How To Turn Her On Instead Of Talking & Texting Her Out Of Liking You

How to attract women & turn them on instead of talking & texting them out of liking you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who’s been following my work for about five years, but only read 3% Man twice. He met a new girl he liked and she started calling, texting and wanting to see him all of the time. Then he became fearful and started over-pursuing and getting ignored. This made him pursue more. She just stopped replying.

He asks how to reset. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So I got an email from a guy who says he’s been following my work for about five years, but he only got around to reading 3% Man twice because, I don’t know, maybe he thinks he’s got a photographic memory or whatever. It’s really hard to master the book if you’re going to read it twice and several years ago. So he’s making some obvious mistakes here. He admits when he really likes a girl, like in this particular case, the other wrinkle, he’s in a wheelchair.

So he spent some time talking to this girl that he met. She approached him, they started hanging out. He let her come to him. She started calling and texting him, wanting to see him all the time. He got a little overwhelmed at first, but it looks like he kind of started fumbling the football with the texting, and then he just started texting and replying and basically looks like he’s gotten ghosted now. So he’s wondering how to reset.

It just shows this is something a lot of guys do when they don’t know any better, is they send a text, the girl doesn’t reply or she takes a long time to reply, leaves him on read. Then he texts again, he calls again, and he keeps doing it. Then he just realizes he’s just been being completely ignored. So you got to think that in terms of dating is like tennis, you hit a ball over the net and you got to wait for her to hit it back. You leave her a message, you send her a text, she’s got to text back to you or call you back. If she doesn’t, obviously, she’s not very interested. So you move on.

As Adam Carolla says, the quote that I have in the beginning of 3% Man, “When a woman likes you, the doors start opening and all you got to do basically is walk through them,” but if the door starts shutting in your face, like it did in this case, you should walk away. You don’t keep sending messages because sometimes women are just testing to see if you’re needy and you’re neurotic, or you got your act together. When you show that you’re patient enough to wait for a reply, even if it’s a few days later when you first meet, especially if her interest is low, you should probably do those things. In this case, it might have looked like he was kind of playing games with her, and so she started playing it back and showed that she was much better at it than he was.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I have been following your work for five years now and I have read the book only twice as I recall what’s inside it. 

Well, if you really knew the book that well, you’d been reading it 10 to 15 times because obviously you’re sending me an email and some of the questions in your email really are answered in the book, but you didn’t take the time to learn it because you thought you were smart enough. I’ve had this happened thousands of times over the last 20 years. Guys don’t take take me seriously when I say you gotta read it 10 to 15 times. It teaches you a different way to think, teaches a whole other mindset and a whole other set of solutions to problems that the average guy is completely bamboozled by.

Before, four years, I also wrote an email but never sent it to you, because by applying what’s inside the book it helped me to get my dream girl back, although it didn’t work out, as I was the one (now) to tell her that I’m out because she was a bit lunatic but with a good heart. 

Anyways, I’m writing to you again just to get some clarifications…

I’m 39 years old in a wheelchair with severe movement disability. I need assistance in my everyday life and I move outside with an electric wheelchair, but I have finished university with a masters degree and I am working out a lot, so my body looks kinda very well. The downside of me is that I grew up very wrongly. Can’t blame my parents because I believe that they didn’t know any better. I was very reactive, sensitive, excessive talking with bad words, impatient, and had the victim mentality. Never had a problem attracting girls, but I had a problem retaining the relationships. Realized the men’s power and the healthy dynamics through your book (Writing you those just to have my background).

After doing some self-improved work and also improving my life, (Financials, friends, hobbies,etc) for the last three years, I met (now) another girl that we vibed very good. She was the one that approached me and she was gorgeous. After talking with her for one month and by letting her initiate the conversations, she started calling me and asking to see me very often, almost daily. She even said that I’m very good at how I communicate (Thanks, Coach).

The issue for me is that I was a bit worried to let myself fall in love with her because she is only 25 years old. I was also feeling a bit overwhelmed by her messaging, calling and wanting to see me like 24/7.

So one day, while we were messaging, she asked if I wanted to go for a walk out. 
I did read the message, but I replied after two hours by saying that I wanted to see her but I was busy.

Well, if you’re sending read receipts, just something to understand. If you read somebody’s message and it tells them that you read it and then you wait two hours to reply, it can look as if you’re doing that on purpose, like you’re purposely waiting and leaving or her hanging. If a girl gets sense to that, she’s going to start doing it back to you. So just keep that in mind. It’s better to keep your read receipts off. If you’re going to check, maybe you’re really busy because the other person might take it the wrong way, especially in the beginning.

She seemed to take it well, but in the next two days she canceled on a date and she stopped reading my messages or answering my calls. I wanted to apologize for my two hours late reply from near (face-to-face). I’m the type of guy that takes accountability when I mess up (I can also say that I mess up a lot with words, especially in the past).

So back to the subject, when she didn’t read or reply to my last text and by not answering my last two calls, I just left her in peace to cool down, and indeed she called after two days (Friday) and said that she was very sick and couldn’t touch her phone.

Come on!

So at the end of the day, he stopped moving forward. Two days go by, she reaches back out and that’s what you got to do. He should have not been sending a barrage of messages, though, because when you do that, it makes you look needy and insecure. Maybe a little neurotic and kind of stalkerish. It scares women when you behave that way, so you need to not do that. You just have to be patient and assume that, “Oh well, she’s busy. She’ll get back to me when she can. No big deal.” You should be unperturbed. At least things should not bother you or cause you to lose your cool.

I was cool with her telling “white” lies just to fix the issue and told her that everything is fine and I also apologized for my past wrong behavior. I also felt that she was very focused on my words when I was apologizing. We chatted for like 10 minutes and then we hang up out without setting a date.

Well, that’s on you. You should have set a date when she reached out.

The next day (Saturday) she didn’t contact me. The next day (Sunday), I thought she wouldn’t contact me again and I set up a date to meet a friend of mine that she is a girl. This girl is just a friend. But the moment I was getting out of the door she called and wanted to see me. I lied to her by saying I will go out with my guys. I asked when she is free next, and she said tomorrow (Monday). I said, “Cool! I will check my program later when I’ll be back home and message you to set up the date officially.” I don’t know if she saw me out as we live in a small city.

When I returned home after eight hours, I messaged her, “I’m good for tomorrow. What time do you prefer?”

He should be saying, “Hey, what time are you available?”

But she didn’t read it again. Then I said to myself, “Here we go again.” So I messaged her the next morning (Monday)…

You shouldn’t have done that. You should have just let her be.

“…Hey, I will meet you at the place we said (At the phone call) at this time.”

So this is where you’re getting a little like, “Oh my God. Oh no, I’m going to get ghosted. Let me try to force things.” That looks bad. Don’t do that. You gotta just wait for her to get back to you. Especially if she pretends she saw you out with another girl, you shouldn’t be freaking out about it.

She then called me and said, “Today I’m finishing work late (That was true). Let’s meet Wednesday that I will have more free time.” I said, “Sure.”

Wednesday morning, I sent her a message (Shouldn’t have done this) and asked if everything is fine for the date today and she didn’t reply. So I took it as no.

Yeah, you didn’t make definite plans either.

So again, this is why I tell you, you got to read the book 10 to 15 times. You’re making basic mistakes here. Like I said, I think my impression, just from her sudden change in behavior, is that she took that you were jerking her around. Especially if you’ve been talking for a month and you always reply right away, and then you read the message and wait two hours, if she took it as that you were just doing that on purpose, then that’s why she started screwing with you and jerking you around. Then when you start calling and texting like this and coming apart freaks her out, you can’t do that. Makes you seem like a weirdo and a stalker. These are the kind of guys that scare women.

I let eight days to pass and made her a phone call in which she didn’t answer.

Again, you shouldn’t be calling. Just let her be. You just keep digging a deeper hole.

Then after seven days, I sent her this message: “Hi, tomorrow at 4 p.m., I will be waiting for you at this spot (City center).” Although she didn’t reply, I went and waited for her for 30 minutes, but she didn’t come.

Eight days have passed since then and I’m not very sure on what to do. I know that she felt that I was indifferent, but on the other hand, I’m debating on her age. Things can change very fast when we are only 25.

How would you react, Coach?

Well again, I would have read the book 10 to 15 times because you would have understood the tennis analogy a little better that’s explained in the book, because you got exposed. I mean, the book is even free to read in the Members Area of my website. All you got to do is put your name, your email address, create a password, and it’ll open up right in your web browser. You can try it before you buy it, but you have been following me all these years and you still have read it twice, and you have the attitude of like you know it all, and you got exposed here. You just totally came apart. This is why reading the book 10 to 15 times helps you not make these mistakes. When you get emotionally hijacked and freaked out about these things, you’re more apt to do more things right than wrong and be calm and relaxed and wait. In this case, you did not.

I wouldn’t do anything. Again, one text, one call, and then you wait. If she never gets back, then you never speak again. It’s that simple. You got to be OK with that either way. That’s what indifference really is. If you notice early on when you stop moving forward, she did call you two days later, but then you kind of freaked out again and barraged her with texts and phone calls, and you may have chased her away for good. Or maybe in a month or two she returns. Who knows?

Also the first girl that I mentioned to you at the start happened to message me on the day that I was waiting for the 25-year-old girl. She said she wants to come and see me. She also said how bad the guys were to her, etc. So the good thing is that my dream girl appeared again and I might send you another email on this matter.

Thanks for teaching me all those things.

Bob

Well again, as long as you’ve been following me, your game should be tighter. It’s really sloppy and again, you don’t know the material, my man. Put the audio-book on two-speed and then follow along in a digital or physical copy and you can get through it in about four hours. So work smarter, not harder. Concentrate on the material. You gotta learn it because then you get further in the relationship, you’ll just make other mistakes. If you’re making simple mistakes like this, again, you got to fill in your knowledge gap and get better at this.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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