How To Form A Deep Emotional Bond With Your Girl

How to form a deep emotional bond with your girl so she makes you her boyfriend.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a 25 year old viewer who met his 19 year old girlfriend on campus. He shares how he slowly built a deep emotional bond with her over the first few months of dating causing her to fall deeply in love despite the fact her ex was still lurking in the background. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “How To Form A Deep Emotional Bond With Your Girl.”

Well, I got an email success story. It’s pretty detailed. This guy is 25 and he met his now 19 year old girlfriend on campus. He’s obviously still in college. And so he just shares how he slowly, because he did everything pretty much textbook. He’s been a really good student. And you know, the other wrinkle that this guy’s got in his particular situation is that if you date enough, you’re going to encounter these. Where you’re going to start meeting and dating a girl who’s had a breakup or a recent breakup, and the ex is still lurking in the background, and your game has got to be tight and it’s got to be smooth.

Because oftentimes guys get in these situations and they act too needy, too neurotic, and they literally chase the girl back into the arms of the ex-boyfriend, or in some cases, the ex-husband. And so in these cases, it’s absolutely critical to let the woman come to you at her pace. Because if you don’t, if you try to force things or rush things or get her to commit to you before she’s emotionally ready, usually she’s going to back away.

She’ll be hot and cold. I mean, women that have had recent breakups are just going to be hot and cold naturally, and you’ve got to be okay with it. You got to be calm, cool and collected and totally indifferent and not get butthurt. And it also helps, especially if you’re kind of new to my work and you haven’t practiced it a lot. You haven’t dated a lot.

What’s in The Book that if you have a couple extra women in the background that you’re dating and you’re practicing with, if the girl you really like is somebody that just broke up with their ex, and especially if they were with the ex for a couple of years, like in this case, the girl is 19, probably your high school boyfriend or whatever and that’s her first love probably.

And it’s just not an easy thing to walk away from. But if you handle things right, if you’re a good student in The Book like this, emailer is within a short period of time. She’s going to be head over heels in love with you and wanting to be exclusive, and the ex will really be a non-issue for you.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

My YouTube username is AM01- here is my story. I would like to point out I was stretching the philosophy here as an experiment to see really what is meant by “the book is a guideline”. 

Yeah, it’s not etched in stone. If you do something that’s the opposite of The Book, and then you do ten things that are perfectly textbook, it’s not the end of the world. The idea is it gives you a philosophy. Because, again, not every situation is perfect and clean. It would have been much better if this guy would have met this girl, and she’d been single for six months or a year or whatever, but there’s an ex lurking in the background and she’s hot. She’s a cheerleader and she likes him. You’re just going to walk away from that? Of course you’re not. Not when you’re 25 and you’re in college and a hot 19 year old is just woah. Who’s that? I got to go talk to her.

I’ve been following your work for seven years, and it’s been a game-changer in my life. I’m 25, and my girlfriend, who’s 19, became my partner after just six weeks of getting to know each other.

Well, week six, usually week six, week seven, if you’re following The Book, is usually when they fall in love and they’re ready to be exclusive. So that’s pretty much textbook. But I mean, this guy’s been following me for seven years, so he’s had really good experience with it. And when you date enough and then you meet somebody like this who really knocks your socks off, things go together pretty easily and effortlessly.

We met on campus when I approached her while she was doing homework. I confidently told her what I liked about her and set up a date right there.

It was probably the first time in her life any dude came over and was just blurted out exactly what he thought. “You’re so hot. You’re beautiful. You take my breath away. You have the most beautiful eyes and hair.” Whatever it is you like about her. “You have a fucking incredible body. You’re the fucking hottest girl I’ve ever seen.” Whatever happens to be whatever you’re thinking, whatever you’re feeling, whatever is in your heart, you just let it out without any fear.

Because it’s your gift to her. It’s your compliment to her. It doesn’t matter whether she’s taken or not. You have to let her know what you think, how she makes you feel, how she stirs your heart or whatever. And women appreciate authenticity and real compliments. Not the phony fucking compliments, but real, brutally honest compliments like that. And it’s incredibly attractive because most dudes just don’t have the balls to do that.

Our first real connection came during winter break when we were four hours apart, I suggested a FaceTime date.

Because if you’re going to date internationally, like, I mean, they’re both in college, but it’s right before the winter break, so you’re probably wet in November or December. You know, usually like first or second week of December is usually when you break for Christmas, and everybody goes back home to spend time with their families. And so something like that. You could do like a FaceTime date once a week.

If the girl really likes you, of course she’s going to want to do that. And if you’re going to date internationally and you meet somebody through Instagram or some other form of online and she’s in another country, Facetime dates once a week. And then obviously usually within 30 days, you’ll probably be on a plane going to see them, especially if they’re in another country. And then the next time they can fly out to see you.

Where I let her do most of the talking and focused on making her laugh. Scarcity creates value, as you teach, so I kept it short, one hour, and left her wanting more.

Well, it’s the old adage in show business you always leave them wanting more. And when the conversation is going real well and she’s really having a good time, it’s like, man, it’s really great chatting to you and looking at those pretty eyes here, even though it’s digital, but can’t wait to see you when you get back to campus. I gotta run, I’ll talk to you later, have a great night or whatever. And then boom, you’re out.

She reached out the next day, and I used that as an opportunity to plan an in-person daytime date during the break, where we met in the middle.

So they’re four hours apart. So I assume that means he drove two hours. She drove two hours, and they got together.

We hung out, had fun, kissed, and drove back by sunset since we were far apart then. By the time break was over, we’d had a few in-person and FaceTime dates, building a solid connection while I followed your guidance to go with the flow and let her pursue me.

So you have to let women come to you at their pace. And so what was great is he had a really good FaceTime date and it went really well. He cut it short. He only kept it to an hour. And what happened the very next day? She texted him to connect again because she really wanted to talk to him more. And that’s how powerful these things are. Women want to be in a love story. And so he’s giving her the love story.

This is like something out of a movie. It just happened. I was just sitting there studying for my sociology class or my psychology class or my calculus, and this guy just came over and told me I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen or whatever, whatever he said. He told me I was really cute and he just had to come over and say hello. And I looked up and he had dreamy eyes or whatever.

Once we were back on campus, our bond grew even stronger. I saw her frequently, listened patiently as she opened up about her past.

Because he’s letting her do 70, 80, 90% of the talking on the date. And any of you guys that are in sales, you know, this is like a big part of sales. Sales is really just making a friend. How do you make a friend? How does a close friend treat you when you haven’t seen them in a while? How you been? What are you up to? What’s new? If you meet somebody and you’re asking them, Where’d you grow up? What’d you do? How many kids you got? Where are you from? Hey, did you know this person? Did you know that person? Oh, I used to go to that restaurant. We used to go to the Dairy Queen on that corner there. Or we used to go to that sports bar. It’s like everybody was there. We must have met. You know, that’s what happens.

You start talking and you let the other person tell you about them. And we all, as human beings, love to talk about ourselves. And so that’s why it’s so powerful when you go on a date or if you’re trying to sell a client, you just shut your mouth and you let them do most of the talking, and you really take a sincere, authentic interest in who they are. Because when we talk about ourselves and somebody’s really into hearing us and listening to us talk about ourselves, we go, hey, I really like this person because you have an audience and they make you feel like they care because they’re listening intently, like somebody close to you would.

I saw her frequently, listened patiently as she opened up about her past and showed her she was safe with me. This led to a deep emotional and physical connection by the third night we spent together.

Well, most women sleep with a guy by the second or third date.

It took about 6 dates until the deal was sealed.

So it took him six. I would say as he gets a little older, a little more experienced, it will probably happen sooner. But he took his time. It’s not set in stone. It doesn’t mean if you don’t sleep with the girl on the first date, or the third date, or the fifth date, it’s the end of the world and the end of the line. I mean, I had a girl I wrote about in The Book, and it was like a year and a half before we actually slept together, and it still worked out.

She was still getting over her ex who kept stalking her and even scammed her out of 600 dollars (and he’s in the military). Every time she had a “moment”, I just hung back, listened, and practiced infinite patience.

Probably she’d get upset. The ex would get in touch. She’d probably be backing off a little bit. Or she’d have some concerns. And he would just be like, “well, what’s in your heart? What are you thinking? What are you feeling?” He wasn’t judgmental. He wasn’t butthurt. He didn’t try to prove himself to her or tell her, “oh, that guy’s a jerk. You know, I can’t believe you still talk to him. It’s like, that’s just stupid. You should be focused on me. I’m a good dude. I got this, I got that, I drive a nice car. I’m majoring in this.”

Nah, he’s not doing any of that. He’s just, “Well, tell me, how does that make you feel? Or what have you been thinking? What’s been going on? What happened?” And she shares. He’s like, “oh, really? Wow. Oh, sorry. Sorry that happened. That’s awful.” You bond. You connect. She feels safe with you. You don’t feel threatened by the ex. You’re just there and you let her talk. And as women talk about their problems and the things that are going on, They come to a solution because you’re a great listener.

Every time she had a moment, I just hung back, listened and practiced. Infinite patience. Two steps forward, one step back. She felt she could come and go at her pace.

Well, remember, Thích Nhất Hạnh said, you must love in such a way that the person you love feels free. And especially when you’re dealing with a girl that’s had a breakup and the ex is in the background and he’s causing problems and he’s causing her to get emotional. You just got to let her be. Because what happens is she backs away a little bit. She’s got you. She’s got the ex. And as a woman, she’s going to test for masculine strength. She’s going to test you. She’s going to test him. Masculinity is calm. And so if the ex is getting upset and you’re just calm, if she’s like, “ah, I’m kind of struggling, I kind of need a day or so to do some things like, hey, no hey, no problem babe.

Well, call me if you want to talk. Call me if you want to come by and hang out. And you know, we can go for a walk in the park or whatever. And you can tell me what’s on your mind. You know, we can talk about it.” And he just let her be. And then she talks to the ex, and he’s getting all upset and mad and angry. The ex will chase her into your arms, which makes it really easy. Indifference is the difference that makes the difference.

Over time, she began to include me in her world—I met her friends (she dragged me inside when I was picking her up so I couldn’t avoid it even though we were not serious yet), I made a great impression, and her friends even helped me plan surprises for her. This was around week 5, I saw her almost every day and she reached out every day we were not together (2 to 3 times a day).

That’s what women do when they really like you. If a girl is reaching out to you 2 to 3 times a day, you know, you got to let her do 100% of the pursuing because it’s just totally counterproductive. It’s just unnecessary because she’s either always with you or she’s always in contact. And when women are in love, they want to be with you all the fucking time. All the fucking time to the point where they get on your nerves. But, you know, most guys never really get to that place where they really have a woman that’s that wrapped up in them. At least the kind of girls that they really want to be with.

By the sixth week, she confessed she wanted me all to herself, and we became official (I joked I was sad about not being able to use my black book lol). Not long after, she told me she loved me while fucking my brains out.

Well that’s nice. It’s nice to have a happy ending in the bedroom. A happy finish and a happy ending. Many more happy returns to you and your loved one.

She’s supportive of my purpose, builds me up, and fully accepts me for who I am. She also surprises me with gifts and food! I say I found my Katie from your book. What makes this amazing is that this is the first time I am getting to experience being with my 10.

So this dude’s 25 years old. He’s been following me for seven years. So it’s a seven year journey to be with the girl that just knocks his fucking socks off.

She is a hot cheerleader, and she knows it, which is hot.

But she chose him. The 3% Man.

Moreover, she always shows me how hot she thinks I am and even makes others jealous in public. I’ve become the man your book teaches us to be, and I owe it all to you. Thank you, Coach—I cherish your guidance and hope to have the chance to thank you in person one day. Shoutout Trump. Shoutout to the big man upstairs who put me on your path. 

Sincerely, 

Bob

Yep. With God, all things are possible. So thanks for sharing the success story. You can see it’s you know, he’s got a wrinkle whether there’s an ex in the background. But because he was prepared he was a good student. He just let her come to him at her pace. He got the hot cheerleader. He’s six years older than her. It’s like the man knocked it out of the park. I’m happy for him. I’m happy for her. Hopefully they live happily ever after, just like in the Disney movies.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.