What you should do if your girlfriend is in way better shape because she is an endurance athlete and you’re not.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer whose girlfriend is a professional endurance athlete. He works out and takes care of himself, but she’s on a whole other level. She is in love with him and he follows what How To Be A 3% Man teaches, but when they go hiking, he simply can’t keep up and looks like a chump.
He can tell her attraction is dropping when he can’t keep up. He’s not sure what to do and is starting to doubt himself. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
Just reading this reminded me of one of my girlfriends I talked about in How To Be A 3% Man, who won the Miss Figure competition. Even to this day, she’s an absolutely incredible athlete. When we met, I was thirty-four, she was twenty-two I think, and she was just in much better shape than me. And I remember I had been slacking for a while and hadn’t been working out with weights or anything. I think I talked about this in one of the audio tracks that’s in the Members area on my website. I just remember having sex with her one time and just being absolutely gassed because we were going at it with each other. And it’s like, I couldn’t keep up, man.
I was like, damn, I need to get my ass back in the gym. I mean, we used to work out together a lot, but it’s like she just did so many more things than me and kind of left me in the dust. But we always had fun and we always laughed a lot. Even to this day, when we talk and catch up, we still do a lot of laughing and giggling. And that’s the important thing, because love is playful and fun.
The important thing is if you’re in a situation and your girlfriend is better at something than you, it’s not to get mad or butt hurt about it, but to have a good attitude and be playful and use some self-deprecating humor on yourself. There are some important things that a man is going to have to do, because you don’t want your woman losing respect for you, because if she doesn’t respect you, she won’t love you. And that’s not a good situation.
And one thing I’ve talked about with my English girlfriend, I’ve always loved to run, and I would usually run about two to three miles, four or five times a week, even back then. But she and I would go on a run together, and it’s like, man, she’d just leave me in the dust. And she was purposely having to go slower than she wanted to just because I was running at a steady pace. She could always outclass me. She could always run further, just because she’s just a physical freak. She loved to train. She’s still to this day just in unbelievable shape. But we always laughed and giggled and had fun, and that’s the important thing.
I love the channel and the book. Like a lot of your viewers, I came to your work after a divorce and 3% Man has been my bible as I’ve gotten out into the dating world. I’ve used your tips and have found an amazing woman that I love spending time with. The tips in the book worked like a charm, 3rd date was indoor Olympics and 8th date she was 10/10 interest and in love with me. You could’ve set your watch by it.
Well, I say it all the time. Even if you think I’m full of crap, if you apply what’s in “How To Be A 3% Man,” you will see that it will work for you and your life will get better. That’s why you don’t have to believe me. You’ll see the results speak for themselves.
Like in my case, I attracted a woman who, quite frankly, was better looking and in better shape. And it was funny what she said, she’s like, “All the guys that I’ve dated before you were always were big and bulky athletes.” They were gym rats, and they were in amazing shape like her, and I wasn’t. She loved me because I was masculine and I was still a man. I was still a leader, even when I wasn’t a big, giant, bulky dude like the guys that she was used to dating.
And that’s the important thing. It’s really how you feel inside about yourself, the vibe you give off and your effort. That’s the important thing, is making an effort and not giving up. Which you’ll see a second, this guy, especially when he’s trying to keep up with her, he just can’t do it. And you’re not going to fake it, because if you’re falling down in the dirt and she’s laughing at you, she’s going to know. But at least you’ve got to make the effort. That’s the important thing. If you just give up, you’re not even trying. It’s like, come on. Are you going to let a girl outclass you?
The only issue is that she’s a hard core endurance athlete and I’m not. Don’t get me wrong, I get to the gym and am active, but she’s on a totally other level. On a recent date, we went hiking and it was an absolute slog for me.
Well, you definitely should get some Salomon boots, which are great if you ever go out to the gun range as well. Those are great boots.
Meanwhile, she barely broke a sweat. By the end of the hike, I could feel her interest dropping and could feel her pulling away.
Well, yeah, if you’re going up and down the mountain or the hills or wherever it was, and you’re crying and whining about it and how hard and difficult it is, like I said, my English girlfriend, it’s like we were always laughing and giggling. And even to this day when we do talk and catch up, it’s still the same thing, laughing and giggling the whole time. Her making fun of me, and me laughing about it because it was funny. It was funny how much in better shape she was. And that’s the important thing, because if you get mad and you show that you’re perturbed by the whole thing, that’s not good.
You want to be the unperturbable man, the man that’s not bothered by the fact that your girlfriend is an endurance athlete. At the end of the day, you’re a stud and she’s with you. She chose you. Like in my case, my girlfriend chose me over all the other big and bulky dudes that she could have. And I wasn’t the type of guy that she normally dates. If you apply what’s in “How To Be A 3% Man,” you’re going to hear that a lot. And obviously, like this particular guy, he’s probably not the type of dude that she would normally date, but he acted like a man in ways that almost every other guy she came across didn’t. And that’s why she fell for him. It wasn’t because he was an endurance athlete, which obviously, he’s not.
I’m kinda struggling, because this wasn’t a mental error like texting too much, or not setting an in-person date. I just looked like a chump, physically, in front of her. I’m not sure what to do!
Well, after you go on that hike, you’re like, “That was a bitch, I was gassed. I couldn’t keep up. But you know what? I’m going to keep trying to get better, and then I’m going to catch up with your little ass and eventually overtake you.” Talk shit to her. Talk shit about how you’re going to blow by her eventually, “Yeah, it might take me a few months.” You’ve got to have fun with it.
Never going hiking with her again doesn’t seem like an option.
Yeah, because then you’re giving up, and that’s a bitch move. You don’t want to do that. You don’t want to show that you’ve been bested by the hiking. You want to have fun with it. And if she teases you about it, breaks your balls, which she probably will because she senses weakness around it, you can say, “Babe, it was just the first hike. I let you win, I let you be ahead of me. I was just humoring you. I was just looking like I was gassed.”
And she’s like, “No, you weren’t. You were totally gassed.” You’re like, “No, I think it’s your imagination. One of these days, I’m just going to blow by you when you’re all confident and sure of yourself of how much you’re dominating your man on the hiking trail, and I’m just going to blow by you and go, ‘I’ve just been punking you the whole time, babe. Try to keep up!'”
This is an activity where she gets a lot of joy and wants to share it with me. Getting to her level would be a challenge.
That’s exactly why you should do it. And she’ll love you more for it, because you’re trying to keep up, and you make it a competition and you make it fun. It’s like, “That’s okay, keep talking that smack. In a few months, I’ll be lapping your ass and you’ll be going, “Oh, Corey, you’re too far ahead. Slow down. And my feet hurt.”
Becoming an endurance athlete is not something that happens overnight. Asking her to do something easier, (a shorter or easier hike), feels like surrendering and makes me look kinda weak. Ideas?
Well, repetition is the mother of skill. As the great Aristotle said, “Excellence is not a singular act, it’s a habit. You are what you do repeatedly.” And at the end of the day, you’re a man. And quite frankly, when it comes to things like this, physically, genetically, you’re going to have better genes in the long run to do these things. So, it should be easier for you to catch up to her, versus vice versa, if you were the one that was the endurance athlete and she was not.
And so, as you make gains and you get better, you’re going to call her out. It’s like, “Babe, I’m gaining on you. I’m getting better at this. Enjoy the fact that you’re in the lead now, because in a few weeks or a few months, I’m going to be stopping and waiting for you. Keep it up. Enjoy it now. Maybe you should take some video of us with me behind, because I’m not going to be back there for long.”
Just have fun with it. Love is playful and fun, it’s not serious. And like I said, the most important thing is don’t get perturbed. Have fun with it. When she makes fun of you, laugh because it’s funny. It’s like, “Laugh it up. Just laugh it up now. Enjoy it now, because it’s not going to last forever.” Have a good time with it. Don’t take yourself or life too seriously.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge in your personal or your professional life, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“If your woman is a professional athlete, but you are not and simply cannot keep up with her, you must at least do your best to try and keep up and become a better athlete yourself. Why? Masculine energy is about purpose, drive, mission, succeeding, accomplishing, breaking through barriers and overcoming challenges. As a man, you must show up and make an effort to get better. If you just complain that you can’t and don’t try, she will lose respect for you as a man because you simply gave up and didn’t try to get better. All men should strive for excellence and improvement. Men who don’t are soft. Women don’t like soft men, because soft men don’t handle their business or make them feel safe and comfortable.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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