How To Recover Attraction After Over Pursuing & Acting Dopey

How to recover attraction after over pursuing & acting dopey which turned her off.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who claims to have read 3% Man, countless times. He got cocky and a little full of himself and drunk called a new woman he was hooking up with. He turned her off and she ghosted him. A few weeks later she came back, but now she’s trying to work things out with her boyfriend. He asks what he should do in the meantime since she still contacts him often. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “how to recover attraction after over pursuing and acting dopey.

Well, this particular email this guy he claims, he claims, to have read 3% Man countless times. He got a little cocky and full of himself. And you can probably, you know, as I go through the email, see that there’s kind of parts of it, where he’s acting a little arrogant and full of himself and kind of letting the things that he’s learned go to his head a little bit. And as the old saying goes, “Pride cometh before the fall.”

So he met a new girl and they started hooking up. And then he made the mistake of getting drunk and talking to her one night, said a bunch of things that turned her off, and then she just completely ghosted him after that. So especially you guys that like to drink. And if you drink too much and you’re dating a girl you really like and you tend to call people when you’re drunk, it’s not a good idea.

So don’t do it. So a few weeks later, she comes back and then apparently she’s trying to work things out with her boyfriend, but she’s contacted him all the time, and he’s like, “Well, I don’t want to be hanging out with her if she’s trying to work things out with her boyfriend. So what do I do?” So it’s a really good email to go through just because a lot of guys do this, they really like a girl.

Their game is tight initially, and then they get a few weeks in and then they just kind of come apart. They get a little dopey, they get a little drunk on their own feelings, and then they start only paying attention to their interests in the girl, and then they ignore the girl’s interest in them, which by that point is usually starting to drop. And so you’ll kind of see the cat like behavior because he displays some weakness and some unattractive qualities.

She gets turned off and disappears, and he does the correct thing, which is he doesn’t run after her and lets her be. And then apparently he’s out with another girl that he’s been seeing kissing her and making out. And this girl happens to walk by and see them. And then he gets a call like the next day, which is always a good thing, it works in your favor. Women like you more.

Especially, this girl blew him off, ghosted him, and a week or two later, she’s walking down the street and there’s the guy that she blew off because, he drunk, I don’t know, he doesn’t go into what he said to her when he was drunk, but whatever it was, it completely turned her off and she ghosted him. But when she saw him making out with another cute girl completely changed her attitude.

Just like I had an example in here of a girl I was dating and things weren’t really going that well because I had displayed too much unattractive behavior too many times in a row, and so it was hard to pin her down to a date or whatever. And then I’m out on a date with another girl who’s really beautiful, and we were all over each other, and I run into this other girl’s boss, and she’s out on a date with her husband.

And of course, first thing in the morning, I got a call from the girl that was kind of wishy washy, and all of a sudden she had a completely different attitude change. Even if girls protest and say, this is not true, Corey, it’s not the way we are. It’s if you’ve ever been in a situation, it’s like they it’s amazing the effect that it has on them.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

And I assume he’s quoting from My Book. I don’t know if it’s exact or not because I don’t remember which page it’s on. But it’s true. It says, and this is from The Book.

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea”.

So what does that really mean? So it means that sometimes the cat gets bored, sometimes the cat doesn’t want to be around you. Sometimes, like in this case, as you’ll see, he displays a lot of unattractive behavior. He drunk calls the girl, puts his foot in his mouth, says a bunch of inappropriate things or things that basically made him look like a douchebag, and she blows him off. And so the idea is, “Eh, oh, well. I guess I’ll just kiss a different kitty cat in the meantime. She’ll be back.”

And having that kind of attitude, you don’t go run and chase after her. Just let her be. If you guys have seen me lately with the two puppies, you know Erica & I have got a boy and a girl. And what happens is Rocky the boy. He’s always chilling. He’s always hanging out. Wants to be near me. But the girl, Ocean, it’s like sometimes we’ll be sitting here filming and she’ll get up and go hang out and get attention from the girls. And then five minutes later, she comes back in, whines at me, wants some more attention, and that’s just the way they do it.

Like, she comes and goes even though she’s a dog and not a cat. She’s a female dog and she kind of acts like a feline. (Ocean and Rocky have two cat siblings for context.) She comes, she goes, she stays, and you’re just unbothered. You just do your thing. It’s like a microcosm. That’s how women tend to act. So, if the cat wants to go hang out with somebody else, the dudes are still hanging out. Dudes are still doing their thing. They’re still The Rock. They’re still the mountain. They’re not going anywhere. They’re not chasing after the kitty cats. (Even though the puppies do chase their kitty brothers.) They’re just hanging out.

Thank you for getting me my first girlfriend 10 years ago I have been a long time viewer and have read the book countless times I recently met a real estate agent through my landlord side I asked her out we went on a date first date was text book she let me kiss her.

She let me kiss her. What does that tell us about the mentality? “Oh, she let me kiss her. Oh, my God, I kissed the most beautiful woman in the world.” Well, if you love and value yourself, you’re like, “Of course she kissed me back. Why wouldn’t she want to kiss his handsome face back? Why wouldn’t she?” So that right there just, it gives you a little insight in his mindset. He’s kind of pedestalizing her a little bit.

In other words, mentally he kind of sees her as a little above him and he’s a little below her. He’s a little peasant. She’s the queen. He’s a peasant, he’s a serf. So that’s just, you’ve got to pay attention to that in your self-talk and how you view yourself, because how you view yourself is going to affect how you interact. And if you have the attitude of, “Oh, she let me kiss her.” Instead of “I kissed her. And of course she kissed me back because why wouldn’t she? Duh.”

And even showed me her tits she seemed to be very interested and even followed me first on Instagram I have. Followed your saying, “it’s a man’s job to create a romantic opportunity for sex to happen”.

Well it is. You’re supposed to be the leader. You’re the one with the penis. You have the point. So point in the right direction.

She told me she was working only 6 minutes away so she asked me to come during her break the following day and give her a kiss.

Well, if the kitty cat says, “Hey, come by. I’d like to see you.” It was like, well, if you can make it go by and see her, give her the hot beef injection.

This went good for 3 days 4th day she came to my house and she dipped my Chicken Tikka Masala in every yoga position possible later that night.

You’re naughty.

I got a call from her asking me what I was doing on coming 21st to which I responded, “doing you”.

It’s a good comeback.

The entire phone conversation went smooth in which I did 20% of the talking 80% listening she called me every time everything was great until.

Until.

I was drunk and went emotional bitch mode right after I did that she ghosted me same thing happened as you said, “Women are like cats. If you over peruse them they will run away.”

So what he did is he acted dopey. Remember what I pointed out in the very beginning about his mindset? “She let me kiss her.” So that gives you an insight into how he views himself. Like, “Oh God, I hope she likes me. I hope I win her approval.” And so he gets a little drunk and that mindset and that mentality comes out.

He says things and does things on the phone when he’s drunk that he wouldn’t normally do that basically, he lost all his inhibitions. So he acted exactly like the way he viewed himself was, “Oh, she let me kiss her.” So he basically acted that way. And she was like, “Oh, that’s repulsive.” And then so she dips. He doesn’t hear from her. So back to our email.

I was drunk and went emotional bitch mode right after I did that she ghosted me same thing happened as you said, “Women are like cats. If you over peruse them, they will run away.” I immediately stopped texting her and started focusing on myself and other women I have been dating to my surprise a week and half later she saw me kissing the girl I have been seeing and she ignored me completely and continued walking towards the bus station.

Yeah, because what if she says, “Hello” and you just kind of blow her off? And they’re like, “Who’s that?” “Oh, it was a girl I used to date.” So she just acts like she doesn’t care. Acts like you’re invisible. And you know what? What was nice about it, she didn’t clam slam you. She didn’t cock block you. In other words, clam slam, cock block for you guys that are slow. The females clam slam you because they have the bearded clam.

Guess what, she called me next morning.

Ha! I’m shocked. I’m shocked. I can’t believe it. Called the next morning. It’s exactly like what happened to me in My Book.

Insisted to meet at Starbucks.

Which I would have just said, “Well, why don’t we get together for dinner?” I wouldn’t have gone to Starbucks, but still a dopey pedestalization behavior. Still, still there. So he’s like, “Okay, I’ll go to Starbucks and meet you.”

Which I said, sure only if you buy me a Chai Tea Latte babe.

Well, he did ask for something in return, but again, your job is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. How are you going to do that in the middle of the day meeting a neutral ground for coffee? Or Chai Tea Latte? Is that such a thing? Have they turned Chai Tea into a coffee? I don’t know, I don’t ever frequent Starbucks. I don’t I’m not a coffee drinker. I think that stuff’s disgusting, to be honest with you. I drink tea, though.

I tried to be charming and mysterious as I initially was to cover for my bitch behavior.

Well, you still went to her and she set the table. She set the negotiating table, instead of you just inviting her over for drinks or whatever. Open some champagne and sit in the Jacuzzi.

We met and she gave me a tight hug and told me how her week went and guess what you egg headed Jedi there was another dude in the picture she told me she has a boyfriend.

Well, that’s a party foul. So then the question becomes, did she cheat on her boyfriend with you?

And was trying to work out things with him to which I replied, someone failed miserably to replace me. Lol.

That’s kind of funny actually.

At the end of the coffee date, she hugged me again and try to initiate the kiss through my cheeks I pulled back gave her a cheek kiss (in my mind I wanted to punish her bad behavior and tried to take my power back by acting cold specially when she saw me with this other chick). She has been actively calling me bitching about everyone. Her “hey babe” factor is back. My question to you is, should I keep acting cold until she breaks up with her boyfriend or cease to see her at all and ask her to call me when she is single?

And again, thanks for 3% Man.

Bob

Well, she’s got a boyfriend. You’re basically teaching her that disloyalty is okay. You don’t mind if she cheats on her boyfriend with you. And you’re a dunce like I once was if you think that because you’re such a great dude that she wouldn’t do the same thing to you if her interest is low. So that’s the kind of woman that’s a fuck buddy. Friends with benefits. And since we’re smart and we like living and breathing, we don’t mow other men’s lawns. So I wouldn’t hang out with her. I’d say, “Hey, it’s great to hear from you. I’d love to see you, but you got a boyfriend. You’re trying to work things out.

I like you, you like me. And it’s just better if you focus on your boyfriend. And if it doesn’t work out with him. Get in touch with me. I’d love to see you, but I’m not going to be your side piece. I don’t condone cheating at all, and quite frankly, shame on you for, I mean, I’m honored that you like me, but you have a boyfriend. And if you ever want to have the possibility someday down the road to date me for a significant period of time, or potentially be my girlfriend, I really frown on women, potential women, girlfriends who cheat on their boyfriends even if they’re trying to cheat with me.

I don’t like that because if you cheat on him, you’ll cheat on me. And that just tells me you are a person of low character and morals. I hope you’re not that way, but I just can’t be involved with you as long as you got a boyfriend. It’s just not right. I don’t know the guy, but I wouldn’t want to be him. So you need to figure that out. If it doesn’t work out and you definitely end your relationship and you’re single again. Hit me up. I would love to see you and spend time together. But I’m not going to be your side piece. And you know, you calling me and texting me, I love hearing from you.

But again, the stuff you’re calling me about, you should be calling your boyfriend about and not me. I just I can’t get involved. I’m sorry.” And I’d leave it at that because you’re encouraging disloyal behavior. You’re teaching her that disloyalty is okay and that you condone it, and you’re sending a signal to the universe that says, “Hey, send me more disloyal women. I’m totally down.” That’s what you’re saying. So what’ll happen is the universe will continue to send you that because that’s how you’re acting. You condone it. You’ve created the vibe.

You created a space that you’re like, “Hey, send any and all cheaters to me.” And then you get involved with somebody that’s a liar and a cheater. You attract how you act. So if you want somebody that’s loyal and faithful, do not be the side piece for some chick that wants to cheat on her boyfriend or who’s trying to monkey branch. You know, I see a lot of guys in certain communities that are always going to who’s supposed to hold women accountable. It’s like you, if you have a penis, that’s your job to hold women accountable.

And this is part of it. You don’t condone cheating. You don’t encourage it. You don’t agree to be the side piece. Like in this case, he found out she’s still with her boyfriend. I don’t know if she was broken up when they hooked up, but at the end of the day, we now know he’s in the picture, so you got to let her know. “Hey, this is how I operate. You’re with your boyfriend. Go be with him, work it out. And if it doesn’t and you guys do break up and you’re actually single, you know, I’m not going to be your rebound or whatever, but if you’re completely done with him, it’s like we can go out. I’d love to see you.”

And leave it at that. That will help you become more of a challenge because then she’s you just basically told her you’re not going to hang out with her, you’re not going to date her you’re not going to kiss her. You’re not going to sleep with her, and you’re not going to talk to her on the phone, because you’re not going to do anything that condones disloyal behavior in any way. That any of her interactions with you while she’s in a relationship is you condoning and encouraging disloyal behavior.

Not only in her, but other women that you’re going to meet. And if you’re looking for a girlfriend or somebody who’s going to be loyal and faithful, then you got to hold everybody accountable and you don’t tolerate any bullshit, and she’ll respect you for the fact that you have the balls and the self-control to say, “As hot as you are, as much as I desire you, I’m not getting involved as long as you got this dude in your life.”

So that’s the right way to handle it. See, when you live your value system, it makes decisions like this really easy, despite the fact that you’re hot for her and you like having sex with her whatever she’s now told you, it’s like, “Oh, yeah, I’m trying to work things out with my boyfriend.” It’s like, “Well, I’m not getting involved. If it doesn’t work out. Definitely get in touch. But other than that, it’s been great. Really enjoyed it. Call me if it doesn’t work out.”

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