Here’s a recent email I got from a coaching client of mine. On our latest coaching call we discussed how to offer a chick your number and get her to call you. You have to do it exactly in the manner in which I speak of or it won’t come off right. Its a great no-risk technique to use when you don’t mind chatting with a girl, but don’t feel like asking for her number, are unsure if she likes you or you would rather women ask for your number and call you. Here’s his email:
Whats going on my man? I hope all is well and your video session went well on Saturday, I am really looking forward to what you put out. Also I wanted to say thanks for the great conversation/coaching on Friday and spending a little extra time with me, especially because I know your time is very valuable. Thanks brother I really appreciate that.
I had a great weekend. Went to a bull-riding event on Saturday and it was awesome, not to mention the women that were there, (Wholly shit) AMAZING!
Anyways on other news, I had a minor setback with a female I was talking to, I believe her interest level fell below 51% so its not even worth mentioning because I already shitcanned her number lol. Moving on, Well there is this another female that I know from “Borders,” its a bookstore that I go and study at. well since you have been coaching me and due to reading/learning your book and playing my cards right, she’s been noticing me more and more, well on Friday night she actually started talking to me, I was reading “lone survivor” and she made her way towards me, she was cleaning up after others but I might think it was a disguise to get closer (maybe I’m being arrogant) well she asked me what I thought about the book and turns out she’s read it as well and said “my ex told me it was a good book,” so anyways we talked for a couple minutes I managed to get some laughs out of here, which was great, then told her to be safe and have a good night, than I went about my way.
A HUGE part of me wants to go back to “study” and perhaps see if she is working, I managed to hold off all weekend, how do you think I should approach this one? I believe her interest level is up and she has been displaying the signs by her engaging in conversation with me and how she is giving me discounts on things that I buy and little things of that nature. for example she gave me a free membership, its a type of program that they have there where others have to pay to join, she whispered to me “I always see you here and I know you spend money so I’m gong to hook you up for free,” I was amazed, I told her thank you Jennifer, she smiled because I knew here name, (she wasn’t) wearing her name tag, so I could tell she was happy because I knew her name.
Anyways, I guess you can tell I’m actually kind of excited about this one, so any advice will definitely help, less is more less is more, that’s what I keep telling myself, that’s why I haven’t gone back yet. Well hope to hear from you whenever you have time. have a good week and Godbless Brother. Tom.
Here’s my response to his email:
Everything went perfect Saturday right up until I started recording. Ustream.com and my iMac were not getting along very well. I’ll just work on it once I get the technical issues fixed.
There are never a short supply of really hot women at NBA games and other sporting events. Active, healthy and in shape people tend to like sports. Its definitely a target rich environment. Always be willing to flush a number instead of trying to push a wet noodle so to speak. Girls with high interest in you will be much easier to be with. As men, our ego’s have a hard time letting go when a chick does not reciprocate our interest. However, the more you do it the easier it gets to let go. That way you only get really excited about women who really like you back. As I have mentioned before, attraction is not a choice. A chicks interest is either above 51% to start with or its not.
Now the “Borders Girl” is the perfect type of situation to offer your phone number if you are unsure of whether her interest is above 51%. She may really like you, or she may just be doing her job. Sometimes its hard to tell. So here’s what you can say next time you see her: “Hey, if you come across any books in the future you think I will love, send me a text and let me know about them.” Now when you say that to her she will probably respond in one of the following two ways: 1) she will say “Sure!” and pull out her phone and ask you for your number. 2) she will say “Sure!” and never pull out her phone and then walk away without asking for it.
Did you see the subtle difference there in her two responses? If she likes you she will ask you for your number. If she does not she won’t. You risked nothing by doing that. If she takes down your number, she may text or call you. It makes it easy and comfortable for her to contact you to chat about things two friends would chat about. So no matter what situation you are in with a girl you have just met or know casually, by offering your number in relation to a common topic from your conversation, its as if you are telling her to get in touch if she wants to talk further about that subject. Then she can contact you like she would any friend. You have set her up from the beginning to pursue. That’s always the best place to be in. The bottom line is, if she likes you she will find a reason to call or text you. When and if she does, just talk or text for 3-4 minutes and if she does not bring up getting together after 3-4 minutes, then you bring it up. Ask her if she would like to meet at Starbucks or some other coffee shop to chat on a specific day or time. You could say it like this… “when are you free to meet out for a drink or cup of coffee?” Let her answer when she’s available, and then pick a day and time (location to meet at also) you are free that’s she’s available. Say “great, I’ll see you then.”
Get in the habit of doing this approach. I think you may even like it more, especially in situations where you are unsure if she really likes you or when you just feel lazy. How would James Bond act if he already had too many chicks chasing him wanting to hook up? He’d have no interest in asking for a chicks number unless she was super amazing. After you do this with a few dozen women, you will really start to see some interesting shit happen.
As far as being excited about the Borders Girl, she’s just another girl. She has done nothing so far to warrant you getting excited about her. If you offer your number in the exact way I do above, and she takes it and later contacts you, then, maybe it could be cause to get a little excited. However, you may go out with her and find she’s totally boring or has an annoying laugh, etc. Maybe she has body odor. I have met several super hot chicks in the past, who once I got really close to them, stunk like BO so bad I instantly lost interest. The point is, she is on probation, you need time to decide if you really like her.
Keep practicing and start offering your phone number in a casual way.
From my heart to yours,
End of my response to Tom
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“If what you have done yesterday still looks big to you, you haven’t done much today.” – Unknown