How to stay focused on your work when you are emotionally consumed by a woman you desire. Have you ever become so emotionally wrapped up in a woman you just met or who you just started dating and you feel yourself become so overwhelmed with good emotions and infatuation, that you can’t even concentrate on work or things you needed to get done? If you have then you also know that it seems like you can’t ever get this person off of your mind no matter where you go or what you do. It really sucks to feel those feelings, but to not be able to be with the woman you are infatuated with.
The following is an e-mail from a reader who I assume comes from a society that is big into arranged marriages. As the old customs are fading away and giving rise to our new modern reality of dating and relationships in countries that have been traditionally ultraconservative, guys are struggling to make the transition from arranged marriages to finding women on their own. The following is an e-mail from a guy who has already proposed marriage before he has even had a date to one of his former female coworkers. Proposing marriage is usually not a good place to start from before you have even had your first date! With arranged marriages, the adults usually made sure they chose partners for their children who would also be a good personality match for each other. Being objective about a mate should have taken the place of his parents objectivity, but unfortunately he is being run by, and blinded by his emotions and high interest. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Hi there, I am requesting your help to guide me in my relationship problems. I am in the final year of being a student pursuing professional studies. I liked a girl in my office, but I could not tell her because she has someone in her life. After three years I could dare to propose to her. (That is insane! You have to date and spend a lot of time with women before you decide you want to marry them. The feeling must be mutual. You must date women who really like you and who make the effort to win you also! You never get hung up on a woman emotionally until she has earned it thru her actions!) Now she is telling me that she just liked that guy and she was not in a relationship with him. She is confused between me and that other guy. She wants me to be her friend only, and not more than a friend. (When a woman says that, you simply walk away and tell her to call you if she changes her mind because you’re not interested in friendship only. Men who are a catch do not sit around pinning after women who don’t like them.) I am feeling upset and unable to concentrate on my work. (You need to get over it because this girl is not interested in you!)
She left the job recently. She seems to be a flirting kind of girl. I proposed to her for marriage, but she is not saying YES or NO. (Her response was no dude. You’re bullshitting yourself. She said she was interested in friends only, but you ignore that like it means nothing. Therefore, you suffer. It’s time to move on.) I want to end all of this. Should I break contact with her permanently?? (Yes, stop chasing her. Why? Chasing women guarantees rejection.) Would it help me?? Is she sincere with me?? Am I wrong?? Please guide me in this. (Walk away and never contact her again. If she contacts you, set a time to meet up for drinks. Set a definite date. In the meantime, get busy reading my book and practicing what I teach on other women so you can improve your skills. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
Much obliged. Thanks and Regards,
“When we want things to be other than they are or we want women to love us who do not, we suffer. The only thing you can do is to let go of your desire, authentically feel your pain of loss so you can heal, and move on with other women. If you do not, what you resist will persist. What you refuse to accept or feel will cause you tremendous suffering and emotional pain!” ~ Corey Wayne