How to properly take a step back, turn things around for the better and save your relationship from a breakup if you are almost on the verge of getting dumped.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a thirty-five year old viewer who shares his success story about his current relationship, where he details how not following my instructions to read the book 10-15 times caused him to almost get dumped by his current girlfriend. He originally found my work about two years ago after a bad breakup. He said he was a needy, insecure begging bitch and was a total mess back then. He dated ten times more women after finding my work than he ever had in his whole life. This gave him a lot of experience in a relatively short period of time.
Then he met his current girlfriend. He got really complacent and full of himself after a few months of initial success. He details what he did wrong and what he did to turn things around, once he realized he was on the verge of getting dumped by his current girlfriend. He shares what he did and said to get her to fall back in love again and get his relationship back on track. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I just wanted to share my success story with you. My name is Bob, I’m from Costa Rica and have been following your work for about 2 years. I’m a 35-year old engineer, successful in social life and with women who like sports, like soccer and surfing, and love to stay in shape and work out. (From this perspective it sounds like you have your mission, your purpose and you know who you are, where you’re going, what you want and why you want it. That’s a big part of getting your life handled ahead of time. If you don’t know what your purpose and mission is, it’s hard to get excited about your life, because you’re going to feel like you’re kind of adrift. If you’ve got that part of your life handled, you’re doing great. Things will be easier for people who already have their purpose in order, versus guys who don’t know what they want to do with their lives, and on top of that, are not very good with women. But everybody is at a different place. You’ve got to start somewhere. Nobody starts out as an expert. Everybody starts out as a novice, and the only way you get better is by taking action.)I started like everybody else. I found your work after a bad break up and realized I was a needy, insecure, begging bitch… it was a mess. As soon as I followed your work, my approach to every aspect in life changed. I started to eat healthier, had a much better attitude towards work and my professional career, and my relationships with friends and family improved, as well as my main objective: women! Success with women sky rocketed. I dated 2-3 girls at time, from ages 18 to 32, consistently during an entire year. I probably dated 20-25 girls in a year and a half span. It was awesome. I had a great time hooking up with really gorgeous women who were chasing me in person and on social media all the time. My friends wanted me to share the secret, so I did. I directed them to your work and spread the wisdom. (I definitely appreciate the referrals.)
However, I got to the point where I found “the one,” a 29-year old girl who knocked my socks off completely. She is not the hottest I dated, but is a solid 8, strong, independent professional woman who manages her own business. (You’re going to find, as you apply the things I teach, you’re going to be dating some of the most beautiful women you’ve ever dated in your life. But just because she’s beautiful and has a great body doesn’t mean she’s great in bed, and it doesn’t mean she’s fun to be around 24/7. That’s why it’s so important to date and get multiple experiences, as opposed to looking for this one-size-fits-all kind of fantasy, where you’ve got to find one person and spend your whole entire fucking life with them. In society, they really tend to project this narrative that marriage or relationship is kind of like Survivor. In other words, you’ve just got to tough it out and suck it up for your whole life, no matter how miserable you get, so you can say, “We’ve been together forever and ever.” That will shorten your life if you live that way.) This is where things got complicated, since I got full of myself, and as you said in your videos, did not think it was important to read the book. (Yeah, because at that point, you had hooked up with 25 or 30 women over the course of the year that you had been following me, and you were getting success. But the thing was, these aren’t women you were getting involved with in a relationship. You were just hanging out, having fun and hooking up, just having casual affairs. And if those are the only kind of dating experiences you’re having, when it gets to being with somebody you really like and you want to continue to be with, you have to have those relationship skills. You’ll also find there are women out there that don’t have those skills.) The relationship started going well during the first few months, but as time passed by and feelings developed, old behavior started to arise, and even though I knew didn’t have to chase, show insecurity nor look for certainty, I did it again. (You had spent your whole life being emotionally conditioned to think and feel a certain way, and if you don’t really own the book, by reading it 10 to 15 times, to the point where it becomes instinctual, and on top of that, practice what you learn when you get backed into a corner or the shit hits the fan, what are you going to do? You’re going to fall back on what you know. And when you’re emotionally conditioned to think and feel that way, that’s why you continue to act the same way you always have, because you didn’t develop a pattern. And all the other women you dated and hooked up with, you weren’t really that into them, so it really didn’t matter whether or not they stayed in your life. But this particular girl, you really liked her, and you really wanted to be with her. Therefore, the fear of loss was a lot stronger. That’s why I put a warning in my book. If you haven’t taken the time to learn the fundamentals, that’s when the wheels come off the wagon. If you don’t become emotionally conditioned to the new way of thinking and being and showing up, when you’re in a situation with someone you really care about, there’s a 99% chance that you’re just going to go right back to the old way.) You were right. Shit gets a lot harder and serious when feelings are involved. (Remember, people will do more to avoid pain than they’ll do to gain pleasure, and if you haven’t undone that emotional programming, you can’t help but go right back to it.)
I consider this a success story, since I fucked it up for a few months and got to the point where my girlfriend was about to dump me. (That’s a really humbling experience. Nobody wants to admit they’re on the verge of fucking up something really great. Luckily, you caught yourself.) I knew it was mandatory to follow your principles, change my approach to keep this woman in my life, got humbled and understood that reading your book to reinforce all the wisdom acquired from your videos was a must. (The book is a coaching manual. It’s the baseline fundamentals. The videos are intended to supplement what you learn in the book and help you fine tune and tweak your approach.) I have been dating this girl for 10 months now, and everything has gone back to normal: her attraction level is probably a 7-8 right now, and she is doing 100% of the contacting and pursuing again. (Remember, 9 is where love starts, and if she’s only at 7 or 8, she cares about you, but she ain’t in love with you dude, so you’ve still got some work to do. If you keep doing the right thing, you will get there, but the key is, if you look at the attraction table in my book, in the chapter “It’s All In The Numbers,” the longer you’re with somebody, the more likely you’ll get lazy, get complacent and stop dating and courting them correctly. It happens slowly over time.) I recovered my confidence and control of emotions, being the mountain that I was during the first months of the relationship.
Women definitely know their shit, and I want to remark on the importance of reading the book 10 to 15 times. I got your kindle version two months ago, and I’m currently reading it for the fifth time. (Shame on you. You got what you deserved. You didn’t learn the fundamentals. The good news is you’re reading it now, and that’s the important thing.) I have taken several notes of the most important aspects, in order to manage information at hand, and I’ve watched over 300 of your videos, some of them up to 3 times. Thank you very much for all your help Coach. This is a non-stop learning process. (One of our six essential human needs is growth. If we’re not meeting that need, and we don’t feel like we’re growing in our life, our relationships, our career, our businesses, peer groups, or our overall happiness and well being, we’re going to feel like something is missing from our lives.) Even though I understand all the information pretty well, I still don´t consider myself a 3% man, but will get to that point in the near future. (It’s always better to underrate your own success and wisdom.)
“The universe brings people and circumstances into your life to help you grow, give you needed experience, skills and the strength to overcome your weaknesses and shortcomings. If you have a weakness or shortcoming you have not fully conquered or overcome, you will continue to be tested with new people and experiences, so you can fully transcend them. Success is great at growing your confidence, but failure will always be your greatest teacher and source of wisdom.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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