How Relationships Like Mike Vrabel & Dianna Russini Start

How relationships based upon lying & cheating start & end.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares a story of his relationship that was built upon lying and cheating similar to how Mike Vrabel & Dianna Russini built a relationship upon lying and cheating. Both couples were clearly unhappy.

The viewer and his affair partner eventually left their marriages, but she won’t commit to him and wants her independence. It’s driving him crazy. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So if you’ve been on social media the last few weeks, Mike Vrabel, he’s the New England Patriots current head coach who took them to the Super Bowl last year. Dianna Russini, who I don’t think I’d ever really seen her before, but I guess she was an NFL reporter, they apparently have been carrying on a years-long affair, even though both of them are supposedly happily married with kids, the whole nine yards and some of the photos getting released go back to like, I think 2020, 2021.

So I saw an article that the speculation is they think maybe her husband has been filming this stuff all along. She supposedly said the affair was over and yet it continued. As stuff comes out, it’s just like more and more videos get released. The one that just came out the last day or two is that she’s like seven months pregnant with her husband’s child. We assume it’s the husband’s child, and he and her are going on a boat trip together, obviously still hooking up, back when she’s pregnant with somebody else’s child. Then the speculation, because I have so many cases like this I’ve done over the years where people are in these situations, or I’m talking to the guy that’s married to the cheating woman, and he’s basically finding out a bunch of his kids aren’t even his because she’d just been sleeping around basically. Plus, there’s interviews that have come out with her talking about Mike Vrabel and it’s pretty obvious that she liked him, and my first initial response is like, “Hey, who cares? Whatever. It’s like the girl’s hot. Hey, good for him.” Then I hear, “Oh, he’s married with and she’s married.” Then I just heard he supposedly leads like Bible study right before the games with his players.

So everybody’s calling for his head that he needs to be fired. He’s a great coach, but he’s a really shitty discount James Bond. His operational security is terrible. I mean, it just looks like two unhappy people in their relationships. I mean, her husband is a handsome, successful guy, but it’s pretty clear she doesn’t really value the commitment she made to him, nor does Mike value the commitment he made to, obviously, his wife. I mean, can you imagine the amount of lying and duplicity that goes on for many, many, many years? Again, this relationship goes back at least five or six years or maybe even longer, and for whatever reason, they didn’t leave their their significant others and they continued the affairs. They’ve been living double lives, lying to their spouses, lying to their kids, lying to everybody that knows them. You know, Mike Vrabel obviously his high character pushes that kind of character in the locker room culture, the whole nine yards, and here he is, leading Bible study while he’s living like a total heathen. So for whatever reason, he’s unable to live the way he really wants to live. Same thing with her.

So they live a lie. Being open about their relationship being together, or maybe they’re just each other’s side piece and they’re cool with it, I don’t really know the specifics, but as soon as you think the story is going away, more details, more video, more pictures come out. Like I said, the one in the last day or two is the one with, I mean, she’s very visibly pregnant and they’re going on a boat ride together. So now they get caught and somebody releasing this stuff is trying to burn them.

This particular email, as I was reading through it, it reminded me of that because this is from a guy, he’s 52 and he met a woman, 44, at the gym there. Both of them are married, got families, whole nine yards. Both of them are in unhappy marriages. So they started having an affair for almost two years. Then it looks like he was the first one to leave his wife, she left her husband later, but you could tell that this particular guy doesn’t understand attraction, and his affair partner is clearly not as attracted to him as Diana is to Mike Vrabel.

So the other thing is that these kind of relationships, especially when the guy’s the first one to leave, he loses his leverage because now he’s out of the relationship and he’s single, but she still has her husband or she’s living with a boyfriend, so she can go back and forth. Oftentimes, guys get caught in these situations where they’re waiting for the woman to leave, and sometimes she stays with the husband and it keeps BSing him. Then it never happens. The statistic is that 95% of the relationships that come from cheating, tend to end in cheating. At the end of the day, with Mike Vrabel and Russini, she sure seems to gush about him and he’s kind of more stoic. I mean, she’s a smoke-show, so what normal, warm-blooded man wouldn’t find her hot and attractive? It’s just that she’s obviously a liar and a cheater, and it’s been going on for multiple, multiple years. So she ended up resigning, losing her job because reporters are not supposed to get involved with their subjects. Again, he’s leading Bible study and trying to teach his players, “Hey, follow my example,” but it’s not really a good example of a loyal dude, especially with all the lying and the deception that goes on.

So with that said, let’s go through this guy’s email, because this guy that wrote the email and is in a situation now where the woman is a fair partner, has got her own place, and she’s like, “Oh, I want to be independent. I was under my husband’s thumb for so long.” The reality is, her respect and attraction for this guy is dropping and he doesn’t see it because he’s too focused on a relationship, locking her down, and acting like a woman. So he’s turning her off and she’s wanting to keep her options open and he’s all wrapped up in the Disney fantasy, but is ignoring the fact that she’s basically inviting attention from other men. So he’s kind of surprised at all this and it’s like, character is destiny. Relationships that come from lying and cheating, tend to end and lying and cheating. I think he’s caught her in some lies as well. So this should not be surprising that he’s getting lied to.

The difference between the two relationships is obviously, Diana has a high level of respect and attraction for Mike Vrabel. Plus, he never left his family, so he was always a challenge. It made him harder to attain in her eyes. Therefore, he maintained the attraction and the power dynamic through this multi-year affair, and this poor guy is butts-twisted in the wind. At the end of the day he did it to himself. I look at things like this that you’re unhappy for a long period of time, and then the universe sends you somebody to get you out of that unhappy relationship or unhappy marriage. So in his case, now he’s a free agent to pursue what he wants, but that’s what he should be doing, is focusing on his outcome and not on winning this woman over. He should just be creating an opportunity for sex to happen. To hang out, have fun, and hook up. She’s inviting attention from other men, and he should be giving attention to other women instead of putting all his eggs in her basket because she’s clearly keeping her options open.

Viewer Email:

Hi there,

I’m a huge fan!

This is a unique situation.

No it’s not. This is pretty common. I get these all the time.

I’m 52 and met a woman (44) at the gym. We were both married and having major issues in our relationships. My wife had a temper and was abusive verbally which brought much resentment over the years and the woman I met her husband was very controlling.

So your woman is supposed to make your dick hard, not your life. Your wife was clearly making your life hard. She wasn’t easygoing, easy to get along with. So you come home, you want peace, and you want good sex, good times, and your wife to be your joy. Instead, you come home to Attila the Hun and she’s been scheming, plotting, and waiting to do battle with you all day long for whatever reason, daddy issues or she didn’t get that tricycle, you stopped dating or whatever, or she’s just a truly foul bitch. In some cases, it happens.

We met and connected and had an affair for a year-and-a-half. Mostly emotional as we were both living at home but physical at times. I moved out of my house and got separate and she moved out 10 months later. When she moved out she all of the sudden wanted her independence and autonomy while holding on to me and not fully letting me go.

That’s what we call monkey-branching. That’s what she did with the husband. So she’s got you, which you helped her get out of that unhappy marriage, but you haven’t sent her emotions into the stratosphere like Mike Vrabel did. Therefore, you’re kind of like the backup plan. You’re like one of the dudes in a rotation, basically.

At the end of the day, the woman should be the one trying to win you over and convince you to be her new boyfriend. Instead, you’re basically acting like the woman too much. So you should be reading the book. It’s free to read if you’re new here, Understandingrelationships.com. Just subscribe to the email newsletter. Open it up right in your web browser, name, email address, and create a password and poof! It’ll open right up for you. You can start reading immediately. Even if you think I’m full of shit, if you apply what’s in this beautiful little book, you’ll get way better results than you were getting on your own.

I then caught her lying a few times about hanging out with male friends…

Again, you’re in a relationship with a liar and a cheater. What do you expect? Duhh, water is wet.

…From the past but I genuinely believe she isn’t sleeping around.

Like she was sleeping around with you. Hello? Who knows, maybe you’re just one of several guys she was hooking up with. You don’t really know. Again, attraction cuts through everything, and Diana is clearly way attracted to Mike Vrabel. He’s the unattainable challenge. Supposedly, he’s staying with his wife. He’s had some tough conversations. He’s in a marriage counseling. Sometimes a relationship runs its course. Sometimes guys don’t get to taste the all-you-can-eat buffet, they get into a relationship, and they later regret it. He doesn’t want to. He’s not unhappy enough to blow up his family, but he’s also not happy enough to be exclusive with her either. Again, Diana’s smoking hot.

She is a mother and she is very known in her community and wouldn’t sleep around…

Bro. Come on, man!

…(I know you’ll think I’m naive, that’s OK)…

It’s like I just have to look at her actions. Plus, I’ve been doing this over 20 years, dude. So I seen it all. This is like not surprising to me. It’s new to you, but again, it’s like the sky is fucking blue. Big deal.

…But I caught her and she fought hard for me not to leave her.

Oh, a liar and a cheater got caught and promised to change. Promised to be better.

I’ve been told after any divorce it’s best not to jump into another relationship but we met and fell in love.

Well, you projected your fantasy of what you want her to be on her, and you think it’s going to be a Disney movie, but what you’re finding out is reality is much different from a Disney movie. Just like Mike Vrabel and Diana Russini are finding out it’s not a Disney movie. It’s messy. Life is messy. Feelings, emotions, kids, houses, and assets, millions and millions of dollars worth of assets are involved. So it’s a messy situation. It’s easier to maintain the lie than blow your lives up. At the end of the day, look what happened.

At one point, she used to tell me she loved me more. And I think I messed it up cause I wanted more time from her on the weeks we don’t have our kids.

So you were over-pursuing. Clearly you need to read the book, dude, because quite frankly, as far as an attraction standpoint, you need to be more like Mike Vrabel instead of acting like a beta male.

She’s a sexy woman and now that she’s on her own I get the feeling she doesn’t want to be locked down…

Your job is just to create the opportunity for sex to happen, dude. Hang out, have fun, and hook up. That’s something that Mike Vrabel clearly understands. He’s hanging out, having fun, and hooking up with Diana when he’s available, when he’s around. Other than that, he’s a family man. That works for him, or it is or was.

…But doesn’t want to give me up and it’s a really rough spot to be in.

Well, that’s why you should let women compete for your attention. You got oneitis and she’s keeping her options open. If she knew you were dating and potentially sleeping with other women, especially women that are hotter, younger, and got no kids, no attachments, that would completely change your attitude. “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander,” as the old saying goes. So she wants to keep her options open. You need to keep yours open. She needs to be the one trying to convince you to be exclusive with her because at the end of the day, she’s a liar and a cheater, and she’s lying to you now and potentially cheating. This hoe ain’t loyal.

I’ve also had some lies too but I’m very attracted to her and want to be with her. I rarely initiate texts or calls she does that 90% of the time but I still find myself in the same position.

Well again, if she reaches out, make a date, and if she can’t, doesn’t know her schedule, just say, “Well, figure it out and get back to me.” Then the rest of the time, you should be focused on your purpose, your mission, looking for and dating other women. If she complains that you don’t want to talk to her, it’s like, “I don’t want to talk. I want to see you. I want to hold you. I don’t want to do a digital relationship. You’re single and I’m single. So we should be spending more time together. If you don’t want to do that, well you could spend time with whoever you want and I’m going to spend time with whoever I want and let the chips fall where they may. You left your marriage because you wanted something better.”

She was not happy and was open to basically falling in love and finding somebody else. At the end of the day, attraction cuts through everything. Her interest in you is lower than your interest in her. Therefore, she’s got all the leverage and you keep giving it to her.

Lots of push-pull and I don’t know what to do to get her back to her loving me more stage.

So you stop moving forward. You stop calling. You stop texting. When she calls, try to arrange your next get together. She tells you she’s unsure, say, “Figure out your schedule and get back to me. I gotta run, I’ll talk to you later.” If she reaches out two times in a row and both times you try to set a date and she won’t set a date with you, then just stop asking. After you’ve asked twice on two different occasions when she’s reached out to you first to get together for a date and she won’t do it, then just stop asking her all together.

Then after she talks for two or three minutes, just say, “Hey you! It’s awesome hearing from you, but I gotta run. I’ll talk to you later. I got an appointment I gotta get to,” and just be unavailable. In other words, if she doesn’t bring up getting together, then you’re gonna exit the conversation after three or four minutes. If she’s texting you and doesn’t bring up seeing you in person after three or four texts replies, say, “Hey, I gotta run. I’ll talk to you later.” Give your attention to women who appreciate it and who are excited to spend time with you,

She has said if she wasn’t with me she wouldn’t be in a relationship and would take time to get to know herself…

In other words, “I’m just being with you because you’re giving me a hard time about it.”

…(she lost herself in the marriage)…

Well, that’s what happens with most people when they’re living a lie. Cearly, Mike Vrabel and Dianna Russini were living lies. At the end of the day, I would say they’re still living a lie, quite frankly, just from the outside of it, they should be together. It looks like the marriage ran its course. I mean, if you’re going to carry on an affair for five or six years, or maybe she’s just a side piece and he’s cool with that, at the end of the day, he’s not really being authentic and real. The more manly thing to do would be, if I was talking to him it’s like, “If you’re unhappy in your marriage and Diana rocks your fucking world, go be with Diana. If Diana doesn’t want to be with you, then go find a woman who does. Fuck them both.” Hang out, have fun, and hook up. Your job is to create the opportunity for sex to happen.

My suspicion, though, is Diana would follow Mike Vrabel anywhere. Just from the way she’s gushed about him, the way she looks at him, the way she talks about him, she’s clearly infatuated because again, he’s a challenge. He’s unattainable. Now obviously, that dynamic will change a little bit if he does blow up his marriage and become single. Who knows, maybe she stays with her husband, but at the end of the day, he should focus on making himself happy.

…But I guess there is an emotional connection she doesn’t want to let go.

She’s holding on to you. It’s called monkey-branching. She’s looking to see if she can find a guy that stimulates her emotions more than you do, because you act too beta too often. Again, you need to start reading the book.

I say with all humility she knows I can get another woman.

Well, the fact you don’t do that, you talk about it, that’s the issue. You go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.

I’m tall, I do well financially, I’m fit and attractive, and would have no problem finding someone.

Again, give your attention to somebody who values it. This girl no longer values it like she did. She’s keeping her options open. If she finds somebody that stimulates her emotionally more, guess what’s going to happen? She’s going to ditch you and go be with the other guy. That’s why you should just treat her like one of the girls in your practice squad and she’s the one that’s got to convince you to commit to her.

Some days I get closeness some days more distance.

Again, your job is just to make the opportunity for sex to happen.

I’ve definitely made many mistakes pushing sex or asking for more time then she can give and that’s worked against me.

Yeah, because you’re acting like a woman. It ruins the sexual polarity.

I want to know at this point if it’s even possible for it go back to where it was…

It is, if you exercise self-control and you do that before she monkey-branches fully to somebody else.

…And how because from day to day I never know what I’m going to get.

That’s why you shouldn’t care. You should just care about giving her the meat missile when she’s available. Other than that, give the meat missile to somebody else and only agree to be exclusive if the girl just makes things so awesome for you that it would be stupid to be with anybody else.

She feels she gave so much to her husband and kids that now she wants some freedom and independence to not have to answer to anyone including me.

What she’s basically saying is, “I don’t have high enough interest in you to want to be with you in that way, but I like having sex with you occasionally when it suits me, but in reality, I’m keeping my options open.” That’s basically what she’s communicating, because again, you care more about her than she does about you. You’re all focused on your feelings and your emotions and totally ignoring the reality of what her true interest is in you, which is obviously much lower than it used to be. If you keep behaving this way and thinking this way, you’re going to drive it lower, and then eventually you’re going to get left.

But she doesn’t want to let me go fully she will still get together, have sex once in a while, and constantly text or call me even if once or twice a day.

Again, that’s too much. The phone should be for arranging get-togethers. If she doesn’t want to see you, go spend time with people that are excited to see you in person. Dude, women vote with their feet. If she’s with you, it means she voted for you.

She rarely goes without initiating contact. Please help me as I am going through a rough time with this and need some clarity. 

Bob

Again, I wouldn’t call or text her for any reason at all. Let her do 100% of the reaching out. Again, like I said, if she reaches out, assume she wants to see you try to make a date. If she’s like, “Well, I can’t. I gotta do this. I gotta do that, but I want to talk,” just say, “Well, I’m stepping into a meeting. I got a bunch of stuff to do today, so figure out your schedule and get back to me and we’ll plan something then.” Again, she reaches out later that night or the next day or two days later, same thing. You’ll ask twice and if she won’t make plans, stop asking.

From that point forward, keep your conversations limited to three or four minutes max on the phone or FaceTime, and three or four text replies max before you say you got to run and you’ll talk to her later, and one or two things will happen: She’ll bring up getting together or she’ll stop contacting you all together. You’ve got to flip the power back around and get back to acting more like Mike Vrabel, who is a leader of men, he’s an alpha. Obviously, he’s not very loyal to his wife and his kids, but at the end of the day, he’s still a stud. Diana is still hot. She’s still gushing over him. Quite frankly, you look at her husband, who’s younger than Mike Vrabel, and looks to be fitter and more in shape, because Mike Vrabel doesn’t look like he did back when he was playing, and she still chose to have the affair partner Mike Vrabel.

So she’s got a multi-millionaire husband. Extremely successful, fit, younger, better looking than Mike Vrabel, but yet she chooses to cheat on her husband with Mike Vrabel. For all those the the retards that are like, “Oh, it’s money and looks. It’s money and looks,” again, look at the pictures of Mike Vrabel and her husband who’s fitter, who’s in better shape, who’s better looking. I would have to say her husband, but again, who acts more masculine? Who’s the big fucking gorilla? It’s Mike Vrabel. That’s why she’s thirsting after him. Mike Vrabel acts a lot like Danny Amendola. Danny Amendola is smart enough or, not Danny Amendola I’m sorry, Julian Edelman is smart enough to not get married. He knows better.

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