How To Make Women Feel Emotionally Safe So They Want You More!

How to make women feel emotionally safe so they want & pursue you more.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who recently got divorced. He says for the first time in his life he’s dating without chasing, over-texting or trying to lock women down too quickly. He’s now dating 2 different women he met on hinge, but feels a little guilty because he’s never dated multiple women at the same time. He shares how things are going well with both, but he’s unsure which one to choose.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “How To Make Women Feel Emotionally Safe So They Want You More!”.

So this particular email is from a viewer who recently got divorced last year. He’s got two little toddlers that he has part time. So as you can imagine, being a single dad and having two kids part time, he doesn’t have a lot of free time, so he’s got to make sure he’s not wasting what little free time he has with low interest women.

So what he’s really loving is that he’s obviously read my book. And he says it’s the first time in his life that he’s dating without chasing, without over texting or trying to lock women down too quickly. So interestingly enough, he’s now experiencing what it’s like to have an abundance of women interested in him. So he met two women on Hinge right around the same time.

I think he’s had about three dates with each of them, and he likes them both. And they both seem like pretty great girls. One’s a little more reserved, the other one’s a little more open, and he kind of thinks he’s leaning towards one of them, but he’s not sure. And he also kind of feels guilty of dating two women at the same time, because number one, he’s never done it before.

And, you know, most guys don’t experience this, even though this is how the average woman dates because, especially if she’s on dating apps, she’s got a lot of attention, a lot of choices, a lot of options. And how can a girl make up her mind unless she gives multiple guys the opportunity to date her and see how she feels, and then she’ll eventually gravitate towards whoever the most masculine guy is.

So he’s not sure what to do. He’s feeling kind of guilty, but he’s getting lots of compliments because one of the girls said to him how emotionally safe she feels with him. That’s what’s beautiful when you bring masculinity to your relationships with the ladies. It makes them relax. It makes them feel calm, makes them feel safe, and it makes them feel totally comfortable submitting to you and letting you lead the relationship in the interaction wherever you want it to go.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I recently got back into dating after my 10-year marriage ended about a year ago. I’m a 37-year-old periodontist with 50% custody of my two toddlers, so I only have a few nights every other week available to date. That makes me feel like every dating decision carries a little more weight.

Well, scarcity creates value. And when you’ve only got a handful of days, you know, I’m sure the guys cranking in his career and he’s got to be a good dad, try to take care of himself, work out, and then squeeze a little time in for meeting some new ladies. Looking essentially for somebody that’s excited to be a stepmom to his kids and hopefully a good one.

Your work has completely changed how I approach dating. For the first time in my life, I dated without chasing, over-texting, or trying to lock someone down too quickly. To my surprise, I ended up meeting two incredible women on Hinge around the same time, and I’ve now been on three dates with each.

Well, this is the way it’s supposed to go my man. You’ve got the cheat codes to the ladies and life. Obviously, you’ve got Mastering Yourself too. Both books, if you’re new here and you haven’t read either one and you’re like, “who is this shaved head guy? What the hell does he know?” My books are free to read at UnderstandingRelationships.com you’ll see the little banner on the bottom of the screen.

All you’ve got to do is put your first name, your email address, create a password. As soon as you hit enter, 3% Man will open up right in your web browser and you can start reading right now. And then you can try before you buy, you can see that when you read it and you apply it, you start getting results and you go, “okay, well, this guy doesn’t look like somebody that would know this stuff, but what he teaches works. So I’m going to get the audiobook or paperback or hardcover”, whatever it happens to be.

“K” is an engineer who lives nearby. She’s playful, affectionate, feminine, and conversation between us is effortless. Last weekend she stayed at my place, and we spent most of the weekend practicing the “Indoor Olympics”. 

Nice. “All you need is love”, right? John Lennon says that. Well, you need a little more than that, but it sure makes life a lot better.

Before leaving she told me, “You make me feel emotionally safe.” She texted me afterward saying she already missed me. “M” is different. She’s much more reserved and structured, but she also seems incredibly emotionally secure, kind, and drama-free. She’s gorgeous, asks thoughtful questions, and I could genuinely picture her being an amazing stepmom and partner someday. The downside is she currently lives about an hour away in San Diego, although she plans to move back to Orange County.

Which I believe tends to be a little bit more on the conservative side, if I remember right. Also what’s interesting is like when I was a kid growing up, Ronald Reagan was a governor. California was solid red. And then Reagan basically naturalized all the illegal aliens here who came from South America. And let’s face it, they’re all kind of have socialist worldview. And of course, who do they vote for? They voted for the Marxists. And California is now pretty solid blue.

She is also young, 28, and still seems to be figuring out her career. My heart is leaning toward K because the chemistry feels stronger, but my logical side keeps wondering if M might actually be the better long-term partner. 

Well, as the book says, your job is to create the opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun, hook up. Show the ladies a good time, make them feel emotionally safe, and whoever has the best attitude, who’s easygoing, easy to get along with, she’s nice to you. Ideally, she loves her dad, has a good relationship with her father, looks up to him, admires him, respects him.

Because as you guys have been following me for a while, know girls that come from broken homes and they don’t like their dads, or they don’t have a good relationship with them. They’re really hard to have an easy and effortless relationship. It makes a huge difference if a girl actually adores her father, admires him, respects him, looks up to him, trusts his authority, trusts his decisions.

But a girl that didn’t have that is going to be the opposite. She’s going to question you. She’s going to test you. She’s gonna try to see what she can get away with, you know, probably have boundary issues with her and other men, just because she was not raised right. And it’s not your fault. It’s not your job to fix or to save a woman who came from a broken home. And especially in this guy’s case, because he’s already got two toddlers.

And so he’s got to be thinking about his kids and who he’s gonna allow into his inner circle. And no matter who it is, it has to be somebody who, number one loves kids, wants to be a mom, would love to be a stepmom, maybe even have some more kids with him so he can start his own little Brady Bunch. So it’s important you’re in the vetting process. And so not only are you dating for a teammate and a lover, you’re also dating to find a really great stepmom for your kids.

So your kids have got to like her. She’s got to like your kids. And ideally she’s going to have the background. Similar goals, similar values. But three dates is just not enough sample size. And at the end of the day, your job is to keep dating and keep vetting. And it’s the woman’s job to convince him why he should choose one or the other, or over the other.

And if he’s not 100% certain which one he wants, then he needs to keep dating and test driving the car, so to speak. Who knows, maybe even he’ll meet a third option that might even be better than both of these two. One is no choice. Two is a dilemma which he has a dilemma right now. Three is a proper choice. So maybe he could find a third one potentially.

Because you’ve got to think of yourself as like the world’s most eligible bachelor, and you’re not going to just settle for any old girl. You want a girl that’s going to fit right into your life. She’s going to respect you, respect your authority. When you tell her no. When you tell her how you want things to be, she’ll be like, yes, daddy. And she’s not going to try to nag you and get you to try to change your mind. So it’s important.

She is also young, 28, and still seems to be figuring out her career. My heart is leaning toward K because the chemistry feels stronger, but my logical side keeps wondering if M might actually be the better long-term partner. M reached out this weekend with what felt like an invitation for me to set up another date, but I haven’t done it yet because I’m conflicted.

Well, again, you’re driving the fun bus. It’s their job to convince you why you should stop seeing other women and only see them. And right now, you have a dilemma. You don’t have enough data for your analysis. As an old friend of mine used to say.

I’ve never dated multiple women before.

Well, it’s your birthright, bro.

And I’m worried.

And women are doing it anyway. So What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, as the old saying goes.

And I’m worried that if I already have a favorite, continuing to date M might be unfair to her.

Well, are you really ready to deep six M and say, hey, see you later. Because you don’t really know what you don’t know yet. I’d give it a few more weeks, see how you feel, see what happens.

Would you keep dating both until one relationship naturally separates itself?

Absolutely. May the best girl win. Again, it’s not just you, dude. You’ve got two kids. Two kids that need a good stepmom. So three dates is not enough to make a determination on either one. The one you might think is the best K right now. Maybe in a few more weeks she might do or say some things and you go, “yeah, I don’t really like that.”

And then you might start gravitating towards M. So until one of them separates themselves, all is fair in love and war. Because at the end of the day, most women are doing the same thing, and they don’t feel any remorse. They’re trying to make a decision of who’s the best guy.

Would you keep dating both until one relationship naturally separates itself or would you stop seeing M now because you’re already leaning toward K?

Thanks for everything you do!

Well again, my suggestion would be to keep dating these two because you’ve never experienced this before, you’ve never experienced having two women a date. And quite frankly, you should get a third one in there. You probably have kind of slacked off and you’re like, “Well, I’ve got two of them.” And you haven’t been on the dating app, but if it was me, I’d get a third one in there.

That’ll really give you some perspective. Who knows, maybe the third one really knocks your socks off and blows both of these two away. You just don’t know what you don’t know. But you don’t have enough information yet to make a decision. But you should take this as a great compliment because you’re handling things. You’re leading the dates, you’re acting masculine. You’re seducing the ladies.

At least one of them you’re seducing. I don’t know about the second one. Like M, I don’t know if he’s slept with her or not, but, again, I would take my time and get some more. But you’re doing great, man. And what also really helps is you’re trying to learn the book and now you have multiple women. So with both of the women, you’re going to give off more of an abundance vibe. It’s the same kind of vibe that every guy experiences, that when he’s single, it seems like there’s no girls to be found.

And then as soon as he gets a girlfriend, there’s girls coming out of the woodwork wanting to date him. And the average guy thinks, you know, especially when a relationship is not going well, they end the relationship. And then they”ve got all these girls that they can date. And as soon as the relationship ends, their vibe changes because now they don’t have abundance anymore.

And then all those women are like, poof, they disappear. So having multiple women in your life makes it much easier to do more things right than wrong, especially as you’re learning the book. So I would keep doing what you’re doing. I think you’re doing a great job. You’re not being a jerk to either one of them. You don’t know what you don’t know yet. So you need more time. And like I said, I would get a third one in there.

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