How To Re-Attract Her If She’s Distant & Unsure Of Your Relationship

How to re-attract your woman when she’s distant & unsure of the relationship.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a new viewer who is long distance with his girlfriend. He realized that he was over investing, pursuing too much, needing too much reassurance of where he stood with her and the status of their relationship. Things have improved significantly since he started implementing my work. He asks how to continue the progress to get her back all the way. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “How To Re-Attract Her If She’s Distant & Unsure Of Your Relationship”.

So this particular email is from a viewer. He’s been following me for about a month. And so he’s also kind of long distance. I don’t know if that’s because they’re in college and they go to different schools, so they have to drive or travel to see one another. And so he realized that he was over investing, pursuing too much, and he was needing too much reassurance of where he stood with her.

And obviously the status of their relationship. Which at the end of the day, as the book says, the man’s job is simply to create the opportunity for sex to happen and hang out, have fun, hook up. And it’s the woman’s job to want to bond and connect and open up and receive love and have a relationship and be exclusive and family and nesting and the white picket fence and all that bullshit.

Because if you think about it, what do we notice instantly when we see a girl we like? We want to fuck her. Simple as that. We’re thinking about fucking. We’re not going, “oh, gee. She’d make a nice wife. Or my daughters would be really pretty if they look like her.” You’re thinking, “I want to get busy with that. I wonder what she looks like naked.” That’s what you want to know. So, I mean, that’s what we care about.

And because she makes things so good for us, and it’s so awesome to be with. Easy going, easy to get along with, communicates great, good attitude, loves her dad, loves her parents. Then we agree to be exclusive with her and only want to date and seduce and sleep with her. So she has to earn it. And so this guy basically started acting too much like a woman and ruined the sexual polarity.

And of course, his girlfriend became confused and was no longer sure of the relationship. The problem was, is that her emotions had changed. She no longer was strongly attracted to him and felt wet towards him and wanted to be with him. She was thinking that her feelings are gone and they’re probably never going to return because usually they don’t. However, he came across the work of yours truly.

But he hasn’t been reading the book yet because he’s like, well, I’m busy with school. It’s like, okay, well, I guess you’ll have a lot of extra time if you finally get dumped. Then you’ll be able to have time to read the book. So you’re in the middle of an issue. You can learn a lot from the videos, but the videos are designed with the premise that you at least know the baseline fundamentals in the book, and we’re trying to fine tune what’s in the book to your specific case.

So a lot of my phone sessions are guys that are didn’t listen, and they laugh about it in the first few minutes when we’re talking. Yeah, I didn’t listen. Yeah. I’ve been following you for two years. And no, I haven’t read the book yet. Or I just started reading it last week after I got dumped or put in friend zone or my girlfriend wanted a break or my wife is staying at her parents’ house. So you’ve got to learn a baseline fundamentals.

You’ve got to participate in your own rescue, especially if you’re in the middle of an issue. Because you’ve got to learn that the reason why I say read the book 10 to 15 times, there’s a lot of subtle nuances that you’re going to miss if you don’t learn it.

And you can learn a lot, which this guy’s done quite good so far with cherry picking and videos. But in order to sustain it, he’s got to fill in the rest of his knowledge gap and figure out everything he’s been doing wrong. And most importantly, understand what creates and grows attraction in a woman towards him.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

I’ve been following your work for about a month now. I found your videos right when things started going sideways in my relationship, and I quickly realized I had been making a lot of the mistakes you talk about. I’m currently in an exam period, so I haven’t had time to read your book yet.

Well, it’s a simple priority. You have at least four hours and your day, or over the course of several days or an hour a day. How can you ever have the time if you never make the time? So if you put the audiobook on 2X and then you can follow along with a digital or physical copy, you can get through it in under four hours. You’ve got to get the reads under your belt. You’ve got to learn this stuff.

Unless, of course, you like the idea of potentially being single because you just didn’t learn enough to completely turn things around. So when things are getting better, take the time. Is your relationship not worth it? Would you rather experience the pain of a breakup? And at the end of the day, the fucking book is free to read in the Members Area of the Website, like come on dude.

But I’ve been applying what I’ve learned from your videos — and I’ll definitely read the book as soon as my exams are done.

Well again, maybe you’ll have extra time because you get dumped.

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend for about a year. In the beginning, she was the one pursuing me heavily — very affectionate, always texting, always wanting to see me. It felt effortless.

Well, because the power was balanced and you were acting more masculine than feminine.

Over time, I think I started to over-invest. I became too focused on the relationship, over-communicated, and showed too much need for reassurance.

Basically acting like a girl. So it turned her off because you basically ruined the sexual polarity.

About a month ago she told me she was unsure about the relationship. Around that time she also stopped saying “I love you”, became less warm over text, and her overall attraction clearly dropped. That’s when I changed my approach.

Well, good for that.

I stopped over-texting, stopped trying to force conversations, and focused on being relaxed and creating good experiences when we were together. I also stopped bringing up the relationship and just focused on having fun, hooking up, and being present.

Well, hang out, have fun, hook up, that’s it. Create the opportunity for sex to happen. If she’s the one that wants to be in a relationship, she’ll let you know it’s her job to convince you. Your job is to show her a good time and beat up her pelvis properly. In other words, you’ve got to lay the pipe the right way, my man. If she loves having sex with you, there’s nothing but good things that come from that. But if she doesn’t like having sex with you or you’re terrible in bed, well, it’s going to be really hard to keep a woman around.

At the same time, I’ve stayed grounded in my own life — focusing on friends, fitness, family, and my own goals. We’ve now had two really good meetups, and I can feel a shift. She has started saying she misses me again.

So her interest is going back up, so it’s going in the right direction. So good job there. You have had success with cherry picking, but remember it is attainable but it’s really hard to sustain if you don’t understand the philosophy in the book. Because a lot of guys do this, they’re like, “Oh wow, this shit’s really easy, Coach. He’s such a great Coach. He makes it so easy. I don’t need to read this fucking book.”

And they’re getting laid. Everything seems to return back to normal, and then they just go right back over the course of the next several months to doing exactly what they were doing before to turn her off because it didn’t really click with him. And then the next thing they know is she’s needing more space, she’s breaking dates, and they’re going, “fuck, I should have listened to that shaved head bastard.”

She became more affectionate, talked about future plans like trips and family. Told me she feels like she’s gone from 50% to about 80%.

So it sounds like he’s having some logical discussions. So what would you say your attraction is towards me? Oh, it went from 50% to 80%.

Said she appreciates how calmly I’ve handled everything. She also said she doesn’t want to force herself back to 100% but wants it to happen naturally.

Well, at the end of the day, like I said in the beginning of the video, the whole reason why you guys started talking and hanging out is because you wanted to fuck. You wanted to smash. You wanted access to her pussy. That’s the bottom line. So focus on what made you successful, which is creating great opportunities for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun while you’re hanging out. And when the signs are there, she’s ready to be touched, kissed and seduced. Sweep her off her feet and seduce her properly and make her walk bow legged for the next few days.

I agreed and told her I want it to come naturally without pressure. My question is: am I on the right track to rebuild her attraction fully, or is there anything I should be careful not to mess up at this stage?

Thanks for your work — it’s already helped me turn things around.

Well, you should be careful make sure you read the fucking book, number one, because it’s free in the Members Area. It’s like, come on. But since you’re in college, spend the money to get yourself an audiobook. You can get it on iTunes. You can get on audible. The nice thing with audible is if you get a Kindle version, the whisper sync will basically highlight the words as they’re being spoken by the audiobook.

And if you put it on 2X, you can get through it in four hours. So again, what you’re trying to fix things and you’re trying to cut out the mistakes, or I should say, the likelihood that you’re going to make mistakes and display unattractive behavior. But until you go through the book, you’re not going to be completely 100% certain of what all those behaviors are.

So we’re trying to eliminate the wild cards. We’re trying to eliminate the things that you’re doing that turn her off, and you don’t even know it. Because we’re trying to do everything we can to send her emotions back up into the stratosphere. So she thinks about dropping out of college, where she’s at and coming to live where you are. That’s what you want.

You want her to be so sad when she has to leave, that she just wants to be with you all the time. And if you learn the book backwards and forwards, she’ll be eating out of your hand and she’ll only want to be with you and stuck to you like a sucker fish, which is the way it should be. But you have done a good job at clearly changing her behavior. But the important thing is, is you got to let her do all the reaching out, and then you make dates.

If you can’t see each other that week, then obviously you’re going to do a video date, have your wine, drink your coffee, eat your meal just like it was when you were in person. But obviously it has to be digital. So use FaceTime or Zoom or something like that or one of the other messaging apps. And I would do again, I would do like one day a week on video in between when you can get together in person.

And then when you’re in person, just hang out and have fun and hook up, again, you don’t need to be bothered with dating labels or exclusivity. You want to make sure she’s smiling and laughing and having a good time and having lots of orgasms and happy finishes. Because again, when she goes back home, she’s gonna be like, “oh man, it was such a great weekend.” And then she’ll brag to all of her girlfriends how skilled you are in the bedroom.

You’re a man that takes your time and makes sure his lady is satisfied. It’s super important. I mean, I thought always that was common sense when I was younger. I figured that out. It’s a pretty good thing when your girl likes having sex with you because then she’s going to want to always have sex with you. And if you’re treating her properly, she’ll always be open to having sex with you because it’ll be so good.

And you make sure you take the time to make sure she’s satisfied. That’s just solves a lot of problems. Because if you’re not getting along and you’re doing unattractive things, and then the sex is mediocre or not very good, then there’s like, why would she want to be intimate with you? But if you’re rocking her fucking world, even if you’re a dickhead, she’s still going to want to fuck you because it’s good dick.

So it’s important to understand that. So I’d be letting her reach out. You make dates either in person or digital, at least once a week, and if she can come see you, then you’re hanging out, having fun, and hooking up as often as you can. Like, I imagine if she’s coming into your town or coming to stay with you, she’s probably arriving on Friday and maybe driving back Sunday or Monday morning or something.

So you’ve got to be ready to lay the pipe, hang out, have fun, hook up. Just have the weekend full of fun things with you and her. And when she leaves, just say, “Call me when you get back. Let me know you’re safe.” It’s very simple. You have a very easy situation to fix. But again, you’ve got to put the time in with the book. You’ve got to learn what the other things you’ve been doing and saying that are unattractive.

Because again, the more you can cut down on your mistakes and do more things right than wrong, the less you’re going to have any issues. And that helps you as a man to focus on your purpose and mission so you can reach your full potential and build your empire with your lady.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.