How To Go From No Dating Prospects To Having Many Options

How to create an abundance of dating prospects in your personal life.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a viewer in Canada. He details how things are going with a new girl he met at a cafe and cold approached. They hooked up on the 2^nd date but she became a little distant and aloof after. He shares how 3% Man, helped him to deal with that uncertainty and pass her tests of his strength. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “How To Go From No Dating Prospects To Having Many Options”.

So this particular email is a little success story from a guy in Canada. He’s detailing how things are going with a new girl that he met at a cafe and cold approached. And he said before he came across my work and read my book ten times, that’s something he would have never done. But they ended up having a really good conversation for a bit.

He got her number and she actually ended up texting him before he even had the chance to reach out to her. They had a really good first date. Second date was even better; Indoor Olympics. And then there was a pullback after the Indoor Olympics, and he said the old version of him would have just panicked and kind of freaked out when he noticed that, she seemed to be less interested, but he just kind of hung back and waited.

And a few days, I think three days went by, then she came back even more excited than ever. And things are going great. So he says now the new wrinkle that he’s got, is that he’s got too many options. And this is something he’s never had before. So I remember the first time it had happened to me where you’ve got three, four different women you could potentially be dating and sleeping with all at the same time.

At first you feel a little guilty. You’re like this, because it doesn’t seem normal. Because most guys never experience that but you get used to it. And it makes you feel a lot better and a lot more confident when you have multiple women that are after you. So let’s see what he did to successfully create the conditions in his life to where he’s got abundance.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach Corey,

First off, I just want to say thank you. 3% Man has genuinely changed my life—not just in dating, but in how I carry myself overall. I’m based in Canada and have been following your work for about a year now, and I’ve read the book 10 plus times. I recently bought the hardcover as well, and I’m currently going through it again, highlighting key points like I’m studying for a final exam before dates.

Well remember, the most important thing is you’ve got to be practicing pick up skills, dating skills, casual dating skills, and then relationship skills. And if you’re mostly single and just kind of casually dating, you don’t really have time to learn the relationship stuff. And that’s where a lot of guys fall short. They get to their ten reads and they’re dating and hooking up a lot, and then they just stop reading the book, and then they get into a relationship.

And then that’s the first time that they have the opportunity to use a relationship skills, but they never really took the time to learn them because they weren’t really mostly required when you’re just kind of casually dating and hooking up. But after the fact, especially when it’s six months or more since they’ve stopped reading the book, and then they need those relationship skills.

They just don’t know it. So the key is at least go through it every six months once you get past your 10 to 15 times. And especially if you were mostly single for a couple of years, applying it and doing well with casual dating, you have got to learn the relationship stuff. Because you have got to be practicing the relationship stuff in order to need it and get good at it and have skill and wisdom and experience.

I wanted to share a quick success story. I met a girl randomly at a café. We made eye contact, exchanged smiles, and I went for it.

So typically you’re going to have the best experience when that happens. When you make eye contact, the girl smiles at you, you smile at her, then you should go for it. Because the smile is usually indicative that she’s single she likes what she sees, and makes it known that she likes what she sees. But if she were taken or not interested, she typically wouldn’t make eye contact. She certainly wouldn’t smile. She would just look away. So that’s the first sign of interest.

We ended up talking for quite a while, exchanged numbers, and the next day she reached out first suggesting we meet again.

So something that’s really important about this is, this is in the real world, this is a cold approach. It’s not somebody he’s texting back and forth or messaging with on Tinder. This is a real world in-person example. And so he spent quite a bit of time as he says talking with her. And so that helps to create rapport and give her a level of comfort. And since that first meeting goes so well, he’s talking, I don’t know, maybe ten, 15, 20 minutes, maybe a half hour?

If it goes that well when you first meet, your date’s going to go well. If it doesn’t go that well when you meet and you try talking to her for 20 minutes, it’s like pulling teeth, trying to get her to engage in conversation your date’s not going to go any better. So from that perspective, he had a really good interaction. It shows there’s chemistry. She’s going to feel safe. She’s going to feel comfortable.

We exchanged numbers, and the next day she reached out first suggesting we meet again. I almost double-checked if I read the book correctly, but apparently I did.

So that’s really high interest, probably on a scale of 1 to 10, she started out at like around a high seven or a low eight even. So most women are not going to do that, that just shows she really liked this guy. And the conversation went well. That probably doesn’t happen to her very often if it’s ever happened very often in her entire life.

I set a definite date, and we had a great first date—went to a few places, lots of chemistry, kissing, and she mentioned wanting to see me again.

So it’s just easy effortless. It just it’s different when there’s high interest and your game is tight. It’s just like putting on an old pair of shoes. It just seems natural, almost like something you see in a movie.

We set up a second date a few days later, which went even better—she came over, stayed the night, and let’s just say the “Indoor Olympics” were in full swing. After that, when I reached out for a third date after a few days, she seemed a bit unsure and non-committal this time.

Well, usually when you have a lot of enthusiasm and then after you have sex and there’s a lack of enthusiasm, maybe the sex wasn’t that great potentially, or it just happened really intensely because she did pursue him and they hooked up pretty quickly. And then the little slut alarm in her head might have been going, “Uh oh, I don’t want to be perceived as a slut or too easy because I slept with him after only the second date. That usually doesn’t happen to me. I don’t usually do this.” Until she does, of course.

And so in that case, you should expect, especially if the two dates happened really quickly. Like if they met, had their first date the next day or within a day, and then the second date happened quickly after, then they had Indoor Olympics. If that all happened a couple days or under a week then yeah, you would definitely expect a pullback because that’s a lot.

That’s pretty intense to go from total strangers to you’re hooking up on a second date. And so you just don’t get rattled. You don’t get butthurt. You just assume, “Oh, well, maybe she must be really busy.” If you’re used to those things happening, you’re going to give women the benefit of the doubt. You’re going to be like, oh, well, she must be busy. I’m sure she’ll get back to me when her schedule frees up. And that’s what you’ll tell her.

You’ll give her the opportunity to follow through on what she says, which is she’ll get in touch when she knows her schedule, or to flake out and disappear forever. Now, if she flaked out and disappeared forever and he never heard from her again, then you would have to assume that the sex was bad. And it’s also possible she had broken up with a guy and then all of a sudden got back together with him. You don’t know that either.

Maybe she just had a bad breakup. Was looking for a rebound. Maybe Chad Thunder Cock disappeared for a few days, and then you guys hooked up, and then he came back in the picture. And so now you haven’t heard from her. That’s why you don’t burn a bridge. You just you have no idea. Especially when you first meet somebody, you don’t really know them, what’s going on, what their relationship status is, what’s going on in the background unbeknownst to you.

That’s why you want to be indifferent and just have a take it or leave it kind of attitude. You’re not attached one way or another. If she’s available, wonderful. And if she’s not, hey, you’ll spend your time with somebody else.

Old me would’ve panicked and written a novel over text, but this time I stayed calm and told her to reach out when she was free. A few days later, she did—and we locked in the third date.

And oftentimes women will pull back like that just to see if the guy freaks out or gets upset. And when he’s calm and cool and collected like this guy was, you pass the test and now she’s excited again.

Things are going great so far, and I can clearly see how applying what you teach made all the difference. A year ago, I wouldn’t have even approached her at the café. So just wanted to say thanks again—your work really works.

Well I know. Even if you’re new here and you think I’m totally full of shit, if you apply what’s in the book, you’ll get better results than you were getting on your own.

The only “problem” now is I’ve got more options than I know what to do with, not a bad problem, but definitely a new one for me.

Well, again, most time it happens for most guys, you feel a little guilty because you think, “wow”, because you’ve always kind of been focused on one girl because you basically never had more than one decent choice. But then when you get two, three, four in quick succession, which is the way it goes sometimes, you can feel a little guilty and it takes some getting used to.

And now you’ve got kind of a dilemma because you’re like, “Well, who do I spend time with?” Well, whoever treats you the best, who’s the easiest going easy to get along with. She’s nice to you, communicates well, loves her dad, has a good relationship with her dad. She’s easygoing, easy to get along with. She communicates well. She’s fun to be around. She’s a positive, optimistic attitude.

She’s not a Debbie Downer. So whoever treats you the best is and is the best to be around, and who was raised the best comes from the best family. Over time, you should eventually just gravitate towards that naturally and she’ll become more aggressive than the other girls.

You can just say, “Hey, I met somebody else. You’re really great. I met somebody else before I met you. And I kind of want to see how it goes. And, you know, if it doesn’t work out, I’ll get in touch with you. But, I’m gonna give her my undivided attention, or we’ve agreed to be in a relationship or we’re going to be exclusive or whatever it happens to be.”

My question for you is, can women tell the difference between a man who naturally has options and one who has learned to act like he does—and if so, what usually gives it away?

Best regards,

Bob

Well, you’re calm. Masculinity is calm. If you truly do have lots of options, you’re going to be unattached. You’re going to be cool. Either way, your attitude is gonna be like, “Hey, may the best girl win. I’ve got four girls and I need to vet properly. I need to find out who’s got a good attitude and who’s going to blow their top and get pissed off easily.”

It’s usually the chick that comes from the most broken home, if you will. So if you seem to act like you have options, then you just come unglued and freak out over the phone like he said he normally would have done. He’s calm, cool and collected initially, and then once he hooks up, he just totally comes apart. Then yeah, he’s gonna look like a poser because when she pulled back like that, which like I said, when you sleep with a woman that quickly, you should definitely expect a pullback because it’s a lot of intimacy.

It’s a lot of closeness real soon. And the guy that actually has his shit together is going to be like, “Hey, no problem. Well hit me up when you figure out your schedule.” And he’s going to be cool. The guy that is pretending to be confident is going to do just what he used to do, which is freak out and go, “Hey, is everything okay? You know, you didn’t seem to be as excited to want to see me as you were the last time. Was the sex all right? Did you enjoy it? Do I have bad breath?”

You know, they just start freaking out about things. So masculinity is calm. Feminine energy is chaos. And so when she pulls back, as long as you don’t turn into a chaotic female, you’ll be fine. So again, “slow and steady like the river that never grows stale. No hurry, no rush.” Like Rumi said. So again, if you’re calm and you’re going slightly slower than she is.

The most important thing about all that, even if she thinks that you may just be jacking her around, the thing that matters the most is how she feels about you. Women don’t care about what a great guy you are, they care about how they feel about you. And if you’re doing the right things, it’s going to stimulate her emotions properly.

That’s going to cause attraction and to cause her to want to spend more time with you. So it just becomes natural. But you’ve got to let women come to you with their pace. And that’s what is going on here. That’s the lesson is that they moved really fast. And then you could tell she pulled back because it probably freaked her out a little bit for a couple of days. But he’s like, “Hey, hit me up when you figure out your schedule.”

And then three days go by, she has time to be present with her feelings, tell all her girlfriends about it and what happened. And then three days go by and you haven’t freaked out like most guys tend to do. She’ll be like, “What happened to him? I wonder what he’s doing. Is he thinking about me? Did he lose interest? Did I upset him? Did I make him mad? Did he meet another girl?”

And then she reaches out. That’s just the way it goes. Femininity is chaos. So don’t get all wrapped up in her chaotic behavior and think it has something to do with you. It’s just an internal process that happens with women. When they pull back, you don’t fucking freak out. You just treat it like it’s another sunny day.

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