How To Keep The Romantic Vibe Alive To Avoid Friend Zone

How to keep the romance going to avoid getting stuck in platonic friend zone.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 50 year old viewer who admits he violated the principles in 3% Man, with a woman he’d been seeing for about 7 weeks. She told him she felt a platonic vibe between them and wasn’t interested in physical intimacy. He kept pursuing anyway and has unknowingly become her therapist and emotional tampon and is now stuck in friend zone.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “How To Keep The Romantic Vibe Alive To Avoid Friend Zone”.

Well, this particular email is from a 50 year old viewer who admits he violated some principles in 3% Man, and now he’s paying the price. So he was seeing a woman he met about seven weeks ago from, I assume, online dating. And after several dates, she told him that she felt a platonic vibe between them and she was not interested in physical intimacy at this time.

And so instead of just backing off and saying, “Hey, hit me up if you change your mind, I’m not interested in anything that’s just strictly platonic. But hey, I’d be down for friends with benefits or something like that. But I’m not looking for a pen pal or a friend.” And then you walk away. But he didn’t do that.

He kept pursuing her, sending voice notes back and forth to each other pretty much every day. And so he’s basically talked her out of liking and sleeping with him. And now he seems to be working to become her therapist and emotional tampon. And now he’s stuck in friend zone.

So it’s great that guys read the book, but if they’re going to do the opposite and violate principles and the book tells them what’s going to happen if they violate the principles, exactly what women will say, well, it’s happened to him and he’s kind of scratching his head. So all I can do is suggest and teach and gently lead. But as the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I appreciate all your years of helping people. I’m 50, and seven weeks ago I matched with a woman my age. We’re both never married and no kids but recently out of long relationships. She initially pursued me with cute memes and texts.

Well, she obviously had interests in the beginning. This is what women do. If a woman’s always chasing you, you don’t have to worry about getting dumped. And typically where guys go wrong in these cases is they start going back and forth with memes and texting and phone calls. And in this case, sending voice messages back and forth through text or through like a WhatsApp or something like that.

And what ends up happening is that they end up talking the girl out of liking them, and the more time they spend talking and texting on the phone or the messaging apps, the less they see each other in person. And then you get the dreaded statement that she gave him.

She seemed firmly in my orbit on all four dates.

I backed up. I missed a paragraph here.

She initially pursued me with cute memes and texts. I’d violated some principles by texting playfully back and forth during work hours but felt it was right. 



Well, feelings don’t care. The only thing that really matters is how a woman feels about you. She doesn’t care how you feel about her.

She seemed firmly in my orbit on all four dates. The second date ended in the parking lot with her straight up saying, “I like you, Bob. Do you like me?” I haven’t had a woman be that vulnerable before.

It’s like really? Maybe led a sheltered life.

She no longer seemed like carefree flirty fun.

So right there, typically is when the woman starts backing away. And when that happens, you match and mirror that, as the book says, but doesn’t look like he did that.

My response was simply a fun, smiley, “We talked about this”. I had complimented her quite a bit and felt it was obviously mutual.

So again, he’s focused on his feelings and how much he likes her, and he’s not really paying attention. He just assumes it’s reciprocated because she’s there.

I had complimented her quite a bit and felt it was obviously mutual.

Remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. Doesn’t mean you never compliment them. But when you’re constantly kissing her ass and telling her how beautiful she is and all the things you like about her.

And like, in this case, you’ve been out on four dates, it’s not going to go well. So the dogs are going crazy. It’s always good interruptions. So he’s making a lot of mistakes here. Overdoing it, making it easy. She knows exactly where she stands with him.

As I gave her small kisses again as we said goodnight. I tried for a passionate kiss, and she cited “PDA” as the reason not to.

So you’re getting the cheek. She’s turning her head. “Oh no PDA.” Usually that’s a sign of low interest or a structured woman. Again, if you’re dating a structured woman, and you go to kiss her, then she turns her head and says, “no PDA for you.” A 50 year old woman is like, yeah, I’m not calling or texting her back if I were you ever again. She has to reach out to you first.

She texted me later with hearts thanking me for a wonderful night.



Again, if that’s what she says, “No PDA. Hey, thanks for a wonderful night.” I’m just gonna like the message. I’m not calling her again at all. She has to be the one to reach out and mention getting together, because we don’t waste our time with structured women who are following all these rules. “No PDA.”

You think she’s going to go, “oh, no PDA” if she’s out on a date with Brad Pitt? Of course she’s not. She’s gonna be fucking Brad Pitt on the first date. That’s what’s gonna happen. But Mr. Nice Guy routine does not work with the ladies. Even though this dude is 50, he’s kind of acting like a teenager trying to learn this stuff for the first time.

Dates 3 and 4 were progressively more passionate, heavy making out at my place, no nudity. She remarked on how sweet it was that I was protective of her dog, and how I was already “getting to know me so well.” We ended the night with her calling me “dear”.

So he’s probably getting really excited about that.

And she said she would text me upon getting home.

But the women do this all the time.

But her text came much later than it should have and wasn’t flirty or sexy like usual – just a quick obligatory text about her dog having zoomies. She smile-emoji’ed my reply. I felt her interest slipping.



Well, the interest isn’t really super high to begin with and you’ve got to pay attention to that. The problem is, way too many guys focus on how much they like a girl, and they ignore the fact that it’s not reciprocated. He ignored the fact that she turned her head and instead of just walking away and never reaching out, never inviting her on another date unless she invites him or mentions getting together where she reaches out first. He didn’t do that. He kept moving forward. The quickest way to get somebody else’s attention is to remove yours. And he did not. He’s not following the book.

Three days later, she sent me this with crying emojis.



It’s not you, it’s me.

“Good morning, Bob!
 So, this is very hard for me to say to you, but I’m feeling a friendship vibe with us 🙁 I think you’re a wonderful human being but I’m just not ready for any kind of intimate relationship right now.”

What she’s really saying is, I’m not really feeling like I want to have sex with you now. So just be my emotional tampon like a good little boy, because I know you will.

“I just want to be straightforward with you. I’m sorry.”

So again, you get something like that. “Hey. No problem. I’m down to be friends with benefits, but I’m not looking for something strictly platonic. So you’ve got my number. Hit me up if you change your mind. Best of luck to you.” Then you ride off into the sunset and never to call or text again. And then if she does reach out a few weeks later. Hey, what are you doing? Then I’m gonna invite her over to make dinner at my place.

Because women know that if you invite them over in the evening to make dinner at your place, sex is on the table. And if a girl is trying to keep you stuck in friend zone and just use you for attention and emotional tampon as her gay male girlfriend, her lunch and dinner buddy where you pay for everything and you get a little peck on the cheek telling you what a great guy you are, and how she doesn’t deserve you. But you know, it never goes beyond that. It’s just a bad way to go.


I replied immediately with, “Oh you bet! No worries 🙂 Be in touch anytime.” She wrote back, “I hope you’re not super upset” and later voice messaged me to say that she just needs to move slowly and try to understand her feelings – that she had high anxiety about an intimate relationship so soon after her breakup.

So what does that tell me? He got dopey. He was too serious, too soon, too focused on her relationship, locking her down to a commitment, already acting like her boyfriend, thinking she was ready to be his girlfriend and she bailed. Instead of being a challenge and letting her come to him at her pace. He tried to force things, violated the principles in the book, and predictably, exactly what the book said would happen when you do these things, it happened.

She friend zoned him. So instead of her interest going up like it was initially, he drove it into the ground with too much unattractive behavior and too many violations of the principles in the book. They’re there to prevent this. But if you’re going to do the opposite and get dopey and only focus on your feelings, you’re going to get burned. It’s inevitable.

I didn’t pull the “sex and romance or nothing” card.

Well again, it’s like, why? Why are you here, dude? If you’re going to do the opposite of what I teach. You’re gonna keep coming up with big, fat zeros. But it’s your life. You do, you boo boo. You want to try and reinvent the wheel? You go for it.

Instead, I just said she was worth moving slowly over, and we left it ambiguous.

So in other words, you got friend zoned and you said, “hey, no problem. I’m happy to be in friend zone and hopefully you’ll give me another chance in the future.” Whereas Chad Thunder Cock is going to respond the way I teach to respond. And like I said a minute or two ago in the video, but this guy thinks maybe he thinks he’s a know it all. The fact he’s focused on his feelings, I suspect he may be a liberal because they’re always like, “I feel this. I feel like…” I feel like they’re always focused on their feelings. The problem is when you do that, you’re acting like a chick. You’re not acting like a man.



That was two weeks ago. Since then, we’ve been taking turns sending voice-messages back and forth daily.

So what you have done is you have totally agreed to be her friend and her buddy and her pal, her gay male girlfriend. You may get a peck on the cheek or a hug and in her mind, because you keep doing this, she thinks you’ve agreed to friend zone, and you’re totally cool with it.

They keep increasing in length, now to 10 minutes each.

It’s like you’re droning on for ten minutes and text with a woman who doesn’t want to see you and doesn’t want to sleep with you. Hoping that she’s gonna change her mind if you just say the right things with these ten minute messages. Bro, you’re literally completely doing the opposite of everything the book teaches. So maybe you’re trying to prove how doing the opposite of the book doesn’t work well. Whatever.

We talk about each other’s days and funny things we’re going to do together.

But yet they’re not getting together to do anything. So the more you talk about the future and what you’re going to do together, the less you’re going to do anything together. Again, it’s in the book, but you don’t want to listen. So whatever. How is that blue balls feeling right about now?

She is careful to keep flirting to a minimum.

Yeah, because she doesn’t want to give you the idea that she wants sex and romance. She wants you to be a good little boy, a good little hairy Honda, and do favors for her and take her places and spend some money on her and and keep her busy. When Chad Thunder Cock, the guy she’s actually sleeping with, is too busy.

Yet spends minutes saying how I’m a genius, disciplined, funny, “too cute”, and talks about how alike we are and how much she enjoys these messages.

See, she just got to throw him a few little scraps, a few little compliments. He’s like, “so I’ve got a chance.” But his balls are the size of watermelons at this point.

We talked on the phone last night, but I’m not making actual plans because I think it should be her idea.

Well, at the end of the day, dude, you should have responded, like I said. And now you’re kind of stuck just sending ten minute voice memos to a woman who enjoys your attention and validation while she continues to look for somebody who makes her pussy wet. Because you certainly are not. And you’re acting like a guy that has no choices and no options and is a perpetual loser with the ladies. That’s why you got friend zoned dude.

I wouldn’t say you violated some principles in the book. I see no evidence in your email that you actually followed anything in the book. And so what should you do now, if whether it’s this guy or somebody else that’s done the same thing and is tired of having blue balls the size of watermelons. Well, you don’t call, you don’t text for any reason.

Your pursuit of this woman is over forever. From this point forward, she’s got to do 100% of the reaching out. And the only way you’re ever going to get together or do anything is if she brings up seeing you or talks about doing something with you. And so you’re not going to go anywhere. You’re not going to meet her out. You’re not going to take her to lunch. I know it’ll probably be hard for this guy.

It’s probably a 50/50 shot that he listens to me because he’s clearly maybe he seems to be proud that he’s doing the opposite of what I teach, but then it blows up in his face. And it’s kind of like the people that believe in socialism. It’s like, doesn’t matter. It’s been tried in over 100 countries and failed 100% of the time.

Once we get the right people, it’ll just definitely work. In other words, once he comes up with the right combination of words, the panties will drop. But he’s got to start acting like a man, a masculine man that is attractive and used to getting what he wants. He’s acting like the hairy Honda, the perpetually friend zoned guy with blue balls, and didn’t have much luck with the ladies.

So he read my book and nothing changed. He kept behaving exactly the same way and it doesn’t seem to have dawned on him that it’s not working. So, I mean, how much fun are you possibly having? You’re wasting all his time. He’s probably not talking to any other girls, and all of his emotional energy is, “well, I hope she changed her mind. Maybe this next message will cause her to want to sleep with me.” It just doesn’t work that way, dude. So if you’re not going to follow the book, you might as well give it to somebody who actually will.

But again, if she reaches out and she says, oh, I haven’t seen you in a while, we should get together and say, well, let’s get together at my place and make some dinner. She says, “Well, I told you I was only interested in being friends.” Then you’ve got to say, “Well, we can be friends with benefits, but I’m not looking for something that is strictly platonic. If that’s all you want, then I’m going to politely decline and move on and wish you all the best. And you got my number. You can hit me up if you ever change your mind. But I’m not interested in something that’s strictly platonic.”

The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. And the problem is he’s too scared to walk away and stand up for himself and what he wants because he is a shitty negotiator for himself. He always puts himself last and probably deep down, doesn’t feel like he deserves to have the woman he wants. And so he continues to do unattractive things and even though he’s watching videos and read the book, he’s literally doing the opposite of it.

So if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to continue to get what you’ve always got. And if you’re 50 years old, I would imagine if we were doing a phone session, this is kind of been perpetually how your life has gone. And when you have had relationships, it’s probably been with women that you really weren’t super into. Sounds like you probably settled a lot in your life because you couldn’t get the girl you really wanted because you’re just way too much unattractive behavior.

Again, somebody that’s 20 years old that behaves exactly the way you did is going to get the same exact response from a woman. It has nothing to do with age. It has everything to do with you’re just displaying too much unattractive behavior. And again, you’re doing the exact opposite of everything that the book teaches. So she has to agree to come over and make dinner or you’re going to withdraw the offer. And if she does come over and make dinner, she has to come over at least three dates in a row.

Where you make dinner and you hang out and have fun and hook up. So if you hook up all three dates in a row, and again, she’s got to do all the contact initiation and you invite her over. Then after the third date, then you can meet her out and pick her up and take her on dates. But you’ve still got to let her do all the reaching out because she stuck you in friend zone.

Therefore, it’s up to her to fix it and get you out of friend zone and open them legs so you can come on inside, big boy. So who is it? “Many receive advice, but few profit by it.” I think it was Publius Syrus. Something like that was one of the the Greeks (he was an ancient Roman writer). Many receive advice, but if you profit by it. So that’s why I suggest maybe you should just give the book to somebody else, because he’s literally doing the opposite and he’s not getting anywhere.

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