In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a woman who is having problems communicating effectively with her boyfriend. She does an outstanding job describing the situation and shares what they each have been saying to one another. She provides a great email that perfectly illustrates the communication disconnect many men and women have when trying to communicate, love and support each other effectively. Recently after a job she was hoping to get turned out to be a scam, she texted her boyfriend about it hoping she could talk with him about it when they met up. When they got together, he did not ask her about it and she therefore got angry and hurt feeling like he did not care about her. When she told him how hurt she was, he got upset with her. She got upset with him because he seemed to only be interested in talking about her boobs, his friends and his interests. He then felt rejected because she shot down his sexual advances. She shut down to him sexually because she felt he did not care. He got so mad that she assumed he did not care about her, that he stormed out and left. They have spoken sporadically over the past few days and she wonders how she can get through to him so he understands where she is coming from and repair their intimacy. I tell her how she can diffuse the situation and speak to him in a language he can understand so they both can meet each others needs and finally get past the communication issues that are complicating their relationship, and deep love they have for one another.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Men and women communicate differently. Men tend to use logic and reason to communicate and relate. Women tend to be emotionally focused and use relational examples to communicate thoughts, concepts, feelings, emotions and ideas. Men tend to try and fix things or problem solve, when they should simply listen. Women most often solve their problems on their own by talking about them. All men should ask women, “Do you want my opinion or do you just want me to listen?,” before offering unsolicited advice to any woman. Women should tell men exactly what they need their men to do to feel understood, validated and loved, instead of speaking in relational examples and expecting men to figure out the point of where they are coming from, or what they need. When men and women fail to communicate in each others language, this results in confusion, unnecessary drama, disappointment, unrealized expectations, feelings being hurt, anger and avoidable problems.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne