How To Tactfully Mix Business With Pleasure If You’re Unsure Of Her Interest

How to tactfully mix business with pleasure if you’re unsure of her interest in you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who recently met a woman who he’s subleasing an artist studio from for a month to complete an art project. She started showing signs of romantic interest, but won’t set a date. She hasn’t asked for money for the studio and seems to want him to come by to visit in a way that seems to suggest she’s open to a booty call.

He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So this particular email is from a guy where it’s like if you live long enough and you’re single long enough, you’re going to encounter situations like this.

So this particular guy, I guess he’s an artist, maybe. He was looking at leasing an artist’s studio for like a month to complete an art project. So this particular woman seemed to start showing signs of romantic interest, but every time he tried to set a date, she wouldn’t set the date. He has access to the space, but she still hasn’t asked for money and she seems to suggest, “Hey, come by,” or, “Hey, I’m going to be in the studio late.” As if, “Hey, come by maybe for a booty call,” potentially, and he’s kind of dogmatically focused on trying to set a date. So he’s kind of blurring the lines a little bit with mixing the business with the pleasure.

So the right way to handle this if you’re leasing a space, is that you keep things professional unless she tries to take it otherwise. It’s just like if you’re working with a girl in the office and you think the girl is interested in you, the best thing to do is if you’re not sure is to go to like a group happy hour or something like that after everybody gets off work and go hang out together and see what happens. If a girl likes you, women help you when they like you. What do they do? They come over and they sit next to you. If you’re in the gym, they typically come sit in front of you on a piece of equipment and hope that you figure out what to do and you invite them out on a date. Women will make it obvious. They’ll play with their hair, they’ll touch your arm, they’ll get extra close until they’re actually even bumping into you.

So let’s go through his email and see what’s going on here.

Viewer Email:

Hello Coach Corey,

I recently met a woman when I was looking to rent some painting studio for a couple of days to do a project, and experience a situation where a woman/owner, pretty cute actually, tells me she is single, but hard working, and not even having time for family and close friends but even less for meeting potential partners.

Yeah, you got to kind of be like Sherlock Holmes. You can’t just lock in on one thing and say, “Ah, she definitely likes me.” You meet a girl and she’s going out of her way to tell you how she’s single and has a hard time dating, usually that’s an indication that she’s interested. Just like when she says, “Oh, that color looks really good. I really like that shirt you’re wearing,” it’s another way of a woman saying, “Hey, I like your physical appearance.”

Just like in the book, one of the techniques is when you meet somebody, you ask her for her name and she tells you, and then you say, “Well, it’s nice to meet you, so-and-so,” without volunteering your name to see if she’ll ask yours. A woman that doesn’t care is not going to want to know your name, not going to give a shit, but a woman who does, will ask you and she’ll ask you personal questions. So all these little tidbits or indicators of interest are what you’re going to use, and once you see enough of them and then it looks pretty obvious, if she’s interested, you can shoot your shot.

She exposes her beautiful parts of her body, long legs, and tells me she is some days working late in her studio, and of course, I can be there, do my stuff and ask for her help if I need (For me, this notice was feeling like flirting actually right there, not some info disclaimer).

Well, the best thing to do is spend time with her, spend time around her. If you’re renting this thing, the studio space to paint, well then go and paint. If you know she’s working late and she’s saying, “Hey, come by. I’m working late,” well you can work on your thing, she can work on hers, and maybe she comes by to see you. Maybe you got some drinks with you. Maybe you bring a little cooler or something. “Hey, you want a beer? Hey, you want a glass of wine?” If you don’t drink, “Hey, how about some coffee? How about an espresso?” Maybe bring a little coffee machine with you or something.

So it’s like she seems to be saying, “Hey, I’m single. Hey, come by after hours when nobody’s around.” It’s like she’s basically saying, “Hey, spend time around me,” or “Come hang out with me.”

We exchanged messages, calls, kept telling me she is single. Buy, but single. OK… Doesn’t want to come out for dinner, but reminds me she is working late hours in her studio.

So remember, she said she doesn’t have time to date. She probably just wants some good dick with no complications. That’s it. So she’s inviting you to spend time with her, and you’re like, “I must take her out on a date. I must do something official.” Doesn’t need to be like that. You got to learn to think on your feet. These are little subtle nuances that you miss when you don’t read the book 10 to 15 times, because you probably read it enough to learn a few things, or maybe you’re just cherry-picking videos, but these little subtle nuances she’s signaling, “OK, come spend time with me,” and you’re going, “I must take her out on a date,” like a robot.

You got to be flexible. You gotta understand what a woman is communicating. A guy, an alpha, he knows what that means. You know, go work on your painting. That’s what you rented it for. So go get it done.

I did respond sexually, told her for me it is not only about sex, but I am afraid not to fall in love with her and not be able to finish my work.

It’s like, you said that to her? Come on, dude! Yeah, it doesn’t look like you’ve been through the book at all. You’re like stepping on your dick and making a lot of stupid mistakes. It seems like again, she’s just making it obvious she’s down to hook up in the studio. If she keeps telling you that she’s single and keeps inviting you to come by, it’s like, “Hello, McFly!” Wake the fuck up, dude.

Still, we are doing back and forth, ping pong. I did not yet pay for her studio, she did not come out to have dinner with me.

So what happens is I’ve seen guys do this where they start interacting with somebody business wise, and then you just blur those fucking lines. The overall theme that you need to keep in mind when you’re in a situation like this and you’re not 100% sure of the interest, is just being around her and see what she does.

Again, women help you when they like you. If you’re there, I mean, you’ve tried to take her out to dinner, but she won’t go to dinner with you, but she’s inviting you to hang out at the studio. So hang out at the studio, focus on your artwork, and I’m sure she’ll come up with a reason to come by your studio and see what you’re up to or check out your work. Then you can stop and you can shoot the shit and hang out. “Hey, why don’t we go grab a glass of wine down the street?” Or, “Hey, let’s go grab some food and then go eat,” or if she comes over and she’s bumping into you, she’s real close to you and it’s late at night, maybe you had a drink or two or whatever with her in the studio, you could do the kiss test. She looks at your lips when you’re doing that. Then you kiss her and then you can seduce her in the studio.

It’s a real simple, easy thing to do, but when you don’t take the time to read the book and you’re just a lazy cherry-picker trying to find the right line from one of my thousands of videos, again, all these videos are based on the premise that you know the basics in the book, but you haven’t learned the basics in the book, and it looks like she’s giving you obvious signs. We can’t be 100% sure, but you’re trying to be a robot and take her out to dinner and date and court her officially, and it looks like she’s just already down to bang.

So make it easy. Don’t be Mr. “Well it’s not about sex for me. I want a relationship.” It’s like, give me a break, dude. “Oh, I don’t want to fall in love. I might get hurt. Not finish my work project.” It’s like, you don’t say shit like that to women. It makes you look like a bitch. If you act like a bitch, women will treat you like a bitch. You gotta participate in your own rescue, dude. Nobody’s coming to save you, and your game kind of sucks. It’s like you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. You’re just throwing darts in a blizzard and hope it works out for you.

For me, right here, I am a bit stuck in my head. Does she want me to pay for a month in the studio to have an adventure or is she using sexual fantasy to sell me a month of subscription in her studio? 

What is your view on all this scene here?

Bob

Well, at the end of the day, you contacted her because you wanted to rent a studio and now you’re going, “Oh, she’s just trying to sell me on the studio.” It’s like, you’re sabotaging this. You’re totally sabotaging this, it looks like, on purpose. So you’re doubting yourself so much, you’re putting roadblocks when it looks like this is an easy seduction. Almost like the girl serving herself up on a silver platter for you, but you can’t get out of your own way because you don’t know what to do and you’re second guessing yourself.

So if you’re going to rent the studio, rent the fucking studio, and go in there, paint your project and then see what happens. This is so easy. It’s like, you ever played T-ball as a kid? Like, the ball’s right there. All you gotta do is hit it. It’s on the T. She set it up on a silver platter for you, and you’re trying to talk her and yourself out of it. Come on, man! You can do better than that! Take this seriously. Read the book. It’s free in the Members Area.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.