Some things you should consider if your high body count girlfriend wants to marry.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a thirty-four year old guy who has been in a relationship with his thirty-year old girlfriend for two years. She wants to marry him, and they have been living together for a year with no problems. She has a body count in the fifties and went through a self-described “hoe” phase in her early twenties when she was slender and single. She is beautiful but a little overweight.
He caught her in a small lie about something that happened right when they met and became exclusive two years ago and wonders if she is trustworthy or not for marriage. He is not bothered by her high body count. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
You want to make an informed, intelligent decision, and you need data, time and experience to make a decision, because everything is not so black and white. Everybody’s a little different.
Everything that happens in life, we decide what it means to us. People that come from broken homes can make the choice to resolve to be a good person. And there’s people, people I know personally, they came from good homes and had every advantage, and they became total fuck-ups in their lives.
I had a good friend that came from a really great family, and he was an alcoholic train wreck, and a liar and a dirtbag. He had every advantage, and he’s in jail, still. He ended up killing a couple of people because he got drunk and drove home one night, and he had been in and out of rehab a bunch of times.
He got out of jail, and he wasn’t out of jail for very long, and then he was back in. As far as I know, he’s still there, and the guy has spent the last 10, 15 years there. There’s always exceptions to the rule, and so you have to judge people based on their actions.
I hope you are doing great. Thanks for all your videos and book. You are a life changing person. My name is Bob, (I am 34yr), and my girlfriend is 30. I consider myself an alpha male, I take care of my body (Gym), eat well and dress sharp every time the occasion needs it. I live in a big city on the east coast and work in a big corporate firm, (dream job!).
We have been together for almost 2 years now. After one year of dating, we decided to live together. Everything has been so natural, and the relationship is strong. She is beautiful, independent and outgoing. Since I have met her, I have followed all the steps from your book, and now she wants to get married. So far, so good.
From time to time when we have drinks, we get tipsy and she opens herself to me, (past experiences). I follow your book; I sit there and listen, no judgments.
Women want to feel heard and understood. And at the end of the day, if you’re dating and trying to determine what a person is really like and what their character is like, and they get a couple of drinks in them and they want to start talking, “Tell me more. Really? Oh, hmm.” Get them to talk, because they can tell you everything you need to know. That gives you data for your analysis, so you can determine whether or not this is somebody you want to marry.
She is a former hottie that used to be fit and skinny in her early 20’s. One time, she told me that in her early 20’s she had a “hoe phase.” She used to go clubbing every single weekend, dated promoters and slept around. Also, she had multiple dates with random guys using dating apps. She told me that her body count is in the 50’s.
Ooh, pretty high. I know what the red pill community would say about that. “She’s out. No way. She belongs to the streets!” Maybe, maybe not. You can’t say with 100% certainty, but there’s a good chance of that. And the reality is, I think it was Jordan Peterson discussed there are studies that have been done. Women who are more promiscuous have a hard time staying faithful and staying loyal.
So, to give you an example from my own life, one of my girlfriends, she came from a very strong family and her parents absolutely adore and dote on one another. She was one of the best girlfriends I ever had in my life — kind, sweet, easygoing, easy to get along with, and she did not sleep around.
She had a handful of one night stands, but especially now, as she’s gotten older, she only sleeps with a guy if they’re exclusive, and she sticks to that. And I really respect the fact that she’s got integrity. She had a handful of one night stands when she was younger, but other than that, it’s only been with her boyfriends. And that’s extremely rare.
She even had a guy that wanted to date other women but wanted to keep dating her, and she stopped sleeping with him and had the self-control to not give it up for him unless he was going to be exclusive with her. That’s pretty strong, because most women wouldn’t be able to resist that. It just shows her character and her level of integrity. And you’re going to meet very, very few people, especially women, that are like that.
At the beginning, all that information affected me a little bit, but I was able to control my emotions. Now, every time she wants to tell me something, I listen and understand that everyone has a past and it’s not my business. Only the present matters, (her actions in the present are important to me).
I agree with that.
She is loyal to me. I said that because every time a guy hit on her she tells me.
That’s really super important. That’s something nobody I’ve ever seen talks about in the red pill community. They don’t talk about things like this. But the reality is, when a woman is in love with you and she trusts you, and you’re her rock and her mountain, she’s going to tell you about these things.
If you don’t lose your shit and turn into a lunatic, and become totally perturbed, she’ll tell you about every single guy that comes up to her, and hits on her, and tries to get her number, because she wants you to know what’s going on. And she does this because she feels safe and comfortable with you, and she wants you to know that she’s being loyal.
Now, when women stop doing that, that’s when you have to worry. And so, it’s a credit to this particular guy that he is applying properly what he’s learned in “How To Be A 3% Man.” And it’s because he’s consistently masculine and unperturbable that she’s just verbally vomiting up everything about her past. And this is great, because it helps him to make an informed decision on whether or not he’s going to make the exception to go ahead and marry a woman with a high body count.
Like I said, I know what the red pill community is going to say about it, and it’s totally justifiable, but every person is different. We don’t know what we don’t know. That’s why you date. It’s like test driving a car. And she may ultimately not be marriage material. We don’t know yet. They’ve only been together for two years and living together for one year.
For instance, one time a guy texted her via Instagram, but she blocked him immediately. She constantly says that she wants to get married, (almost every day). I love her, but I am not ready.
Well, that’s the important thing. You’re not ready, and therefore, you don’t get married because she’s telling you every day she wants to marry you. You only do it when you feel ready. You must trust your intuition. You must trust your heart. And that’s something that I did not do when I was in my mid-twenties and married my ex-wife. I didn’t listen to my intuition. I didn’t feel strong enough to do that.
I had a lot of people put guilt trips on me. And we had a great relationship. We got along really well, but it didn’t feel right. And quite frankly, I didn’t have enough experience in relationships at the time to make the determination to stay with her for my whole life or not. There was something calling me over the horizon, because I’m just different from most people.
I look at the world completely differently. I have different spiritual beliefs than most people, I’ve talked about this many times, and my path is different from most people. And if my path wasn’t the way it is, I wouldn’t even be doing what I’m doing now, and you wouldn’t be watching this video. I would have never written this bestselling book that’s helped millions of people all over the world.
The only “but” is that the day after we got serious, (this is from two years ago), she went to a club to dance, (with mutual friends), a guy hit on her, but nothing happened. Funny history is that two years later, she told me the same story, but she said that she gave him her number.
Ahh, interesting. This is why you date, and this is why you make a woman feel safe and comfortable, because the truth is going to come out. If you’re controlling and you’re perturbable, you’re never going to get this intel. That’s why anybody that knows anything about interrogation or anybody in law enforcement knows you try to make them feel like you’re their friend. And then they tell you everything, because they’re talking to a buddy and a pal, a confidante.
She told me that the next day she blocked him, and nothing happened. A small lie, I guess she didn’t want to ruin the two-year relationship?
Fun fact, she is not fit anymore, a little bit overweight, but she is so beautiful that she still gets the attention from other men. But based on her present actions, she is loyal. She says that I am the best boyfriend she has ever had.
Well, obviously you got the cheat codes in “How To Be A 3% Man.” And quite frankly, you’ll probably be the best boyfriend she will ever have.
I have read and listened to different people and articles and their conclusion is that high body count women are not wife material. Is that correct?
I’d say that’s probably 98-99% accurate. But again, you need to be able to make an informed decision. So, you have one piece of evidence. Was it really a lie, or did she just not tell you all the details? Now that she feels safe and comfortable, now she’s letting you know the rest of the details.
But the bottom line, the day after you become exclusive, she gave her number out to somebody else. Was it because she was drunk? Was it because the relationship was still new, and she had doubts that it was going to work out? I mean, at the end of the day, she did what she did. Those were her actions. But anything other than that, it’s like, there’s no evidence of anything else.
I appreciate your time Corey, thanks again for all your effort and wise knowledge!
So, here’s something else that you should consider. She’s already gaining weight and getting out of shape, and quite frankly, 74% of all Americans are either overweight or obese. As people get into their late twenties, this is what happens. They don’t exercise, they don’t work out, and they just let themselves go, especially when they get married.
So, if your girlfriend is already gaining weight, and now she’s thirty and she wants to get married, what happens after you have a few kids? Is she going to lose the baby weight, or she’s just going to be like, “Eh.” So, if it was me, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?
Because I’m not a fan of involving the government in your relationship at all. Me personally, I will probably never get married again. I have no desire to. It’s just completely unnecessary. Marriage is not required to have great relationships. That’s a fact of life. But you can do with that whatever you want. I know there’s people that are like, “You’ve got to get married. I’m religious.” Whatever. Whatever floats your boat, I don’t care. Live your truth. I’m going to live mine.
But if it was me in this situation, what I would want to see from her is I would want to see her love and value herself enough, because you work out and you take care of yourself, and she’s letting herself go. So, I would encourage her to get fit, to get in shape, take her to the gym with you, eat together, work out together and see that she’s going to take care of herself. Because if she won’t take care of herself when you guys are just dating, she’s probably going to let herself go even more when you’re married.
And here’s the other caveat. If she gets in great shape with you and then really looks hot, like she did when she was slender in her early twenties, she’s going to get more attention from men. That is a fact of life. And when she slims down and starts getting more attention from men, what happens then? Does she start giving out her number? Do you start noticing inconsistencies in her story? If it was me and I was in your shoes, I’d want to see her get in shape and look really super hot, hotter than she’s ever looked since you’ve been with her, and see what she does with that.
I would give it a couple more years and see what happens. If you really want to have kids now, there’s no reason you can’t have a child and co-parent together, even if it doesn’t work out. If two people love each other and they want to raise kids together, I mean, the reality is half the people that get married and have children don’t stay together. Those are the numbers, those are the stats. And I have lots of people I know that are able to co-parent with their spouses and have pretty good relationships, even good relationships with each others’ new spouses or girlfriends or boyfriends. So, it’s possible. It all depends on the character and the integrity level of the people that are involved.
But like I said, if it was me, I’d want to see her get in shape and take care of herself, and I wouldn’t be getting married. If she just wants to get married to have kids, then have a kid together in a couple of years if she takes care of herself. Because if you have a kid and you’re not married, and then she lets herself go, unless you live in Commie-fornia or some of the other states where the laws are completely slanted in women’s favor, then I would not. But if you live in the free state of Florida like I do, and you have a child together and you’re not married, you’re going to co-parent. You want the best for the child without having to go through nasty divorces or anything like that.
So, as far as the marriage type of thing, I would wait to get married, but if you’re ready to have kids or you want to have kids, I’d say maybe a year or two from now. Because, you know, her clock is ticking. The older she gets, the harder it’s going to be for her to conceive and have a healthy child, especially if she’s overweight. So, that’s what I would do if I were you.
The marriage thing, making it official, that would be one of the last things. Maybe after you’ve had your kids, and things are great, and she stays in shape, loses the baby weight, and she’s a great teammate and a great partner, if it makes financial sense. I mean, what’s the downside risk to getting married? How is it going to improve your relationship? You know, if one of you gets hit by a bus, then you get each other’s assets when you die? I mean, that’s really the only reason that you’re going to need that. Because you don’t have to be married to have a great relationship and have kids.
But I’d want to see her take care of herself and lose weight. Because women like this, as soon as they have a couple of kids, they don’t lose the baby weight, they just keep getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger. And then you try to leave them, because they’re disgusting and they don’t take care of themselves, and now you’ve got to go through a nasty divorce. So, always know your downside risk in any deal. And that’s how I would approach this situation if I were you.
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“When it comes to selecting a partner for long term relationships, people who are very promiscuous and have slept with more than fifty people tend to value themselves less and are not as trustworthy as those who are very selective and only sleep with a handful of people. However, the real determinant of a romantic prospect’s ability to be faithful and loyal is their values, goals and actions. People raised in broken homes with lots of lying and cheating tend to also be liars and cheaters, versus those raised in stable homes based upon loyalty and family. However, it’s a person’s belief system that really matters. Some people from broken homes will often resolve to not be like their parents because of the pain they experienced growing up. Others who come from good homes and families can also adopt a bad belief system that causes them to be disloyal and untrustworthy. We should always give others the benefit of the doubt and judge them based upon their actions, not who they claim to be or want to be.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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