How to overcome any last minute resistance to your sexual advances when a woman you are trying to seduce says, “I don’t want to go all the way.”
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following what I teach for a while and getting as much practice in as he can. He admits that he’s working on becoming a better seducer, going for the kiss instead of a hug and being able to seal the deal in the bedroom. He shares a recent success story he had with a woman he met who is a manager at a restaurant that he frequents. He was really attracted to her, but he was in a relationship at the time. After he got dumped, which he takes full responsibility for, he made it his life’s mission to chat her up and get her number. After some back and forth, he had a first date with her, but only went for a hug instead of a kiss at the end of their date. He admits it was a pussy move on his part. Over the course of the next several weeks, he would try to set up a date with her, but she didn’t seem to be very flexible or willing to make time for him, so he did what he learned from my book, which was to tell her to get in touch with him when her schedule freed up. She did.
On their second date things went really well and she was obviously eager to see him even though they had not seen each other in several weeks. Her attraction level had grown for him since their first date. At the end of the evening he invited her back to his place to watch a movie together. Towards the end of the movie, he made his move. He initially encountered resistance the first time he tried to undo her pants. He describes how he used the two steps forward, one step back strategy from my book to overcome her last minute resistance. Even though she had said earlier that she did not want to go all the way, he followed the seduction protocol that I teach in my book, which lead to great sex for both of them. He shares exactly what he said and did to overcome her resistance and seduce her successfully.
I just wanted to say, you’re the man, and what you teach is invaluable! I’ve been following your work for a while and have been practicing as much as I can. I’ve been going on lots of dates and having increasing success in the bedroom, albeit fairly clumsily at times, but progress though. That’s what’s important.
I’ve been grabbing breakfast at the beginning of my shift at a restaurant fairly consistently, and noticed one of the managers was very attractive, a solid 8, but did not really pursue her since I was in a relationship at the time. As soon as that tanked, i.e. I got dumped, I made it my mission to begin to converse with her and eventually got her number. (If you have the time, strike up conversations with strangers, because it improves your social skills, and it gets you in the vibe of being friendly, open and talking to people. You never know when you’re going to meet the next great love of your life.) I texted her later that night some brief comments and went straight for setting up a date. She didn’t respond until late the next day stating she couldn’t because she completely forgot she mandatorily had to go to two store Christmas parties on her days off. I was not off to a good start. I told her that sucked, and to let me know in the future when she was available. (You’re ready to give her the gift of your time, and since you value your time, your attitude should be that you only want to spend time with her if she wants to be with you. You should just tell her to get in touch with you when her schedule frees up, unlike the average guy who thinks he has to force it by contacting her again.) She texted back saying she would, and she did not mean to come off flaky, to which I told her not to worry. (She realized you may construe this as flaky behavior. However, this may be her way to weed out the needy guys and the stalkers. If a woman likes you, she’ll be in touch.) She texted me a few days later asking to meet her at a bar with her friend, but it was midnight and I had to work, so I was unable to. (I wouldn’t have gone anyway because it’s a group date, and the friend will get in the way of you seducing her. You want to get to know her without a chaperone.) I later invited her to a large Christmas party bus outing we were having, to which she did not respond for a week. I had pretty much walked away at this point, believing she wasn’t interested. (Like I discuss in my video “Dating Is Like Tennis,” he hit the ball over the net, she didn’t hit it back, so he walked off the court.) She texted back apologizing that life was crazy and that she really did want to hang out. She tried to make a group date for New Years Eve, but I told her I wanted to hang out with just us before including friends, which she agreed to. We finally went out for drinks at a country bar, and I was teaching her how to dance. The date went great and the conversation was easy. I fucked up however, when it came to ending the date at her car by hugging her rather than going for the kiss. I know, pussy move!
I texted four days later to make another date and she said she had to visit her mom and would have to see. I said okay, and to let me know. She texted three days later telling me she came down with something and couldn’t, promising she wasn’t blowing me off. I saw it as exactly that, but said no worries, feel better. A week passed with no contact and she reached out, at which time I set up a date. We went out, and again the conversation was excellent! (Again, he’s hitting the ball over net and being infinitely patient instead of blowing up her phone, and it’s having a positive effect on her attraction level for him.) I wasn’t going to fuck this up again, and invited her back to my place for a movie. We cuddled on the couch, and towards the end, I made my move, which she was very receptive to. I took my time and when I went for her pants, at first she stopped me. I returned to doing what I was doing without skipping a beat. I later went back to her pants, and got no resistance this time. (Now she feels safe and comfortable, because you passed her test.) I was rounding the bases, and home plate was looking pretty good. I got up to lead her to the bedroom and she said, “I’m not going all the way with you tonight,” and I told her that was fine. (He is letting her know he is cool with it either way instead of losing his cool.) After I went down on her, she was going crazy. Since she told me she didn’t want to go all the way, that was in my head, and I was hoping she was just going to say go for it, but of course she didn’t. (If she says “go for it,” then she’s being the man. That means she would have to take ownership of the fact that she fucked you.) Then, like a flashback of Rocky’s trainer, your words popped in my head, “It has to be the man’s fault.” Yeah, it was weird this was going on in my head while I’m trying to fuck this girl, but hey! So with those words in my head, I went for it and had an amazing session of indoor Olympics. (Once again, this success story shows, the fundamentals in my book and in my videos work!)
I just wanted to send you a good success story, and say that it was due to what you teach. In the past, I would have definitely over pursued when she was being flaky, and totally fucked it up. Your teachings also have my ex trying to get us to hang out again. When it rains it fucking pours!
Thanks again Coach! You really have changed my life.
“When it comes to sex and seduction, sex must ultimately be the man’s fault. Women don’t want responsibility for the fact that it “just kind of happened.” Society labels men who sleep around as studs, but women who sleep around as sluts. Therefore, all women are concerned about being perceived as easy or slutty. When a man is trying to seduce a woman and she tells him no, slow down or stop, he must immediately respect and comply with her wishes in order for a seduction to occur later. Most guys tend to move too fast when trying to seduce a woman, causing her to feel unsafe and uncomfortable. Therefore, when a man encounters resistance, he should back off for about 8-10 minutes, start asking questions, and continue the conversation before he slowly resumes kissing and touching. This is called the two steps forward and one step back strategy. When done properly, each time a man takes two steps forward and then one step back when he encounters resistance and then slowly resumes his seduction, he will get closer and closer to her until he ultimately ends up inside of her. Therefore, it is often true that when a woman says no, she really means yes, but in order for this to be true, a man must always respect her wishes and comply with her asking him to back off. If he doesn’t back off when asked and tries to force things, then he becomes a rapist. That’s something to think about Gentlemen. Proceed with caution.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne