from an eight-year relationship had forced a kiss while she was in a separate relationship prior to me.

So there’s no boundaries at all. She’s just, “Oh, it just kind of happens. I have no control over it.”

That same ex remains in her life today, fixing sinks and appliances, dog-sitting, and being thanked with one-on-one dinners and drinks.

Yeah. This woman is community property. She’s not for a family, and she doesn’t even like kids. Why would you want a woman doesn’t want kids? It’s like she’d be a checked out mother. Would you even give a shit?

When I expressed discomfort with this, she called me insecure or started saying I need to remove girls from my Instagram followers.

Like what? No accountability. Because again, there was no dad.

I reached a boiling point and ended the relationship after a year with her. About a month later she reached out and said she missed me a ton and had a pit in her stomach not going away.

Well, she did it to herself. This is the only thing that will make women like this potentially go, “You know, maybe I was a little too harsh.” But again, she’s 40 years old, people don’t change. They become a better version of who they are, but they don’t change. You’re not going to undo her bad childhood or the fact her dad wasn’t there for her. You can have some fun. Practice safe sex, but you don’t wife up a collectivist.

I told her that the incident with her boss had broken my trust and wished her the best. She responded by saying I always blamed her for that incident.

Well, she let him in the car. She could have easily gotten out the other door and said, I’m not taking this Uber. But she let him in the car. She just lied about it. She didn’t resist it at all. Again, she says she responded by saying, “I always blamed her for that incident and that she had no choice in what happened.” Again, father’s not around to teach her accountability. Be a person of your word. She just lied and bullshitted her way through her life because she skated on her looks her whole life.

And that she had no choice in what happened. I’m now 40, Italian American, in decent shape, have a good job, and I’m dating and sleeping with other women while continuing to rebuild my life, including relocating to Miami.

There’s a lot of beautiful women down here, brother. A lot of younger, beautiful women and Latin women love older men. So quite frankly, I don’t know why you’re dating someone who’s 40 anyways, especially if you want to have a family. You should be dating a younger woman. Who loves her dad.

Still, I miss her and wonder if she still thinks about me and whether she will ever reach out again. It’s now been about four and a half months since the breakup, and silence, will she ever reach out to apologize?

Even if she does, she’d just be saying it. And then as soon as she thinks she’s got you again, she’ll just go right back to the same bullshit. Again, she’s got a long track record of doing this. Character is destiny. As Gerald Celente says from the Trends Research Institute, “Current events form future trends.”

Say she regrets what she did, and take full accountability for the boss incident?

No, because she’s hot and there’s ten other dudes behind you that will put up with this shit just to get a taste.

Did I do the right thing by ending this relationship?

Best,

Bob

Uh, yeah. Dude, you did a great job. You should pat yourself on the back. And thank you for sending this email in, because there’s lots of guys that are watching this that it’s going to save them a lot of trouble because they’re gonna be like, “Yep, I remember what happened with Bob there.” Again, that’s just not fixable. You take her back. Everything that turns you off about her, it’ll rear its ugly head. Her values didn’t change. She didn’t all of a sudden want to become a good mother. She doesn’t even give a fuck. So if you like kids and she doesn’t give a shit, and she’s just basically, “Hey, I’m a baby incubator.”

It’s like, no, you need a mom. You need a teammate who wants to be there, who wants to do these things for her, for her children. This chick belongs to the street. Let her stay in commiefornia and the collectivist shithole that it’s turning into. I mean, there are a lot of good, like Orange County. There are a lot of counties where there’s, you know, it’s conservative and well run. You don’t have all the bullshit that was going on in San Francisco and LA. But LA is getting cleaned up or has gotten cleaned up a lot in the last year, from what I’ve seen. But there you go.

I mean, that’s the right way to do it, dude. Again, don’t second guess yourself. You did the right thing. Because you’re not going to fix her. You’re not going to save her. You’re not going to undo the fact that dad wasn’t around. I mean, she’s 40 fucking years old. You should be dating women 10 to 15 years younger, at least. Family oriented girls that would never speak to stupidity that came out of her mouth. So she’s a leftist retard. Let her be with all the feminized men in commiefornia. And you can date the conservative women, because down here in South Florida, Miami, you have all the Latinas that got a, the Cubans and the Venezuelans and, uh, they got a taste of communism, Marxism, socialism.

And they fled from there. And so they hate fucking Marxists. So you’ll find a woman down here that will share your goals and values and hates communists as well. And Maduro is gone. And what a hell of a fucking, what a hell of an operation that they pulled off. So the US military general raising Cain and our great Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth. Finally, we have competent people running the military again. Everybody I know in the military, special operations guys, they all got fucking boners after what happened the other night. So I’m on Team America and I’m still on the Trump train. I know there’ll probably be some leftists going “ah”. Freaking out in the comments but I don’t fucking care.

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