When I was younger, I was constantly becoming friends with women I wanted to date. I hid my true intentions and feelings because I believed the myth that by being friends first, eventually the woman I wanted would fall for me. When I could no longer hold my feelings in, usually the friendship ended shortly thereafter. My friendship to these women had been a fraud. I really wasn’t interested in being their friend, I simply thought that was what I had to do in order to make them feel sexual attraction for me. It never worked in real life, but it always works in TV and the movies.
I never for a moment considered or contemplated the possibility that these girl friends simply had no romantic feelings for me. After all, by the time I hit my 20s, I had probably seen hundreds of movies and TV shows over the years where the guy always got the girl by being persistent. In real life this approach will give a man blue-balls and make him incredibly frustrated and lonely. I went through this process too many times with too many women and wasted too many good days of my life wanting what I could never have. When I look back knowing what I know now about women, some of these girl friends could have definitely been turned into girlfriends. What would I do differently?
I go into detail on the mindset and specific strategies you can use to turn your girl friend into your girlfriend in this post, and this post, so I’m not going to repeat all of that here. You can also download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, iPad or Mac in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by clicking here. In order to erase all doubt over whether or not you can turn your girl friend into your girlfriend, once she knows you like and want her romantically, is to back away and become scarce. Since it’s never a good idea to get hung up on one woman until she shows you through her actions that she wants you just as much, if not more than you want her, you should always keep your options open and try to date as many beautiful women who have at least 51% interest level in you or higher. Become busy doing things and interacting with women who are single and available. A man who is a catch always has options with women. Women will chase men who they perceive as being popular with women. Why? So they can catch them and have them all to themselves. Men who understand women are very rare and hard to come by. That’s why women will compete for the same guy; even with their best girlfriends. Women can be ruthless that way.
So once you’ve employed the strategies to turn your girl friend into your girlfriend and she lets you know that she still only wants to be friends, then start treating her like you would treat a woman who you have become bored with. In every relationship both people are going to get bored with their partner at times. That’s why it’s always essential to a healthy relationship that both people have friends and interests outside of the relationship. This creates the space for both people to miss each other; this helps to maintain the sexual polarity. So when you feel overwhelmed by your desires for your girl friend, you can simply back off and act bored and disinterested. If she has any romantic interest in you of at least 51% or higher, she will FEEL you backing away, and mention it or bring it up. If she doesn’t care, she will say nothing. Never call or text her unless you are responding to her phone call or text. When a woman knows that you like her and her interest level is at least 51% or higher in you, she will notice it and FEEL it; which will cause her interest level to go up and her to pursue you more. If its below 51%… game-over… you got no chance… next. Women will love you more if they have to work to get you.
The following is an e-mail from a reader. He works with the girl friend that he has fallen for. He pays no attention to the fact that she was very clear and upfront with him that she only wanted to be friends with him. He went along with that even though it’s not what he really wanted. He has totally taken himself out of circulation where he could meet a great girl who wanted him just as much as he wanted her. But instead he got hung up on a woman who he has almost no chance with. This is just one of the ways that people avoid being in relationships. They get emotionally invested in people who can not fall in love with them. Deep down they don’t believe that they deserve what they want. By wanting what they can’t have, it fulfills their limiting belief and becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Most women who you find attractive and want sexually, are not going to feel the same way. If you are focused on what you can’t have, you are not open and available for what you could have… and… deserve. When a guy is single and looking for the next great love of his life and when he meets or encounters women he likes, he needs to answer one question as quick as possible: Is she in, or is she out? If she’s out… next. Rinse… recycle… repeat. It’s a lot easier and a lot more fun to interact with women who want to you, than women who don’t. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
I like the friedship zone post you put up. I read it all. I am in that boat now with a girl I really like. She told me from the get go that we are just friends. (Hint!!!!! She told you up front, but you have ignored this because you are projecting your own sky-high level of interest onto her. You see what you want to see.) I acccepted that, but in the months to follow that statement we became closer. We never kissed or had sex just a long hug and that’s about it. (Judge a woman by what she does, not what she says. Friendship hugs only. You are ignoring reality.)
We enjoy each others company (sounds like you enjoy it more than her) till a few months ago when everyone thought we were dating and kept asking her the same question till she got tired of hearing it. (I bet you probably encouraged them hoping she could be talked into falling for you. She resented this more than likely.) So told me she needed space and the past month I have given that to her. Now she started talking to me but only at work. (Hint again. Sounds like friends only.) I don’t receive calls or texts from her anymore. (She does not feel comfortable and does not want you to continue carrying the torch for her. I see no signs in this email of her ever wanting anything more than just having a friendship with you.) I want that friendship back (Bullshit. You don’t want friendship. You want the bologna curtains.) and really want to date her and get more serious. (You forgot one thing. She has to feel the same way. Being hung up on this girl keeps you from realizing your full potential and getting a young hottie who adores older & experienced men like yourself. Screw this nonsense! This chick is a waste of your valuable emotional energy. Never try to keep someone who does not want to keep you. You should book a paid phone coaching session & let me help you get this part of your life handled once and for all. You should be partying like a rockstar on your days off with women who adore and want to be with you. Click here to book a paid phone coaching session with me personally. With my coaching, I guarantee you will get women 100 times hotter, sweeter & sexier than this chick who has no interest in you romantically. All she is doing is giving you blue-balls. Is that fun? I think not.) How do i go about this? (Don’t ask about or bring up doing anything together when you do see her at work. If she has interest in hanging out she will bring it up. How would you treat a woman you were bored with? Treat her like you are bored with her because you are ready to find someone new. Be nice, but be as scarce as possible. She will FEEL the difference. If it bothers her that you no longer pay much attention to her, she will mention it.) Please Help.. (Let me coach you. Aren’t you worth the investment in yourself? Don’t you deserve to be happy & have really awesome women loving and doting on you? Click here and book a coaching session now!)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” ~ Confucius