How A Random Night Out Turned Into My Best Relationship Ever

How a random night out can turn into your best relationship ever.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a viewer who met a hot female bartender only a few weeks after breaking up with his girlfriend who wasn’t a great fit for him. He got her number and had a great first date. She asked him when she’d see him again after she got home, so he set a second date that ended in the Indoor Olympics.

They’ve been together for about a year now and it’s the best relationship he’s ever had. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well, I got a nice little short success story about a guy who went out just going out to have a good time with his buddies. He ends up meeting this hot female bartender, and he does a really good job bantering with her, being playful and teasing her, and he’s really smooth about how he goes and gets her phone number. She seemed really excited to go out with him. Obviously she liked him.

Remember, attraction is not a choice. Obviously, if you read the book, then you know that’s just how women are. Mother nature has already taken care of that. What’s interesting is we tend to be attracted to people who have the same facial structure as ourself. Look at the eyes, the spacing of the eyes, the shape of the eyes and the nose compared to people side by side. It’s pretty interesting when you look at it from that perspective.

I was looking at a picture of Dua Lipa, I think as you say it, the singer from the UK, was just absolutely gorgeous, her and her fiance. When you look at the two of them side by side, their nose, their eyes, the shape of their eyes, their spacing, it’s literally identical, and you can have fun with that. Looking at celebrities and famous people that are married, they’ve gotten married or they’re couples. It’s really interesting when you look at that, the shape of the eyes, how the spacing is between the eyes, the shape of the nose, it looks pretty close.

So just remember, when you’re really super attracted to somebody, more often than not, they’re usually attracted to you. Not in all cases, but oftentimes you’re going to be most attracted to people who have the same facial structure and vice versa. Attraction is not a choice. So it’s just a really good short email to inspire you guys and to learn some of the the comebacks that this guy had.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I wanted to share a success story. I’ve read your book twice, so I’m no expert…

Come on, bro! 10 to 15 times. You’re going to really need that relationship wisdom. Obviously you’re charming and you got a good personality, but guys like you get into trouble when you be together for a long time and you didn’t take the time to learn the relationship wisdom, things get a little squirrely because you need those things. Guys, more often than not, will read the book to learn the pickup and the dating stuff, and then you don’t learn the relationship stuff because they’re getting laid so much and they just think, “Hey, this is great! I mastered the book. Easy! I just read it twice. No big deal.” So just keep that in mind.

…But it’s already changed my life. As an introvert who’s never enjoyed small talk, your advice was a game-changer.

I live in Budapest, Hungary.

Hungary is great! I’ve been there. It’s fucking beautiful. The girls are beautiful. They walk everywhere. Last time I was there, it’s like they’re all fit and in shape because they walk everywhere.

Last summer, I broke up with a great girl who just wasn’t the right fit. Tough call, but as Tony Robbins says, “If you’re not willing to settle for less than the best, most often this is what you’ll get.”

A few weeks later, I went to a club. One of the bartenders, let’s call her Ashley, had this great, playful energy. The first time I got a beer, I asked her name. The second time, she was glued to her phone. When she finally looked up, I just held her gaze and smiled for a few seconds before teasing, “It’s late, Ashley, and you’re still keeping your friend from sleeping?” She laughed.

Later, a guy struck up a conversation with me about the music, clearly with other intentions. So after a while I said to him, “Let me get you a drink…” Back at the bar, I grinned at Ashley and said, “Look, I’ve even made a friend who apparently likes me.” She looked at him and burst out laughing.

So I guess maybe this guy was hitting on him. He thought he was gay and had a chance with his dude. See? It’s like something like that. The average guy might get really insecure and be worried that the girl might think he’s gay, where instead, he’s making a joke about it, “Like, can you believe this?” So that shows that he’s confident, he’s calm, he’s cool, he’s collected, doesn’t take himself too seriously, and he’s amused at the whole situation. It’s like the Rumi quote that I love: “Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.”

After a couple of hours, I decided to leave on a high note. As I approached her, she was already watching me. “Another beer?” She asked. I smiled, “No, but you’ve been the coolest person here. Give me your number before I go.”

Just like that. He just handed her the phone.

She dialed it in and said, “Only for parties or hanging out…” I smiled, “Of course! What else?”

In other words, “I want to have a good time and hang out.”

The next day, I wanted to call her right away but resisted.

Gotta build that anticipation because it’s clear she really likes him, and if you wait a few days, then she starts to wonder, “Is that guy going to call me? Is he rejecting me?”

A few days later, I called —No texts, no Instagram— and asked her out. She surprised me by saying, “I’m free tonight!”

Obviously she wanted to see him.

I was tempted, but made her wait until later that week. Torture. We connected on Facebook, but I kept messaging to a minimum.

When we finally met, she was even more amazing — Smart, talkative, glowing. I asked plenty of questions, teased her a little, and talked about myself only when relevant.

So you can tell this guy’s got a great personality, even though he’s an introvert. The quietest people have the most to say. Less really is more when it comes to the ladies. Even when you’re an introvert, what did he say to her? He said a couple smart ass comebacks. He had some humor at his experience, because it looks like a gay guy came and hit on him and he let her know about all this, and she laughed.

At the next place, I started touching her arm and hair casually. She could barely hide her reaction.

After a few hours, I invited her for wine at my place. She declined, smiling. As we got up to leave, she started walking away, but I stood still and signaled her back with my fingers. She came over like she was pulled by strings, and I kissed her. She loved it. “Why here?” She asked. “Because it’s warmer than outside…”

Or you could have said, “Well, it’s warmer in here, and I don’t want my nipples getting hard and showing through my shirt, because remember the last time that happened, some dude came up and hit on me.”

I called her a taxi and made sure she got home safe. As soon as she did, she texted, asking when we’d meet again.

So normally under normal circumstances, like the book says, one date per week. However, if she brings up another date, like in this particular case, she texted him that night and she says, “When am I going to see you again?” Basically. So it’s her idea. So it’s OK to make another date, even though you just had your first date on that same day.

These are the little subtle nuances that you pick up when you go through the book 10 to 15 times, but obviously this guy’s smart. He’s smooth. He’s been a pretty good student, even though he’s only read it twice. Even though that’s not what I recommend, because with most guys, like the previous video newsletter, the dude had read it six times and the way he was behaving, it’s almost like he read it no times.

I told her to bring a bottle of wine in three days so we could cook together. Let’s just say cooking wasn’t the main event.

Naughty! You’re a naughty man! I’m going to tell your mother!

Now we’ve been together almost a year, and she’s the best girlfriend I’ve ever had — Smart, loving, cheerful, respectful, grateful, curious, creative— And our “Indoor Olympics” are in a league of their own.

Thanks, Corey. Wishing you the best.

Bob

Well Bob, thanks for the success story and man, you did great! You’re really fucking smooth. So congratulations! Congratulations on your one year or almost one year together. Hopefully you’ll have many more happy years and happy endings with her.

If you haven’t already signed up for our exclusive premium Members Only content, in the video description of this video, there are links to join on YouTube, to join on Spotify or our website UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just click the “plans” tab when you get there. The good news is with our website, if you do the 7-day free trial and choose an annual plan, you’ll get a 25% discount at the end of the 7-day free trial for paying the whole year’s premium upfront. So go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the “plans” tab, and sign up for a free trial.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.