How To Romance & Seduce Her Instead Of Turning Her Off

How to romance & seduce her instead of talking her out of it.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a cherry-picker. He seems to watch videos but hasn’t read the book. He had a recent date with a woman who had low interest. However, at the beginning of the date things were going well, but then he totally fumbled the football and talked her out of liking him due to no logistics planning and not knowing the process in the book. I point out what he should have done differently.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So this particular email is from a viewer who looks like a cherry picker, as I don’t think he’s read the book. So it seems like he’s watching videos because he kind of seems to think his case is like, somehow unique. But when he shares what actually happened with this girl’s interactions, who quite frankly, starts out, she’s got pretty low interest to begin with. But he gets her out on a date. And it seems like at least in the beginning of the date, she’s in a different headspace. That’s why I talk about in the book, if you call a girl twice once you get her number, try setting dates, and maybe the first time you just don’t get an answer and you think, “you know what? I’ll wait a week or two. I’ll try one more time and see if she’s in a different headspace.” And sometimes she is. Sometimes it works out like that. You’ve just got to take women through the process that’s in the book. So he ends up getting out of the date. The date goes well, but he clearly didn’t plan for any logistics or what came after the first date. Because it looked like she was really into him. And then they end up going for a walk because again, he’s not really leading the date, doesn’t have anything set up, and then clearly bores her and he misses the moment. And then the date kind of ends. And he says some things, and as I read them, you’re going to be like, “bro, why would you say that?”

So this is what happens when you don’t read the book and your game is, quite frankly, kind of sloppy. But it is a good email to learn from because we can point out where he went wrong. And he and everybody watching can learn from it and get better. The idea is you’re just trying to get better numbers, you’re trying to convert better. But women that have low interest, mediocre interests are going to be a little harder. And so your margin for error is going to be less. And again, sometimes the girls in a different head space, she might not even be that into you, but you just happen to catch her on a day where she’s lonely or she’s ovulating and she’s horny and things go better then maybe the first time you talk to her or saw her. So those things are going to happen. Again, once you know you guys have got enough experience, you know what I’m talking about. The idea is we’re trying to clean up all the unattractive behavior and do more things right than wrong.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

Got a weird one for you that I haven’t seen in any of your videos cover.

Well, you should take me seriously when I say read the book 10 to 15 times so you can learn the baseline fundamentals. Because you’ve made a lot of mistakes here that you should have made if you’d have been a better student and not been a cherry picker. But all I can do is suggest, if you want to do it the hard way and blow opportunities, that’s that’s on you.

Me, a 34-year-old male, matched with a 26-year-old girl on Hinge. We sent a couple messages, then she ghosted.

So that’s what I’m talking about. Under normal circumstances, you just move on. But you’re dealing with online dating you’ve got to remember, there’s just tons, thousands of guys throwing their dicks at girls on the dating apps. Because it’s like 80% dudes and like 20% women on the dating apps. There’s so much competition. And so when you first start talking to girls, she might have a guy she really thinks is going to progress. Then she’s blowing you off and then he blows her off. And a few days later or a week later, you’re talking to her, and now her attitude is completely changed. That’s why I talk about her being in a different headspace, because you never know. It changes like the weather.

I sent her a voice message a few days later that made her laugh and restarted the conversation. She told me she recently had a few bad dates.

You see what I mean? She’s blowing him off. Thinks that Chad Thundercock is going to go better and than it doesn’t. And then now he reappears.

I ended up scheduling a definite date; on the day of the date, she texted me back to see if it was still on (a good sign).

So as the book says, you should have three places to go, especially if you’re doing online dating because you haven’t met. You didn’t meet at a friend’s party or social function where you’ve had several hours talking and interacting and hanging out and getting to know each other. And when those kinds of things. Or maybe you met somebody through work or whatever. In those cases, you’re going to get the number. You’re going to go pick them up and go on a normal date. But when you’re doing online dating, you’re just going to typically meet them at a place to have some drinks first. Maybe a wine bar or something like that. Or in this case, this guy went to a bar. Maybe it was like a happy hour that you can go to. And if that goes well and you really seem to click and there’s good chemistry and you really enjoy hanging out with her, then I would go someplace to have some food, maybe a couple more cocktails. And then the third place should be somewhere where you can go that facilitates physical interaction. Like shooting pool, bowling, throwing darts, Topgolf, something like that. Something where it creates the conditions where she has a reason to touch you, especially if you’re doing golf or shooting pool or throwing darts. You can show her how to throw things. Like especially with the golf club, you’ve got your arms around her. You’re just showing her how to swing the club because most girls don’t know how to do that.

So it helps break the touch barrier in the context of, “well, I’m just helping you, showing you how to.” And then you see if she likes it, if she touches you back, you start making out and then it’s, “hey, let’s get out of here and go back to my place and open a bottle of wine.” And that’s what’s called a trial close from the book. We’re trying to see if she ready to go back and get busy, or do you need to spend some more time hanging out. And so as you’ll see, he thinks she’s ready to go and he just goes right for, “hey, let’s go back to my place.” And she says, “not yet.” And then he’s like, he’s like, “oh, what do I do?” Doesn’t compute, does not compute, does not compute. You know, he just kind of spins around in a circle instead of seeing, she’s like, she says, “no, I’m not ready yet.” And he’s like, “oh, there’s a cool place down the street. Let’s go have a drink there.” You’ve got to know what you’re doing. You’ve got to be direct, decisive, get to the point, and be a leader. Not just stand around and go, “oh, what do you want to do?” Because you’ll see, it just, her interest goes, falls off a cliff because he just wasn’t prepared. Because again, he’s trying to cherry pick and be lazy. And even though I pretty much in most videos, I’m telling guys not to do it, guys are still going to do it. Most people major in minor things. And so it’s not until they screw up a bunch of interactions that they’re going to go, “you know, maybe I should listen to Corey a little better.” Because when you get a girl and you have progress like this and then you blow it, then that’s now you’re in pain.

People do more to avoid pain than they do to gain pleasure. So when they’re experiencing pain, then they’re more open to say, “you know, I really am going to take the time to read the book because that girl was hot and I don’t want to lose another one like that.” So that’s sometimes that’s what it takes. You just haven’t experienced enough pain and rejection yet to take this seriously, because every guy is just looking for the half ass. He’s like “oh, I just watched a few videos. I’ve got some time for that. I don’t have time to read a book. I’m busy.” But when you get burned or you get rejected and you’re like, “what’s the name of that book?” So obviously she texted him to see if they’re still on. So again, that’s a good sign.

So we met at a bar, sat down next to each other, and immediately I could tell she was into me.

Remember she said she had a couple bad dates. That’s why I like in this case she just left him hanging. He probably really liked her. So he’s like, “you know what? I’ll just take one more shot at it. See if she responds. If she doesn’t, who cares? I delete the match and move on.” I mean, it is online dating. It’s just a prospecting tool.

She got good eye contact, her body turned towards me, and she was fidgeting and having some nervous ticks. The conversation was good, humorous, we got to know each other a bit for maybe 30 minutes and shared beer tasters (lips on the same glass). It wasn’t long before she was heavily flirting with me, staring straight into my soul, talking about how she likes it very spicy and she’s looking for an adventure.

Well again, you go out and meet and now she’s in a different headspace. If she’s making intense eye contact with you and you’re sitting next to each other, do “The Kiss Test” when you’re there. If she looks at your lips, then just kiss her and make out. And then you could do the trial close like he did, which he gets rejected, but he had nothing going after that. So this is why you need to have things planned out ahead of time. A man with a plan. This is what women like. They want to just go out and have an adventure. A guy that just knows what to do. Even if they go to a restaurant they really want to go to, and they’re like, “yeah, the waits two hours. Like yeah, fuck that. I know a great place we can go. It’s right down the street.” You’ve got to have these things figured out. You can’t just show up and look at the girl and go, “what do you want to do?” “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” Be a man. This is what they want. This is why they’re there. You penetrate them with your strength.

I even felt myself getting hard from the sexual tension. Then this is where I think I fucked up. After about 15 more minutes I asked if she wanted to get out of there.

So again, does that sound like a guy, “Hey, we should get out here and go to this place?” In other words, place number two. Hey, we should get out there and go grab a bite to eat. There’s a really cool wine bar down the street. We can have some more d’oeuvres, usually some nice music in there. It’s not too loud. We can continue our conversation. That should have happened. But again, he was a he was a lazy student.

She said yes, we asked for the bill and got out of the bar.

Notice what he’s doing is he’s asking her, “Well, what do you want to do? Do you want to get out of here?”

(At this point it had been maybe 40 minutes for the whole date).

Again, he’s got no plan beyond that.

Outside the bar, I asked if she wanted to go back to my place, she hesitated a bit and said it was too soon.

So again, that’s the kind of thing you ask her to go back to your place after your kissing and making out. So he’s not. This is where he just. His game just gets exposed. He just comes apart here.

Me as a good guy in recovery, I said okay no problem let’s keep walking.

So again, he had no plan. Again, this is like if you drive an hour to meet a girl and then things go really well, and then now you’re an hour drive back to your place. It’s like if you’re in a situation like that, maybe she can give you a Hummer on the way back. She has to keep keep things spicy and keep things going. But you can see the mood just totally goes poof because he has no plan. He just he’s like a rookie on a date. Like it’s the first time he’s taken a girl out on a date. He doesn’t know what to do.

The next thing out of her mouth was “Sooo do you live in the area?” (With hindsight I think she was still thinking about going back to my place).

Well, you could have said, “Hey, you want to go check it out? I’m right around the corner. We could pop a bottle of wine.” Again, it was just inartful the way he handled it. And when you’re asking a girl, “Hey, you want to get out of here?” You don’t say something like that. You say, “Hey, we should get out of here and go here.” Then again, she told him right up front, “I want to go on an adventure.” In other words, “I just want to follow your lead.” And so what does he do? He fucking bores her right out of liking him and sleeping with him.

So we started walking. In my mind I’m thinking I’ll find a quiet bench to sit on and kiss her, but we were in a super touristic area with a lot of people.

It’s like, come on bro, this is just sloppy.

So start walking, looking at the architecture like tourists. She says something to me and touches my shoulder, I didn’t reciprocate the touch, missed opportunity. As we keep walking the energy progressively died down without my realizing it.

Well, because you didn’t have a plan. You’re just like, “Oh, look at that. Look at that arch there. Look at the brick. Oh, there’s a window. Oh, wow.” Hopefully the roasting will have the guy go, “You know what? Coach is right? This is stupid.” It’s like whiffing you go to swing the ball and hoop, you completely miss it or an at bat and you go hoop.

At one point I asked “Hey are you okay? You seem distracted” as she was looking at her phone.

What happened was she got bored. Don’t go, “Are you OK?” On a date. All you’re doing is now you’re just communicating that you have no idea what you’re doing. You got no game, and she’s probably looking through her phone, “I want to find a guy to go on an adventure that’ll fuck me properly later. This guy doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

She said yes it’s just her mom texting her. I did not think much of it (she was taking a train the next day to go visit her family for 2 weeks so I’m just thinking she’s talking logistics with her mom).

So she’s probably texting somebody that she can get a booty call from because you just didn’t know what you were doing.

After about 20 minutes, we stopped to watch a street performer.

Just like going to watch a movie. Bahnhof, my German friends. You know what Bahnhof is.

At this point I’m still thinking it’s super on…

You can tell the energy is dissipating. You’re like, “Oh, she’s totally into me, but you’re just boring her.” I mean, she’s looking at her phone and you’re watching a street performer. There’s no conversation. There’s no touching. There’s no deeply look into each other’s eyes. You’re just a man walking around. It’s like you’re letting her lead and you waiting for her to go, “OK, I’m ready to have sex now.” That’s not how it works.

…We just need to spend a bit more time together till she’s ready to go home.

So now it’s like he’s not thinking, “Hey, I’m gonna seduce her.” He’s like, “Well, I just need to keep her busy until it’s time for her to leave.” Bro, that’s why you read the book. This is painful to read this. Especially a dude that’s your age.

At the end of the song, she suddenly said, “I’m gonna go back home.” That took me so much by surprise, I was totally confused.

It’s like I’m not. This is so obvious. You didn’t follow the book. I don’t think you even read the book. You didn’t have a plan. You didn’t have a plan beyond when you asked her if she wanted to get out of there. Again, you don’t say that, “Hey, we should get out of here and go X.” You’re the leader. You’re the guy driving the fun bus, and then you invite her to join. But instead you’re like, “Hey, can I get on your fun bus?”

She didn’t even have the decency to give me a nice fake excuse.

Well, because it really wasn’t worth it because you got totally exposed, you had no game and had no idea what you were doing. No planning for the logistics of sex, no planning for the date. I mean, if it goes well, you got to have place number two and then place number three. And then once the physical interaction and touching and kissy poo is happening, then you invite her back to your place.

It was literally a straight, cold, to my face, hard rejection.

Quite frankly, you deserved it because you sucked. Your performance was terrible and that’s why she blew you off.

How can she reject me when she was literally eye fucking me 20 minutes ago, wtf?

Uh, because you let the mood and the sexual tension dissipate instead of escalating from there. It’s like, as soon as it’s like you got exposed, it’s like that seemed to be your knowledge of what you knew and you didn’t know what to do after. So again, the book is free to read on my website. I mean, there’s a banner right at the bottom of the screen. It tells you the web address. All you gotta do is put your first name, your email address, create a password, and poof, it opens right up. Fill in your knowledge gap so these things don’t happen. This is completely avoidable and I’m sure lots of guys listening is like, bro, come on.

She said: “Where’s the metro? Oh ok so you’re going this way and I’m going that way.” As she starts to walk away.



She’s like, “Yeah, see you later.” She was totally turned off. She had zero interest at that point.

So in the moment, I remembered your lesson to “always go for the kiss.”

Uh, the girl is leaving you. She’s leaving you, dude. But at the end of the day, he goes for it.

In a last resort move, I said “Ok, but come here give me a kiss.” I took her face in my hands, looked at her straight in the eyes and said we shouldn’t do that, that would be so baaaaad right? I saw her face light up a bit, she liked that. We kissed for like 5-10 seconds or something (we were in the middle of a public place with a ton of people around).

Then she started walking away. I asked her with a confused tone “Sooo. Should I text you back? In 2 weeks?”

It’s like, oh man. Brutal. Check please.

I know I shouldn’t have asked that because it looks needy…

It just looks like you have no idea what you’re doing. Like you have no clue.

…But I was so confused, it just came out of my mouth cause my brain HAD to know what the fuck was going on.

Yeah, you talked her out of liking and sleeping with you. You didn’t have anything planned.

She said yes as she was already walking away.

Of course she’s going to say it. She said, “No, don’t call me. You suck.”

I was left completely completely. She clearly rejected me by ending the date short but she said yes to text her back.

She’s just being nice.

Normally I would just think she said that just to get rid of me, and I would take the hint.

 BUT she still KISSED ME, you can’t fake that!

Well, what’s she gonna do? Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. And at the end of the day, why didn’t you do that in the bar when you were doing googly eyes at each other? Then you should have said, “Hey, we should get out and go back to my place and open a bottle of wine.” And she might have said, “you know what? Let’s do that.”

With hindsight, I think I should’ve pulled the trigger when we got out the bar and we were both flirting hard and it was getting sexual.

Yeah.

Instead, I let the vibe die down by walking around the city and then I just missed my window of opportunity.



Yep.

So basically when I offered to go back to my place, she said no, and I respected her no (consent right?).

Well, it doesn’t mean a delay is not an outright denial. You just took it as like that. Was it again because you didn’t read the book, you didn’t know what the fuck you were doing? You look like a total amateur. I’m just being honest, bro. You. It’s much better to get a tongue lashing for me instead, unless you like going out and wasting money, taking a girl to drinks, then having her warm and you’re just like, oh, you just trip all over your dick.

Well it seems I got penalized for respecting her boundaries and not pushing on them. Later, I texted her on Hinge, “I’m so confused… why the sudden 180?” (shouldn’t have done that).

It’s like you just make yourself look weak and pathetic.

She hasn’t replied 24h later. I think there’s still a chance with her, but I won’t text her back. She will have to get back to me.



“Yes, daddy.” Dating is like tennis. But it’s like, man, you got you gotta read the book. It’s like the way your mindset is you’re thinking and presupposing the worst, and you’re talking like a guy who has no clue what he’s doing. That’s why, more than likely, she was fumbling through her phone going, “Who can I get a booty call from? This guy is an idiot. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.” And that’s why she’s like, “Yeah, see you later.” She was going to go get a booty call from somebody else. That’s probably what happened. Chad Thundercock was on standby.

One more thing, I also think something she read on her phone earlier could’ve distracted her.



No, you bought her out of kissing and sleeping with you.

Anyway, Coach, what do you think?

Bob

You totally dropped the ball, dude. I mean, it’s good that you had follow up, and because most of the time you just blow those girls off when they stop responding. But you thought, you know what? I’ll give it one more chance. See if she responds. You came up with something humorous. She laughed at it, and you got a date out of it. And then on the date, she was open to being seduced, and you just look like it was the first date you ever went out on in your life, and you were waiting for her to tell you what to do. So that’s they’re not going to sleep with you like that. What more than likely happened with her texting was texting other guys and doing it in front of you because at that point, she didn’t respect you because you didn’t know what the hell you were doing. And then she just went and got her pelvis beat up by somebody that knew what they were doing. So you got to do better, dude. The book is free to read on the website and instead you want to half ass it and be lazy and cherry-pick. And I mean, you did all the work to meet this girl, and then you get on a date and you just fucking. Face plant. It’s like crash and burn on the runway.

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