How To Be Playful & Non-Serious To Attract Women

How to be playful & non-serious with women to create attraction instead of boring them.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who’s starting to practice being playful and non-serious with women to create attraction. He says he’s always a little too intellectual and serious around women and wonders where the fine line of balance is. He shares what he did and said with two hot waitresses while he was waiting for a takeout order that had a positive effect on them. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “How To Be Playful & Non-Serious To Attract Women”.

So this particular email is from a viewer who basically says that he knows he’s a little too intellectual and too serious around women, and he’s kind of wondering where the fine line of balance is. And so recently, I guess there’s this restaurant that he goes into and it’s a Thai restaurant. And while he does takeout for lunch or dinner or whatever, he usually waits for 5 or 10 minutes until his food is ready. And he’s been there like 20 times.

And one of the cute girls that’s there, he decided, “You know what? I’m gonna be a little bit more playful and kind of treat her like a bratty little sister and see how that goes.” And so he does that, and has a really good positive experience. Has her laughing. And then another one of the really hot girls that works there comes over and wants to join in, because it looks like him and the other waitress are having a really good time. And so she starts bantering with them.

So it’s a good email, especially for you guys that maybe kind of have a broomstick jammed up your ass, and you’re a little too serious and you’re not as playful as you could be. Like I discussed in 3% Man, the idea is 90% of the time you want to be the charming James Bond, and 10% of the time you’re going to kind of treat her like the bratty little sister. One thing you don’t want to do is when you’re teasing girls, you don’t want to tease every single thing that comes out of their mouth and try to make a joke out of everything.

Because if you do that for a few minutes, then it’s going to look like you’re acting a little weird or something is off, and then that’s going to cause her attraction to drop like a rock. You’re just not going to come off as authentic. So you want to do the bratty little sister in small doses. Unlike little Elon, who’s under my chair and he’s fucking crop dusting me. God. So I’ll try to concentrate until this gas dissipates.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey, 

I’ve been following your work for a while, but only recently did the idea of being playful and flirtatious really click for me. I thought I’d share my epiphany because it might make for great content and I think a lot of guys can relate with what I’m saying. I’d also love to hear your thoughts on if I’m going about this the right way. There’s this girl at a Thai restaurant I go to, and I usually chat with her for five to ten minutes while waiting for my to-go order. I’ll say something like “what are you up to today?”

And you could say, “What are your plans for the weekend?” That’d be a good one to ask, especially if you see her all the time.

She’ll reply, and we’ll get talking about her work, or what she’s doing for the holidays, or how good their green tea. The conversations we usually have are the same vibe that I would have with a guy friend. 

Well, love is playful and fun. It’s not serious. But it doesn’t mean you got to be a jokester and try to make a joke out of every word that comes out of her mouth. Because if you do that, you’ll have the opposite effect.

Today, I tried something completely different when I went into the restaurant. I walked in with the simple mindset of” I’m going to focus 100% on teasing her in a light, playful and flirtatious way. I’m going to drop the logical conversations and instead make it 100% fun and silly. It’s not something I usually do, especially as a more intellectual guy. 

Well, think of it as like catnip. 10% of the time you can be that way. The other 90% of the time, you’re a good listener, charming James Bond, and occasionally you break your balls about stuff.

I went in and she was taking her jacket off. I said, “what are you slacking back there?” She laughed. I looked her dead in the eyes and asked her if I could call to pay later since I forgot my card. She said, “I guess so, but can I trust you?” I said, “that’s debatable” with a smirk. She got my food and gave me a free drink.

Well, that was nice.

I said, “oh god, what’s in this?” She said, “a ton of caffeine.” I said, “are you trying to drug me?”

These are good.

The whole time smiling and talking to her like she’s my little sister and I’m just giving her a hard time. 

But you’re giving her a hard time with a smile on your face. That’s the important thing. Or kind of a smirk. Like if you ever watched the movie charade with Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn. The way he deadpan deliveries, he almost is, like, slightly irritated, but also kind of non-serious. And she often looks at him in the movie like, “are you serious? Are you fucking with me?” And as soon as she notices, he went a little too far. He was a little bit too much of a dick. Then he, you know, lets her know that he’s just messing with her.

He’s like, “Come on, don’t take things so personally. Just messing with you.” So it’s important. This is why if you’re trying to, do crack jokes, why say it’s best for most guys if they don’t try to crack jokes over text because they often won’t land. Especially if they don’t know your sense of humor. This is why you want to do it in person, or at least if you’re talking on video so you can see the facial reaction so you can see the body language. That’s the important thing.

If there was ever a moment where a truly more serious reply was warranted, I would talk normally. But for the most part, it was all fun and non-serious banter. A few minutes into our chat, this really hot server came over to us to hangout. I think she sensed the playful vibe, because I’ve been there 20 times and she’s never walked over to us.

Yeah, it’s just the energy. The energy is, “oh, it’s fun and playful over there. What’s going on?” Girls just want to have fun. Just like Cyndi Lauper said so many decades ago.

I turned to her and said, “your coworker is trying to drug me. I’m uncomfortable.”

See, that’s the kind of thing you deliver with a total straight face. Maybe with a little kind of slight irritation. Again, Cary Grant is the best if you want to capture that on video. The movie, “Charade”, is one of the best ones. There’s also, I think, “Philadelphia Story” with, um, what’s her name, Katharine Hepburn, where he was kind of the same way. He was just great at that deadpan delivery, that kept women going, “ah, is this guy fucking with me or is he serious?”

She laughed. One of them shot a playful jab at me and we kept going back and forth. Later on, I literally said, “go fuck yourself” to one of them in a completely joking way.

Go fuck yourself. You do it just like that.

And it wasn’t weird at all because it was in response to them teasing me about something, that’s just where the vibe was. Walking in, I never in a million years imagined myself being able to say “go fuck yourself” to a hot waitress.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

To a hot waitress I had never met, but it just landed because the teasing and joking had built up so much. 

Well, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

When I left, I felt like a million bucks, and I had fun doing it. I also felt like there was this sense of connection built between the three of us really quickly. It was like we were all old friends, but at the same time, a friend they found attractive. The craziest thing about all of this is that not once did we talk about the weather, or school, or any other subject. The entire conversation was bullshit, basically. 

That’s the whole point. It’s fun. Love is playful and fun. So I think overall you did an outstanding job judging by their reactions and the things you said. So. But like I said earlier, the key is not to get awkward and weird and do it in a way that where you’re trying to make fun of every single thing that comes out of their mouth, then the vibe will change and go sideways on you. But if you ever take it too far, you can just go, “I’m just fucking with you. Don’t take it seriously. Don’t take anything that comes out of my mouth seriously. I’m just goofing.”

P.S. you said to talk to all women the same. I run my own business and have a lot of hot, married clients. Should I tease them like this?

Sometimes. Again, 10% you treat them like the bratty little sister, 90% of the time you’re the charming James Bond, and you’re asking questions and you’re getting them to talk. But if the conversation just gets too serious for too long. Crack a joke, break their balls, that kind of thing.

Should I tease my mom like this?

Yeah. Just not in a sexual way.

I’m half joking and cringing when I ask you that, but I know you say that repetition is the mother of skill. 

Best, 

Bob

He put reputation in here. So I tease all the women in my life. I fuck with them, just not all the time, but occasionally when they say something that they deserve to get fucked with, I’m going to fuck with them because that’s just my personality. So I do with my aunt, my stepmom. I do it with anybody that I know or that knows me well. Especially when they say something stupid or whatever. And you know, I love teasing my aunt. She’s a good sport. She’s a lot of fun. And she watches most of my videos, so I’m sure she’ll be watching this and getting a chuckle. I’ll hear about it at Christmas.

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