Help Getting Her Back

May 24, 2012 by Coach Corey Wayne

How to know when you have a chance at getting a woman back who rejected you & when you don’t. Sometimes I find it sad when I read e-mails from guys who write me about women who blew them off after they spent a year or two of their lives holding out hope that the women they love, will start to love them or want them back into their lives. However, then I don’t feel so bad when I read e-mails from guys like the one I’m about to share with you. Some guys have bought into the media illusion that if they like a woman enough, eventually she will start to feel the same way. The reason I don’t feel so bad is because some of these guys are so dense and it is so obvious that they don’t have a chance at all with the women they are writing me about. A few of these guys have so totally and completely deluded and bullshitted themselves into believing they’ve got a chance when they don’t, that even I am sometimes unable to talk any sense into them. Some people just need to crash and burn before they will change their ways and let go of things, people and limiting beliefs that no longer serve them. I can only help people who are willing to help themselves. The following is an e-mail from a guy who is ignoring reality and what is easily obvious to you and I. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Hi,

I have a female friend for 2 years. Just one year back, I fell in love with her. She was telling me we are friends only. We can’t be more than friends. Now recently she started acting distant from me by ignoring my calls, texts, etc. When I asked her why, she told me when we were friends it was all ok, “until you changed this and messed things all up.” I asked her why she didn’t act like this before? Why now after 1 year she said, “I tried to be friends with you, but you expecting and waiting for me, I can’t to it anymore.” She said, “I will not hang out with you.” If we come face to face we will say hi. (Translation: “You acted needy and clingy. I feel like you are suffocating me. You hovering around me and waiting on me to fall in love with you is outrageous because I am never going to date you, or feel that way about you. I’m removing you from my life because you are creeping me out!) I really feel lost. I lost my good friend and the woman I love. I need help in getting her back if it’s possible. (Dude, she’s not into you. She was never into you. You can not will a woman into liking you when she does not; no matter how much you like her. You can’t ignore the fact she does not want to be anything other than friends with you to the point that it makes her change her mind. You are ignoring reality. You projected your high interest onto a woman you had no chance with. Women make it obvious when they like you. You need to read my book and start meeting and dating other women you actually have a chance with. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)

Josh

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“What is permissible is not always honorable.” ~ Cicero

Published on May 24, 2012

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hey Corey,

    In your experience, if a woman is above the 50% level in interest, what percentage of women who dump us actually come back?

    Thanks for your work, brother. It’s helped me get through a tough time.

    AR

  2. Hi Coach,

    I recently stumbled onto your work while searching on youtube for ways to get my girlfriend back. After watching a few of your videos, I realized that I had been pursuing her too much and smothering her. She had been going through a lot of personal problems and I, trying to be the “good caring boyfriend” was contacting her 2-3 times a week to check up on her. On the last day that I saw her, I had to pressure her into going out with me. We had planned previously to hang out and she cancelled at the last moment. But I talked her into finally giving in and seeing me. When I picked her up, her very first words to me were “we need to break up”. She explained that with everything going on in her life currently, she just couldn’t handle a relationship even though she loved me. Well I somehow managed to still get her into bed but somewhere in there she threw in a “this is the last time” as well as an “i love you”. I dropped her off the next morning and neither of us said anything. At the last moment, she turned to me and said “say something”. My response was “what’s there to say. I love you and don’t want to break up with you but you’ve obviously made up your mind”. And then she did the “you can still be my friend” line. To which I replied, “no,I can’t.”
    That’s when I started looking into techniques to get her back. And discovered the No Contact rule and your work as well. And I’ve been applying the no contact rule. Recently she’s texted me saying she misses me and after watching your videos, I set a date for 2 weeks out. And did not reach out to her again. A week later she sent me another text to see how I was. I kept it short bit made her laugh and said “i have to go but I’ll see you this Saturday” which is when our date was scheduled. Her reply confused the absolute hell out of me as she said, “Sorry can’t. You need to find another girl.” I just said, “yeah you’re right” and said good bye. She ended with “don’t date mexican girls, we are crazy. Bye and Sweet dreams”. I’m so confused right now, I’m hoping you can shed some light on the matter. It’s been 10 days since that conversation and neither one of us has texted the other. Her birthday is coming up in 3 days and I’m thinking of texting her happy birthday. What’s your opinion on this subject coach? Is she crazy? Or am I crazy for still wanting her?

  3. Yo Corey I’m going to make this short before I explain, I dig your stuff on YouTube so I’m in the process of getting the book.
    So here I go, I was dating this married women because her husband wasn’t taking care of his business so she gave me a shot and everything was cool but like a sucker, I allowed my feelings to get involved to a point i wasn’t going out due to I didn’t lose what she was doing for me (giving me money, sex, and good head even swallowed lol) and I started acting like I fuckin fool and a bitch smh but it got to a point that I said no more and told her I want to end this shit and make myself available and I have been going out and having a ball but I still want to fuck her until I hook up again
    How should I play it thanks

  4. Hi coach,

    My name is rae and Im a singaporean.
    Me and my ex had a relationship of of close to 4 years whilst studying in university. and today is graduation day.
    I got dumped by my ex about 2 months ago, it was one of those fights which escalated into a bad decision to break up.
    We had cold war for about 2 or 3 days, then I asked to get back together again. She didn’t want to, and asked to be friends.
    And after watching countless relationship advice videos and visiting websites. I did all the wrong things a guy could have done.
    I was needy before, and still am post break up when i asked her to get back together.
    She only wanted me as a friend now, but I told her otherwise.

    Since the breakup our relationship as friends has been going downhill.
    We’ve had sex once, and met thrice on weekends.
    I have not initiated No contact. or at least tried and failed 3 days into it.
    By this time her feelings for me were long gone (according to her) when previously there was still some physical attraction, not emotional attraction.

    We were both busy with work or trying to find work. We hardly text at all, and even if she did text me back, she always said she was tired, replied with only one or two words.
    It was hard to engage her to be excited again until about a few days ago when I started flirting with her again.
    I could tell she liked the attention, and sometimes would flirt back. She usually just laughs and replies emoticons.

    Recently, I ruined the fun flirty atmosphere I created again by asking her if she needed me in her life.
    To which, she replied she doesn’t know.
    Recently, she’s only responding to my ex when I initiate contact with her.
    I have set a definite date with her, we had a gd conversation for a day or two.
    Then suddenly, she stopped texting me
    I don’t understand what is going on.
    How do I get her to flirt back? Or get her interested in me again?

    It’ll be great if you could lend me some advice.
    Much appreciated,

  5. hi. m trying to get back with ex-girlfriend she react out to flirting with every time when sit down in lunch. i tried to make defined date but she keep cancels and stared to change her mind saying “i called you” i tell she still interested me by calling me babe and to walk with at the store. one day she ask me to call her when i get home which i did and blow me off after she say called you back when i get out of the shower then never did. how can i get her to go out a date with me?

  6. Hey Corey what’s goin on man…your videos are pretty powerful cause reality check its teaching me the fucking truth dead on …if u keep texting and trying to get her to give u another chance eventually they will cut u out of their life …me and my ex girlfriend we just broke up last week and it was very hard for her to do she said those 4 words u never wanna fucking hear before we broke up. We need to talk when she got off of work I met up with her at the bar and as soon as I walked in she started crying and saying how hard this is gonna be …I didn’t read much into it cause lets face it women are mysterious creatures they either say they love u and mean it or they say I love u and don’t….but I really thought not with her she really does because 1 her daughter is 5 and calls me stepdad and tells her to tell me goodnight xoxo I love u Brandon everynight before she goes to bed ….and logically I thought hmm that’s ur biggest answer right their because a real woman would never ever hurt their child by doing that making them feel attached to the man their mother is in love with as well and having them look at u as a father figure in their life and leave a precious little girl confused and hurt for no reason …so I gave my love n all to her without a care in the world…and then 1 year later the we need to talk came in to play….so were sitting their at the bar and she says I love u with all my heart I’m just not in love with u anymore..I need a break ur 29 bout to be 30 lost two jobs in two months and are just now starting a new one …I’m watching 4 kids and then at 4 dropping them all off at my moms and goin straight to work who stress her out more than anything and on top of her working is still not making enough money on her end of bills and having to boorrow money from family and its so stressful she said I’m so sorry but we can’t live like this…and we need to break up u need to get a dependable stable job and keep it and focus on you…..could not stop crying gave me a hug and walked out…I tried making her stop and rethink things over and tell her we can get thru this I love you and ur daughter completely and kno we can make this work …and it return waited like a wadded crumbled tampon with the phone next to me like a bitch staring at it waiting for a response…I received no text no phoneccall and still nothing no hi …wyd …how are u…not even a simple boring text …but….lets back up a lil bit …I was in a bad relationship with a previous x girl …who I moved out to Vegas with and we were together off n on 5 years who afternumerous amount of fights I fell out of love with and told her I’m done she stabbed me wit a steak knife in my leg while I was trying to pack n I wa so furious. I left my massage therapist degree school stuff table n chair behind jumped right on a plane n came back to my home in Oklahoma a week later she said paybacks a bitch I Burned ur stuff everything so since she was thousands of miles away to where I couldn’t whoop some serious ass lol I don’t hit women whatsoever don’t worry form of expression lol ne way I let my career go n said fuck it I’m fucked ……now…..tell me why the day after….the day fuckin after my x breaks up wit me my previous x shows up out of no where wit her boyfriend at a friend of mines house while watching the Ou football game and I shit u not has all my school stuff right back to me. Isn’t that amazing so now its. Only been 2 weeks dice Kayla and I broke up and now I have my degree back..a great fuckin job because of it …my own ussiness and place everything has been a blessed miracle so I send her a text pick with me holding my licence and telling her everything good goin on and after all the no texts no calls ..after I sent that pic she said good for u Brandon and that’s the only thing I’ve gotten back from her since we broke up ….now. all her rriendstell me the same thing she loves me but is not in love anymore and is crushed by it …so my question is this Im a smart feller if she loves me enough to love me but jot be in love with me then I know I have a good chance of getting her back. But if I just cold Turkey stop texting n calling like she wants even thou she hasn’t said that ..then when do I text her so she doesn’t forget about me for good I don’t want to lose her for good by doing that so whens a good time to text her

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