How to take it slow so you can overcome any last minute resistance to seducing a woman.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who went on several dates with a woman who was clearly interested and turned on by him. However, he became impatient and moved way too fast to the point he was trying to seduce her every time faster than she was ready for. Each time he would quickly leave dejected irritated and turned off. After she answered the door in her underwear the last time they saw each other, he assumed she was toying with him and left after trying to seduce her unsuccessfully once again. He hasn’t heard from her since and hasn’t reached out. He asks me to critique his approach. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, How To Overcome Her Last Minute Resistance To Seduction.
Well, I got an email. This guy, I think he’s kind of relatively new to my work. And most importantly, at least he’s new applying what’s in 3% Man. And so, he says he’s read about six times. And so, he’d been seeing this girl for about a month, and things were really hot and heavy every time they got together. And there was dry humping involved, even the last time that he saw her, she comes to the door, nothing but her underwear.
And so, when you look at something like that, you’re coming over for a date. It’s that’s pretty obvious it’s hey, you’ve made it to the promised land. As long as you don’t talk me out of it. But unfortunately for our viewer, he was a little impatient, got a little butthurt. He assumed that she was just toying with him. And you could see as we go through this multiple dates when he didn’t get as far along as he wanted to, because he was a little too impatient, and his game was a little sloppy.
But hey, this is how you learn this stuff. He ends up walking away from a woman. Quite frankly, he should have been able to seduce. So, he writes in details of what he did. He’s like, Hey, critique my approach. What could I have done differently?
So, it’s important to understand that when you’re trying to seduce a woman, that there’s a lot of things going on. She doesn’t want the slut label. She doesn’t want you to think she does this all the time. And you’re probably especially you guys been following me for a while. When you’re hooking up with a girl, it’s like almost 100% of them say, “Oh, I never do this” or “I don’t usually do this” or “I never do this kind of thing.” And you’re like, “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”
So but it’s important that, as Thích Nhất Hạnh said, “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” And women have to know that any time prior to and even in the act, that she will tell you, put the brakes on and you will respect those boundaries. It’s super important. And so, when it comes to seducing a woman, the mindset is you have to totally be non-attached.
But the important thing is you want to go slower than she is to the point where she’s the one tearing at your clothes to take them off and grab you, and put you inside her. But when you go too fast, especially like a couple of times, this guy just grabs her in certain places because he thinks, “Hey, she’s dry humping me, let me just grab her crotch.” And so, the idea is you want to be smooth.
And the book lays it out, 3% Man lays it out. How to be smooth. It’s like if she’s grabbing you between the legs, maybe you should only be fondling her breasts a little bit, or her back. The idea is that you want her to be the one that gets impatient, that things are not moving along quickly enough. But it takes time to read a woman’s body language to be in these situations. And with enough women or enough different women, or the same woman enough to really learn this stuff.
But like I said, the important thing is you always got to respect the healthy boundaries there and not try to rush it. And that’s what I see this guy did is he got a little impatient, he got a little perturbed, he got butthurt, and he abruptly left the date several times, whereas, hey, hang out, have fun, hook up. Doesn’t mean you encounter last minute resistance and then you take another run at it five minutes later.
And then when it doesn’t work out, you just get frustrated, upset and say, “Well, I’m leaving.” Because that communicates, which this guy definitely did, that you’re just trying to get laid. You don’t really care about her. And that’s the important thing is women want to feel like you actually care about them and you want to be there with them as a person. And it’s beautiful if you guys make love. But if not, if she’s not comfortable, that’s totally okay too.
You don’t ever once see any of the James Bond movies where James Bond is seducing a girl and she’s like, “Hey, you’re not getting in my pants. There’s no way I’m sleeping with you tonight.” And he just smiles at her and he takes his time and eventually she just gives in and lets him have his way with her. And the thing that you always notice that he’s always very slow.
He gets to know one for a while. They interact for a while, and it’s not till later in the evening after they’ve been running from bad people all day long, that the seduction happens. And so that’s why hang out, have fun, hook up. The hooking up part is always at the very end. But it’s important when you encounter last minute resistance, you just got to recognize that, hey, you’re going a little faster than she is, which is the opposite of what you should be doing.
It means you need to go slower than she is. And I’ll have some examples of just how I learned this stuff. Because if you don’t know it, if you don’t understand it, especially like in this guy’s case, he just taps out and goes home, and she can feel that he’s mad and he’s upset that he didn’t get to the Promised Land and get to share her secret worlds. So with that said, let’s go through his email.
I’ve read 3% Man 6 times now and I’m slowly learning and taking in the information. So, I’ve been seeing this girl for about a month now and things were going great. On the first date we went for a drink, and we had a good laugh. She was showing signs of attraction because of all of the signals she was giving.
Well, that’s a good sign.
I cut the date short and then said “hey it was great meeting you” she said to me “where is your car parked? I can walk with you.”
So when you hear something like that, the girl wants to walk with you back to your car. That’s pretty obvious that she wants to be alone with you and she feels safe and comfortable with you. And so that’s a good sign because that could potentially turn into you’re making out you’re dry humping in the car, which ends up, I think, happening that first time.
And then she goes home with you or you take her back to her house and then she invites you in. But it’s important how you respond. Remember, you’re trying to go slower than her. And so if you’re getting plenty of pussy, if you’re getting laid plenty and you have plenty of girls in your life, maybe you’re totally single, maybe you got a rotation, maybe you got 1 or 2 other girls that you’re seeing and hooking up with. Your balls are already drained, pretty dry.
And so, you can take it or leave it. You don’t really care one way or another. That’s why guys that are single are like, “No women paid attention to me. And then as soon as I get a girlfriend, girls are coming out of the woodwork.” And then as soon as they become single again, girls go to not paying much attention to them.
It’s because of the vibe that you’re giving off guys that are taken, guys that have plenty of women and feminine energy in their lives. They can take it or leave it and they give off that right vibe. That is the opposite of what most men are giving off towards women.
So, I said yes great. So, we walked about 10 minutes and when we got to my car, I gave her a hug goodbye.
I would have gone for the kiss because again, you’re giving her a hug. She’s asked to walk with you back to your car and you hug her. That shows a lack of confidence, dude. I just would not be doing that. So it’s like she’s basically saying, “Hey, let’s go be alone together near your car.” That’s almost if I was a bad man, I’d be going, that means, “Hey, I’m willing to have sex in your car as long as you don’t talk me out of it or do something weird.”
But the bottom line is, at this point, he should take it as a compliment that she feels safe and comfortable enough with him to go back to his car to give him the opportunity potentially to seduce her.
But she seemed as if she didn’t want to part ways just yet.
Yeah, obviously, she’s a little bummed because she was hoping you would have manned up and kissed her. So when you give her the hug, it communicates a lack of confidence. And also that’s the kind of thing that a friend would do or a gay male girlfriend. And if you’re trying to get into her pants, she’s walking for ten minutes back to your car and you hug her.
It’s like, come on, bro, seriously. So he’s being a little bit of a cold fish and trying too much to act like he doesn’t care. He’s being too indifferent. And it’s like these are some obvious signs that she’s interested, but she walks back with you to your car and then you go and give her a hug and it completely gives a different vibe. She has a perception that you’re a confident guy and you know what to do, and then you give her a hug. It’s like, Come on, come on, man. Come on, man. It’s right in the book. You go for the kiss.
So, the next morning I get a text from her saying, “How did you think our date went?” And I said, “It was great I had a lovely time. Thank you for joining me.” Anyways I called her 3 days later saying, “Hey, when are you free?” And she said, “I can be free anytime for you.”
So, when you hear that kind of a response, I can be free anytime for you. It’s like, take me and lead me Tarzan to the bedroom and have your way with me. As long as you don’t talk me out of it. So that is a really great response. You know, despite the fact that he hugged her, it really it does work to his advantage because then she’s like, does he not like me? Does he just think of me as a friend? Like, what’s going on?
And remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. So he hugs her like a friend would do. And then yet he calls her several days later for a date. So it actually worked to his advantage as far as building anticipation.
But, if he had gone for the kiss and they just started making out and heavy petting and then he’d have gotten into the backseat of the car. It’s a good chance he would have been burp, chicka, burp, burp. Burp, chicka, burp, burp.
So, I set a date for the Saturday. I met her on the Saturday, and we went for a walk in the park, and we talked for about 3 hours. Anyways I toned down the mood and looked at her lips and back into her eyes and back to her lips again and she did the exact same thing which was crazy to me lol.
Yeah. So what this tells me he hasn’t applied this a lot. This is like the first time. That’s why he went for the hug because quite frankly, going for the kiss scared the shit out of him. And so, he wanted to kiss her, but you could tell he’s still really worried about rejection.
And so he feels a little bit guilty about using the kiss test on her. And then when she’s looking at his lips, he’s thinking, holy shit, this fucking shaved head guy actually knew what he’s talking about because I don’t look like the type of guy that should know or understand this stuff on the level that I do. It’s like, That’s okay. Even if you think I’m full of shit. If you apply what’s in here, it will work for you and work way better than what you’re used to.
I then told her “Bring your sexy ass over here” and she did then we kissed. After about a minute she got a little touchy with me and I said let’s walk back to my car because it was a cold night.
Yeah, we can snuggle in the back seat, put some music on, turn the heater on, turn the lights down low, maybe get some mood lighting in your car. Like mine’s got all that, you know, LED stuff, which is pretty cool. Most of the cars these days have that, so it’s a nice ambience.
We walked back to my car and the second we sat in the car she jumped on my lap and started kissing me again.
Now, if this this is obviously probably he’s not used to something like this happening. But guys that are this is like no big deal. This is kind of what always happens when so if that’s the kind of thing that always happens, you’re like, hey, it’s easy to still go slower than she is.
But this is what happens when a girl has super high interest in you. It’s like you can make mistakes, delay things, and it still works in your favor. It’s just if her interest was low, I mean, more than likely, if your interest was low, she wouldn’t have even asked to walk back to his car with him. But this girl really liked this dude, at least at this point in time.
I could see from her rubbing against me and touching my dick she seemed like she wanted to be touched even further.
Well, like I was saying in the beginning of the video, just because she touches your dick. Take your time. Maybe you massage her breasts a little bit. Maybe your hands go back up underneath her shirt and you undo her bra strap.
So, then when your hands go back around to the front, or you slide, slide up and down on her nipples and she starts sporting a high beams, and then you’re like, “Oh, is it cold in here?” The point being is you want to go slightly slower than she is. So you let her ride your dick and then yet you’re just caressing her because again, most guys that don’t know any better, where are they going to do? They’re going to grab the pussy right away.
So, I put my hand towards her “you know what.”
Uh uh, uh.
And she pulled my hands away which was cool. I tried again a little after and she did it again.
Yeah. You don’t go right for the pussy. It’s. This is detailed in 3% Man dude. That’s like, one of the last things that happens. That’s like, the last place. And if you do, it’s just like, “Oops, I bumped it with my hand” or “Oops, I accidentally bumped her clitoris with my finger as I was moving my hands around.”
But when you just go grab and try to stick your fingers inside of her, that’s the move of a rookie that is not used to it. And that communicates a lot that especially a woman who’s been seduced by a guy that knows what he’s doing before and then you just go grab her crotch just because she touched your dick.
It’s like, “Hey, easy, easy.” Because it’s better if she thinks that she’s more into you than you are into her. When you just grab her pussy like that, you’re just like every horny virgin teenager on spring break trying to pop his cherry.
I just laughed it off and every time she tried touching me, I started moving her hand away from my draws lol.
I wouldn’t have done that. Because then you’re kind of like toying with her a little bit. And not that there’s anything wrong with that, but when you just keep doing it, it’s kind of like you’re doing it in retaliation, and you’re trying to cause her to feel safe and comfortable where she drops all resistance and lets you have your way with her.
Anyways I ended our little dry humping session because I got bored.
No, you didn’t really get bored. You got frustrated and gave up because you didn’t think it was going to go anywhere. Because this is the kind of thing that if you’re in the car, you say, “Hey, you want to go back to my house and pop a bottle of wine, maybe put a movie in or something.”
And if she says, “No, let’s just hang out here.” Then you hang out there and you keep you keep going. But what’s happening is you’re going right for the pussy. It’s like two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward. You encounter resistance, Then you take one step back.
And you didn’t do two steps forward. You went ten steps forward. You went right for the crotch. It’s again, it’s detailed how to slowly do this in the book. And you were you just did and you acted like a rookie and it’s obvious that you probably haven’t been through this enough times. I mean the kiss test alone, he was like, Oh, I can’t believe this works. This is amazing. I thought Corey was full of shit.
Anyways I met her a few days later and we did the same thing again.
On the 3rd date we took a drive to the coast.
Because the other thing you’ve got to be thinking about the logistics of sex when things get touchy feely like this, you want it to be a fairly short ride from wherever you are to your house or her house. Because you’re trying to facilitate the logistics of sex.
If you’re driving for an hour away, then it’s like an hour drive to get back to your house. I mean, the mood’s going to be totally different after a long car ride when you finally get home. That’s why you got to think about these things. And if a guy is not used to getting laid, they oftentimes won’t think about it. And then they’re shocked when the girl is ready to bump uglies and they don’t have a condom, or they’re just too far away.
There’s no place that they can get it on other than maybe in a car. Which it sounds like in the first date, she was probably ready to get it on in the car, if he’d have been more patient and had followed the instructions in the book.
On the 3rd date we took a drive to the coast because I wanted to walk on the beach and invited her to join me. We were dry humping again on the beach this time lol. Fast forward to the 4th meeting she invited me over to her house.
Ahhh. Most women sleep with a guy by the second or third date, so all the signs are there that she’s ready to get it on, but he’s just not smooth because he hasn’t practiced this enough.
When I got there, she opened the door in her underwear and started kissing me and she pull me into the bedroom.
So if that happens, if a girl shows up at the front door in her underwear and takes you straight to the bedroom, the only way you’re not getting laid is if you fuck up or talk her out of it. And we know, because I already mentioned this in the beginning, that he didn’t get laid. So it’s like, Oh.
I thought this was the time she was finally was going to stop playing games.
It’s like, No, dude! You just weren’t that smooth, that’s all. Your game sucked. Your seduction game needs work. You need to focus on that chapter and section in the book and learn the process.
We kissed and touched, and we were both half naked and I went to pull her panties off and she grabbed it and pull them back up.
Yeah. You’re out of sequence, bro. Too much, too soon. You’re supposed to be going slightly slower than she is. And when you’re trying to take her panties off and you’re half naked still. I mean, all she had, I assume she had a bra on and her underwear. So you just have to slow it down.
So, I gave it 5 minutes and tried again. She did the same thing, so I said to her I’m going to use the bathroom. I went to the bathroom and relieved myself to get clarity.
Because, you know, he’s just stewing. He’s like, What the fuck? I’m ready to bust a nut right now.
And then I went back to the bedroom and said,
God. Come on, man. Before I even read this.
“I’m heading off now, but it was fun” and she insisted I should stay over.
But I declined, and I kissed her and said “not tonight but maybe some other time.”
Yeah, that was. I’m sorry, dude. That was fucking stupid. That was really stupid. I would have gone to the bathroom and came back out and continued lying down. Now, I had when I was reading this, it reminded me of a girl that I was out on a date with and we’d hung out all day and had been drinking and having a good time.
And at this point it’s like, I don’t know, 11:00, we’re back at my place and we’re in my bed. And she’s just basically I think I had her panties on and she had stopped me and didn’t want to go any further. And I was tired at that point and I was like, I didn’t really care one way or another.
And so I just kissed her and rolled over and just said good night. And I laid there and just was starting to doze off. And then, I don’t know, three, four minutes later, it’s just silence. She didn’t say nothing. What do I hear? She starts taking her panties off. And when I heard that, I was like, Yeah, it’s on. And then I took my underwear off. And then. Rolled right over and went to the Promise Land.
Sometimes that’s all it takes. It’s like, again, take it or leave it. I didn’t go, Oh, I’m going to go sleep on the couch. I want you to leave. I was just like, I can take it or leave it. Maybe we’ll hook up in the morning. Doesn’t matter. But it’s like, dude, it’s like. And she wanted you to stay and you left. It’s like, come on.
At this point it felt like she is toying with me.
No, your game sucked, dude. It’s like, man, it’s like t ball, and it’s like, right there. All you got to do is swing the damn bat and hit it, and you’re home free. But no, you wanted to get butthurt and upset and she’s toying with me. So why would a guy think that a woman is just toying with him. Because he’s not had the success that he felt he deserved in life.
And so that tells me that his mindset is, Oh, girls don’t like me, They won’t like me, they won’t stick around, they won’t want to be with me, they won’t want to have sex with me. And so he’s encountering some last minute resistance because it’s obvious that he just doesn’t know this part well enough in the book.
And plus, you can tell the things that he is applying that’s in the book. It’s scary because he’s never done things this bold and doing the Kiss test. I can understand for the first time you’re doing it.
It’s like, what if I look like, Aha, that’s the Kiss test. That’s from Corey Wayne’s book. Aha. Got you. Haha that’s not going to happen. Because it’s just something that happens smoothly in the heat of the moment and the heat of the passion.
At this point it felt like she is toying with me because she was putting up so many roadblocks and I can’t lie I was the one losing interest.
No, you weren’t losing interest. You were frustrated and pissed off. And so you got so mad, you said, That’s it. I’m taking my toys and I’m going home. I’m not going to play in the sandbox with you anymore because you’re a big meanie. I wanted some cunnilingus and I wanted to get the Promised Land. I wanted to play around with Little Man in the boat and she wouldn’t let me. So I’m out of here. That’ll teach her a lesson.
I left and didn’t talk to her again. And funny thing is she never spoke to me again. In this situation what could of I done better?
Thanks Coach Corey
Well, I roasted you off and on throughout the email, but it’s like, Dude, you were totally impatient and you weren’t reading the cues. It’s like if a girl answers a door in her underwear and a bra, it’s like, Hey, you’re getting laid. At some point, even if it’s in the morning, it’s like, Doesn’t matter. She’s invited you over. It’s like, and then you just abruptly up and leave like that.
Yeah. It’s no wonder that you didn’t hear from her, because from her perspective, what she saw was you made her think and feel most importantly, like you just wanted to get laid. And if you weren’t getting laid, you were out of there because you didn’t even want to spend time with her. And if you didn’t want to spend time with her, what does that mean? It means you just don’t give a shit about her.
It means you don’t actually care for her as a human being. You’re communicating that you don’t genuinely even like hanging out with her as a person. If you’re not getting any pussy and you’re like, This is a waste of my time, I’m out of here. There’s nothing smooth about that. That’s just absolutely atrocious. And so you got to get better, Dude.
This girl was like on a silver platter for you. But these are the kinds of things that you will learn from. And there’ll be a lot of guys that will watch this video newsletter and read the email on my website once that’s posted and they will not make the same mistake. So even though I roasted your ass, I appreciate you sharing this email because it’s going to help a lot of dudes.
And it was a good email, very detailed. And just like I said, you’re going too fast. You don’t grab a woman, And you don’t grab her by the pussy. You ain’t Donald Trump. You ain’t some famous celebrity. They can get away with doing things like that. And yeah, you can grab a woman by the pussy when you’re famous and rich and successful, and you can tell when a woman is into you, They literally throw themselves at you. It’s pretty obvious. And so when he would say things like that, it’s because that was his experience.
That was his reality. Women came on to him all the time. And as he said, you grab them by the pussy. That’s a fact of life. But there’s a time and a place. It doesn’t mean you can go out in public and just start grabbing random women by the pussy, because you’ll get slapped and arrested. But when you’re successful and you understand women and you have lots of interest from them, it’s pretty obvious the cues that are there.
And this girl went out of her way to communicate how much she really was digging this guy and because he was impatient, because he didn’t really understand the process of seduction very well. He got irritated, got butthurt, he got frustrated, threw a temper tantrum, and basically left every single time that they were together.
He abruptly cut it short instead of saying, hey, why don’t we get out and go back to my place and pop a bottle of wine or whatever, or have some coffee and tea and watch a movie, or we’ll Netflix and chill, whatever happens to be. It’s like, I can’t believe you left, dude. It’s like, Damn, what a missed opportunity. But hey, it’s a good email to learn from.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.
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