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A success story on how a viewer used Corey’s work to land a great girlfriend.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares a success story of how he used the principles from 3% Man to land a great girlfriend. He’s been following my work for about two years and originally found me after he got dumped by a previous girlfriend.
He gives a really detailed explanation on what he did differently and where he would typically lose a woman who was initially interested in him. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
Today, I got a success story I’m going to go over with you. This particular guy found me, like a lot of lot of guys do, or a lot of people. A lot of y’all watching this found me because there was a breakup or something, went sideways with a girl they were dating and they’re trying to figure out what the hell happened.
This particular guy got dumped, went through a period of time of mourning and grief, and then he really goes into detail on what he learned and what was really key for him to not screw up in the same ways that he had screwed up in the past that led to him getting rejected, so it’s a pretty detailed email on like some major takeaways, some some things that the book really helped him with.
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Viewer Email:
Coach Corey,
I want to tell you how applying the principles in “How To Be a 3% Man” and your videos have helped me land an amazing girlfriend.
I came across your work two years ago after a passionate long-distant relationship crashed and burned without any warning. I was dating a beautiful woman for nine months and things were progressing extremely well. We’re both in our early 50’s. After spending a wonderful long weekend with her, she told me she, “Needed space.” A few weeks later she dumped me via text message without any explanation. In the attempt of trying to figure out what happened, I came across your videos. (BTW, six months later, I discovered she was monkey-branching back to her ex-boyfriend when we broke up).
Aha! Imagine that!
Looking back through the lens of 3% Man, I realized the mistakes that I made prior to our breakup.
So after going through the book, obviously light bulbs are going off, and that’s typically what happens because guys read that and they go, “Man, I did all these things. Yep, this girl said all these things.”
Fast forward to early 2024. I met a beautiful woman that had all of the qualities that I want in a long-term relationship. She is beautiful, confident, sexy, funny, kind, successful, and exudes positive energy. As a result, she gets hit on all the time and has several male orbiters. Our first date went well enough so we agreed to a second date. For the first two months we had a handful of dates. The dates were fun. We laughed a lot, and I picked up all of the signs of attraction. However, in between the dates she was not very communicative. We would schedule dates and I wouldn’t hear from her for days, or once or twice over a two weeks period. This is where I would’ve failed without 3% Man.
So what’s happening is the kitty cat is backing off a little bit, and that’s usually what makes a guy come unglued. So she backs off a little bit, and then he kind of matches and mirrors that.
Two years ago, I would have either over-pursued or got frustrated and given up. Most likely, both. Instead I followed your principles:
So here’s the key bullet points that really helped him clean up his game and undo all the mistakes that led to him getting rejected in the past.
- Phone is for setting dates (Don’t use the phone to get to know each other).
- During radio silence, don’t get butt-hurt.
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Yeah, you don’t want to get perturbed. What typically happens, and I’ve had lots of discussions over the years with the girls and the podcast about this particular topic. Especially when we’re talking about other guys and how they react, they’re often good two, three weeks out of the gate. Then when the girl backs off a little bit or is not as quick to return a text or a phone call as the guy would like, they get upset, they get butt-hurt, and then from that point on, they just kind of go into a flat spin and they’re just not able to pull out of it. Then a few weeks later, they’re not even interested in the guy anymore because the dude’s display so much unattractive behavior.
Most women have seen this and other men that they’ve dated. Guys start out great. Two or three weeks, same thing, they back off a little bit. Maybe they got something to do in the weekend and they can’t see the guy, and now he’s kind of getting emotionally attached. Instead of just being easy going, easy to get along with, the guys get pissed off, they get butt-hurt and they take it as a personal rejection. Then their behavior changes and their attitude changes. They get angry, they get upset, they get a little controlling, they try to guilt trip her into spending more time with them and it’s really unattractive.
- During radio silence, resist the illusion of action.
Because us guys, we’re driven to succeed and we feel like we have to take action, we have to do something to fix it. With women, it’s just like a cat. If the cat got tired of you petting it, it stopped purring and it jumped out of your lap, don’t take it personally. It just means the cat’s going to go do something else. It’ll probably be back later.
- Don’t chase, let her come to me at her pace (this was huge!).
As you predict in the book and videos, after two months, she started to reach out more often (I let her initiate 90% of the text/calls). Our dates and communications became more consistent.
This is good. He gives a play-by-play of how many dates he went out with.
- First Month: Three dates (very little calls/text).
If you think about it, they meet, you’re probably calling a few days later. Then you set up a date a few days after that, and then it’s like once a week after that. You’re just trying to take measured steps no more than one day a week until she starts reaching out and she starts texting.
- Second Month: Three dates (very little calls/text).
- Third Month: 12+ dates and meetups (she called/texted daily).
This is why these guys are like, “Don’t be a robot. The book says six weeks. She must be in love by week six or seven, or else something is wrong. I must fix.” Maybe this girl is a little different. Maybe he was doing and saying things when they were getting together on their dates that made him look less attractive, and it got in the way. The idea is you’re just trying to go slightly slower than the woman is, and it’s always better if she thinks she’s more into you than you are into her. If you call too much, you text too much, then she’s going to definitely know that you’re way more into her than she’s into you. When that happens, they typically back off. When they do, that usually is what freaks guys out. As soon as the woman pulls back a little bit, guys just freak out about it. Again, we’ve discussed this countless times with the girls in the podcast.
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After three months of dating she brought up the subject of being exclusive. We decided to be exclusive and the relationship has continued to progress. She revealed to me that she was being very guarded early on in our dating.
Yeah, there you go! Little, slightly structured, but not to the point where she just absolutely would not call or text or do anything. She was skeptical. She’s probably been burned. Obviously, she’s an older woman, she’s not a younger girl, so she’s been burned a bunch. She’s gone slower than normal, and since this guy understood the principles in the book and read it 15 times or more, then he knew not to be a robot and try to imprint a certain number of weeks onto the girl. He’s just responding to her behavior and going at her pace. Her pace was a little slower than normal, just because she’s older and she’s had more bad experiences than a hot younger woman would have had.
Again, that’s why I say you got to read the book 10 to 15 times to know it backwards and forwards. It’s not an inflexible script, it teaches you the principles, it teaches you how women operate, so you know when to match and mirror their actions, when to move forward and when to back off.
Primarily because so many guys are hitting on her, and most were creepy or too needy. Her male orbiters were taking their shots, too. By me not chasing and letting her come to me at her pace, she saw that I was different. I had a purpose, secure, and conveyed confidence. One comment she made was “I’m fine being single. I don’t need a relationship to make me happy. I want an equal partner that is the same.”
Ready, willing, able and open to dating. As Jim Rohn said, “I’ll take care of me for you, and you take care of you for me.” Two people come together to share their completeness, not to complete one another. So that’s what this girl is saying. “I want a guy who’s got his shit together basically, like I do. Somebody that I can share my completeness with,” and he showed up and demonstrated that.
I’m attaching a few pictures of us.
She’s very attractive.
She’s eight years younger than me. I would have totally blown this opportunity if I had not listened to your advice.
Bob
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Well, congratulations you crazy kids on your love story! Many future happy endings I hope are in both of your futures!
So if you guys haven’t already signed up for our exclusive Members Only content on my website, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the “plans” tab at the top of your screen on any page of my website, and you can sign up for a free trial. If you choose the annual plan after the free trial, you get a 25% discount for paying up front. You get six additional video coaching newsletters like this one that are exclusive for members only. You have the full version of the viewer podcast questions. Plus you get the 3% Man Study Group and the Mastering Yourself weekly study groups with myself and the girls. You also get any special videos or interviews that we do, or any kind of mini documentaries as well that are exclusive to the members only.
If you prefer to sign up for Members Only on YouTube, if you’re watching this on YouTube, there is a link underneath the video that will take you right there to the sign up page. As far as I know, for the iPhone users, the join button is just not showing up. I think for Android it does, but some of you guys that are using iPhones, you might have to use a desktop or a laptop computer to actually sign up on YouTube. If you click the link that’s under the video, if you’re watching this on YouTube, it should take you to the page where you can join and sign up on the app. If not, just use a laptop computer. Again, I’ve talked to YouTube about it, says it’s a feature they’re slowly rolling out, which I think sucks, but it is what it is.
Also, if you would prefer to consume the Members Only content on Spotify, the link for that is also in the description below the video.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.
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