How To Get 2 Women To Compete To Chase & Seduce You

How to get 2 women to compete to chase & seduce you instead of chasing them.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email update from a guy who was trying to get out of friend zone. He allowed her to take control and became too timid and passive. However, her hot roommate started coming onto him and asking him out. Now the original friend is hinting she will try to sandbag his success with her roommate. He asks how to handle it. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “How To Get 2 Women To Compete To Chase & Seduce You”.

Well, this particular email is from a viewer. I answered an email of his a little while back titled, “How To Turn Your Female Friend Into A Girlfriend Once You Start Hooking Up”. So he sends an update on her, and then he’s got an interesting wrinkle to share. So apparently the girl that’s, I guess he’s been friends with for about two years. They finally hooked up late summer, and then you could tell just by his mindset and some of the things he does, and says that he’s just a little too nice, a little too soft, a little too squishy. Unwilling to basically push back on things that don’t go his way.

And that’s part of the reason why he basically got pushed back into friend zone again. But her roommate started coming on to him and asked him out on a date. So he had a date. He didn’t do anything, but he just went out. Now the friend, she’s like, what’s your intentions with my roommate? And she says, “Well, if it’s romantic, well, I’m gonna have to have a talk with her and tell her that you kiss me Friday night.” Because they did kiss Friday night. But in the last few months, like nothing has been going on between the two of them.

Because every time he’s tried to kiss her, she gives him the cheek. And yet he keeps re-engaging and pursuing when he’s gotten rejected, instead of just the door slammed in his face and he walks away. So part of the problem is he’s just not able to exercise self control. He’s just a little too nice, a little too squishy, and unwilling to stand up for himself and what he wants. But he’s got a good problem now because both girls like him, apparently. And the one that he was stuck in friend zone with, now that the roommates coming onto him, as the late, great Doc Love used to say, “When kitty cats compete, you win.” So let’s see what’s going on.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach Wayne,

You previously answered my email titled, “How To Turn Your Female Friend Into A Girlfriend Once You Start Hooking Up.”Your response helped me tremendously, and I’ve been applying your advice, staying centered, not chasing, and letting women come to me. I want to give you an update because the situation has evolved in unexpected ways, and I’d love your perspective on maintaining my masculine now that things have gotten more complicated.

Number one. The Original Girl, Jessica. We’ve been close friends for two years with undeniable chemistry. We finally hooked up late summer, she panicked saying, “I don’t want a relationship.” I stayed calm and said, “Who’s saying anything about a relationship. Let’s hang out, have fun, and let things unfold.”  Yet over a few months, things settled into a more “friends-first, brother-sister” dynamic as her interests shifted.

Well, the problem is you were soft and squishy. And part of the problem is that because you have interest in her now, there are things in the book that you’re just dismissing outright, and I’ll point those out as I go through the email here. Part of the problem is that, you know, because we make our decisions based upon our emotions, and then we use logic and reason to justify those decisions. And when you spent two years stuck in friend zone and having a bad case of blue balls, and then you finally relieve it.

Part of the problem he’s like, “Oh, we known each other for two years. Everything’s great.” So this is all in the context of how we hang out. And the problem is, if you want her to be your lover, you gotta act like a lover, not like a friend. And since he’s acted like a friend so much, as he puts it, the brother sister dynamic, he just basically settled right back into his old patterns of behavior. And now he’s got blue balls with her again.

Partially, it is my fault as I allowed group dates, but we were always friends first, and have a very similar friend group anyway.

So notice how he just kind of dismisses that. Well, I know it’s my fault, and I acted real soft and squishy and like the gay male girlfriend, but hey, this is the way it’s always been. Well, if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will continue to get what you’ve always gotten. And in this case, it’s a nice serving of blue balls, which obviously he must enjoy.

Since late August, she’s been hot and cold.

Well, that’s because you vacillate back and forth between acting like a man and acting like a girl. Your job is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. And what you should have been doing is letting her come to you. But you’re trying to make dates and do things with her, and then she’s always saying, hey, let’s go out in a group. And the reason women do that is they cockblock you that way. Or I should say, in this case, a clam slam, right Lyla? She clam slammed him. And the problem was, is he went along with it. You know, as he put it. Again, this is what people do. This is like a scotoma.

Partially it’s my fault as I allow group dates.

And then his excuse for that is. But we were always friends first and have a very similar friend group anyway. In other words, I let her be the man and therefore I accepted my place and got blue balls again.

Pulled away after intimacy. Did not commit to one-on-one dates and always turned them into group situations.

Well, that’s your fault for going along with it. Women test your strength. How bad do you want it? And you just basically caved and went along with whatever she wanted. So if you’re trying to hang out with her, she’s like, “Oh, let’s do a group date.” He’s like, “Nah, let’s you and I go out together.” “Let’s do a group date.” “Like, no, I’m just going to hang. If you don’t want to do that, then give me a call in a week or two. Maybe I’ll be up for a group thing.” And you just never do. You never agreed to do it. Until she’s head over heels in love with you. But the problem is, is that he’s tripping all over himself because he’s all up in his feelings and his emotions and how much he likes her. And he’s just too nice. He’s too nice Lyla. He’s just too nice. Nice guys finish last.

Limited touching and signs where I can escalate physically, gave me a cheek a few weeks later post hookup.

Well, again, that’s like the door slamming on your face. So when that happens, stop moving forward. Stop hanging out on group dates. Again, you’re violating principles in the book. You just went back to acting like the friend. And I mean, you even said it yourself. I’ll go back to that phrase here. He said, “But we were always friends first and have a very similar friend group anyways.” In other words, he accepted his place. She said, go sit over there in sexual time out. And he says, okay. Yes, mommy. Yes, mommy. I’ll do whatever you tell me.

Testing me in social situations, like teasing, but more often than before.

Well, again, if you act like a bitch, women will treat you like a bitch. If you act like the gay male girlfriend, you’re going to lose access to the box, which is what happened.

Although last week, after one of her DJ sets, which I supported in person.

Again, you should have been going if it was a date or you guys were hooking up. But again, you’re acting like the gay male girlfriend, that’s the problem. If you’re trying to get out of friend zone, you don’t keep acting like a friend. If you do. Well, that’s where you’re going to stay. So your actions show that you’re okay with blue balls. So that’s why she gave you a giant second and third helping of blue balls. So congratulations, you won the lottery. You won the blue balls lottery. And then he goes, I mean, just.

I told her, “It felt like you were playing for me?” 

After she finishes her set. Does that sound like a guy that’s acting like a man, or does that sound like a dude that’s treating her like a celebrity and got her all pedestalized? It felt like you were playing for me, mommy.

She said, “I was playing for you, with a smirk.” Later that night, she went in for a hug, and I leaned in for a kiss; she turned her cheek. But then, she quickly pulled me in for a quick kiss.

But he didn’t try to escalate or, hey, let’s get out of here and go do this. Let’s do that. He just. She’s the man. That’s what happened. You made her the man. So you went back to blue balls. You’re too afraid to lead. You’re too timid. You’re too shy. And you just keep putting her in charge. So. And every time she tests you, you fold like a cheap deck chair.

Number two. The New Twist. Her Roommate. call her Lauren. Her new roommate, Lauren, is someone I’ve known casually through the music scene. She is also a DJ and recently got booked at a venue where I was helping another friend with gear, and I helped her set up. She proceeded to open up massively.

Massively. I wonder if he’s from the UK? It’s massive. Corey it’s massive.

Talking about her life, spirituality, pain, goals, and art. I simply listened, stayed present, and kept it light. It was probably a 30-minute conversation. Then she initiated plans when I was leaving. 
“We should grab dinner and talk for real.”

Well, that’s very forward. Most of the time, women won’t do that. That’s usually a sign of very high interest.

I agreed and said, “Sure, let me know when you’re free to get together.” We had dinner this week, and the connection was deep, grounded, slow-burning, and very present. Mentally stimulating. Lots of openness. Zero chaos. A totally different energy than Jessica. I led the night, kept it light and fun, no rushing, and ended without trying to escalate physically because I didn’t get the green lights yet, just comfort and curiosity.

Well, still should have gone for the kiss. She asked you out after all. But that’s part of the problem. He probably went in for a hug. I don’t want to upset her Corey.

However, the night ended with Jessica walking into us, chatting on a couch in the living room.

The Blowback.

As soon as I left Lauren’s place, Jessica texted me, and here’s the thread. 

She said,“I have to ask your intentions.”

I said, “You’re cute for asking. My intention is always the same. Hang out, have fun, and stay aligned with the people who lift me up. What makes you ask?”

She said, “I’m playing protective friend. If your intentions were romantic with her, I’d feel obligated to say something, considering you kissed me on Friday.” 

I would have, again, answer a question with a question. I have to ask your intentions. Intentions about what? It’s like, what are your intentions with my roommate? It’s like, she’s cool. We just hung out. I hang out with her like I hang out with you. Why are you mad that you didn’t get to come with us?

I said, “That kiss was a moment, and a good one. I’m not trying to make things messy or complicated between you and your world.”

I wouldn’t have said that. That’s like, “oh, I’m sorry, I don’t want to upset you and your roommate. Oh my God, I don’t want to get in between you guys. Again, just a little scaredy cat. You’re supposed to be the man, dude.

“All I’m doing is enjoying good people, good energy, and good nights. No pressure, no obligations.” She said, “I know it was. I’m just trying to teach you, in case you didn’t already know.”

How condescending. I’m just trying to teach you, you dumb little man.

“That girls don’t typically react well to things like that.”

Well, it makes them like you more typically. It’s a scientific fact women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. Women like you more if they think that they’re more into you than you are into them. And now that her roommate potentially is getting all the attention used to give to her, now she’s like, hey, what’s going on?

I said, “I hear you. And that’s why I’m always upfront with you. We’re good.”

She said, “It’s not me I’m worried about.”

Oh, yeah, she’s really worried about her friend. Sure.

I said, “You don’t need to worry about anything. I move respectfully. Always.”

She said, “Okie dokie.”

The Dynamic I Need Guidance On.

I’m now in a situation where, the original friend, Jessica, has an emotional claim but no clarity.

Well, quite frankly, dude, you got nothing. Jessica, you kissed a little bit, but she gave you the cheek initially. So you’re clearly stuck in friend zone. And so with Jessica, I wouldn’t do anything. I wouldn’t call her, wouldn’t text her, wouldn’t ask her out, wouldn’t do nothing. And she hits you up and wants to hang. Invite her over to make dinner at your place. But other than that, I wouldn’t do anything with her unless she invites you to do something. And the other thing is, if you want sex and romance, then don’t say, “Hey, let’s go to lunch. Let’s go to coffee or come see me play.”

You’re just you’re mixing up too many friends things in your group, because the whole purpose of seduction is to get closer and closer to a woman until you end up inside of her. And when you’re involving all of your friends, her roommate now, and other people, you’re still behaving as a friend, not as a lover. So in other words, you can hang out and do group dates. But once she’s in love with you and you guys are exclusive if that’s what you want. And I assume that’s what you want, because this is the second email you wrote about this girl. But now you’ve got the roommate.

She doesn’t want a relationship, but she also clearly doesn’t want to “lose me” to someone else, especially her own roommate.

Well, you’re not hers to lose anyways. You guys hooked up several months ago, and right now you’re just friends. And yeah, you had a kiss Friday night, but maybe you both had a little bit to drink and that was it. But at the end of the day, it’s like she kissed you. It’s like she was dangling the carrot just to kind of tease you. And how come you didn’t escalated from there? Why didn’t you try to take her home or do something? It’s like those are opportunities. It’s your job as a man to lead it to the bedroom, and you’re just consistently not doing that. You’re consistently just being very passive and soft.

The roommate, Lauren, is calm, feminine, open, and grounded. Completely different vibe. She followed through, communicates clearly, and is easy to be around. One date of slow burn, but no tests. I’m staying true to your material. I don’t chase.
 I only initiate dates.


Well, again, I wouldn’t be reaching out to this other girl that’s giving you the cheek. That’s the thing. It’s like you’re reading the book, but you’re just completely disregarding it and doing things your way anyways. And it doesn’t seem like you notice that. So with, you know, because if a girl starts acting platonic with you all the time and she starts giving you the cheek, you don’t call and text her to invite her out on dates again. But the problem is, it sounds like you’re trying to invite her on dates. And then she says, “How about a group thing?” And you go, “Okay, well, we’ve always been friends anyways.”

And then every time you hang out with her, you just get blue balls. And that would be incredibly frustrating. And it’s just an absolute waste of time. So therefore you’re the man. You should decide to only interact with her in a romantic context, meaning you and her one on one, and stop mixing all your friends with it and making excuses for doing it. Because again, this is the second email you wrote about this and I can’t imagine that the blue balls feels very good.

I’m staying true to your material.

No you’re not. Not even close, dude.

I don’t chase.
 I only initiate dates.
 I stay calm, present, playful.
 I let them come to me.
 I don’t get wrapped up emotionally.


Yes you are.

I stay focused on my mission.

Well, you act like a robot. When you guys get together you’re not doing anything. You go for the kiss. She gives the cheek, then she kisses you. You’re not like, “Hey, let’s go do this. Let’s go do that.” You’re just like, “Okay, well, that’s the end of that.” But the important thing is you’ve got to spend your time with women who make it easy for you.

But I want to make sure I’m navigating this triangle correctly without creating unnecessary drama in the friend group.

Well, these two are roommates, so at the end of the day, this girl’s giving you blue balls and treating you like a platonic friend. And she always offers group dates which you always bitch out and agree to. So that’s why you’re stuck in friend zone with her. So if the roommate is coming on to you, let her reach out and make dates, hang out and have fun, hook up and escalate things. Don’t just sit there like the gay male girlfriend and not ever make a move because that’s part of your problem.

You just sit there and if you’re on a date, if a girl’s asked you to dinner and you make excuses as to why you don’t try to kiss her. Because if you’re on a date and you’re trying to determine whether or not she’s actually into you, especially in a case like this, this is why you go for the kiss. Because if she gives you the cheek too, then don’t ever ask her out. Don’t ever do anything again.

My Questions. Number one. How do I keep my masculine center when two women in the same circle start competing?

I’m not trying to create rivalry, but it’s happening anyway.

Well, again, women do this naturally. So, Jessica, the first girl, as long as you start hanging out with the roommate, and I wouldn’t tell Jessica anything about it. Be cagey and evasive. Just say, “Oh, we just hang out. I just, you know, I was helping her with her concert, or I was helping her with her gear. I helped her set up.” And she’s like, “What’s going on between you two?” He’s like, “Why do you ask? What do you mean?” Well, if it’s romantic, it’s like, what are you saying? Who said I was on a date with her? Who said anything about that? And besides, even if I was on a date with her, quite frankly, it’s none of your business. Because at the end of the day, this girl’s giving you the cheek, so she’s acting like she just wants to be your friend. And so if she’s going to act that way, well, then you’re going to treat her that way. You’re going to let her. She can be over there. And you’ll go spend your time with the girl that’s opening the door instead of slamming it in your face.

Number two. When a woman says “girls don’t react well to that” is that jealousy, interest, or a legitimate concern for group harmony?

Well, again, women like you more if there’s other girls that are into you, especially their roommates or their friends or their sisters for that matter.

Number three. What’s the best way to maintain polarity with a woman who wants closeness only on her terms Jessica?

Well, number one, stop acting like such a bitch. Stop doing group dates. Stop letting her run things. That’s part of the problem. You’re not following the book at all, dude. Not even remotely close.

Number four. With the roommate, should I continue the slow burn and let it unfold naturally?

If you hear from her, make a date, hang out, have fun, hook up. But you’re also kind of putting her in control and letting her dictate the terms. So you’re making the women consistently the men in your life, and that’s why you’re spinning your wheels and not really getting anywhere. And that’s why you would hook up and then get blue balls and not get anywhere after that.

Why I’m Asking. Your previous advice helped me avoid over-pursuing Jessica, which allowed her attraction to rebuild.

Yeah, it went up a little bit, but again, you just act too squishy and soft and you’re not direct. You’re not decisive. You’re not getting to the point. You keep hanging out with her in a platonic way and doing things for her. Ask her for a date, she says, “how about a group thing?” And you go, “okay.” And then you get nowhere. That’s you’re doing the opposite of what the book teaches.

Now with this new development, I want to make sure I’m applying all your principles correctly, especially when emotions and jealousy start mixing inside the same household.

Well, again, if the roommate starts hanging out with you a bunch and you start hooking up with her and Jessica says, “What’s going on with you two?” It’s like, gentlemen, don’t kiss and tell. Well, I’m gonna talk to her. We kissed. I was like, yeah, but that was before she and I went on a date. So it doesn’t matter, because nothing’s going on between us. You know, we haven’t hooked up since the summer. And every time I tried to kiss you, you give me the cheek anyways. I try to set dates. You want to do group things. So, your roommate really likes me. She wants to hang out one on one. And I like her, so I’m gonna see where it goes. If you’re truly my friend, you would support that. You used to be a friend with benefits, but that was like a one time thing.

Thank you again for all you do. Your work genuinely helped me evolve from anxious and reactive into a grounded man women feel safe opening up to.

Best,

Bob

It’s like, yeah, dude, you’re a little full of yourself here. And you’re kind of delusional on what’s actually going on. But the reality is, if you’re looking at two girls here, Jessica, she should be in the back burner. The roommate, she should get your time and attention because she’s wanting to hang out. But then again, when you went on your date, maybe you talked her into keeping you stuck in friend zone because you never went for a kiss or anything. So it would be interesting to see if things advance with the roommate. So hit us up in a month or so and progress it.

But man, you’ve got to change your approach because you’re acting like the gay male girlfriend constantly. And if you want to be Harry Honda with a bad case of blue balls, then keep doing what you’re doing. Because what’s going to end up happening is you’re going to be friends with both of these girls and be getting nowhere. So again, if you want to be a lover, act like a lover. If you want to be a friend, act like a friend. If you want to get out of friend zone and become a lover, you got to stop acting like the friend all the time and do romantic things. So the book’s not going to help you if you just read it and do the opposite, and then convince yourself that you’re just following everything perfectly.

Because if you were following everything perfectly, the first girl would have been in love with you by now. And the thing with the roommate wouldn’t even be an issue. But it looks like the roommates much easier to be with. What do I always say? Easy going, easy to get along with. And she’s nice to you. And the second girl is much easier going and easy to get along with. So I’d be investing my time and my energy and hanging out with her and seeing where that goes. But you got to make a move, dude. You’re just too timid. Too shy. You act like a rookie with no game. So you’ve got to step it up.

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