How To Avoid Fumbling The Easy Booty Call

How to keep from fumbling the easy booty call & talking her out of sleeping with you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work for 8 years. He met a girl in the grocery store, created an instant date and seduced her at his place later that night. Things were good for about a week before it went sideways. She texted him about a month later obviously looking for a booty call, but he fumbled the opportunity. He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. On the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “How To Avoid Fumbling The Easy Booty Call.”

Well, this particular email is from a guy who pretty much did that. He says he’s been following me for about eight years. Says he’s read 3% Man 15 times, and so he did a good job. He met this girl in the grocery store, created an instant date, and then she basically stayed the night and they had a nice session of the Indoor Olympics.

But after she left, he started kind of fumbling the football a little bit, with, trying to set up a booty call, or a date, and he just wasn’t. It’s like he was good out the gate, and then he just kind of, just fumbled the ball all over the place. This is a good email for just clean up, on how to kind of clean up your game a little bit, because as I discussed in The Book, your job is to create an opportunity for sex to happen.

To hang out, to have fun while you’re hanging out, and to hook up when the signs are there that she’s ready to be touched, ready to be kissed, ready to be seduced. And so, especially in these early stages of dating and hooking up, because women are going to tend to be like cats a little bit. They might be all over you, and then they seem to be a little aloof and different, not as interested in you over the next few days.

And then it seems like their interest goes up again. And so you got to learn to kind of pick up on those natural rhythms, because women tend to behave like cats. And so you don’t get too caught up in her enthusiasm for you or her lack of enthusiasm for you. On other days, you just want to be kind of even keeled and be okay with her sticking around and being excited, or her getting a little bored and then going back to her life.

And then when she doesn’t hear from you or she starts to miss you a little bit, then she gets back in touch with enthusiasm. And that’s just the ebb and flow of how women are. And so you got to learn to pick up on that, because otherwise you end up fumbling the easy booty call.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I have been following you for like eight years and read your book 15 times over the years, I will read it again.

Long story short.

And so for those of you that have already read it, the 10 to 15 times, you know it pretty well. Ideally, if you want to maintain that, you should go through The Book at least once or twice a year. Because what I see, especially long term and lately I’ve been getting a string of emails from guys that have been following me for a long time, and they just kind of got away from The Book, stop watching videos are like five, six, seven, eight years beyond it.

And then they just never went back to it after they started dating or got into a relationship. And then they’re surprised when they start having problems, when they go back through The Book that they realize, man, they just completely got away from the baseline fundamentals. Because remember, whatever you observe, you participate in. So if you stop consuming the stuff that’s in my Book or in my work, and you’re only consuming traditional TV media movies over time, you’re going to kind of have a tendency to start to behave like how you’re being propagandized.

And so if that’s mostly what you’re consuming and you’re no longer just consuming the stuff that got you the success that’s in The Book, then it’s easy for guys over many years to kind of go back to sleep. So you always got to kind of keep the baseline fundamentals fresh and go back to it, ideally, like once a year. Once you’ve been following it, you’ve been successful for, you know, for several years.

I met a gorgeous girl, 10/10, that is seven years older than me, she is 32 and I am 25. I met her a month and half ago spontaneously in a Super Market in the evening. She walked to me and I started talking to her, she was very open and I felt a chemistry.

Well, attraction is not a choice. She obviously liked him and she walked over to see what he was about, and he handled himself well and a conversation started. So good job on that.

We walked out of the super market and went for a walk for like one hour. She was very affectionate, talking touching and bumping into me.

So she showed him all the signs that she’s attracted. She’s into him. And this is what’s beautiful about understanding attraction is not a choice. She already likes you. And so as you spend time together, she feels safe, she feels comfortable, and now she’s bumping into him to give him an invitation that, “hey, touching is okay. I’d like for you to reciprocate.” That’s just the subtle ways that women do that.

I wanted to shoot my shots, so I invited her to my place for a glass of wine and she agreed. We had the Indoor Olympics the same night. After that it went well for one week and a half, during that time she was chasing me and texting she came at my place two times then everything went sideways. She had to go to a trip for the weekend with friends. After the trip I waited seven days and I sent her a text that I wanted to see her, but she was lukewarm and cold, saying she is busy.

So what you’re noticing there is there’s a pullback at some point. And so it’s also, she spent the better part of a week coming over, hanging out, having fun and hooking up. We assume the sex was good. Because normally women don’t walk away from a dude when sex is really good. It’s usually if it’s not good or it’s not passionate or he just didn’t take the time. And if he’s doing and saying things to talk her out of liking him. And so women tend to act like cats.

And so he spends about a week, week and a half talking, texting, hanging out, having fun, hooking up. She goes out of town and all of a sudden she seems to be a little more distant. Since she just met her and she was pretty aggressive, it’s quite possible that there might be an ex or an ex-boyfriend in the picture, because women tend to understand better than men that the best thing after a breakup is to find somebody else.

Us guys tend to take a little bit longer to stew about a breakup than the women do. And plus, women are typically, if they’re attractive, are usually always getting hit on. So there’s always other choices or maybe male orbiters in their life. And so you just don’t know what you don’t know. And so the idea is like The Book talks about is you’re creating the conditions where you start hanging out, having fun and hooking up. And so if she’s all over you for a week, week and a half, then all of a sudden she gets a little cold.

Maybe an ex was on the trip, or maybe she met a different guy on the trip who maybe she knew him longer. Or maybe she had hooked up with him before. Or it was things he was doing and saying over the course of that week, week and a half, that they were together. And so at the end of a week, week and a half of hanging out and having fun and hooking up, she seems to have gone cold after the trip. He says, he waits seven days and so she goes on a trip for a weekend.

I assume that means he waited till the following weekend, or maybe that following Monday. Maybe he didn’t hear from her at all. And so she’s all over him, and then he doesn’t hear from her for seven days. He might have done and said things when he was with her to talk her out of liking him. Because normally, if only a few, 2 or 3 days will go by, and then she’ll be back in touch, and then you make the next date. But as it talks about in The Book, the fallback position is, “hey, if you don’t hear from her, if all of a sudden you don’t hear from this girl for seven days, then I would get in touch.”

And so either he did things to turn her off or his game was pretty good. And there was another guy, maybe an ex or somebody else she had been dating that went sideways. And you just happened to run into her when she was in the right headspace, where it didn’t look like it was going to work out with the guy she really liked. And there you are.

And things were hot and heavy, and then all of a sudden she’s going out of town. Maybe that dude is there, maybe he’s part of her peer group. You don’t really know. It’s going to be one or the other. Either he made mistakes, or there was another guy already in the picture that she was already emotionally bonded to. It’s just you don’t know what you don’t know. So the fallback position is, he waits a week.

After the trip I waited seven days and I sent her a text that I wanted to see her, but she was lukewarm and cold, saying she is busy.

So she’s definitely not excited to see him for whatever reason.

I told her to give me a call when she is more enthusiastic. 

I would have probably just said, “hey, well, give me a call when your schedule frees up. I’d love to see you.” And you just leave it at that. But saying, “hey, call me when you’re more enthusiastic.” It almost sounds like that can come across as you’re a little butthurt. I wouldn’t have phrased it that way. The idea is you’re trying to be smooth, and it’s just much smoother to assume she’s busy, and to, “get back in touch when her schedule frees up.”

But to just say, “she’s not very enthusiastic”, even though you know she’s enthusiastic. It’s you calling that out how, “Hey, you lack enthusiasm to see me.” That’s not the kind of thing you want to rub in her face, because it can make you look like you’re a little butthurt over it. And if you’re looking butthurt, you’re looking weak. And that’s going to lessen her attraction and cause it to be a much longer time before you hear back from her.

A whole month passed and I didn’t hear from her, however yesterday night I had a date with another woman. During the date I received a text from her stating “hey” at 11 PM at night. I waited till next day to reply. Asking her to see each other, but she was a bit sad and told me that she wanted to see me last night and she missed me.

So if a woman is texting you at 11:00 at night and says, “Hey”, if you’re free, you just say, “come over.” But he was on a date with another girl at that particular time. I mean, if he was available, maybe he’d already taken the other girl home or she had gone home or whatever. And you haven’t heard from a girl in a month.

And she’s like, “hey”, at 11:00 at night, she wants a booty call. And the easy thing to do is just say, “come over.” You don’t have to say anything else, “come over.” That’s it. And she’ll 99% of the time say, “all right, I’ll see you in 20 minutes”, or “I’ll be there in a half hour or an hour”, whatever it happens to be, however long it takes her to get ready. And depending on how far away she lives from you.

I waited till the next day to reply, asking to see each other, but she was a bit sad and told me she wanted to see me last night and she missed me.

In other words, she wanted a booty call. Probably had a few cocktails in her. She was feeling a little lonely and she starts going through her phone. Who does she know? Who hasn’t she talked to in a while?

I told her that I was busy last night but would be really glad to see her when she is free. She blatantly replied, “Well since you were busy last night I am busy today so…”

She’s kind of being difficult. What she’s really saying is, “hey, now I’m sober and I don’t really need a booty call.” Maybe she got it from somebody else. Maybe she called a different guy who was more responsive.

I replied, “Well, how about tomorrow or another day what’s your availability when do you want to see each other?”

I would have never. You never say something like that. I would have just said, “well, when are you free so we can get together? I’d love to see you.” That’s all you need to say. But when you start talking, like, “when do you want to see each other?”

That’s asking her to be the leader, asking her to make the choice. And you’re communicating a lack of leadership when you send something like that. I know you’ve been following me a long time. Eight years, I think he said it was. You shouldn’t be texting things like that. After following me for eight years.

She replied that she doesn’t know. I replied, “I will be waiting for you to get back to me when you are free and figure out your schedule, shoot me a text.”

I would have just said, “no problem. When you figure out your schedule, get back to me. Get in touch. I’d love to see you.” That’s it. Very simple. But the way you say it, “I will be waiting for you, Your Highness. Oh, I can’t wait. I’m going to be having my phone 24/7 and looking at it. And I can’t wait to see your name pop up in it again.” It’s just the what you’re actually saying in your text is not smooth.

She hearted the message and that was it. Would you give me some insight? When I ask her for her availability days in advance, she avoids the question and never gives me a straight answer.

Well, quite frankly, you’re some of your responses were kind of weak, and you’re asking her to make a choice. And when you haven’t heard from her in a month and then you just kind of text things like that, you just sound like a guy that more than likely, after reading these texts and his text replies, he probably was doing and saying things when he was with her the last time that turned her off.

You know, he spent a week, week and a half hanging out, having fun and hooking up with her. Then all of a sudden she goes cold. So judging from the text, I would have to say more than likely. He probably put his foot in his mouth, and did and said things that kind of turned her off and made himself look weak and unattractive. But after a month went by, she tried to arrange a booty call.

It was a last minute thing, but then the next day when he’s texting her, he’s just kind of putting his foot in his mouth and reminding her that his game’s not really tight, he’s not really smooth, he doesn’t have it together. He’s not super confident. And so therefore she kind of disappeared for a whole month, probably because you turned her off. And then she gets back in touch and your text replies are lacking in confidence and being direct.

Just not smooth in how he handled it. Because if he formed a picture in her mind a month and a half ago that she went from being super into him to not that into him, then what ends up happening is she gets back in touch a month later, and he reminds her of why she ghosted him a month ago. And so therefore he turns her off once again.

She only comes at late hours in the night at my place.

Because it’s a booty call.

Seems she is hiding from someone probably she is married or has boyfriend.

Well, your job is to create an opportunity for sex to happen anyways. It’s being direct, being decisive, getting to the point and not putting your foot in your mouth and saying things or texting long winded texts that kind of don’t make any sense.

And on top of that, like I said, when I read the text, he just doesn’t look like a guy that’s leading and knows what he’s doing or is sure of himself. He sounds like a guy that’s used to getting jerked around by women. So what happens? He, in essence, invites her to jerk him around, which she does. Because it makes him look weak.

Because we are living in a small town. What would you suggest me to do?

Well, you told her to get in touch when she figures out her schedule, so be congruent with that. There’s nothing else you can do. But it’s like you got to be direct, and you got to be decisive and get to the point and understand if it’s 10:00, nine, ten, 11:00 at night. And she’s like, “Heyyy”. That’s just a booty call. Just say, “come over.” Your job is to make the opportunity for sex to happen.

You don’t need to take her out on a date or be all official and wait three days to go on a date. It’s just if she’s texting you late at night, invite her over. That’s what she’s looking for. And then if it’s always that way, that’s what happens. All relationships tend to start as casual hanging out, having fun, and hooking up. Even if she was dating another guy or broke up with another guy.

Because the worst thing you could do in these situations where the girl has just had a breakup is try to be too serious too soon and start treating her like a girlfriend. You want to be the guy that’s the escape from her life. That’s easy going, easy to get along with, doesn’t get upset. He’s right to the point. He knows what she’s looking for. She knows what he’s looking for, and he just makes it happen. With minimal effort, minimal texting, and preferably no drooling all over her.

Seems like she only wants to see me whenever she feels like it and doesn’t value my time.

See this gives you insight into his mentality. He’s all butthurt about this. He’s taking it personally. And so from that I can tell that’s his self-perception. That his reality filter is naturally to be one of, “Oh, she doesn’t care. She doesn’t like me. She’s going to reject me.” And so if I can see that in the words he chooses in his email, she can definitely feel that when she’s around him. And so it doesn’t take much of his texting back and forth and putting his foot in his mouth to remind her, “Oh, now I remember when I stopped talking to that guy a month ago.”

Thinking that I am staying home waiting her to be on her beck and call man servant. Did I handle this well?

No. You shouldn’t be getting upset like this.

And what to do if she keeps rejecting my date offers and implies hers out of sudden without arranging anything with me thinking I should throw everything in the air and start to bark like a little dog.

Bob

Again, you shouldn’t be getting butthurt over this. Women are like cats, and the way she’s behaving is she just wants an easy way to make a booty call. Be glad that she got in touch. You know this is just how women are. If you think about it, it’s like for any of you guys that have pets, or cats, or dogs or whatever, especially if you don’t know them very well, you’ve got friends that have pets. What happens, is they tend to come over, they look at you, and then they want to be petted for a while, especially cats. And then they leave. But if a cat comes over and wants to hang out and you go, “AH!” You know, it’s going to freak out and it’s going to run away, you’re going to scare it.

And that’s kind of like what you’re doing when the girl starts to miss you and think about you, you’re like, “oh, I’m mad. Oh, oh.” It’s like you get angry and upset and butthurt and you take it personally. Don’t take it personally. It’s like Rumi said, “Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.” Be enchanted, be grateful. Be glad that she got in touch and just arrange the next opportunity for sex to happen. Be glad to hear from her. And so if you come from that place and that’s your mentality and your mindset, your texts will be shorter and they won’t be dripping with hostility or you won’t be butthurt.

Or like her responding to you is somehow a slight against your manhood because I can pick up on it. You got a negative mindset. It’s not helping you. And because of your negative mindset, that is influencing the words that you’re choosing when you’re sending your texts. So before you think you’re going to respond to a message when you hear from her, think about, “what would the charming James Bond do if he was happy to hear from her?”

If he had 3 or 4 other girls, he was hanging out, having fun and hooking up, and everything was easygoing, easy to get along with. And a girl you haven’t talked to in a few weeks or a month gets back in touch. You’d be like, “oh wow, so great to hear from her. It’s so great to hear from you. I’d love to see you.” You want to be excited. It’s like when a dog wants to come over and be petted, or a cat wants to jump in your lap. Be joyful, be glad. Be grateful that it’s there.

Don’t be like, “AH!” And freak it out, because they’re like, “whoa!” Don’t upset you. They’re gonna stay away. They’re not going to feel safe with you. So he’s giving off a little bit of the Jack-In-The-Box energy. And again, it’s just his mindset is disempowering instead of empowering. So you got to think about your self-talk and the way you’re perceiving things. Never, ever take the way a woman shows up personally. It has nothing to do with you. It just has to do with how she is feeling.

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