How To Adapt 3% Man To Women You Meet While On Vacation

How to adapt 3% Man to dating women while you’re on vacation.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who met a girl who was visiting his country for her birthday with her mother. He cold approached her while she was with her mom and they met up for a date. After the mother left they got close.

Now that she’s back in her country, he wonders when to reach out next. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So I did write about some examples in the book, because normally under normal circumstances you meet a girl that lives like, 10, 15 minutes away, you’re going to take measured steps one day per week in no rush, but there’s going to be times you may be traveling, you’re hanging out at the hotel bar, having a nice dinner, maybe a a cocktail, blowing some steam off, maybe you’re on a work trip or whatever. Then an absolutely stunning woman sits down next to you. Maybe you’re only in town for a few more days. She’s in town for a few days. You’re not going to take her number and call her a week later because she’s going to be back wherever she’s from. So more than likely, you start an instant date, you just start drinking, having your dinner and your drinks and talking, and you find out you have a lot in common. Then you find someplace cool to go down the street, and you go hang out there for a while, spend a few hours together, and the connection is really great, you start kissing and making out. Then you end up back in your room or her room, hanging out, having fun and hooking up. Then the next day, you’ll probably make plans, “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?” It’s like, “Well, I got this. I got a trade show, but I’m free after six.” It’s like, you’re gonna try to pack as many dates in as you can.

I wrote about my old girlfriend Katie, my English girlfriend, and we met at a Tony Robbins event, and I met her the second night of the event. The third night, we had our first date, and then after that, during the breaks or lunches or dinner, we’d be hanging out together. We would find each other. She’d be staying at my place because she was staying at a hotel down the street. We’re walking around holding hands and people thought like, “How many years you guys been together?” I would be like, “Well, we met two days ago.” They’re like, “What?” It’s like, when you really understand the book backwards and forwards, you can meet somebody and have a love story that, bang! just starts off like that. It’s beautiful and it’s fun when that happens. It’s like something right out of the movies, but most guys, when those things happen, when they meet a girl that’s attracted already, they just blow it.

Like I said, when you’re on vacation, it’s going to be a little different. You can condense things down and pack things in, especially if you’re both on vacation, if you’re both traveling and you meet at the hotel or whatever, and you’re only going to each be in town for a few days. It’s when you’re available that you’re going to hang out, have fun and hook up. Then when you go back to your city, if you guys really clicked, like in our case, it’s like we spent 10 days together, well actually about seven days, the first night I saw her, second night I met her, third night we had our first date. So we had about a full seven days until she went back to the UK and I was going to be traveling for another three weeks with other friends and stuff. So by the time I got back, we talked about because she’d always wanted to come to Florida, and I said, “When I get back in town, I’ll shoot you an email with my availability. Send your itinerary over and I’ll pick you up at the airport.” That’s what happened.

I was traveling for three weeks, I got back, sent her an email, let her know the dates I was available, and with a few hours later, she sent me her plane ticket itinerary and I was like, “I can’t wait to see you. I’ll see you at the airport.” A few weeks later, I just showed up at the airport and picked her up. It was just like we picked right back up where we were. We didn’t even do any FaceTime or video dates because we had talked about that. At the end of the week, we just had this amazing week together and we didn’t know each other. Then it was like love at first sight and just, bam! We were in a relationship, basically. We didn’t talk about it or commit to it. We didn’t even have to discuss it. She wanted to be with me. I wanted to be with her. It’s very simple, very easy, very effortless. Like I said, when you really master what’s in the book, that’s what happens. It’s a lot of fun. It makes life very exciting and worth living when those kinds of things come along, because you never know when it’s going to happen, but you got to be prepared for it. You got to understand what to do, and you got to know the book really well and be able to adapt your approach on the fly.

As the book says, your job really is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. To hang out, have fun, and hook up. So in this particular case with this emailer, he’s living in his city, and this particular girl is from Belgium, and she was traveling with her mother for her birthday. So he ended up cold approaching her when she was with her mom, create a rapport with the mom and the daughter, which is awesome. He invited them to dinner, they go to have dinner and at some point the mother leaves. Then they hang out, they’re kissing and they’re making out and everything, but what he did was he waited until she got back, and he’s been chatting through WhatsApp and the conversation kind of ended and now he’s wondering, “When do I reach out next?”

So I mean, at this point he’s kind of had a missed opportunity, but it is a good email because I know lots of you guys write in about long distance or girls you meet on vacation, or in this case, he met a girl who was on vacation in his city and country.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I wanted to ask your opinion on a situation with a girl I met recently.

I approached her on the street in my town while she was visiting from Belgium with her mom for her birthday. We later met up, and her mom joined us for part of the time since they were in a foreign country, but she apologized a few times for that.

Well I mean, that’s really smart that you did. That is, you created rapport with the mother. You got the mother on your side. She’s like, “Hey, I really like this guy.” So the mother feels safe knowing that her daughter is hanging out in a city with basically a totally strange dude that they’ve only known for a few hours, basically.

So it’s important. She could be with a bunch of friends, same thing. That’s why it’s really important if you’re going to approach women in groups or like in this case, a woman with her parents or her mom is like, you got to spend time asking the mom questions and build rapport with her and say, “Hey, we should get together for dinner. That’d be great.” Then once mom has a good feeling about you, she’ll excuse herself and she’ll be like, “I’ll let you let you kids go and have a great time tonight.” That’s basically what happened.

So now you got mom on your side, which he did a great job of that, obviously, but he missed an opportunity to see her a few more times when she was there based on what he shared here.

It was her actual birthday, so I brought her flowers and chocolate (Partly because I was late due to traffic).

So it’s like a bribe for an apology. The book says no gifts. None of that until you’re boyfriend/girlfriend, but it’s a vacation. It’s a special thing. It’s her birthday. You’re hanging out with her and her mom. Is it really going to help your case? They’re like, “Oh, it’s so cute.” I mean, it looks good to the mom. Now you got mom saying good things about you. So a normal circumstance of like, absolutely not. I wouldn’t do it, but it can be a plus because again, mom loves that. Then maybe mom’s going back to the hotel, she can take the flowers and the chocolates because you don’t want to walk around with that shit all night. Now you got the mom approval and you’re good to go.

We all walked around, and when her mom left us alone, we clicked instantly. There was a lot of teasing and chemistry, and later we kissed passionately in the park.

Yeah, because mom gave the approval. Now she feels safe. She already liked you. Attraction is not a choice. now you got mom’s approval and mom basically gave her blessing, in essence. That’s where you want to be. So good job on that.

Before she left, I told her we should meet again in a few weeks “to get the ball rolling,” and she agreed, saying we could chat on WhatsApp to plan it.

Well, I’d have been saying, if you know she’s going to leave in a couple of days, it’s like, “Well, I’d love to see you again before you leave. When do you have free over the next day or two?” And then plan it, but again, because he’s trying to stick to the book a little bit, this is like a special case. Like I said, I’ve got examples in there of my English girlfriend that I wrote about and how I did all that because you violate a lot of the principles when you’re seeing each other every day, but again, because you’re at an event, it’s not like she’s back home living in her country. I’m on vacation. She’s on vacation. The only people we know each knew a handful of people there, but other than that, it was just the two of us.

I later found out her uncle was there, who was actually a friend of mine. I didn’t even know they were related at first. I didn’t realize that for a couple of weeks. So that was pretty cool. I just saw that they knew each other because he was English and she was English. She later told me, “Oh, that’s my uncle.” I was like, “OK, that makes more sense.” He already liked me, so that helped. That gave me social proof as well because he’s like, “Oh, I know Corey. Corey’s one of my platinum partners.”

She’s very feminine, low-exposure, beautiful, used to be Muslim, and she even told me I was “A gift from God,” because she had a feeling she’d meet someone who’d bring her roses. After the date, she texted that she had fun and sent me “good morning” texts for two days.

Well again, if that’s happening, I would have been like, “Hey you! If you’re still around, I’d love to see you if you’re free,” and she’s like, “Oh, my mom and I are doing this or that,” it’s like, “Well, let’s get together for dinner again. Your mom’s cool as hell. I’d love to hang out with her,” because again, you’re building rapport, you’re on vacation. I mean, if you guys got serious anyways down the road, mom already likes you, and if you’re going to go see her in a month or so or weeks or so, it’s like, “Oh, he’s such a nice young man. I’m so glad he’s coming to visit,” and they’ll probably want you to come and stay at their house, which is nice, and then you’re part of the family. This is like an advanced type of topic.

So you got to know what you’re doing. You got to know the book. That’s the important thing. Again, what you’re really looking for is the interest. Like I said, that’s why what’s in the book is not set in stone. You can bend the rules. Like this would be a special case to do that.

Then I sent a message that didn’t really require a response, and she didn’t open it for three days and then I saw that she opened it at midnight on Wednesday.

Well, maybe she was traveling back or whatever.

It’s been around four-and-a-half days, I haven’t reached out. I’m giving her space and not double-texting.

It’s now been a week since the date, and I’m wondering if it would be appropriate to call her this weekend…

Yes.

…Just a short, light conversation to reconnect, ask how she’s been, and say I’d like to see her again and that she lets me know when she’s free, leaving the ball in her court. She’s in Belgium, I’m in Croatia (Just a two-hour cheap and short flight apart).

Well, what I would do is say, “Hey, I’d love to FaceTime to catch up. Let’s do a FaceTime date and have a glass of wine or some tea together and catch up. I’d love to hear more about your trip to my country and how that went and what you and your mom did.” If she’s really into you, she’ll say, “That’d be great!” Then at some point, just say, “I really want to see you again.” She’s in Belgium. He’s in Croatia. So say, “I’d love to travel to Belgium and check out your country. Let me know and give me some ideas on where it would be a good place to stay that’s near you and your family and where there’s cool things for us to do.” Then maybe you go stay there for a week or maybe a long weekend or something like that, obviously is going to depend on your schedule and what your availability is, but at this point, you should be able to do a video date with her just to catch up. Then before the end of it, just say, “Well, I want to come see you. I want to check out your country. When are you available?” Then ask her. If she’s like, “I don’t know, I gotta check with my family.” It’s like, “Great! Well, give me some dates, check with your family and give me some dates on when it will be a good time for me to visit, and I’ll book my trip in a few weeks. I’d love to come see you and and spend some more time together. It be cool to see your mom again.” Just say it like that. She’d love that.

Again, that really helps you with creating rapport. It goes a long way. Even when you go to pick up a girl and say, she lives with her parents or whatever, to meet them and shake their hand, look them in the eye, spend a few minutes talking to them, asking them questions, create rapport, asking them about stuff they see you around the house or, “Oh, I see you used to play baseball,” or “You did this or that,” or “Nice boat. Landscaping looks amazing. What was the inspiration for that statue?” Just take the time to take a sincere, authentic interest. If you got the parents talking and telling you about themselves, their house, their family, what they do for a living, where they grew up and all those kinds of things, that creates rapport. It helps them like you and you get the parents on your side. It’s like, man, that goes a long, long way to making things really easy with the girl if the parents give the thumbs up approval. It’s like the doors just open and all you got to do is walk through.

Would you say it’s better to make that call now, or wait a bit longer to let her wonder and miss me more and perhaps she will reach out to me?

Thanks for your time and all your work!

Bob

Well again, once a week. You just met. Like I said earlier, it was a missed opportunity. Probably unless she returned like the next day, but it sounds like she was still there for a couple more days, but you were being a little robotic thinking, “Oh, I gotta wait a week.”

Again, I had examples in the book where I didn’t do that. I made instant dates in the spot and we hung out every fucking day. Anytime we had time, we hung out together. So in this case, I would be reaching out to her and suggesting to do a video date to catch up because you want to hear more about her trip and what her and her mom did, and catch up. If the conversation goes well, then at the end of it, tell her you want to come visit her, because in this case, the guy should go to see her. Then more than likely, you hang out, you have fun and you hook up while you’re in the city and you get mom. I don’t know if dad’s in the picture or whatnot, you get him on your side and now they have a feeling of comfort for you, and they’ll probably feel more comfortable with their daughter next time, the third time you guys see each other, her coming back to Croatia to see you.

So again, if she really likes you and her interest is high, she’ll be glad to hear from you and she’ll be happy to make a video date. If she’s not, she’ll give you excuses.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.