How Being Clear On What I Wanted Got Me The Woman Of My Dreams

How to get clear on what you really want to attract the woman of your dreams.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a viewer detailing how getting clear about what he wanted enabled him to attract the woman of his dreams. He originally found my work while trying to get his ex back. I discussed a previous email of his in the video newsletter, “Could I Have Prevented The Breakup?”

He was too emotionally invested to follow 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and she got serious with another guy. Afterwards, he finally committed to the process of mastering 3% Man and attracted the woman of his dreams. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This is a success story. I also did a video newsletter a while back from this particular viewer because he, like a lot of guys, found me. He originally found my work because he was trying to get his ex back. You’ll see as we go through the email, he was emotionally invested, had a real hard time following 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and really didn’t follow it. Then his ex-girlfriend ended up saying, “Hey, I met somebody else,” and she got serious with that guy and rode off into the sunset, which really stung bad, but because of that pain, he really committed to getting this part of his life handled once and for all and really learning the principles that I teach in 3% Man.

He shares everything he went through, everything he learned and how he now attracted the woman of his dreams. It’s a real good email because with anything, whether it’s relationships, a career, starting a business, getting the body that you want or stuff, cars, houses, whatever jewelry, whatever it is that you want, you always got to start out what it is that you want. You got to know what you want. Then in order to get it, you got to have mostly compelling reasons why you want what you want, because it’s the emotionally compelling reasons that are the fuel that that fuels you from the inside, from your core and helps you keep moving forward even when success looks like it’s way off in the future or what oftentimes is the case, it just looks like it’s impossible and it’s never going to work out until eventually on a big enough long enough timeline, it does work out. So you got to always, no matter what’s going on in your life, you have to persist without exception.

You got to have a goal. You got to have a vision for your life, your personal life. You got to have emotional compelling reasons why you want it, because the emotionally compelling reasons are where they’re going to help you continue to take action and continue to move forward when it looks like it’s just not going to work out, when it looks like I’m not getting anywhere, I’m just spinning my wheels. Success is long and coming, and a lot of times it just feels like you’re going millimeter by millimeter, inch by inch, and things are going to take forever as time is going to pass no matter what. So you might as well apply yourself at things you’re passionate about, and goals and visions for your life that you’re really excited and enthusiastic about accomplishing. So with that in mind, let’s go through his email and see how his journey unfolded.

Viewer Email:

Hello Coach,

I just wanted to say thank you for being awesome. You are truly a man of the people. This is a continuation of your video, “Could I Have Prevented the Breakup?” I was the guy whose ex started a huge scene on the plane during a holiday and then left me because she felt I didn’t protect or understand her. I forced her to break up with me, which I soon regretted. I was heartbroken.

While studying your work, I met up with my ex, but I foolishly ignored the 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and reached out months later. She agreed to meet up, only to tell me she had a new man who understands her and makes her happy. It ruined me.

Success is the best revenge. So she met you to basically say, “Hey, I found somebody else and he treats me great,” until he doesn’t. If he’s trying to get her back, he’s the one that got dumped, or as he said, caused a breakup, and then later regretted it, it was too far gone because again, as he said, he didn’t really follow 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. He doesn’t elaborate on what he did or didn’t do in that part, but the bottom line is he says he didn’t follow it.

So, I knew I had to do the work. I’ve read your book more than 10 times now. I made a lot of mistakes during those reads but finally learned the material.

One tip you give in your book, which worked incredibly well, is making a list of everything I wanted and didn’t want in a partner. I went into mega detail, listing everything from her attitudes, values, looks, height, race, nationality, body type—everything I wanted in my dream girl. Since my ex, I dated many girls (maybe 15-20) and things seemed hopeless. I wasn’t finding the girl I wanted.

So a lot of guys, they just get impatient. They want everything. Human beings are general. We want everything right now, but that’s just not how life works. Things only seem to come when just enough time has passed and you are just even beating your head against the wall, you’re still moving forward no matter what. You date 15 to 20 girls and you’re like, “Man, they’re all amazing, but still not exactly what I’m looking for.” So at some point you start to think, “Man, it’s hopeless. It’s never going to work out,” but because his vision was so crystal clear and he knew exactly what he wanted, and he had compelling reasons to hold out for what he wanted, he kept moving forward. He persisted, without exception.

To borrow from Andy Andrews. Andy Andrews did a talk, probably 20 years ago, was on PBS, one of the greatest, how’s the word? One of the best speeches or talks I’ve ever seen on perseverance and overcoming obstacles. One of the things he said is, “Persist without exception.” You can’t give up on your goals. You just have to keep persisting even when it seems hopeless. Just like he said, after dating 15 to 20 girls, he’s like, “Man, this is never going to happen. I’m never going to find what I want,” but he knew what he wanted. He was clear about it. He had emotional compelling reasons, and he kept persisting without exception.

For those of you, I think you can get it on Amazon, Andy Andrews’ The Traveler’s Gift, I think it was if I’m not mistaken. Again, it was like 20 years ago, back when his hair was still blonde. It’s all gray now because obviously it’s 20 years later, but that was one of the best live talks, most inspiring speeches I’ve ever seen somebody give. Just epic.

They all had too many opposing values. They were beautiful, and we had a lot of fun, but I remembered what you say in the book about polarity. I am a very masculine man and need a feminine woman. They all had way too much masculine energy for me, and it just felt off.

Your feelings are your truth. You got to listen to that. You can’t ignore that. Any time I’ve ignored my feelings and what I felt I should do in the inside, the results were always less than ideal. When something just felt right, it was perfect. Always much better results. Things always worked out better. So you got to learn to trust your intuition because I think it was Wayne Dyer that said, “When you learn to trust in yourself, you’re trusting in the same wisdom that created you.”

Some of them asked me to be their boyfriend, but I knew it wouldn’t have been optimal as I knew what I wanted, and I wasn’t giving up. I focused, and out of the blue, she arrived. Finally, I found a girl who makes everything so easy. Extremely beautiful, She steps into my frame, pursues me, and makes it effortless, gives me all control, and makes me feel like a man.

So she’s adding to your peace. She’s not taking away from it. She’s not constantly trying to troll you, belittle you and make you question yourself or fight you for control. She feels safe and comfortable in your presence, letting you lead. Even though he may not look at it this way, but those 15 to 20 girls that he dated that didn’t work out, they were preparation for this one because it’s one thing to read the book 20 times, but you got to apply it. You got to get better because when the right girl comes along, you got to be prepared because it’s going to challenge you on every level, especially when you really like her, because then it gets a lot harder to do more things right than wrong, because you’re so emotionally invested and our emotions often override our impulses, we ignore red flags, we agree or commit to things that deep down, we just don’t feel we want to.

Compared to my ex, this woman is everything and more.

As you said Coach, what happened couldn’t have happened any other way, and now I am eternally grateful it did.

Thank you Coach, for everything.

Bob

Well Bob, thanks for sharing that.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.