How Women Treat You When They Don’t Really Care About You

How to tell when a woman really cares about you and when she doesn’t.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work for about 6 months and read 3% Man, twice. He has been casually seeing a woman off and on for about a year and a half. After the last time he was in her city and they hung out, had fun and hooked up, she became cold and left him hanging several times. He will be in her city again soon and asks how to handle her slow responses and lack of interest and effort. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “How Women Treat You When They Don’t Really Care About You.”

Well, this particular email is from a viewer. He’s been following my work for about six months, and so far he’s only got around to reading 3% Man twice. So I’d have to say that’s kind of a piss poor effort. And I can tell what he’s really doing is trying to cherry pick in videos, even though I constantly tell guys not to do that.

Because again, these videos are based upon the assumption that you’ve read The Book and they’re meant to be a tool to help you implement the principles taught in The Book to your specific real world situation. But if you’re just consuming the videos, you’ll get some attainable success, but you’re going to have a hell of a time trying to sustain it. Because again, you don’t understand the baseline philosophy.

When I’m talking to guys in phone sessions, I’d say probably 80%, 85% of them did not take me seriously. When I told them that they needed to read The Book 10 to 15 times. I talked to guys that have been following me for ten years, and they still haven’t read The Book, and then they wonder why they struggle. And when I listen to the things that they’re doing, I was like, Man, this is so obvious. It’s right in The Book.

But again, they’re looking to copy and paste because people are lazy. All I’m trying to do, I constantly repeat it. I know the good students will be a good student and read The Book 10 to 15 times, and they’ll be the ones that send good success stories and don’t have these kinds of problems. But guys that don’t listen, they get on the phone, they do a phone session with me, and they’re in a state of panic because their relationship went completely sideways.

Maybe they just finally started reading The Book after many years of following me. Once their girl is about to break it off, or has broken it off, or has moved out, or has potentially moved on with another dude. And they’re in a state of panic. It’s not until they’re in a lot of pain that some of them start to actually listen. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that for this particular guy. So he’s been casually seeing a woman off and on for about a year and a half. So it’s kind of a glorified booty call.

And after the last time he was in her city, they hung out. They had fun. They hooked up. But afterwards, she kind of became cold and distant. Left him hanging several times. Left his messages on read. Taken a day or so to respond to his messages. So it’s pretty clear her interest is really low. But he’s going to be in her city again soon, and he’s wondering how he should handle her slow responses. The reality is, if a woman really likes you and she really cares, she’ll respond within a few hours of you texting her.

A woman that waits 24 hours a full day or longer to reply to you. She doesn’t really care. She just doesn’t. She’s not that into it. She may be keeping you as a backup plan because maybe her ex is in the background, or you’re just one of the guys she’s talking to, and she knows that she’s got you wrapped around her finger, whatever happens to be. But the reality is these two are like a glorified booty call. But I would have to, just after going through this guy’s email, it’s pretty clear he’s more into her, than she’s into him.

And part of the problem why he hasn’t been able to turn it around, is because he’s been following me for a full six months, and he’s barely got through The Book twice, so that tells me he’s just not taking it seriously. He’s just cherry picking the videos, probably when he has a problem or an issue, just looking to copy and paste something from a specific video, and you’re just not going to be able to sustain things. Hence why he’s sending me an email.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach!

I have been following your work for six months now and read 3% Man twice. I want to thank you for opening my eyes to how women think, and I have had a lot of success thanks to you. I have a problem now with a girl that I am in her city every weekend and we have been on and off dating casually for about a year and a half.

Well, if you’ve been dating a woman on and off for a year and a half, and she’s waiting a day or two to reply to your texts, you’re doing a lot of unattractive behavior, and her interest is low. And the fact that you’ve been following me for six months and then you’re writing me about this. You’ve been a shitty student, Dude. And so this is on you. You haven’t taken it seriously.

And sending the email in, and you’re just looking for a simple copy and paste solution so you don’t really have to lift a finger and do too much. And were these really sting is when you date a girl that you really care about and who really cares about you at first. And then you talk, text and chase her out of liking you. You chase her right out of your life.

Our situation is that I had to go to the army (mandatory conscription), work seasonally, and do my graduate degree. Thus, it was always casual between us, knowing that we wouldn’t be at the same city.

Well, if a woman is head over heels in love with you, she’ll move to the city that you live in to be with you. That’s just a fact of life. And if she’s not, it means her interest is low and you’re really just an occasional booty call. You’re probably just one of the dudes that she’s hooking up with. It’s clear you care more about her than she does about you. And again, this dynamic is discussed in The Book and you haven’t grasped it yet because you’re in the situation you’re in. You’ve been dating this girl this long, and her interest hasn’t gone up. It looks like it’s continuing to decline.

Since I am looking for work away from her city we know that this bout is also not going to last long, but we meet up about every weekend for 2 months. Below I will give you a timeline of the last few weeks to explain the problem which consists of three weeks. After hanging out at her place, week 1, having fun and hooking up, she did not text me.

Well, when you leave, you say, “Hey, call me later.” And if she doesn’t, well, she’s not that into it. And maybe the sex wasn’t that great. If the dick is good, she’ll stay in touch. And if it’s not, she won’t care.

I waited a full week, week 2, when I was in her town to ask her what’s up with a grad school decision she had been waiting on. We chatted a bit, I had the intention to meet up with her, but she did not show any indication to, although I didn’t straightforward ask her.

Well, the phone is for setting dates, not getting to know somebody. Again, this is a principle right out of The Book and you’re blatantly violating it.

After we chatted a bit, she left me on read.

She left you on read? Why? Because she don’t fucking care. She’s bored. She’s not into it. Maybe the dick wasn’t real good. You didn’t stimulate the clitoris enough. She didn’t give her happy finishes. So she’s like, “Eh. Eh.” Do you really want to spend your time with somebody that’s like, “Eh. Hey babe, I’m going to be in your city in a few days. I’d love to see you. Eh.”

The next days, week 3/ present day, she liked an Instagram story of mine and about a day after she sent me a message. She asked how things are and when I responded 15 minutes later, she responded after 13 hours.

She did that on purpose. “Oh, I got him. Oh yeah, he’s into it. He’s into me. I got him wrapped around my finger.”

Asking me if I would be coming on the weekend. I responded 5 hours later telling her that I would be and telling her about going out on Saturday. She told me she prefers Sunday, but I told her that Saturday we’d be more comfortable since she wouldn’t have to work the next day.

So she’s trying to get you to change your plans to match hers. Because again, probably because you’ve been soft and squishy and she’s been able to push you around and you acted too much like a beta male. Because again, your game really hasn’t changed since the whole time you met. Even though you’re following me for six months, you barely got through The Book twice, and she’s just clearly jerking you around. It’s amusing to her. It’s just like the cat playing with a ball of yarn. Oh, look at this. Oh, I’m kind of bored.

She waited 30 hours to tell me, “we’ll see about it”.

Which means. Nah.

I left her on read. I know I should have matched and mirrored. I realized it too late. However my question is what to do now?

Well, if she said, “We’ll see about it.” My response would have been, “Well, let me know when you figure out your schedule. Well, let me know if you can make it.” And then I wouldn’t call or text her again for any reason. The quickest way to get somebody else’s attention is to remove yours. And you’ve been dating this woman for a year and a half. And you’ve been through The Book twice, and you’re still thinking it’s a good idea to continue pursuing her.

You’re just not paying attention. You’re only focused on how you feel about her, and you’re ignoring the fact she really doesn’t give a fuck about you. It’s like you’re an afterthought. In other words, “Well, if I can’t get together with Bob, then I guess I’ll hang out with Rob.” That’s why she says, “Maybe we’ll see.” Maybe we’ll see. Maybe we’ll see. Yeah, we’ll see if I got nothing better to do. Yeah, maybe we’ll get together. And it really shows. She just doesn’t care.

I will do nothing unless she texts me first of course.

Well, that’s what I would do if I were you from this point forward. I wouldn’t call her or text her again for any reason. When a woman’s waiting 30 hours to reply, she really doesn’t give a fuck about you. You’re not important at all. That’s pretty rude. Shows she doesn’t care. So just let it be at that. If she waits 30 hours to reply.

Then if she reaches out I would even mention getting together. “Hey, how you been? What’s going on?” Send a few messages back and forth and then just say, “Hey, I gotta run. I’ll talk to you later.” And then just leave without bringing up getting together and I would be following what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. Because this girl clearly doesn’t give a shit.

But I am pondering this: if she texts me during the weekend after disrespecting my time like that should I agree?

I would tell her I’m busy. Like, “No, I’m sorry, I made other plans. I never heard back from you.” It was like, “You know, maybe next time I’m in town, we can get together. I’ll talk to you later. Keep in touch.” I would send her that.

Should I stand my ground and not be available, or will this make me seem butthurt?

Well, if you had other things going on in your life, you should be busy with somebody else. Because she clearly communicated. When a woman says, “We’ll see”, it means “No.” So she told you she wasn’t interested in seeing you. She had no enthusiasm. So why would you want to continue to keep your schedule open for her?

Because probably this is what you’ve done in the past, you keep your schedule open and then whatever her plans are, or hopefully with Chad Thunder Cock those fall through and then she hangs out with you. So if she gets in touch and says, “Oh, hey, how about Saturday?” Just say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear back from you. So I made other plans. You know, maybe next time I’m in town, you know, we can get together then, but have a great weekend.”

If she responds after the weekend?

I wouldn’t bring up getting together at all. If she’s like, “Hey, how you been?” I would be like, “Oh, I’ve been great. What’s up?” “Oh, I just want to see how you’re doing.” It’s like, “Oh, hey, I’m about to step in a meeting. Can’t talk right now. I gotta run, talk to you later. Nice hearing from you, I gotta run. Talk to you later.” How would you respond to her if you were tired of fucking her? Basically, the way she’s responding to you.

I wouldn’t bring up getting together unless she brings it up first and only agreed to make plans if she’s excited. If she gives you the “Oh, maybe we’ll see.” Then I would just make other plans and let her call you at the last minute, or text you at the last minute going, “Oh, hey, are we still on?” I was like, “Oh, I made other plans. I never heard back. You seem like you had your schedule was kind of up in the air, but hey, I’ll be back in town in a few weeks, reach out and maybe we can get together then. Have a great week.” If you’re tired of fucking her, you’d be nice. You’d be polite, but you’re not going to do anything to suggest that you want to see her.

While there is a lot of context missing, some situations speak for themselves.

I do have a backup girl but still want to know what to do in a situation like this, if not for the girl here, at least for the future.

Read the fucking Book. How about that? Take your life seriously because your game sucks. It’s kind of atrocious and it’s sloppy, and that’s on you. You’ve been following me for six months.

Thank you in advance for your response. Much love from Greece!

All the best,

Bob

Yeah, that sucks Dude. You know, The Book’s not going to help you if you don’t read it. Or you do read it a little bit and then you do the opposite because it’s pretty clear this this is why it’s been back and forth the whole year, year and a half. It’s because she wasn’t that into it. And it’s clear you gave all the power to her. You’re way more into her than she’s into you. And you’re hoping by continuing to pursue that, somehow her mind is going to change. The problem is, it’s not her idea. It’s mostly your idea.

It’s mostly you reaching out to her. And her attitude is, “Eh.” So you never try to keep somebody that doesn’t want to keep you. So if I were you, I would never bring up getting together with her again unless she brings it up first. And I certainly would never reach out to her first ever again. And one of two things will happen. She’ll either reach out and mention seeing you and then make a date.

And if she just reaches out and it’s kind of BS chit chat, I would send 2 or 3 texts back and forth and then just say, “Hey, it’s nice hearing from you. I gotta run.” Or “Hey, it’s nice hearing from you, but I’m about to step into a meeting. Have a great day. Talk to you later. TTYL.” Pretty simple. You’d be nice, you’d be polite if you were tired of fucking her. But you’re not going to do anything to arrange plans or get together. It needs to flip the other way around.

She needs to be the one that’s unsure of where she stands with you, and if it seems like you’re no longer interested. Because what if you started fucking somebody else? You’d be nice. You’d be polite, but you’re going to give all of your attention, your romantic attention to the woman who’s excited to see you and spend time with you. And so therefore, she’s going to have to speak up because you’re fading away, you’re putting no effort, and you’re not going to call, you’re not going to text.

And even if she reaches out to you, you’re not even going to bring up getting together Unless she brings it up first. And if she does, make definite date, definite time, definite place to get together. In other words, make a definite date. Don’t be chit chatting or this boring, useless, chit chat back and forth. Again, the phone is for setting dates, not trying to get to know somebody, or catch up, or any of that BS.

So it’s clear her interest is low. You’re probably just a backup plan. You’re probably one of the dudes that she’s hooking up with, and it’s like you’re the old faithful. She always knows she can have you because it seems like you’re willing to jump through your butt just to spend a little time with her. So it’s just a bad way to go, my man.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.