How to get over a breakup and attract a better quality partner.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a viewer who got introduced to my work about a year ago after getting divorced from a 15 year marriage. He had addiction and other issues that led to his divorce. He couch surfed for a while and really had no purpose or direction in life.
He shares how my book and videos helped him get serious about his purpose, success, what he wanted in life and attract a new partner. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
I’ve got an email success story from a guy who originally found my work after getting divorced from a 15-year marriage. He says a big part of the reason why his marriage ended was because he had addiction issues and some other problems that basically led to his divorce. He said he couch surfed for a while after that, he didn’t really have any purpose or direction in life. So that was something that he says my book really helped him get focused on.
He shares how he met his new girl and how things changed in all areas of his life once he started reading and implementing this sweet blue book with a picture of yours truly on it. So let’s go through his email and see what he did to turn his life around and hopefully it’ll inspire you because there’s always other people that are coming to me for the first time, and this may be the first video that they watch. Hopefully this inspires you to take action and learn and do what he did.
Thank you so much for sharing what you’ve learned the hard way so we chumps don’t have to make the same mistakes.
I was introduced to your work about a year ago and have since either read your book or listened to the audio book over a dozen times and constantly refer to it.
Well, that’s typically the actions of somebody that’s serious about getting better and reaching their full potential. The important thing is you’ve got to put in the work. Got to put in the time. You got to learn the material. Can’t half-ass it. Flip through the book once or twice and think your life’s going to radically change. You got to learn the book, but most importantly, you got to actually apply it to see how it works in the real world and get really good and competent at it.
I’ve got highlights and notes throughout my printed copy. Such valuable information not just for dating and relationships, but for life: How to be a better man, the mindset to strive to be better just a bit more each day. Thanks!
Now to my success story:
I’m 42 and had been married for 15 years. My ex-wife asked me to move out about two years ago and for a divorce six months after that. A lot of it had to do with my struggles with addiction and its accompanying shame-filled view of self and how it had become the focus of our relationship instead of us being a partnership.
So in other words, he wasn’t pulling his own weight. Wasn’t really a team of equals because obviously he was not holding up his end of the bargain.
My purpose was non-existent at the time. I admittedly was a little bitch and don’t blame her for wanting to distance herself from me.
That takes some radical personal honesty. So I appreciate that, because you can’t solve problems unless you can talk openly and honestly about them. In this case, you can’t overcome your flaws and your faults unless you’re willing to acknowledge it.
Crying about women and their true nature and all this other nonsense is just what weak guys do to absolve themselves from any personal responsibility for having to fix their life. It’s much easier to point a finger and say, “Oh, the problem is just all modern women, so I don’t have any problems and I got nothing to fix because I’m just awesome.”
Gratefully, I took this divorce as a wake-up call and got hard at work on myself and recovery. Fast-forward after a year of couch-surfing at the mercy of my friends working through my shit, I’m now living in my own place and my life is starting to get back to normal. I decide to start dating again.
I get on the apps and have some moderate success matching with women. I’ve gone on probably a couple dozen first dates and a handful of second dates in the past year.
As you suggested in the book, I took the time to write down what I wanted in an ideal partner. Pros and cons, green and red flags. You tell the story of your London girlfriend and how you showed each other your lists and how you matched each other’s ideals and how good of a bonding experience that was. That’s SUCH a good suggestion. I really wanted that kind of experience too.
None of those girls I dated worked out long-term. That’s what I want and chose. Some said no to me. But some, I said no to continuing to see. I know who I am and what I want, and most of all, I want someone who really wants me for ME.
It’s totally the right mindset. Good job.
You tell us to put who you are out into the world and accept whatever comes back, “Acceptance is the key to all of life’s problems,” says the Blue Book.
Well, I’ve recently met and have been seeing a woman that really wants me for me and checks off every single one of my ideals. First date, we were all over each other, 7-8 attraction. First kiss happens only 30 minutes after the start of the date.
Well obviously, she liked you.
We’re finishing each other’s sentences, type of stuff. Unbelievable connection.
It’s worth it being patient and knowing what you really want in a partner. Manifesting this ideal into the world attracts them to you.
Well, you’ve got to become what you want to attract. That’s the important thing.
Love is supposed to be playful and fun. You can’t make attraction happen. Don’t waste your time on someone that’s not a, “Hell yes!”
Absolutely. That’s a big problem with guys in society because quite frankly, we see it in movies and TV shows all the time. Guy has interests in a girl. Girl has no interest in him at all whatsoever. Yet he does all these ridiculous things. His grand gesture dates jumping through his butt, trying to get her attention and validation.
Of course, in the world of make believe, at the end of the movie, the girl goes, “Oh, I should have had a V8.” No, she says, “Oh, the right guy was in my life all along. I’m so blessed and lucky,” and they live happily ever after. It doesn’t work that way in the real world. You behave that way in the real world, you get a restraining order on your house.
All of those things, I learned from your stuff and am seeing it play out in real life. It REALLY works. So grateful for your coaching. Keep up the good work!
Like I always say, even if you think I’m full of shit, if you apply what’s in this book, it will work for you and you will get better results than you are used to. I mean, here’s a guy that basically hit rock bottom, had a addiction issues. His wife left him and he completely turned his life around and met somebody and had a magical connection because he was ready for it. He did the work ahead of time.
There’s no shortcuts to success. He did the work, he put in the time, he learned what was in the book. Most importantly, he applied it and saw that it worked in the real world. Then when he met somebody that he really clicked with, he was prepared because as Confucius said, “Success depends upon prior preparation and without said preparation, there is sure to be failure.”
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur