How you can stay out of the friend zone if a woman you are dating or want to date is saying she wants to be friends only.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a viewer who shares his texting exchange detail with a woman who was trying to friend zone him by making several different attempts and approaches over the course of several weeks. He shares how he responded each time, and what finally led to her throwing in the towel and asking him to have a drink with her when she couldn’t have her way with him.
It’s a great email that perfectly illustrates the intimidation and subtle negotiation tactics women use to test your strength, if they sense weakness, and try to friend zone you. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
You changed my life for the better. I’m a college professor, age 37, and I separated from my wife four months ago and re-entered the dating scene after eight years on the sidelines. I watched many of your videos and read your book one time.
(Read it 10-15 times dude. There are no shortcuts to success. If you want your results to be sustainable and not just attainable, you’ve got to learn all of it.)
I have gotten laid twice by two amazingly attractive women whom I met online.
I also met this stunning Asian woman, who I would rate a 9, and went for the kiss after our first date, but as I approached, she backed off and said, “that’s not how we do it where I’m from.” I said, “It’s customary for the guy to give you a kiss at the end of the date if he likes you.” She shook her head and backed away, so I said, “okay, bye.”
(That sounds like a woman who’s structured, who has a bunch of rules and even if she wants to kiss you, she’s purposely not going to kiss you. So right off the bat on your very first date, you’re getting a woman who is playing a game of manipulation, holding back and telling you she has rules.)
The next day, she texted me saying she just wants to be friends, and I said, “No, you’re way to beautiful to just be friends. There’s no way I can do that.”
(Good fucking job dude. That is the perfect response. She tried to friend zone you. You want her to recognize that she doesn’t have any leverage over you. The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. So right away what does that do to her leverage? It makes it evaporate.)
I never spoke to her again for about a week until she texted me saying she’d like me to go out with her cute friend. I said, “I only date beautiful women, send me her picture and I’ll let you know.”
(That shows, “I’ve got standards, I only date really beautiful women and I haven’t decided.” Now the average beta male is going to be like “Ooh, can you set us up? That would be great!” Then she would probably say, “Well, let’s get together over coffee and talk about it first.” She likes using the carrot, and if she’s a beautiful woman, it usually works with every guy she meets. But you, nope. You’re a 3% man.)
She kept insisting her friend was cute, and I said, “If she’s that hot, she knows it, and she will send me that picture in two seconds.”
(That’s a great response. That was just another tactic of manipulation on her part.)
It never came, so I said, “Sorry, my time is far too precious to spend with women who aren’t a 9 or 10.”
Another week of silence goes by and she texts me, “Are you seeing someone?” I said, “yes, it’s terrible dating any beautiful woman I want.” Thirty seconds later, she texted back and asked me, “would you like to have a drink with me tomorrow night?” Absolutely. It’s on now.
Thanks for helping me stay out of the friend zone Corey. You are doing a great service for all us guys; I consider you to be one of the Knights Templar of the male libido.
(There are a couple of things I want to point out about this girl that I don’t like. I don’t like that she’s fucking controlling. I don’t like that she’s dangling the carrot. She’s used to manipulating people and getting away with it. I really don’t fucking like that.
And obviously, she’s structured, so what that tells me is, that’s probably the nature of this woman. She’s a carrot and the stick kind of person, so as soon as you get the carrot, you’re probably going to be getting the stick for extended periods of time.
Keep in mind, she’s probably going to take ten other runs at you to test your strength, and maybe even try to get you to agree to only be your friend again on your date. She’s probably better suited as a fuck buddy or somebody you just hook up with a few times, versus somebody you would want to date for an extended period of time.
Think about it. What’s it going to be like dating a woman like this year one, year two, year three? “Well, I’m not getting what I want, so no sex for you.” There are bells with red flags going off in my head right now. Just keep that in mind, and see what it’s like.
Definitely keep your options open, because I don’t like the manipulation this woman is exhibiting. I mean, “I have a cute friend to set you up with?” That tells me she may also be a little dishonest and devious, and that’s never a good combination, so keep your eyes fucking wide open.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Being friend zoned when a man is interested in romance is a test of his fortitude, resolve and manhood. A beta male seeks to appease, please and appear to be agreeable to friendship in hopes of romance later, which never comes. An alpha male politely declines an offer of friendship when his interest is romantic and never settles for a life, lifestyle, friends or lovers that are less than what he really wants and deserves. Walking away from what you don’t want is also a statement of commitment to what you do want. This causes the universe to conspire with you to manifest exactly what you want and deserve.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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