I Ended Our 1st Date After 5 Minutes Due To Her Crazy Behavior

Signs you should eject & end a date due to crazy & unusual behavior.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares a truly bizarre first date experience with a girl who he had met years earlier. She reached out to say she was single so he made a date. As soon as they sat down her crazy behavior started. She started complaining, talking about her ex boyfriend and being rude to their waitress. He shares what happened and how he got repulsed by her attitude and ended the date. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “I Ended Our 1st Date After 5 Minutes Due To Her Crazy Behavior”.

So this is interesting. If you guys have ever gone on a date, especially like if you’ve done a bunch of online dating, you text a girl, you go back and forth, maybe you chat on the phone. And then you meet in person, you sit there and within like 30 seconds or the first minute you’re like, “Oh shit, this is a bust.” And you want to sit there and you want to be polite.

And so this guy, after about five minutes of this chick carrying on and being kind of confrontational. And so this is somebody he knew, I guess he met. And it seemed like he thought he had chemistry. But she had a boyfriend time, so he didn’t think anything of it. So she reached out recently and she basically informed him that she’d been single for a few months.

So he’s like, “Oh, she must like me.” So he made a date and within five minutes all these things are happening. She’s being rude to the waitress. And he’s like, “Man, I really don’t want to sit here for the next hour and a half being polite when I already know this is just messed up.” So he dips on out and obviously that went over like a lead balloon.

She sends him a nasty email after the fact telling him how he wasted her time. And I just like it because it’s, man, I think we’ve all been there. You sit down, you think, you know, “Oh, I’ve got chemistry with this girl. It would be a great date.” And then you’re like, “Oh God, I don’t want to sit here and listen to this girl for the next two hours.” And the next hour drinking a glass of wine.

This is why, if you’re going to do online dating, maybe meeting at like a wine bar and just having a glass of wine to see if you like her, then you got one glass of wine, you’re like, “Whoa, look at the time, I gotta run” or whatever, and then you can get in and get out pretty quickly. If it goes well, then you can go to a second place and have a nice dinner.

And if that goes well, then you can go to some place, throw some darts, shoot some pool, something like that. Something that facilitates physical interaction between the two of you. And so you don’t over invest in somebody. You don’t make dinner reservations at an expensive restaurant. So anyways, let’s get into this email because I think everybody’s had a similar bad date experience. And he had the balls to break it off.

Viewer Email:

Hello Coach,

I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to run a first-date experience by you that went sideways and get your take on whether I handled it well or acted inappropriately. I met a beautiful woman at a friend’s party a couple of years ago. At the time, she had a boyfriend, so while we clicked instantly, I didn’t pursue. We exchanged Instagrams and left it at that. Recently, she reached out to let me know she’d been single for a couple of months.

See how that works? Women help you when they like you. But just because she likes you and you like her, or you’re attracted to each other, doesn’t mean you’re going to click.

With that green light, I set up a definite date. Leading up to it, she was messaging, joking, and generally giving off enthusiastic energy, which made it feel like she was the one doing the pursuing.

Well, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I mean, she was. She reached out after all those years to let you know that she was single.

Naturally, I walked into the dinner date expecting something relaxed and easy.

I say this all the time. You want a girl who’s easygoing, easy to get along with, and she’s nice to you. She’s flexible. She loves her dad. Just has a good attitude. That’s what you want. You don’t want a difficult boss girl pain in the ass.

Instead, within the first five minutes, I felt like I’d accidentally wandered into the emotional waiting room of a psych ward. From the moment she arrived, her energy was tense and closed off. When I tried to make conversation and get to know her, she gave short, guarded answers and then criticized me for asking questions, saying it felt like an interview, while making no effort to ask me anything in return. It was a conversational cul-de-sac.

I mean, literally this date didn’t last more than five minutes, so you’re going to ask 1 or 2 questions and she’s giving you short answers. It’s like, easygoing, easy to get along with, nice to you. Does this sound like a fun date?

Then came the unsolicited Greatest Hits album. She brought up her ex almost immediately and asked about my connection to him, which felt like a strange choice for minute three of a first date. She followed that up with commentary about how visiting her family felt “strange,”how her cat was fat, loud, and aggressively annoying, and how she felt pessimistic about aging.

Holy shit, what a Debbie downer. So I mean, right off the bat, if the girl doesn’t like her family, doesn’t have a good relationship, she says it’s strange hanging out with her family, visiting her family is strange. That doesn’t sound like a girl who loves her father, admires him, respects him. He doesn’t sound like he’s her rock. She sounds like she’s kind of estranged from her family.

So clearly those are some red flags that are kind of obvious. And on top of that, she sounds like she’s a glass half empty kind of person. You want a girl who’s got the attitude that the glass is half full, not half empty. But obviously she sees things in a negative light. Now, obviously, if you’re following this channel and following me, you tend to be more optimistic than pessimistic, and you tend to be a high achiever and you don’t really like low achievers.

As Nick Saban said, “Low achievers or mediocre people don’t like high achievers, and high achievers don’t like mediocre people.” So, I mean, you go on a first date within the first three minutes, she starts going on a rant about her ex, grilling you about how you know him. And then complaining about her family and her fat cat.

At that point, I started to suspect I had shown up for dinner but accidentally RSVP’d to a therapy intake session. As if on cue, she announced she was “hangry,” insisted on ordering immediately, complained that she hated our table because it was too central, and demanded the waitress to move us. All of this happened before minute five of the date.

Yeah, maybe she was on medication. She sounds kind of neurotic and nutty.

Individually, these things might have been workable. Together, they felt like a five-minute highlight reel of instability, negativity, and combativeness.

Remember? Easygoing, easy to get along with, and she’s nice to you. She’s flexible. Does this girl sound easygoing, easy to get along with? Hell no.

I recognized the familiar feeling of a past date where I stayed out of politeness and paid for it with emotional exhaustion.

Yeah, that’s the other thing. When you’re around somebody, if a good woman’s going to make you feel elated and energize you. If she’s just a drain like an energy vampire, the longer you spend with her, the more tired and worn out you get. It’s like, that’s not what you’re looking for. But I love what he does next.

I felt no chemistry, no ease, and no realistic chance that things were about to turn around. Rather than forcing myself through a 90-minute endurance test, I hit the emergency eject button. I told her that while she was beautiful, we should end the date as I felt no connection and didn’t want to pretend otherwise. She was upset and later said I wasted her time and used her.

She reached out to him almost like she was really just wanting to figure out how he knew her boyfriend or her ex-boyfriend, and maybe just trying to get intel and maybe get intel on him, and get a free meal out of it. This is again, this is totally suboptimal.

I get that, but ending it early felt more honest than sitting through dinner knowing it was already a no. So, Coach, did I misplay this, or did I make the right call by trusting my gut and leaving early? I’d really appreciate your perspective.

Best,

Bob

It was like, well again, that’s not easy going, not easy to get along with. She’s not being nice to you. She’s a Debbie Downer. She’s focusing on negative things. She obviously feels weird around her family. That’s not a good sign. And the fact she’s being rude to your waitress and demanding that you move to another table and you’ve got to eat right away. I’m hangry. Feed me, damn it. It’s like, Holy shit, how obnoxious can you be?

Maybe she was on some kind of meds or something, but that’s pretty wacky behavior, you know. I’ve never had a date where the woman was that obnoxious. Just didn’t have any chemistry, didn’t have any connection. She was boring to talk to. Didn’t have much to say. I do remember about 20 years ago, I went on a date with a girl I met at a wedding.

We talked for maybe five minutes, seemed like we clicked, and then she drove down to visit me and stayed with me for the weekend. And then we went to dinner and it’s like she just sat there. I asked her a question and she’d give me a short answer and then didn’t have much else to say. It was like I was like, “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself? It’s like you’re very quiet.” She’s like, “You’re putting pressure on me. Oh my God.”

I was like, and she was somebody that knew a friend of mine. And needless to say, I dismissed her and I sent her on her way the next day because I was like. And then she was mad that I didn’t want to come to bed and have sex with her, because I was out in my living room watching TV and she was in the bed. She’s like, “Are you coming to bed?” I was just thinking, ah, I am not gonna fuck this girl. I do not want her.

She’s totally turned me off. She was boring, not fun. And even though she was beautiful, I wasn’t going to give her the sausagefest. She just did not. She wasn’t sponge worthy. You ever saw that Seinfeld episode from the 1990s. It was pretty famous. You younger guys would be like, what? What was it called? The today sponge, I think it was. And they had, you know, it was like a sponge that a woman inserts. And so it absorbs the sperm and everything has like a spermicide in it.

And they were, you know, people were buying them left and right. And then there was a problem with it. And so they got discontinued. And so women were like hoarding what ones they could get. And so the whole premise behind the episode was, is the guy sponge worthy or not? Didn’t want to waste one of the today sponges because it was a limited supply.

It was a really funny episode, but I mean, dude, that takes a lot of balls to eject after five minutes because most of us would sit there. But when you go out on enough dates that are like this, you’re like, “I’m not wasting any time with this chick.” But she sounded like a Froot Loop and you did the right thing.

But it takes a lot of balls to do that. So good on you, dude. On to the next. Easygoing, easy to get along with and she’s got to be nice to you. And she’s got to like her dad. If you’re looking for a long term relationship she’s got to love her dad. When a girl doesn’t like her family, doesn’t like her father. Check, please.

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