Everyone has dating advice to offer, especially women, but whose dating advice should you really follow? It can be a confusing world to a man who is struggling to meet and date the kind of women he’s always wanted. A lot of women like to give men and their male friends dating advice, when these women don’t understand themselves what they really emotionally respond to, and are attracted to in men.
The typical response you get from a woman when you ask her what kind of a man does she want, is usually, “I want a man who wines me, dines me and buys me flowers.” However, when you ask her to tell you about, or describe the men she typically dates and gets into relationships with, more often than not, these men don’t do the things she says she wants a man to do. Here’s the only kind of dating advice you should follow. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, iPad, PC or Mac in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE.
I remember when I was in my 20s and still pretty clueless about women and what they really wanted in a man. I had lots of beautiful women who I was good friends with. I can’t ever remember one of them giving me any good advice that actually worked when I followed it. As a matter of fact, most of the time when I did what they told me to, the exact opposite happened. So as the years rolled by and my success never improved, I realized that these women either didn’t understand themselves or other women, or that they were simply giving me advice in order to protect my feelings in hopes that I would eventually figure it out. I therefore, stopped asking them for advice, and when they gave me advice I didn’t ask for, I simply didn’t listen to them. As my understanding and awareness grew, I learned to ask them to tell me about the guys they actually stayed with, dated and fell in love with. I realized that the type of men women said they wanted, was almost never the type of men they actually dated and fell in love with. Since women are emotional beings, they will give you advice with the intent of protecting your heart or feelings, instead of being bold, blunt and sometimes brutally honest.
When we look at the divorce rate being over 50%, and the fact that new marriages have been declining since the early 2000s, it’s obvious a lot of people are choosing to stay single instead of getting married. Serial monogamy without marriage is becoming more and more mainstream. Lots of men and women are choosing to raise their children as a single parent instead of being in relationships that aren’t what they feel they deserve. How many people do you know who are married and have been together a really long time… and… who are really still head over heels in love with one another? I can tell you from my work, that for most people, finding one great love of their life is elusive. Plus, with women’s liberation and the fact that women no longer need men to support them, the need to be married to a man who is a provider and father figure for their children, has mostly disappeared. Women more than ever are happily raising their children as a single parent, and simply enjoying being single in between the end of one relationship, and the beginning of a new one. Many successful women and men who want to become a parent, are simply adopting children or having children on their own instead of, waiting to meet Mr. or Mrs. right. It is obvious that more often than not, people are getting married, just like I did in my mid-20s, not because it’s what their heart tells them to do, but what they think they should do, or that society thinks they should do.
I remember before I got engaged to my first wife, I was talking to many women I was friends with who were happily married (or so I thought), and all of them encouraged me to take the plunge. Unfortunately, I didn’t listen to my heart, but instead listened to others and what I thought I should do. It’s funny, people who are married, think everyone who is single should get married too. People who are single, encourage their friends who are unhappily married or in relationships that are not ideal, to get divorced and be single like them. Why? It’s human nature. When we convince others to be more like us, it makes us feel better about our choices and reinforces our belief (good or bad) that we have made the right decision. As they say, misery loves company. Most human beings tend to have a herd mentality, and simply follow what most everyone else is doing, instead of listening to their own hearts.
So who’s advice should you listen to? As a wise man once said, “listen to many voices, but speak with your own.” If you want to learn how to stay married to the same person your whole life and be happy, seek advice from married couples who have been together for decades… and… who are happy and still totally in love. Most people are living lives of quiet desperation. They may be overweight, hate their jobs, hate their spouses, hate their lives, hate themselves, etc., but bullshit themselves into believing they are not. As Dostoevsky said, “a man who lies to himself and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth either in himself or anyone else.” To put it simply, follow people who are already getting the results in their own lives that you want to get in your life. Love your family, but choose your peers. You are who you associate with. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the people that you consistently spend your time with. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the expectations of your peer group. That’s something to think about!
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Lead a life of your own design, on your own terms—not one that others, or the environment have scripted for you.” – Anthony Robbins