How Women Help You Succeed With Them When They Like You

How women help you to succeed with them romantically when they like you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares how he made every mistake 3% Man, says to avoid. Despite his many mistakes, his girl had high interest and kept coming back. He did many things right unknowingly before finding my work. Then she flaked on a vacation they had planned together. He stopped moving forward and after only a few days she started coming back. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne, and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “How Women Help You Succeed With Them When They Like You”.

Well, this particular email is from a viewer who recently, or at some point in the past, came across my work when he was having problems with the girl that he was dating. And it just goes to show, it’s like every guy knows some amount of the stuff, naturally, that’s in my book. Whether they learned it on their own. Or they figured it out on their own, or like in this case, you’ll see some of the things that his father taught him.

But he didn’t know everything he needed to know. But despite that, he still did enough, he did more things right than wrong, let’s put it that way. And so he was successful enough. So it shows that when a woman’s got super high interest and she likes you, she helps you and she’ll look past mistakes and unattractive things, but it’s just important that you do more things right than wrong.

And obviously the book can help you clean up the unattractive behavior so you display more of the attractive behavior. But I like it because it’s a good email, because you can just see the guy’s not perfect. I mean, he said he literally did everything wrong, according to the book, but he still did enough and acted masculine enough that it didn’t really matter.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I made almost every mistake in your book and still came out successful. My case reveals what I believe are the two most powerful principles and illustrate that if a woman likes you, she will help you. I’m 40 and non-monogamous. I’ve met and dated hundreds of women. This woman made me consider monogamy. When I met her it was like lightning striking. She was smart and funny and that combination is my quicksand.

I over-communicated interest worse than you can imagine. I even took her on a trip for date number three. I told her about four months in that I was very bored seeing other women since meeting her. But there are two things I did right. I always planned dates to a T. Specific time, specific date. And I picked her up for every date. My father taught me this. I was not aware of your material yet. 

Well, back in the day, it was kind of old school. It’s like, before online dating and you meet a girl, you’re going to go pick her up, you’re going to take her where you’re going to go. Very rarely would you be meeting them out. Now with online dating, you’re not getting introduced. You’re not meeting people through your social circle. So there’s no social proof. So you’re typically going to meet somewhere first couple times you get together. And then eventually you start going over and picking her up and riding together and those kinds of things.

But the fact that you’ve got to plan, all the women has to do is show up and look hot, makes things easy, and plus it’s masculine. Women like a guy that takes charge. They can do dinner reservations, come up with a place to go. Invite her to join them. He’s not going, “What do you want to do?” And she’s like, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” “I don’t know. What do you want to do? I just want to take you someplace where you want to be and you enjoy it.” Instead, he’s like, “Hey, how about we do this. I’ll pick you up at seven. Great.”

The next thing I did may have been the most powerful. Whenever she pulled back I never chased. Not even once. She pulled back more times than I can count.

Well, women are like cats. If you do unattractive things, you should expect a pullback. And when she pulls back, you recognize that what you did was unattractive and you do nothing. You’re totally indifferent. You just let her be. And within a few days or a few hours she’ll be back.

Again, I did not know about your material yet, but I generally feel a man should remain stoic and nonreactive in the face of turmoil. 

Well, masculinity is calm, feminine energy is chaos. And you are absolutely right about that. So you acted masculine, you acted calm. Even though she was indecisive, even though she was backing away. It didn’t affect your behavior or how you were showing up. That’s the important thing. So whether you realize it or not, you acted like how a man is supposed to act.

My father did not teach me this directly. He is a very angry man and I never wanted my emotions to control my actions the way his did. 

So he exercises self control. That’s part of being calm. Even when you want to explode inside or jump out of your skin, you react calmly. Like in his case, he had motivation. He had a powerful story that he created, which is basically, “I don’t want to be like my dad. I don’t want to lose my shit like my dad. I want to be composed. Even if I want to tear somebody’s head off. I want to be calm.” That makes women feel safe. It makes kids feel safe. It makes animals feel safe. If you’re an angry, Jack-In-The-Box and you’re freaking out, women aren’t going to feel safe and the kids are going to stay away from you. And same thing with pets.

The final time she pulled back, about a year into dating, she flaked on a staycation I planned and had already paid for.

Well, that’s not good.

She said she was exhausted, apologized, and texted “I love you” for the very first time but did not answer my phone call. I communicated over text that I was upset that I prepaid, but told her to take care of herself and have a good week.

Yeah, so if that happens, you’re going to stop moving forward. You’re not going to call, you’re not going to text. Ideally, not even bring up getting together again because that is the ultimate sign of disrespect. She wasted your time and she wasted your money. Even though he goes on the staycation as he says.

I enjoyed the staycation alone and was social with others at the venue. I was prepared to go weeks or months or the rest of my life without seeing her again. 

Yeah, because that was rude. And Doc Love’s rule was, “One chance, per girl per lifetime.” If she cancels something like that, she’s donesies. That was his attitude. There was no wiggle room in there. You’re either in or you’re out. Because if she does that to you once, she’ll do it again. But admittedly, he made lots of mistakes at the time. He didn’t realize he was making them.

Instead she came back in two days and told me she was going through some things. I said I understand and take care of yourself. Days later she reached out again with a silly video wearing something revealing.

So what’s changed in his behavior is before he was always trying to get together. As he said, he over communicated his interest. And when somebody disrespects you like this and she continues reaching out, he doesn’t bring up getting together. What you’re supposed to do, according to the book, is if you’re in this situation, you’re never going to ask her to get together again unless she brings it up first.

Just because you made plans, you spent money, she blew you off. And quite frankly, even though she said she was sorry, she still wasted your money, and still went back on plans that that cost you time and money. And that’s not okay. Because whatever you tolerate, you invite more of. And for him to start asking around, even though she’s reaching out at this point is basically saying, “Hey, you can do that to me anytime you want.”

I responded only to the humor of the video. I did not comment on her body or take the video as an invitation for sex.

So she’s trying to entice him with her body and her looks.

Days later she reached out again with a silly video wearing something revealing.

So he didn’t do anything about it because she’s clearly trying to entice him, but he’s not taking the bait, because again, she fucking blew him off. So why would you want to reward that behavior?

She reached out again one day later. By this time I was aware of your material. I invited her over for dinner. She jumped at the opportunity.

Yeah, because at that point your behavior had changed. Whereas in the past you were always happy to just set the next date and get together. Here she realized she’s reaching out multiple days in a row after she totally disrespected you, and you’re not trying to do anything with her. She tries to entice you with her body, because, I mean, women, they get it. They understand. It’s pretty easy to get a guy turned on. Show a little skin. Show a little camel toe. Whatever. Show a little under boob, side boob, cleavage. Some nudes, naked pics; and things will change. But in this case, he didn’t do anything. He was totally indifferent to it.

When she arrived her demeanor was the sweetest and most submissive I’ve ever seen her.

Yeah, because in some level, in her mind she was thinking, “Uh oh, does he not want to see me anymore? Did I really piss him off? Has he lost interest? Is it over? That’s unlike him. Usually, as soon as I call him, he wants to see me. And now I’ve called him multiple times. I even sent him some nudes, and he was totally indifferent to it. Did he meet somebody else?” Remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. And so now he stopped moving forward, and he’s kind of letting her twist in the wind a little bit.

And she started to become fearful and worried that she really screwed up. And he doesn’t care anymore. He’s not going to try to get together with her. And that’s why she keeps reaching out. And then when he finally does ask her out, her attitude is completely different. As he said, “she jumped at the opportunity and her demeanor was the sweetest and most submissive it had ever been”, because she was worried about losing him.

Since then she texts me first every day, buys me things, and talks about having children with me. 

So ye who cares the least has the most leverage. And so in this case, now that he’s read my book, he’s not overly communicating his interest. Now he’s behaving like he’s more selective, and he’s not trying to jump through his butt to do anything with her. He’s letting her wonder, because, again, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. Women like you way more. You notice how her attitude changes.

She became sweeter and nicer when she started to worry that she was way more into him than he was into her, because in the past, when he’s overcommunicating interest, she knows that he’s way more into her than she is in him. And now it’s completely changed. And so therefore her attitude is better. She’s nicer. She’s sweeter. Because she’s not so confident and cocky that she has him.

It has been a while since her last flake, but I haven’t planned anything specific. We only meet for dinner at my place or hers. 

Well, as I talk about in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, as long as she comes over three dates in a row, then you can meet her out and pick her up. Like in your case, I wouldn’t be calling, I wouldn’t be texting or doing anything. I’d wait to hear from her, then make the next date and then get off the phone. Or just invite her over. If she’s texting you eight 9:00 at night, just say, “come over.” Doesn’t have to be an official date.

But you can see just a slight pullback on his part after that disrespect and the canceled trip and her attitude is completely different. Because again, now she’s not so sure that she has him. She’s a little worried a little fearful. Because, you know, all we’ve got to do is look at her actions. Her attitude has changed. She’s sweeter, she’s nicer, she’s more submissive, she’s more flexible. Which, quite frankly, is what you want anyways.

As you said, if a woman likes you, she will help you. I wonder if she wanted to see how we would get along without elaborate dates.

That’s not her thinking at all. You changed your approach, your behavior changed and she went from being cocky and full of herself and treating you like an afterthought to now you’re a priority because now she’s a little worried about losing you. So that’s what she needed.

And I wonder if she wanted a reset so she could pursue me.

Again women don’t think like that. It’s just all she knew. The reason why she flaked on you is she was taking you for granted. She felt like she could walk all over you like a doormat and there were no consequences. And when you stopped moving forward, her attitude completely changed. She became a little worried and a little fearful that she’s going to be losing you. Because again, you stopped moving forward. And multiple times she reached out. Even the nudes did nothing. And then she’s going to start to wonder, “Did he meet somebody else? Is somebody else sending him nudes that he’s excited to get?” And so her attitude changes.

We are doing great. I have no interest in remaining non-monogamous. Time will tell where this goes. 

Thank you for the work you do. 

Well, like I said, just a little bit of a pullback, a little bit of leaving her hanging, letting her wonder. He didn’t ignore her or anything. He just didn’t try to make dates or get together. So he stopped moving forward and had an incredible effect on her attitude or demeanor. And now she’s talking about having kids. You see how that works? It’s kind of from a psychological perspective, you’re like, that kind of doesn’t make any sense.

But women like you more if they think they’re more into you than you are into them. So it’s super important that you keep that balance. And everything in the book is designed to give you the tools to keep her in a place where she’s happy, she’s in love, and she treats you like a king, because it’s your birthright. It’s the way it should be.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.