How To Prevent Women Becoming Too Obsessed Too Soon Using 3% Man

Things to consider if women are becoming too obsessed too soon using 3% Man.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has had great success using 3% Man principles. However, the last 3 women he’s dated have all become too obsessed too soon and start saying I love you and wanting a commitment after only 3 or 4 weeks of dating. He wants to take things slower & avoid this pressure dynamic in the future. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “How To Prevent Women Becoming Too Obsessed Too Soon Using 3% Man”.

So this particular emails from a viewer, he’s had a lot of good success using the principles taught in 3% Man. However, he’s having a little bit of an issue. He says the last three women that he’s dated, all things have gone so well with what’s in the book. By the third or fourth week, they’re pretty much obsessed with him. They’re in love, and they’re pressuring him to get into a relationship. And so he’s not happy with this dynamic, wants to avoid it in the future.

And he’s also tried slowing things down. And all it seems to do is get them more hooked. And so he writes in explaining what’s been going on and wonders what he can do. So I suspect that more than likely he’s meeting all of these women with online dating. So again, I talk about this a lot. You’re going to have much better results if you meet women that you date and have relationships with as a side effect to having a great social life.

In other words, you meet them through your social network, your hobbies, your interests, your activities, your friends, your coworkers. In other words, the network of people that you spend the majority of your life with just because when you get on the apps, you’re just going to get a higher incidence of women that are screwed up. And so if you have a girl that’s typically very insecure and she’s a little bit messed up, you’re going to experience this.

You’re going to experience within a couple of weeks, or sometimes even 1 or 2 dates or the first time you sleep with her, she’s going to want to get real serious real soon. And she often will get upset that you’re not feeling the same way. So let’s go through his email and see what’s going on. I mean, it’s a good problem to have, but, you know, going at 3 or 4 weeks, I mean, if you’re only doing one date per week on average and, you know, especially if you’re sleeping with women right away, you get to week 3 or 4 and they’re obsessing and wanting to lock you down.

Typically it happens in week 6 or 7 under normal circumstances. But 3 or 4 weeks is pretty soon, and it just looks like he’s dealing with a lot of insecure women. I suspect that these are all women that he’s probably met online. And so that’s not surprising at all.

Viewer Email:

Corey,

Throughout my life I have set myself apart as a strong dominant male. Your work only elevated my skill set and I find myself referring back to your work fairly consistently. I can tell you that knowing your work and living it has been a blessing in many ways, but I have noticed a trend that is unsettling. The last several girlfriends have all been amazing successful women and beautiful in their own unique ways. All share some qualities, such as, warmth, welcoming, secure, submissive, and fun to be around.

I cannot stress how excellent the level of these women are because of the knowledge and skills I’ve created to allow me this absolute luxury in life. This “problem” has now happened for the third time in a row, and it has shown me that I lack the skills to address this issue adequately. Your help/thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Here is the current dilemma: Pickup and early dating efforts are all about hooking up and having fun at a good pace. However, by week 3 or 4 their attraction is so far off the charts that they are in the “I Love You” mode. While this seems like a great problem to encounter it actually has been more troubling than good for me. Because it feels shallow and without a real solid foundation, almost a game of sorts.

Well, the other thing that jumps out at me after reading this email is it’s clear that these women are way more into you than you are into them. And I suspect what’s happening is you’re dating these women a little too long instead of just moving on. And so this is really important to learn to listen to your intuition, because the title of the book is “Woman of Your Dreams”, not mediocre women that takes you six months to fall in love with.

It’s like the women I wrote about the love stories that I write about in my book. This is like love at first sight. This is the type of connection when you meet that, it just lights you up on the inside. And you just know automatically. There’s no, “Well, she had a nicer butt. Well, if her voice was a little different. Well, if she had bigger boobs. Or, you know, if she was more into the things I was into.” There’s no hemming and hawing. There’s just an absolute overwhelming feeling in your body that comes from the inside.

It’s like, “Hell, yeah. I can’t imagine anything better than this. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for.” You just know you’re certain of it. Just like when you think back to when you met your closest friends. Typically people you click with, it’s like right away. There’s no hemming and hawing and way in things, or, whining. You just know instantly this is what I want, there’s no doubt. Again, woman of your dreams, not how to settle for a mediocre woman that doesn’t really stimulate you.

So I suspect that’s the other part of the equation here, is he’s dating a lot of women that’s online. And the other part is that he’s continuing to date women that he’s just not that into. Because, quite frankly, you don’t need six months to realize that she’s the perfect girl, You know, right away. But just because she lights you up on the inside doesn’t mean she’s a great girl. Doesn’t mean that she’s loyal and faithful. You still have to vet her. You still have to go through the honeymoon period.

But when every part of you on the inside says, “Hell yeah, this is amazing. I love being with this girl. She warms my soul.” There’s no hemming and hawing. It just flows naturally. It’s like, you know, the ex-girlfriends I wrote about. Especially if you guys have ever watched the videos with Katie and I, and the podcast that we did with the rest of the girls. It’s like all these years later, you know, 17, 18 years after we were together last. It’s like the chemistry’s still there. That’s the soul connection.

It’s more than just a physical type of connection there. And obviously anybody that’s watched those videos that are also in the Members Area of my Website and YouTube and Spotify and has seen those, it’s undeniable. It’s unmistakable. That’s the level of connection I’m talking about. Literally, the moment I looked into her eyes, the moment I looked into my ex-girlfriend’s eyes, that had the daughter. It was like it was on. I was never going, “Well.” It was just instantaneous. “Yes. Finally. I’m ready. There she is. This is the girl I’ve been looking for.”

So if you’re not feeling that and it takes you 2 or 3 months of dating to realize that you’re not that into it, well, that tells me that you’re staying too long and you’re trying to make something out of nothing. In other words, you’re trying to force your heart to feel something it doesn’t feel. You know, it’s like Steve Jobs said, “You’ve got to trust your heart, your curiosity and your intuition because they somehow already know what you want to become.”

And he also talked about what it’s like when you meet the right person for you. You just know. There’s no hemming and hawing. You just instantly know that this is what you’ve been looking for. You can feel it in your soul. So my suggestion is, you know, when you know that it’s not there, don’t keep dating these women for a couple of months, even if you are hooking up.

Or in this case, 3 to 4 weeks. But again, if after three weeks she’s wanting to lock you down and pressuring you, that’s too much too soon. What do I say all the time? Easygoing, easy to get along with. A girl that’s pressuring you right away is not easygoing, easy to get along with. That’s just not a place you want to be.

I feel like they demand that I reciprocate immediately. In most cases I will discuss the situation and try my best to understand how to navigate forward. I will not always give them an “I love you” in return until I truly feel some depth and certainty regarding the honesty of their heart.

Well, at the end of the day, if she was raised right, if her father did a good job, she’s used to her dad saying, “Honey, calm down, relax. Be patient. Take your time. Don’t be in a rush.” But if dad ain’t there, if they grew up in a very insecure environment, well, they’re going to be desperate. They’re going to be fearful, and they’re going to have a needy, clingy vibe to them. So it’s really important. I mean, you can ask these things on your first date. “Tell me about your father. What’s your relationship with him? Are you guys really close?”

That’s what you need to know. If she goes, “Oh, my father’s an asshole. He’s a narcissist.” Or “I never knew my father. He’s a real jerk.” Whatever happens to be. That’s not a good sign. You’re gonna have problems. If she loves her dad, respects her dad is like, “My dad’s my rock.” She goes to him for everything. Dad’s an actual man he’s not some fucking beta male that all the women walk all over in the family. When he puts his foot down and he makes a decision, that’s it. That’s the lay of the land.

That’s the law of the land. When he says, “This is what we’re doing as a family”, everybody’s like, “Yes, daddy.” If that’s not the case, well, if she was raised by a beta male, she’s used to pushing guys around and she’s not going to respect you, and she’s going to expect to be able to push you around because her father and the rest of the people in her family taught her that that’s how it is. This is part of the vetting process.

But they push and push using the I love you game as a measure and test of my manhood.

Well again, that’s a woman that’s being difficult. You want a woman that will make your dick hard, not your life. And already 3 or 4 weeks in, they’re making his life hard. Right away you should know that it’s time to eject. Put them in their place, set the healthy boundary. And if they continue to violate and get upset, well, you’re dealing with a needy, insecure woman. That’s not what we’re looking for. If you’re looking for a long term relationship, especially if you want to have kids, you want a woman who is raised right and they are rare.

Just like a good, true friend it is rare and you hardly ever meet them, so is a good woman. How often do you meet a new best friend? When was the last time you met a guy that you just became lifelong friends with? Maybe once a decade does that happen? So they’re rare. And a good woman is rare as well. And everybody else is, just they’re just cycling through. It’s like another bus every 15 minutes. Most humans just suck. That’s reality.

Then once I have reciprocated the relationship tends to shift to a lower level of attraction nearly immediately. Having noticed this trend I have tried to mitigate what comes next but in doing so I do fear that I might be pushing their attraction level lower.

Okay, so what’s going on here is that you’re being a people pleaser. You’re agreeing to be in a relationship just to get her off your back. That’s what a beta does. Remember the Steve McQueen quote? “I live for myself and I answer to nobody.” Can you imagine Steve McQueen, the late, great Steve McQueen allowing a woman to move him around and dictate things. It’s like, uh, no way sweetheart. Can you imagine Sean Connery being told what to do by a woman? It’s like, are you kidding me? When they say this is the way it is, that’s the way it is.

If they keep giving lip back, he’s just not going to put up with it. Or I should say he didn’t used to put up with it. And you shouldn’t either. So if you’re agreeing to just get them off your back, well, that’s beta male behavior. And being a people pleaser is unattractive. Telling a woman no is attractive, setting healthy boundaries and demanding that they respect it in a loving way, is attractive and masculine. Going along with it because you don’t want to upset them, that’s what a beta male would do. So don’t act like a beta male, because if you’re agreeing to their terms when they pressure you and you notice their interest drop, it’s because they just lost respect for you.

Because deep down they know you don’t really mean it. What they really want you to do, even if it breaks their heart, is to tell them exactly where you’re at. And that’s the way it’s going to be and not to pressure you. And if they want to continue pressuring you, then maybe you’re not the right guy for them. It’s okay to say that. You should look at it as that you’re doing them a favor by saying yes.

What I want to understand from you is, how would you suggest I handle the I love you game?

Well, again, I don’t look at it as a game.

In a way which allows for a more fulfilling relationship long term?

Well again, if you’re meeting one woman after another online, you’re going to get a higher incidence of chicks that come from broken homes. This is why I say to meet women as a side effect of having a great social life and a great social circle. And also, why are you continuing to date women that you have mediocre interest in? And why are you agreeing to be exclusive just to get them off your back? Because that is pretty weak. That’s not how a man operates.

It’s not how a 3% Man operates. If he ain’t ready, he’s going to say no. Even if that means that she doesn’t want to see him anymore. Or she gets upset and she goes and dates somebody else, he’s fine with that. The right girl will go at your pace. She’ll let you lead. If the woman demands that you jump through your butt after only 3 or 4 weeks, you should politely decline and say, “This doesn’t work for me, honey. I’m not going to be pressured.”

Some thoughts from my perspective are to obviously talk about it more with them when it arises and another is to slow the pace during the initial honeymoon phase. Not all relationships are exactly the same as I have used various techniques per each encounter.

Well you shouldn’t really look at it as techniques. It’s really just a way of living and being and showing up. You’re driving the fun bus at the end of the day, and she needs to be willing to submit to you. And if she’s not willing to submit to you and she’s got too much boss girl masculine energy, and she’s used to pushing around people in her corporate world during the day in business, well, she’s going to expect to be able to push you around too.

So maybe you’re also dating women with too much boss girl energy and you put up with it. They’re used to being able to intimidate men. They’re going to expect that you’re going to be intimidated eventually as well. And especially if you’re caving just to get them off your back. It’s like you should know better.

I have used indifference too, though this only created higher levels of aggression to pursue me for an answer. All I want is to create an environment where “I love you” comes from an honest level of interest and attraction and not such a shallow, and frankly dangerous place which quickly leads the opposite direction. Any framework or suggestions are appreciated. Very grateful for your time.

Yours in Success,

Bob

Well, as I said throughout the video, I would focus on the things that I pointed out. But I mean, in a nutshell, it looks like you’re dating a lot of insecure women. You’re probably only meeting these women online, and again, you should be expecting that. You also need to set enforce healthy boundaries, and they need to be able to go at your pace. And when you tell them no or you explain things the first time, you should not have to put up with getting badgered every time you get together with her trying to wear you down.

Again that’s not the actions of a woman that grew up with a father that had his shit together. That sounds like a woman that grew up with a beta male that she was able to walk all over and didn’t respect. If she doesn’t respect her dad, she’s not going to respect you or your boundaries. So that’s definitely something to think about.

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