Here is how you can learn to go with the flow so your interactions with women become effortless, and so they will do the things you really like to you. As I have said before, a man’s job in the mating dance is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. What most guys don’t realize, is that women are just as horny as we are. The problem is, most guys talk women right out of sleeping with them.
A woman wants to have an emotional connection with a guy. Like I talk about in my article “women want to be in a love story”, women want to be swept up in a whirlwind romance just like you see in the movies. Sometimes the connections she has with a man result in crazy passionate sex only hours after they met for the first time. Other times, the connections evolve more slowly over time. Both situations will push a woman’s buttons, and cause her to slowly stop resisting his advances until it culminates in the final act of his penetrating her.
It’s up to the man to manage the situation and come from a place of indifference, confidence, certainty, and non-attachment to the outcome. He could take it or leave it. He wants her, but he is not going to make a fool of himself to get her. He knows what he has to offer a woman. He sees himself as the prize. Men that know what they’re doing, are really quick and efficient at establishing a connection and continuing to create a situation and an environment where a woman will feel comfortable enough to the point where she will eventually drop all of her resistance, and let him have his way with her. Where she can let go and let him totally take and ravish her.
This is more of an art than it is a science. However, like I talk about in my book, it’s a process and a man needs to have a highly developed sensory acuity, knowledge and understanding of how a woman’s mind works so he can read her actions, the signals and the subtle cues that let him know in every moment where he stands with her and what he needs to do to ensure that it ends up in the bedroom.
Women are biologically hardwired to feel sexual attraction towards dominant males and dominant male behavior. When a man acts like he is unsure of himself, it communicates to the woman that he is not worthy of her. A man who feels weak and unworthy of her would produce offspring that would also be weak and have difficulty surviving, reproducing and therefore carrying on her genes to future generations. The human mating dance from a biological perspective, is all about survival and continuation of your genes to future generations.
When you’re with a woman who you have a mutual strong sexual attraction to and chemistry with, as long as you continue to provide an environment where she can feel safe, comfortable, come and go as she pleases and where you pass all of her, or at least most of her little tests of your strength, she will throw in the towel and let you sleep with her. The more things you do right, the quicker she will sleep with you. The more things you do wrong, the longer it’s going to take.
Here’s an email I got from a coaching client recently. My comments are (in bold brackets like this):
Hope you had a good weekend and 4th. Mine was long and tiring but awesome. I have been moving it along with the one girl we spoke of. I randomly stood next to her at Summerfest (1 in ~100,000 kinda crazy). I was with my friends, but our groups kinda merged for the rest of the concert. She told me to text her later, but I just told her if she wanted to meet up, she’d have to text me (nice-that was pretty cocky. A guy who has lots of choices with women says things like that. He sees himself as a catch. Its up to the woman to catch his eye and enchant him. Women compete for him so he has no time or desire to pursue. He simply makes dates when they contact him). The next night she texted me to come out, fortunately I was already at the bar she was coming to so we hooked up there and went back to my place. She played the “not a slut” (“I don’t do this very often”… “I don’t want you to think I sleep around”… etc. blah, blah, blah… I’ve heard those lines countless times before. The panties still came off lol. Every girl is afraid to get the slut label. They have the same desires and impulses as men, however, when a guy gets laid he is a stud. When a woman does it she’s a slut. So they want it just as bad as us, but societal guilt gets in the way. Its just a matter a breaking down her barriers so she feels comfortable. Two steps forward, one step back. Eventually, once she gets too turned on, she drops all resistance and lets you take her.) card, so the Bedroom Olympics (Indoor Olympics) were limited to only a couple events. Today she’s been grilling me hardcore, asking if I’m just hanging around with her just to get in her pants. I think I’ve been passing the tests. I don’t really know where she got these ideas in her head. My guess is her friend (could be a girlfriend of hers who likes you and wants you for herself. Women can be ruthless to each other over a guy). Any thoughts? That’s one end of things. (just go with the flow and use humor to diffuse things when she tries to grill you. You just met and hung out once. Tell her when she pressures you that “you like her and the chemistry you two have. You just wanna have fun and enjoy each other without holding back so both of you can enjoy the connection you have. Lets just go with the flow, enjoy each other and see what happens.” Have the cool as ice, and smooth as silk demeanor of James Bond anytime she tests or pressures you. Nothing uncenters or diminishes you. When she contacts you, take it as an opportunity to set your next date with her, not letting her use it as an opportunity to grill you to see if you really like her or just want a piece of ass. You give your power away and put yourself on the defensive when you do).
My second encounter of the weekend was with the redhead we spoke about a few months ago. We went on a few dates and I screwed the pooch by being too upfront. I saw her at a bar, and we started talking briefly. We exchanged numbers again and parted for the night. Do you think I should call her or just leave it be? (if you screwed up before and she rejected you or blew you off, I would do nothing. If she has any kind of interest level left she will call, text or get in touch with you “just to say hi” hoping you would take the opportunity to ask her out for a date. If she does, make a definite date. If you never hear from her, its her loss. I did the same thing with a girl I had screwed up with years earlier. We ran into each other several years later. I was seeing a girl I really liked, but it was not serious at that time. Upon seeing her after many years, she still took my breath away, but I did not show that or become weak around her like I once did. A few days later she sent me an email and I made a date. I wrote about this particular story in my book.)
All the best,
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Results aren’t the criteria for success. It’s the effort made for achievement that is most important.” – legendary UCLA coach John Wooden