How To Become More Courageous, Outgoing & Social

How to become more courageous, outgoing and social so you can reach your full potential.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss 11 questions from a client who I had a recent phone session with. His challenge is being more social, outgoing and courageous so he can get outside of his comfort zone and start creating more opportunities to create new and supportive friendships and identify women who are good candidates to date.

He’s always been too quite and reserved and this inhibits creating the life he’s always dreamed of. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

I got a list of 11 questions, and these were from a client that I had a phone session with a couple of weeks ago. One of the things that was an issue for him, he’s 24, is he’s just not been very outgoing, very social, kind of more withdrawn. Obviously reading 3% Man and then applying what’s in there can be a little difficult for people that tend to be more quiet, more introverted, more reserved, instead of more outgoing. So I’m just going to start and take these questions in order.

For those of you guys that kind of have the same issue, you’re a little timid, you’re a little shy, you’re not as outgoing. Not only will that typically have a negative effect in your personal life, as far as who you date, it’ll make it difficult for you to create and nurture new friendships. Plus being able to just go and get a job, walk into an office in a nice suit and clothes with your resume and a nice folder, and then speak to the human resources person, or the owner or the manager, whoever makes those hiring decisions.

Being a man, being courageous, being masculine. What is masculine energy? Purpose, drive, mission, succeeding, accomplishing, breaking through barriers, overcoming challenges.T his is what men are all about. So we have to take action, as men, in order to make the things in our life happen. Just like when you look at it from a purely pick up standpoint, what it’s like for women versus guys? If the woman is pretty, she’s typically going to get approached. She doesn’t really have to go out and be outgoing and pursue men to have interest from men. Whereas us guys, typically we’ve got to make the effort, we’ve got to make the approach, we’ve got to get the phone number, we’ve got to set the date, we’ve got to go pick her up or we’ve got to make the dinner reservations. We’ve got to slowly escalate things throughout the evening on a date that ultimately leads to a seduction in the bedroom, where that seduction happens on your first date, your second third date, or on your wedding night if you’re super religious.

As a man, we have to take action in order to get the things that you want in life. You’re going to have to take action. You’re going to have to get outside of your comfort zone. When you get outside of your comfort zone, this helps you grow, this helps you expand as a human being. Therefore, you become more confident, you become more sure of your actions, but there’s always a bigger challenge to take on.

Being a young guy as this dude is 24 years old, if he wants to reach his full potential in life, he’s going to have to open that big hole in his face more often, to the point where talking to strangers out in public, or talking to somebody about a business deal or a potential client, it’s just something that happens easily and effortlessly without much thinking about it. If you’ve never really taken the time to develop these skills and practice it, and then you’re starting to do it for the first time, especially like this guy, he’s 24 now, it’s going to be a lot harder.

Myself personally, when I was a kid, I was always more introverted, I was more quiet. I was more like all my friends that I hung out with. Even to this day, all my closest friends are extremely outgoing. They’re always talking, they’re always telling stories. What they always loved about me is a friend, is always been a great listener, a great teammate and a great companion. I was like the Robin to their Batman, if you will, and it always has been great.

Same thing with the women that I date. Women that I date tend to be more outgoing, expressive, talkative. I tend to be more introverted and like to listen and take the room in before I open my mouth. I like to size everybody up in the room. I ‘m usually the quiet one, and then once I’ve kind of taken it all in and sized everybody up, then I tend to have things to say.

When you’re younger and you don’t know any better, oftentimes you’ll say things and out of turn or you get a little cocky, and you shouldn’t be. Then when you get too cocky, you get too full of yourself, as Jocko Willink likes to say, “Be humble or you will be humbled.”

Viewer’s Email:

Hi Corey,

My name is Bob, we had a phone session this past Tuesday. You mentioned you would do a video newsletter for 10-12 additional self-help questions I have that we did not have time for on the phone. In case it is relevant to your answers, I am 24 years old. The questions are below.

1. I find myself sometimes having boring conversations with people. What advice do you have to become more open, expressive, “risky,” and genuine in everyday conversations, particularly with new people?

Well, you’ve got to get in the habit of taking a sincere, authentic interest in other people, being curious about other people. If you’re tend to be introverted and shy and it’s not something you really feel like doing, because a lot of guys that have a hard time conversing with other people, especially women, they’re always focused on, “What do I say? What do I do? What stories do I tell?”

In reality, what creates human rapport, anybody that’s been in sales, typically people that actually are in sales do really well with my book, creating rapport and creating a friendship really is about asking questions and being interested in who the other person is. When you’re focused on talking about things with somebody that they’re really super interested in, it makes it easy to ask open ended questions, and then they’ll do most of the talking. That creates rapport, because what do you do when you see somebody that you’re close to, “Hey, how have you been? What have you been up to lately? How’s the wife? How’s the kids? How’s that girl you were seeing? You still live with your girlfriend? How’s your parents? Where’d you grow up? What’d you do this weekend?”

You ask those kinds of questions that you really want to know what’s going on with them. We all love to talk about ourselves. Human beings, our favorite person to talk about is us. When we come across somebody who really wants to listen to us, the reality is most people live kind of boring lives. Even those girls that you think are super hot and interesting. What are they typically doing on a weekend, sitting around the pool, scrolling through their phone, not really doing a whole hell of a lot, people that we perceive have such exciting and interesting lives, they’re just regular people. So don’t put anybody on a pedestal.

Take a sincere, authentic interest and really develop your skills of just asking people the kinds of questions that they would enjoy answering, whatever the venue is that you happen to be at, or the social function. You can use things and people in that particular environment as conversation starters to talk about what’s going on with the people around you or the stuff that you’re involved in that is around you. You have to make it a habit, because if you haven’t done it enough, what’s going on there? You don’t have confidence.

Well, what is confidence? Confidence is doing what you know how to do and doing it really well. If you’ve never been really risky or outgoing or starting conversations with other people, the only way you’re going to get better, repetition is the mother of skill, is to open that big hole in your face and just start asking questions. Be curious about other people, and a good place to do that is somewhere like a mall, or a beer and wine festival, or some kind of art fair, or an art gallery. Anything that you can do where there’s stuff to observe and participate in, where you can ask questions of the people that are there, that tend to be the experts, and just get in the habit of asking people’s opinions on things.

2. What advice do you have for breaking free from past constraints or an identity I have with certain people/groups of people as I go through personal growth?

When you’re younger, which you’re going to notice, especially if you’re a high achieving type of person like I tend to be, is that especially after high school and then college is over, you get into your mid 20s, you start to notice that there starts to become like a separation, and the friends and the people that you hang out with, if you’re goal oriented, action oriented, you have big goals, you have big dreams, you have positive belief in yourself, that eventually with enough time and a long enough timeline, you’re going to accomplish what it is that you want and reach your full potential. You’ll come across other people that are kind of on that same path and that same journey, and they’ll offer positive words of encouragement for you and vice versa.

You’ll also notice that there are friends, people that you love, that you grew up with, that you care about are just kind of committed to being mediocre. Now, it doesn’t mean that they’re bad people, as long as they’re supportive of what you’re doing and not trying to sandbag your success, as Nick Saban said, “Mediocre people don’t like high achievers, and high achievers don’t like mediocre people.” Mediocre people tend to insult, condescend to and belittle people that are more successful than them, just so they feel better about the fact that they’re not successful and they’re not doing what deep down they know they should be doing.

Just because one of your friends or people that you grew up with doesn’t really have huge goals or huge ambition, maybe he’s just a simple guy, he likes a simple life. I’ve got an old friend that I grew up with and he came from a very successful family, and he’s one of the nicest, kindest people I’ve ever met. I can’t even remember in 40 years that I’ve known this dude, he’s never gotten mad or gotten upset at me, or pissed off or dicked me over or anything. He’s always been a good, loyal friend. Even though his parents were wealthy and successful, he got a job working for the government and he’s not super excited about the job, but it paid really well, had great benefits, and that’s where he ultimately met his wife and who he married and had a family with. They’re just regular, everyday people, and he’s one of the happiest dudes that I know.

He doesn’t care about a big super giant house and expensive cars and Rolexs and things of that nature. He just wants to have a good life with good friends and good people. He’s always been positive. He always has positive words of encouragement. Again, he came from money. So it’s like he doesn’t really care about this stuff. You could look at that and say, “Well, he’s just kind of a mediocre dude,” but he’s very happy. He’s very content with his life. His kids are about to graduate college now, and he’s still happy and he’s fun as hell to be around. He’s like the same guy, the same dude for 40 years. I didn’t cut him out of my life permanently because he didn’t have the same goals and ambition as me. He’s always kind of remained on my team just because he was a good dude.

You have to take people on a case by case basis. Some people you will leave behind. I have had another friend that I grew up with. This guy had every advantage, came from a wealthy, successful family. His family is very loving. This dude is incredibly handsome. He was fucking all the hot girls in high school, but he had a drinking problem and when he drank, he turned into like an angry, unhappy dude that wanted to fight everybody. He was in and out of rehab, I don’t know, 15, 20 times? However many times it was. Eventually he ended up rear ending a couple as he was driving home one night and they lost control of their car. Both of them were killed in the car crash and then he ended up getting sent to prison, like 15, 20 years I think it was, because he had so many DUIs and he had so many infractions, he had been in so many run-ins with the law because of his drinking issue, and eventually he got paroled after like 10 or 12 years. It was a matter of months where he fucked up again, went back to drinking. Now he’s back in prison.

The guy had every advantage. Handsome, charming, smart, successful family. When he was working before he got sent to prison, he was doing well, but he just completely wrecked his life and unfortunately killed two people because he was a drunk, because he had no self-control. That particular guy, I stopped hanging out with him when we were 19, just because I didn’t want to go out and have to get in a fight every time we went out, because as soon as he got drunk, he’d want to fight everybody. That wasn’t fun. That particular guy, I left him behind. People like that you need to leave behind, because all they’re going to do is drag you down to their level and be a bad influence. So you really have to take it on a case-by-case basis.

3. I never learned the natural process of eye contact, when to hold it and when to look away, etc. Sometimes I look too long at people. Yesterday I had a stare down with a stranger until his girlfriend said hi to me to break the tension.

Well, the idea is not to try to intimidate guys or give them a pissed off look. It’s just making eye contact not with an angry look on your face.

If you come across a guy that’s an alpha and you make mutual eye contact, just a nod of the head, it’s just like a respect from one dude to another is all you have to do. Don’t have an angry look on your face and stare down at some big bulky guy because that’s like challenging a silver-back. You’re not there to intimidate people. You’re just there to look at them and you could smile back or have a little grin on your face. It’s not a big deal, but you’re not trying to intimidate people. It’s not a staring contest. It’s just that you look where you want to look and you look away when you want to look away.

I don’t want to do eye contact-overkill but I fucking hate looking to the side first. How do I manage this with strangers?

Again, repetition is the mother of skill. You’re going to have to practice it. It’s not a staring contest and you don’t want to have an angry look on your face because when you have an angry look in your face and you stare down dudes, they’re going to think that you’re challenging them. It’s just a matter of fact, as you’re just kind of looking around and you make eye contact with a guy. Typically with that, when you don’t look away, the other guy will typically nod his head to you out of a sign of respect. If you feel any tension, like the guy is getting a little irritated, just give him a little tip with your head. Just saying it’s like a sign of respect from one alpha to another, one silver-back to another silver-back.

4. What are the masculine traits I should strive to adopt in my life? And if I was starting from ground zero, what would be the best strategy to build these up?

Well again, what is masculine energy? Purpose, drive, mission, succeeding, accomplishing, breaking through barriers, overcoming challenges, expanding.

At the end of the day, as a man, you get paid based upon the value that you bring to the marketplace. You’re going to get paid for your reserve of knowledge and your gifts, your skills and your talents that you develop through time and repetition. Anything that makes you more competent, more successful, more knowledgeable, gives you more wisdom, gives you more real world experience, especially studying from other people like myself.

I would highly recommend that you read Mastering Yourself, which you can also read for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just subscribe to the email newsletters, put your name and your email address in the boxes, and then hit submit and it’ll open up right in your web browser, and you can read the book right on my website, totally for free.

As a man, when you grow, when you expand, you become more successful, you become more competent. What happens? You become more confident as a result. What is confidence? Like I said earlier, confidence is doing what you know how to do and doing it really well, which always comes through time and repetition. Anything that can build your body up, that can make you more dangerous but kind, whether it’s martial arts or training with knives or training with pistol and rifle, night vision, or however far you want to take things, anything that can make you dangerous but kind as a man is a good thing.

I’m sure all the little lefties and the little snowflakes, they’ll get upset talking about guns and how silly it is. Those are always the beta males that bitch and complain about that. There’s nothing alpha about trying to say that everybody else needs to be disarmed. Only a bitch thinks that way. That’s a fact of life. That’s why the alphas don’t like it when you want to take their guns away. That’s just a fact of life. There’s nothing masculine about being disarmed and saying, “I want the state to take care of me.” The reality is, is that most people that train with pistol and rifle are way better with pistol and rifle than most the average police officer is. The average police officer gets maybe four hours of firearms training per year. All you have to do is watch police shooting videos, and you can see how badly and how poorly they perform. The stats are somebody that’s a concealed carry permit holder versus a somebody in law enforcement.

Somebody that’s concealed carry is, in other words, a cop is three times more likely to shoot an innocent person by accident than somebody who’s concealed carry. You say, “Well, why is that?” It’s simple repetition. Repetition is the mother of skill. People that are going to go through the process of getting their concealed carry take firearms training and safety seriously. So if they ever have to use their pistol or their rifle, they’re not going to miss typically. Most cops, I mean, look at them, look at most police officers. A lot of them are fat fucks. They’re fat, they’re out of shape and they’re fucking incompetent. When they start shooting their pistol, they typically miss a lot. They typically empty their magazines and they don’t hit anything. That’s a fact of life.

I know it’s going to upset the snowflakes, but I don’t fucking care. Anybody that says people need to be disarmed and only the government should have it, what you’re calling for is to have mostly incompetent people that are poorly trained to be the only ones that have the weapons in society. That’s just ridiculous.

5. On our call, you mentioned that I should follow my intuition and go after things that interest me (on my journey to building a business). Is it really that fucking simple? Why does it seem all the other advice I’ve heard over-complicates things?

Well, I don’t know what other advice you’ve heard, but all I can do is speak from experience.

As a lifelong entrepreneur who came from a family of entrepreneurs, the reality is you’re going to work harder at things you love and you enjoy, and that you’re curious about versus things that you’re doing because you think you’re going to make a ton of money off of it. Things that you’re doing for money, as soon as it gets hard and it gets difficult, which it always does in business, being an entrepreneur, you’ll quit. You’ll give up because you’re not really committed to the product or service, but if you love what you’re doing, if you’re passionate about the product, if you’re passionate about the service that you’re trying to build, you’ll keep working at it even when you’re not making money at it, I detailed this extensively in Mastering Yourself.

It’s like what Steve Jobs said, “You got to follow your heart, your curiosity and your intuition because they somehow already know what you want to become.” There’s a great video that was from 2006, and it was Steve Jobs speaking. It’s the Stanford commencement speech, and it was one of the best speeches I’ve ever seen talking about this, because that was the one thing that he really harped on that really helped him was, he focused on doing things he really loved and he really enjoyed because it’s hard. It’s hard being an entrepreneur. It’s hard having your own business and making it successful. The only way you stick with something is with when you really have a passion for it.

There are plenty of things that I got into that seemed cool and seem like they’d be great money making opportunities, but because I wasn’t that excited about it, I didn’t stick with it. I wrote about several of them in Mastering Yourself. It’s a process. It’s not flipping a switch. What I found in real estate is I got into buying, fixing and selling and flipping single family homes, but because I was in the business of all that, I was in the finance side, I was in the acquisition side, I was in the selling side. The real estate side is that I saw an opportunity to do regular real estate and mortgages, in addition to all the investment properties that we were doing. It was in the process of doing something I love, I just discovered another potential revenue stream and develop that, and that became very successful because I had a passion for it.

6. What have you found is your most effective method of goal setting? Do you visualize? How frequently? Do you follow Napoleon Hill’s advice to a T?

I don’t think I’ve ever read Napoleon Hill’s book. I may have thumbed through it when I was in my 20s, I don’t remember. As far like when I first started out, when I was in my early 20s, I started doing goal setting. I would write them down and for a lot of years I would have it stuck to the back of my medicine cabinet, or I would have a list and I would review it every day or a couple of days just to remind myself of that. What is most effective for achieving your goals is, number one, you got to know what it is that you want. Number two, you got to know why do you want that? Number three, you got to have compelling reasons, which are the fire that keep you motivated when things are difficult.

Again, know what you want, know why you want it and you got to have most compelling reasons why you want to accomplish it. If the reasons why you’re doing something aren’t very emotionally compelling, then as soon as it gets hard, you’ll just give up and you’ll quit. So you really have to have a burning desire to achieve something in order to stick with it when things get hard.

7. I have a few long-running friendships where our goals and values are not too well aligned. I am uncertain if I should limit my time with them or cut them off completely. What is your decision-making process for this like?

Well, actually I already addressed that in the previous question, where I was talking about my buddy from high school who grew up, his family was wealthy and he ended up taking a government job. He’s not super in love with the job, but he likes it. It’s satisfying, and he stuck with it and he’s very content. He’s very happy. He’s still one of the happiest people I know. Then the opposite was a guy that had every advantage and just drank himself into prison and killing people, basically. Again, you can rewind the video or go back in the video and watch that part because I already addressed that previously.

8. As you’re aware, our minds have been incessantly plagued by harmful social perceptions from all around us. Would you please touch on the importance of me becoming a capable, confident man and why our society needs more, not less of this?

Well, the word lead means to go first, and whatever you observe, you’re going to participate in. If you’re only consuming what you see on TV, the news, the media, then you can’t help but be propagandized and influenced by that.

That’s another reason why it’s super important to have goals and know what you want, because you’re going to immerse yourself in books like these, like Mastering Yourself, like 3% Man, obviously like the two quotes books that I’ve got out. People that are high achievers are always looking for an edge. They’re looking to learn from people that have already made all the mistakes they’ve had, all the failures they’ve had, the successes and then gone into failure, then recovered from that. Like The Art Of The Comeback. If you ever got into Donald Trump’s books, The Art Of The Deal, which is a great book, and then The Art Of The Comeback, after he had lost everything and got it all back again.

When you learn from other people that are succeeding in the highest level, and you model their success and you do the same kinds of things that they’re doing, you’ll get the same kinds of results in a much shorter period of time. In other words, go learn from people that have already done it and made all the mistakes, because you can cut the learning curve down versus going out and trying to reinvent the wheel and do everything on on your own. Again, I talk about that in detail in Mastering Yourself and how I’ve done that over the course of my life and the different careers and businesses that I’ve had.

9. Is it natural to feel bad when leading someone or is this just a product of a poorly wired belief system? This particularly applies to me when leading someone older than I am.

Well, that was kind of funny. When I was in the construction industry, I looked like a baby. I look like a teenager when I was in my early mid 20s and here I am as a project engineer and I’m on the phone. I’m talking to dudes, superiors, because they’re not getting the job done of guys that are in like their 60s. These are grown ass men, they’re grandparents, some of these people, and here I am, this young kid, and I’m basically babysitting these adults. I just had a job to do and a task to do.

What you’re going to realize is a lot of mediocre, lazy ass people in society, even people, that because they’ve been in a company for a long time, they get promoted because they got tenure and quite frankly, they don’t really deserve it, especially if they’re in a big company where they can kind of hide. That’s just something you have to deal with. In other words, you can feel the fear, you can feel the inadequacy on the inside, but you don’t show it. A leader leads by example, not by force. So you’re just going to have to get over it, dude. It takes time and repetition. You’re only 24, so cut yourself some slack.

10. What is your advice on courageously and unapologetically going after what I want?

Well, we’re all living in bodies that are going to die, and 100, 200 years from now, nobody’s going to give a shit about the girl you didn’t ask out, or that your business had failed, or the rejections that you got, or the fact you didn’t get the tricycle that you wanted when you were five years old from your parents for Christmas, whatever. It doesn’t fucking matter. You’re going to lose everything and everyone you love eventually anyways. Everything you build in life eventually is going to turn to dust. All those buildings, the cars you own, everything, the computers, everything. Eventually all that shit’s going to turn to dust and it won’t be here anymore. You’re going to lose it all anyways, so you might as well spend your life in a way that pleases you, and that makes you happy. Because at the end of the day, most people don’t give a shit.

The people that you’re worried about what they think, they got their own problems, and those people that you’re always thinking about, what they think about you, quite frankly, most of the time they’re not thinking about you. They’re thinking about the stuff that they’ve got to do. So you should live life according to your own expectations, and the reasons why you do things should be your personal reasons and nobody else is. You can’t live your life according to other people’s expectations.

11. On the phone, I asked you to give me a paradigm shift regarding a feeling of guilt when being more confident than those around me. I’m hoping you would re-articulate this as it was beautifully said and had a substantial impact on my perception.

Thanks in advance, Corey. Your books, videos, and our phone session have changed my life for the better. Take care,

Bob

Well, I was saying a moment ago, the word lead means to go first, and the world needs competent, successful people who are getting things done.

We’ve all met people, whether it’s a dude that’s in better shape than us, or a guy who is more confident, outgoing with women than us, or somebody that’s better at storytelling, or somebody that’s more successful. Just being around other people that are more successful than we are makes us feel good. When we see somebody that is doing things we dream of doing, whether we realize it or not, they are unconsciously giving us hope for our own dreams and goals. So you holding back and shrinking from your responsibilities and shrinking from your grandest goals and dreams, instead of being courageous and going after them, it doesn’t serve anybody. It doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t serve the people around you because the world needs leaders.

Again, the word lead means to go first. The world needs more people who are courageous, who are daring, who have big goals, big dreams, and are trying to make the shit happen. Take Elon Musk, for example. You look at him and what he’s done with Tesla, it’s the first successful new car company in the United States in the last 100 years. The original ones were Ford, GM and Chrysler. That was it. Every other car company that came along after that, at some point, they all failed. Yet he’s turned Tesla into a very successful company. The whole purpose of Tesla, its reason for existing, it’s big why is to move the world towards sustainable transport, open sourcing things, selling the technology, selling the self-driving software, selling the sensor, selling the power trains, doing deals with other car companies, everything that Tesla does to innovate they’re, in essence, sharing or licensing to other companies because their goal is to make most cars or the majority of cars be powered by electric.

You can look at like they’re getting a lot of competition in China now because they’ve he has inspired the world. He has inspired all the auto companies. Everybody laughed at him at first, 15, 18 years ago when he was starting Tesla. Now everybody is trying to copy Tesla and catch up. In China, a lot of these companies have caught up and now they’re producing because they get government subsidies. Now they’re able to produce cars even cheaper than Tesla is, even though they’re using a lot of the technology that they, in essence, ripped off from Tesla. That was the purpose of Tesla. That was his goal, was to demonstrate this is what’s possible.

Just look at what he’s done with SpaceX reusable rockets. You got all these Boeing, all these other big companies that are trying to build these big rockets to send stuff into space, and they can’t even get off the fucking launch pad. Meanwhile, Elon Musk, who is not a rocket scientist, he is an engineer, but he’s not a rocket scientist, he built a team of people to say, “We can do this. We want to go to Mars. We want to make human life multi-planetary,” because it’s obvious when you study, if you ever study like, I think Graham Hancock? There’s another one. I can’t think of his name right now, but there has been many catastrophes in human history that seems to have completely reset human population, whether it was earthquakes or meteor strikes or solar flares, whatever it was. It’s pretty obvious in the past that human civilization advanced pretty far and basically got kicked back almost to the Stone Age again because of some cataclysmic event.

That’s just a fact of life, of living on planet Earth. At some point it’s going to happen again. He’s saying, “Let’s build a base on the moon, let’s terraform Mars. Let’s colonize Mars. Let’s go build bases all throughout the solar system, so if anything happens on Earth, we don’t completely lose all the advancement that we’ve made.” When you look at what he’s done, what a great example. Now his rockets, Tesla Spacex is putting more tonnage into orbit, many times more tonnage into orbit than all of the other countries of the world combined, including China. Even the Chinese are like, “Wwe don’t know how you do it, but we just can’t compete with SpaceX. We can’t duplicate the technology. We can’t duplicate what you guys are doing here.” So just by his example of doing things that everybody thought were just insane and impossible and absurd, look what he’s done.

Just with Tesla alone, he showed the world how awesome electric cars can be. Now all the car companies are trying to play catch up. In China, in some cases, they’re even pulling ahead of Tesla and they’re taking their market share away from them so he could have had his golden parachute from PayPal and the other companies. He started early on and just cruise around the world in a yacht for the rest of his life. Instead he’s like, “I got big goals, I got big dreams. I want to show everybody what’s possible,” so he was leading by example. Instead of shrinking, he chose to be courageous. That’s what all of us should be doing, especially every single person that’s watching this video, because you’re in the top percentage percentile of human beings that are self-actualizing.

Self-actualizing people must be what they can be. I’m a self-actualizing person. I have to reach my full potential. I have to do what I believe deep down I can eventually accomplish, because to not do that is really painful. It’s really unpleasant. So that’s why I continue to do these things after I’ve been doing this over 20 years at this point teaching it. I’ve been studying self-help and practicing these principles since I was a kid, since I was a teenager. So I got many, many decades of seeing these things work in my own life and seeing it work in the lives of my clients, my friends, family and people that I know. So don’t shrink.

Be courageous. Open the big hole in your face and get out there and make shit happen, because everybody is watching you, and everybody needs you to be a self-actualizing person. That can be what they want to be. That’s something to think about.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.