How To Retire From Being Captain-Save-A-Hoe For Good

How to retire from being captain-save-a-hoe for good to have easy & effortless relationships.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story of a retired state trooper who lost his wife of 25 years to cancer in 2017. He became captain-save-a-hoe when he started dating again. He spent 6 years with her and when she dumped him he found my work. He shares how it changed his mindset and approach to women and how he finally retired from being captain-save-a-hoe for good and has an easy and effortless relationship with a great woman now. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. In the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “How To Retire From Being Captain-Save-A-Hoe For Good.”

Well, I’ve got a success story from a guy who is a retired State Trooper. He lost his wife of 25 years to cancer in 2017, and then about seven months later, started dating a woman who I guess he made a lot of excuses for. And he goes into detail on what he did, and he just says he acted like a beta male the whole way through. She eventually dumped him after six years, and right around that time was when he came across my work, started reading The Book and realized how much he had screwed up.

And he set about to change his approach, change his mindset, change the way he was he was interacting with women permanently going forward. And this girl, he started dating a couple of other women, and then this particular ex eventually started coming back.

But by that point, he was doing well with new women who didn’t have all these problems with. And now he’s in a relationship with a woman where it’s just easy, it’s effortless. And so it’s a really good email because the free one that I did earlier today, “My Fiancée Is A Habitual Liar. Is There Any Hope She’ll Change?” That poor guy is in the middle of it.

He’s with a fiancée that is just constantly lying and gaslighting. And so this guy has come out the other side and things are great in his life. So for those of you that are either in it or just came out of a relationship with somebody that was just terrible for you, toxic or just a bad person, this is a good email to give you hope

Viewer Email:

Dear Corey,

I was married for 25 years to my beautiful wife. Literally a perfect marriage. She died in 2017 after a two year battle with ovarian cancer. We have three wonderful children. I was devastated. I began dating about seven months after she died and met a wonderful woman. I was 52 and she was 47. She was a 6th grade teacher, and I was a State Trooper. I did everything wrong. I worshiped her, wanted to marry and smothered her at every turn. I was the epitome of a beta male. 

We dated until the spring of 2024. She ended things because I would call her out on her bullshit. I would have never left her. My weak beta male self. She’s never married, no kids, numerous failed relationships, her mother died about the same time as my wife, they were cancer pen pals. She’s very close with her family and I was often not included in family activities.

Obviously because she didn’t think of you as family. She didn’t include you. You clearly weren’t that important to her.

My family is eight hours away and I only get together with them several times a year. Basically, I made her my world. Her sister is married and has two sons. She never gave my children much attention. She never spent any holidays with my family. She finally officially ended things and after finding your work, I went full No Contact. I can follow the letter of the law to the T, lol. Soon, about six weeks, she was stalking me on social media, random texts, some I responded to and some I did not.  

So you notice he went into No Contact. And most of the time when guys come to me, it’s like they’ve been dumped. And then the woman starts coming back because they want her back. But in this case, he had learned so much between The Book and the videos, he realized she wasn’t really a great person.

She eventually texted me and wanted to go out. I didn’t want her to come over and make dinner and was not interested in having sex with her so she picked me up and took me to dinner in another town at my request since I had been on a couple dates with a local gal I had met a month before and I did not want to get busted. Dinner was fine, she made small talk but I was pretty cool to her. She paid and we left and she dropped me off at home. I did not invite her in. I continued dating two other gals, one I really liked and the other was just fun. 

My ex continued to text random things, some I responded to, some I ignored. Her birthday and Thanksgiving came and went and I never said a word. She asked me out again but I was with the one I liked so I declined. The second gal eventually texted and said I wasn’t meeting her emotional needs. I was at a flight school in Duluth pursuing my mission and purpose as a flight instructor. I retired as a State Trooper after 30 years in 2022 and was pursuing my flying career. Good riddance.

I texted her, “If you change your mind I would love to see you, take care.” Lol. My ex contacted me and wanted me to come pick up some items she wanted rid of. I said I would when it was convenient. Two days later she was home and I could come by. She helped me load the items and then she invited me in. We made small talk and she mentioned she knew I was seeing someone.  

I guess she heard through the grapevine. I heard it through the grapevine.

She told me she was always a day late and a dollar short.  

Well, you snooze, you lose, sweetheart.

She is the type that would never admit she made a mistake or say she wanted to get back together. 

Well, I mean, the bottom line is, most of the time, women are not going to do that. They’ll put themselves in your orbit. They’ll call you. They’ll text you, they’ll hang out with you. But they expect you to make a move. They expect you to make a date. And so if you’re in one of these situations and you actually unlike this guy, you do want to get together with your ex. And she’s not a toxic person. Like this guy, he moved on. He realized that, you know, she wasn’t going to get any better, which is good on him. He evaluated her character very bluntly, probably all of his years in law enforcement.

You know, you realize that some people belong in jail. Some people you shouldn’t be dating. That’s just a fact of life. And you have to be honest about that. But, you know, if a guy’s hearing back from a girl, she’s texting him or whatever, then just follow what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. But in this case, he doesn’t want to do that. He was willing to humor her and hear what she had to say. And I would imagine on some level it felt good because he could tell she’s wanting to see him again, and she’s now recognizing that she’s lost this guy, which really is the only thing that’s going to potentially caused this woman to change her approach and become a better person because she realizes she’s going to lose a good dude.

So you know, if he’s hanging out with the ex, he could tell she wants him. He’s got somebody else. He really likes a brand new relationship. Again, it’s very satisfying because I’m sure when he first got dumped, he was shocked. He wasn’t happy about it. But as he got into my work and started learning, he realized, oh wow, this woman did me a favor. I’m better off without her.

She seldom said she loved me and seldom would hug and kiss me. I learned through research that she is a dismissive avoidant. I never mentioned I missed her and never mentioned that I wanted to get back together. It’s my fault, I ignored all the red flags and never stood up for myself. I should have left after six weeks.

Well, hindsight’s always 20/20.

There are reasons she has never married, I was warned and decided I could fix her, Captain Save-A-Hoe to the rescue! Thanks to you, I survived a six year relationship and heartbreak. Your work is spot on.

Well, I say all the time, even if you think I’m full of shit, if you just apply what’s in this beautiful book 3% Man, you’ll see that it works and you’ll get way better results than you were getting on your own.

I work out, now I always put me and my goals and ambitions first, then my children, then my new love interest. It was difficult at times but I stayed true to myself, you, and your work. I know my ex is hurting and will not find anyone as dedicated as me.

Well, the fact that she’s lost you forever. Maybe that’ll help her change for the next guy. Because if you get back together with somebody like this, she learns that she can get away with all of her fuckery. You know? It’s just like I saw a video that was on Twitter. A couple girls were just blatantly, you know, stealing stuff in California after that new was it proposition 26, I think had just gotten passed. And, you know, they remember the way things were. That if, “Hey, as long as you’re still in under 900 bucks, nothing will happen to you.” Well, not only did they get chased down, they got arrested and they got prosecuted for committing felonies.

And they were shocked. They were in the back of the squad car going, I can’t believe that’s a felony. Wow. The laws changed, so they ignored reality, but they couldn’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. Now the police can put these jerkoffs in jail where they belong. And that’s the only thing that will make them correct their behavior. Just like a woman like this, who’s just been terrible to you, will learn that eventually she will lose the guy. She loses him. It’s the only thing, potentially, that will make her correct her behavior.

I have never quit anything in my life. I was in the Marine Corps too.  I still love her but have no desire to be in a romantic relationship with her or be her friend.

Good for you, Dude. You’re seeing reality as it is instead of always seeing it better than it was. So here’s where he talks about his new love interest.

My new love interest is eleven years younger than me (59/48, and six years younger than her (my ex was 54.)

So the ex that was toxic was 54. The new girl he’s with is six years younger. It’s almost like you got a woman at the same age that the previous one was when you guys started out.

Prettier, better body, and she says she loves me and misses me when I am away.  I have read your book twice and continue to apply the information into my daily life.  My stress level is near zero and I have removed some toxic people from my life.  My new love interest asked to be exclusive after several months and does 90% of the contacting.  

Well, this is the way it’s supposed to be. Women do this innately and naturally, and if you have a healthy woman, makes it pretty easy and effortless.

She invites me over and invites herself to my place.  We have many things in common, we hunt together, ride the motorcycle, and fly the plane together.  We live about 70 miles apart.  We are both financially stable, her house is new, paid for and really nice.

It’s nice to be dating somebody that’s a good teammate and a good equal, and doesn’t need you for money or anything. She’s already well established on her own, and responsible and not a Froot Loop.

Her son is 21 and lives near her,  My oldest is 24, lives near Kansas City, my middle son is 21 and lives nearby.  My youngest is 19, a freshman in college, lives at home, does online classes, and works full time.  I live on a 160 acre farm in SW Missouri, complete with three runways, an airplane, and a hanger.  

Damn. Nice job, Dude. Law enforcement pays well. You get a nice pension.

We have no plans to marry or live together.  Things are awesome.

Thank you Corey, keep up the good work.

Bob

P.S. Tell Captain Fix-A-Hoe to retire, they are not worth the headaches.

Well, as The Book says, you want to have easy and effortless relationships because life is difficult enough. And after six years of dealing with what kind of sounds like a nightmare with his ex, to go to what he’s got now with another woman who’s family oriented, kids are you know, they’re both pretty much empty nesters. Even though his youngest is at home, the world is his oyster, and he’s having a good time. Stress free. 100, 160 acres? I think that’s just awesome. So congratulations on your success, Dude.

Thanks for sharing your email. I know it will help and inspire other guys that are not as far along in their recovery. But, when you think about it, you broke up with this girl in early 2024, so it took maybe ten months to completely turn your life around, which is pretty quick. So if he can do it, anybody else that’s suffering and is not far down the line to recovery as this guy is. It’s literally in a matter of months if you read and you apply The Book, you will do better. Better will come.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.