How To Handle Dating Women Who Have Too Many Guy Friends

What you should do if you’re dating a woman with lots of guy friends she hangs out with.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 36 year old viewer who is dating a 30 year old woman he met on Facebook dating for a few months who lives 4 hours away. She has a lot of guy friends and some of them she used to hook up with and still hangs out with them one on one. He got jealous and checked her and she got mad and told him he was insecure. Now he wonders what to do because he doesn’t feel comfortable and she doesn’t see anything wrong with it. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “How To Handle Dating Women Who Have Too Many Guy Friends.”

Well, if you’re dating a woman like this particular emailer, he’s 36, dating a 30 year old woman. He met her on “Facebook Dating”. And on top of that, she lives like four hours away. So the problem is, is that she’s got a lot of guy friends. Or it’s like mostly her friends are all guys. Some of them are guys she used to hook up with, or has hooked up with, and she hangs out with them one on one. And so he didn’t. I don’t know if they’re exclusive. He doesn’t really mention it, but he’s been seeing her for a few months, and she doesn’t see anything wrong with it.

But typically what you see with a woman that only has guy friends or most of her friends or guys is these are women that come from a broken home typically. They weren’t raised right. And at the end of the day, they typically tend to be liars and cheaters. They didn’t get enough attention from their dads growing up. And so they tend to seek it from other men, even when they’re supposedly in a relationship. So this will be a good email about setting boundaries and the importance of making the woman earn you, or I should say, earn your exclusivity.

Because if you’re dating a woman and she’s behaving like this, she’s got these guy friends, she’s. Because typically the reason she has no girlfriends is because she’s tried to screw her girlfriends boyfriends in the past and causes drama. And women just don’t like her because she’s just a ratchet human being. Hey, quiet back there. So I got all the dogs in here. They just woke up from a nap. So that’ll be interesting. It’s kind of funny when they play, how they whine at each other, and they’re [enacts dogs mouths play fighting] I’ve never seen that before.

It’s always, growing up, we just had one dog, and I used to have a German shepherd years ago, and you just never really get to see that unless you have a bunch of dogs, especially if they’re all from the same litter. It’s pretty entertaining, but it can be annoying when I’m trying to film a video and they decide they want to play.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach, 

I’m 36 and been dating a 30 year old women I met on Facebook Dating. We live four hours away, and to me she is a 10/10. To most men she’s probably an 8 or 9, and she knows many dudes want her. We talked for a month via Snapchat and once we met it was fire. Very passionate and lots of sex. I see her for two days at a time about three times a month. We been dating for about three months now. She often lags on texting back, but I always match this, and I never ask questions seeking validation or how she feels towards me.  

So if you’ve been dating for three months and you text this girl, and she takes a long time to reply, that just shows you’re kind of like a booty call to her. You’re like one of the guys she’s talking to her, or seeing. And you’ve got to pay attention to that because you could clearly see, well, hopefully you can clearly see, when he views this woman as a ten out of ten. He’s probably over pursuing too much. She’s four hours away. She’s probably spending too much time talking and texting on the phone. Not enough in person.

And if I was to guess, it sounds like he’s the one always doing the traveling. So she knows she’s got all the power. And if you’re in a situation like this. The girls four hours away. She’s got all these dude friends, has little to no girlfriends. And like I said, what typically happens is they try to screw their girlfriends boyfriends, and then they really don’t have any friends because women, no other women don’t want to hang out with her because she’s such a ratchet and causing problems.

So if women don’t like her and she says, oh, girls cause too much drama, I’m much better off with guy friends. That typically is a major red flag. I would not become exclusive with somebody like this. Honestly, the way this guy should be treating this girl is just treating her like a booty call. And I wouldn’t agree to be exclusive with somebody like this because as you’ll see, it really doesn’t look like she’s acting exclusive with him.

It’s worked great and been awesome. 

I’d say you’re definitely overriding her interest in you and you’re overriding the overall relationship.

But the challenge is she has many guy friends. Usually I don’t care at all and trust her when she rarely hangs with a guy friend. Recently I fucked up and appeared very jealous.  She went to hangout with her friend which she has told me that she used to chill with him, he also has a girlfriend, but when they chill they go in his sauna.  

Come on man. I got a bridge to fucking sell you if you believe that load of bullshit. So when you’re hearing stuff like this, just say, “hey, you know, you got lots of guy friends, you’re four hours away. Let’s just be friends with benefits. I’m not going to be exclusive with somebody who lives four hours away and mostly hangs out with other dudes. I’m just going to assume you’re sleeping with other guys, and I’m going to date other girls until I find a girl that’s loyal and family oriented, because this don’t work for me.”

And it really shouldn’t be an issue unless she brings it up. What are you doing back there? What are you doing? What are you doing? Don’t chew that. Get out of there. So anyways, I just saw the dog just ripped a big thread out of my nice carpet. That’s great.

So she told me she was gonna go hangout with this guy friend, she called me after and let me know that they hung out in his sauna together. I played it cool and acted like it didn’t bother me.  

Well, that’s the wrong move, dude.

The next day though, I blew up on her. I told her imagine how you would feel if I hung out with an attractive woman and we chilled in my personal sauna. She got super pissed and said obviously I don’t trust her.

I wouldn’t trust her either.

And I’m apparently insecure. She then didn’t talk to me for 24 hours, and now when we text and talk she doesn’t say she loves the fuck out of me, or she’s obsessed me and all those types of things that she used to say.

Well, she might be doing a little bit of love bombing on you. And now that she’s pissed at you, or you called her out and she’s going to stop doing it.

My question is, how to get the attraction to go back up to where she is all lovey dovey again and can’t wait to see me?

Thank you.

Well, stop calling her, stop moving forward. Again, what she just basically has revealed to you is that she’s a fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate, nothing else. I wouldn’t get exclusive with a girl is four hours away and goes and hangs out in a guy’s sauna that she used to hook up with, saying, oh yeah, she used to chill with him. That means they used to fuck. I wouldn’t be, that’s just stupid to get exclusive with somebody that behaves this way. Because that hoe ain’t loyal to nobody. You gotta see reality as it is.

I know you think she’s a ten out of ten, but she might be a ten out of ten as far as a buddy goes. But for a girlfriend? Wife? Absolutely fucking not. No way in hell would I ever be exclusive with somebody like this. She’s revealed who she really is, and it’s clear she’s going to keep hanging out with other dudes. So don’t call, don’t text, make her come to see you the next time. And if she talks about being exclusive or anything like that, just say, “No. We’re friends with benefits. I’m not going to be exclusive with you. You’ve got too many guy friends. You’re four hours away. You don’t have any female friends in your life.”

And usually that’s somebody that just is not capable of loyalty. I mean, you got enough sample size over three months to see what she’s like. So you’re not going to fix this girl. You’re not going to change her. You’re not going to undo what her dad did. So just treat her like a fuck buddy, dude. Hang out, have fun, hook up. Let her do all the reaching out. Make her come to you most of the time. You need to back off because you’re over pursuing a girl that’s clearly entertaining other guys. And you’re delusional if you think otherwise.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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