How & When To Communicate Romantic Interest

How & when to communicate romantic interest & your intentions.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer in Europe. He met a woman in Austria who is from Poland. He met up with her a few weeks later when he was in Vienna where she lives and it went well. However, he’s unsure of when to communicate his romantic interest and intentions.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a viewer who I assume is pretty new to my work. He met a woman in Austria who’s from Poland, and they ended up hanging out together. Then a few weeks later, he was in Vienna, which is where she lives. He invited her to hang out and they hung out all day, had good conversation. However, he didn’t try to make a move or to kiss her or advance anything. So now he’s like, “Well, when do I let her know my romantic intentions?”

So I assume it’s just a culture that he came from. There’s a lot of arranged marriages. He just doesn’t seem to really have any game or understanding of doing that, but he does because again, they don’t teach this stuff in high school or middle school. Most fathers don’t know this stuff to teach their kids. So it’s like, when do you move forward? When do you back off? When do you let a girl know you’re interested? When do you try to kiss? When do you not try to kiss?

So first and foremost, obviously, you need to start reading 3% Man. The book is free to read in the Members Area of my website. Just put your name, your email address, create a password at UnderstandingRelationships.com, and it’ll open up right in your web browser. So you got to learn the basics because at the end of the day, you’re supposed to lead. Women want to follow and submit. So when you go out on a date, as the book says, the date is basically an opportunity for sex to happen. To hang out, have fun while you’re hanging out, and when the signs are there that she’s ready to be touched, ready to be kissed, ready to be seduced, things like her playing with her hair, her touching your arm, her sitting next to you and her knee touching yours. Women physically will start bumping into you and touching you when they’re interested, and then you can slowly reciprocate. Obviously, there’s the kiss test that’s laid out in the book that shows you what to look for, to let you know whether or not when you’re hanging out, if it’s good to kiss her or better to wait until she’s a little more warmed up.

So there’s a process to this because it takes women time to feel safe, to feel comfortable. The idea is you take them out and you go to three different places because most guys meet a girl, go to dinner, and then that’s the end of the date, but if you start out someplace like a wine bar or something like that, and then that goes well, then you maybe go to dinner. Then after dinner should be some kind of physical activity. Miniature golf, bowling, throwing darts, something that you can interact physically with each other, playing video games, stuff like that, because then once she’s touching you and you’ve been spending three, four or five hours together over the course of an evening, she warms up and she starts touching you and bumping into you. Like the last activity that you’re going to do, that’s why you do darts, pool, video games or something like that, where you can have fun and interact. Maybe even like a Topgolf where she can touch you and then that’s her invitation or bump into you to let you know that touching is OK. Then you can slowly reciprocate in advance.

So women are given these subtle signs, and unless you learn what to look for, you just you don’t know, because if you don’t understand how they work and how they operate, they’ll be giving you signs that they’re interested, but you won’t know how to advance it. If you spend too much time hanging out with women and not taking the hints, then they’re going to give up, put you in friend-zone, and then you get stuck there.

Viewer Email:

Dear Corey Wayne,

I hope you’re doing well. I’m reaching out to get your perspective on a situation that I find both interesting, and I would really value your professional advice.

Recently, I met a Polish woman (I am from an absolutely different cultural background, Egyptian) during a casual volunteers’ meetup in Austria. We had a very engaging conversation, especially around culture, life perspectives, and religion. A couple of weeks later, I visited Vienna (where she lives), and we met again. We spent the day together at an amusement park and later went for a walk in the forest.

So if you’re something like that, you’re out walking, she’s bumping into you and you’re walking side-by-side, her hands if it starts bumping yours as your arms are swinging side-by-side, then you can just gently reach out your hand on the way back, grab it and then interlock your fingers and then hold hands. If she lets go, then you let go. That’s basically how a woman lets you know that touching is OK. She’ll start touching you or accidentally bumping into you and then you can slowly reciprocate. If you’re sitting down next to each other, maybe you’re having a drink somewhere, maybe you’re in a park bench just talking and her knee starts touching yours, you can take your hand and put it on the inside of her knee.

Again, all these things are laid out in 3% Man, so I’m not going to go into them in the video. You got to spend the time with the book to learn the baseline fundamentals, so you know what to look for, and then you’ll come off like James Bond and it’ll be like something out of a movie and she’ll experience it being something like out of a movie. Meanwhile, you’re just picking up on the cues and you’re advancing the ball, which makes it pretty easy when you know what to look for, which obviously you’re from a different culture. A lot of arranged marriages are happening. You’re just never going to date and nobody that you know typically dates. It’s just something that it’s not part of the protocol. It’s something you got to learn.

During that time, she shared a lot about her life, passions, and personal experiences. She was very open and expressive, and I mostly listened, responded, and validated her thoughts, and shared a little to what’s relevant to the conversation from my own life, though I didn’t talk as much about myself.

Which is a good thing. It allows you to remain mysterious. This way, she’s the one asking you questions about yourself. So that shows that she has mutual interests. Again, the book lays out all the things you can look for and see. That way, when you go to kiss or to touch, you’re doing it because she’s open to it and she’s giving you subtle invitations that it’s OK. If you encounter resistance, then you employ two steps forward, one step back, which again, is laid out and explained in detail in the book. Once you know that and you understand that process, it’s like the code of the matrix will become obvious to you. Then it becomes really easy.

I enjoyed the time we spent together and I’m genuinely interested in getting to know her on a deeper, potentially romantic level. However, I’m not someone who is naturally inclined toward flirting/texting and I’m unsure about the right timing and approach to express my intentions without making things awkward or rushing the situation.

Well, the way you’re talking is as if you’re supposed to say, “Hey, I like you and I want to date you.” Well, you are already been kind of on two dates. So if you’re just casual, I mean, that’s how a date starts out. You’re just casually hanging out, you’re having fun together. If there’s physical attraction and interest, there are going to be signs to look for. Her playing with her hair, exposing her neck to you, touching your arm playfully as you guys are joking around, getting close to you, bumping into you as you’re walking side-by-side, looking at your lips occasionally while you guys are talking and close. When you’re seeing signs like that, again, I go into detail and explain the kiss test, but it makes it pretty obvious. So when you see the signs are there that, especially like if she’s looking at your lips, you’re looking at hers, you go to kiss her, in that case, she’s going to kiss you back. So it takes all the guesswork out of it.

Again, you got to participate in your own rescue. You got to take the time to read the book. At the end of the day, if you think I’m full of shit, the book is free to read in the Member’s Area, so you can try before you buy. Once you see how well it works, then you can buy an audio-book, paperback, hardcover, what have you. Again, you got to fill in your knowledge gap because obvious things are happening here and you don’t know what to look for.

I often say, “If you hesitate, you’ll masturbate.” So the more you hang out with her and you keep your hands to yourself, and you don’t try to advance anything physically or romantically, when she’s giving you signs, she’s going to slide you into the “friend only” group, and then you get stuck there and you get a nice case of blue balls for your trouble.

From your experience, when would be the appropriate moment to clearly communicate romantic interest in a situation like this? knowing that it is kind of a long distance.

Best Regards,

Bob

Well, at the end of the day, you were in her town, you were on a date with her, and you didn’t try to escalate things physically. Again, if you read the book, you’d know the process. You’d know what happens. You’d know, “Wow, she’s open to being kissed.” You kiss. You start making out. That leads to heavy petting. Then you invite her to go someplace more discreet, or you invite her to your Airbnb or your apartment, your hotel, or she invites you back to her place. How do you know when to advance the ball again? You got to fill in your knowledge gap, which you clearly have a sizable one in the book. Again, it’s free to read, it’ll help you fill that in.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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