Hugh Hefner… Stud Or Dud?

Jan 3, 2011 by Coach Corey Wayne

iStock.com / Aneese
iStock.com / Aneese
If you’re like most people, you’ve probably wondered what things are really like inside the world of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. Is he simply just the ultimate alpha male? Or, is there something else going on? Lets face it. Every guys fantasy is being with multiple women. Since Hugh has been with thousands of women over his lifetime, are they really there because he’s such an awesome man… or, are they really there for what he can do for them?

Well, I just read an interesting article published in the UK Daily Mail where one of his former girlfriends describes that its like “living in a squalid prison” to live at the playboy mansion. OUCH!

I found it curious that during a TV interview Hugh Hefner did several years ago in which he stated something interesting about all the young beautiful women that were in his life and the reasons they were really there. He said, “I don’t ask them why they are here” and went on to say that the girls reasons for being in his life were unimportant. He gets what he wants and they get what they want.

When I look at that with my life coaching hat on, it sounds to me like deep down he knows that the majority of women in his life are there because they want to be famous, get free cosmetic surgery (which he pays for) and make it in hollywood. Not because Hugh Hefner is such an awesome stud of a man. In other words he was saying, “hey, I know I’m getting used by lots of these women, but I don’t care. I’m gettin laid and having fun.”

In the article one of Hugh’s former girlfriends/lovers said every Friday morning all his girlfriends go to his bedroom. Once he gets done picking up all the dog poop his dogs left on his bedroom carpet the night before, the girls each get their weekly $1,000 allowance in crisp $100 dollar bills (that sounds kind of like having live in high priced hookers). She said he would also tell them at that time the things he was unhappy with in their relationship. Cattiness between the girls, absence from the twice weekly sex parties in his bedroom, not putting out, etc.

Hef would pop his viagra at 12 midnight and start watching his watch to make sure they were all in his bedroom on time to ensure he could perform. All he would do is lay there with a boner and wait for each girl to mount him and go for a ride. As she put it “I wanted to see if this experienced King of Sexdom knew anything the rest of us did not,” she recalls. “But he just lay there like a dead fish. We often wondered why he did it at all. He must know deep down that it is just a show. But he is trying to live out this fantasy he has been selling to people since 1954. He wants to live up to the Playboy image he created and the expectations people have of him.” Ouch again!

All of the girls had a strict curfew and had to be back on the playboy mansion grounds by 9 pm. His staff kept strict logs of when the girls came and went. Hef would pour over the logs every morning. A girlfriend who missed going out to the clubs twice a week or came back after curfew would have her allowance withheld and sometimes used as a weapon according to his former girlfriends.

Now us regular guys who can’t offer fame, money or plastic surgery like Hef must rely on our own charm, personality and understanding of what women really want in order to get the types of women and types of relationships we’ve always wanted. We have to show up in our lives as the most successful, driven, balanced, healthy, purpose-driven, happy, positive and high achiever men we can be.

Women like men who are going places, know what they want in life and charge after it in an unstoppable fashion. If you are a plumber, go out and be the best and most successful plumber you can be. If you are an entrepreneur, go out and be the very best entrepreneur you can be. If you are a professional athlete, make every day, every practice, workout, game ,meal, game film review session, etc. your very best effort that you can.

Charge after your goals despite what the people in your life say. People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours. If you can charge after what you want and are relentless in the pursuit of making your life the way you want, women are naturally going to take notice of you and try to win you.

If you walk around like most men do, feeling lost, un-motivated, un-loved, un-lovable, working a job or career that you hate, not taking care of your body and generally feeling like a loser, women are going to see you as such. Women and people in general see you how you see yourself.

Women want a man who is going places. He may not necessarily have everything he wants in life right now, but the subtle difference that makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE, is he is charging after what he wants in life despite what others think about him and the obstacles and challenges he faces. He expects to succeed at it in the future despite his circumstances. He has unlimited enthusiasm. His life, friends and lifestyle are all centered around the expectations that his life is slowly becoming and coalescing into what he’s always dreamed. He’s optimistic, positive and has high expectations for himself. He also has faith in his mission. Here’s a good analogy:

“Two farmers desperately needed rain and prayed for it. However, only one actually prepared the fields as if it were going to rain. Which one do you think was prepared when the rain came? God will provide the rain when God is ready.” – From the movie “Facing the Giants”

In order to be successful at anything in life, you must first decide what it is that you want and then resolve to pay the price to get it. No matter how long it takes. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The first step is to decide. The second step is to take action towards it attainment. You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start… in order to BECOME GREAT.

“Every day is an opportunity to make your life the way you want it to be. Anything is possible when you work toward it, one day at a time. Skip a day, and you lose momentum. Try to do it all at once, and you burn out. Steadily, consistently work, making every day count, and you will reach your goals. Today is a chance to grow – to do a little bit more than you did yesterday, a little bit better, a little bit more effectively. Anyone can do a little more, learn a little more, and grow a little more each day. Soon, with consistent effort, those “little bits” add up to major accomplishments. Is there something you want to change? Today is the day to start changing it. Is there a new customer you want to land? Today is the day to start making it happen. Do you need to lose weight? Today is the day to start doing it. Not next Monday or next month – today. You deserve to reach your goals as soon as possible. Control today and you control your life.” – Ralph Marston

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“You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.”- Oprah Winfrey

Published on January 3, 2011

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Dear Coach Corey,
    My name is Melanie. I’m a 33 y/o successful and attractive (at least I think so :p) Asian female who’s been actively dating again in the past two months. It’s mostly via Match.com.
    No, I have not read your book, so please don’t bust my balls like you do to those guys (I find it hilarious though when you do that).

    I have been following and listening to you for hours everyday in the past one week (at work, at home, in the shower, etc). All your advise totally makes sense and has helped me tremendously with my life and dating. One particular thing that really touched me is when you spoke about how ‘not touchy and cold fish’ your parents and uncles are. Growing up in my traditional Chinese family in Indonesia, I can relate to it 100% and grow up to be very insecure and fucked up.

    I’ve been so much better with my confidence now. I get that from my career, active healthy lifestyle and good looking genetics running through my blood.

    The problem I had with my ex-husband and past boyfriends is that they are mostly losers (don’t have good jobs) and not true Alpha males (they fake it). Overtime I began to lose interest and couldn’t see them as men anymore.

    My question is how do I find a man like you in real life? A man that’s truly Alpha. A man that is successful and passionate in his career but also open for a serious relationship and would put me in my place when needed. Also, I find you attractive 🙂 (I’m not sure if it is appropriate to say this).

    Thanks,
    Melanie

    P.S. I checked my grammar and spelling cos I’m scarred of you …. lololololol

Leave a Reply to Melani Cancel reply

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