What you should do if you feel stuck and trapped in a life you hate, if you currently have to work long hours for low pay and if you feel like you will never get ahead and have the kind of life and lifestyle you’ve always wanted, that is full of the kinds of friends and lovers you really deserve.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who says he hates his life. He has to work long twelve-hour workdays, six days a week just to make ends meet as a chef at a restaurant. He hates his job. His relationships continually get worse over time because he increasingly acts needy, insecure and has had a life long drug problem. He has a five-year-old child he has to raise also. He feels like the deck of cards in life is stacked against him.
He’s forty-three years old and is worried and fearful that he is running out of time. He feels he is meant for something more, but feels trapped and stuck. He asks my opinion on what he should do to finally turn his life around and attract the kind of women he really wants, so he can start living the kind of life he has always dreamed of.
I sent a donation, because what you are offering is of true value to me. (I appreciate your donation.) At this point, I couldn’t afford a session with you, so I did the best I could. I discovered your YouTube videos over the past couple of days, and this info is what I need. I am 43 years old, I am told I’m a very good-looking guy, above average intelligence, very witty and funny, and can be very charming. I’ve never been able to use any of this to get the life and woman I want. (That tells me you have people skills. No matter what line of work you’re in, you should be working with people. All of life is a negotiation. You don’t get what you deserve. You only get what you negotiate.) I’m very needy, insecure, and I spent most of my adult life with a crippling drug problem. (People who use drugs or alcohol, to the point where it’s an addiction, are using it to escape from something they don’t want to feel or something in their life that’s uncomfortable. You want to follow the 80/20 rule: 80% of the time you should live and eat healthy, and 20% of the time eat your pizza and drink your beer.) I mean, I was as bad as one can get without dying. I have been clean for eight years now, and have a five-year old son. (That’s awesome. That was your past. As Tony Robbins says, “your past does not equal the future.”) Of course, I’m with a woman I never truly wanted, and settled for, because that’s all I’ve been with since high school. Over the years, my relationships have gotten worse. I can’t help myself from acting needy, (It’s not that you can’t, you’re choosing to), and now I no longer have the balls to approach women at all. I hate my job and need to work long hours just to make living. (Look at my article and video, “How To Get Any Job You Want,” and then scroll down to the bottom of the page and click the “career” tag. There, you will find some more articles I did on the topic.) I really hate my life for the most part, but I put on a brave face and try to make the best of it because it’s all I have. I have the belief, deep down inside, that my life can be so much more in all areas, but don’t know how to turn it around. (Live like a college student. Reduce your living expenses, get roommates and live within your means. Reduce your expenses so your revenues will exceed your expenses and you have seed capital to start a business. Even if you have to live this way for 5-10 years, that’s a small price to pay to become a millionaire. Figure out what you love the most, work at that, and through time and repetition, you’ll become better at it.) I’m running out of time being 43 now. I also now have, and started reading, your book. Basically, I wanted to tell you I like your style, and you have a new fan who is going to try and use your help to make some changes in my life. (Fuck trying. Do it.)
Even before I start addressing my problems of attracting women, I realize I must find my purpose, as you say. I had a bad drug problem most my adult life, (That was eight years ago and doesn’t define who you are), I did everything wrong coming up, and ended up falling into a job in an industry I don’t like. I feel stuck and trapped. I work as a cook. Basically, a shit job at a shit wage, and I need to work 6 days a week, 12 hours a day to just make a living. (Keep the job that you’ve got, and look for a better place to work. You should always be trying to find a better job.) I’ll allow a guy like you a moment to cringe now. I have no time for friends, women, or any social fun. (Change your job and find something without so many crazy hours for shit pay.) All other jobs I look for are less money, and now at least I have job security. I’m sure almost everyone lists their attributes and over value themselves, but the true fact is, I am a very good-looking guy with a lot of wit and charm — wasted talent to the max. I have a good sense of humor and a quick mind. I spent years saying, well it’s too late. (It’s never too late.) I’m 43, and my life is what it is, but listening to you sparked the belief I have, deep down inside, that I could be and do something big with my life. (Absolutely. You’re never too old to become the person you were meant to be.)
I could go on much longer, as there’s so much more to my situation, but I don’t want bore you at this point, but it is a cry for help. I’m not sure how you can help, or if you can, but I’ve been listening to all your videos, and really like you and feel you have the answers, so I’m screaming HELP! (You must participate in your own rescue. You’ve got to take action. Watch one of my videos on discovering your purpose. The idea is to explore things that are of interest to you. The bottom line is, you’ve got to spend your time doing something. You can either spend your life being pissed off about a shitty job, or you can take action to get a better job.) My life is passing by, I hate my life and I’m here with all these attributes, but just living a dead end. If you can help me, I will consider the email coaching. I really suppress a lot of pain daily, as I’m actually tearing up now. Please consider if you can help me in some way. I’m not cheap at all. I don’t have a lot money, but don’t ever want something for nothing. I will do what I can. I will continue to donate. (Good. I appreciate your donations.)
Thanks for the book, videos, and the work you’re doing. If nothing else, you lit an almost dead spark in me to find some way to change my life. I JUST NEVER KNOW HOW, insert loud, gut, wrenching scream! (There is no such thing as a bad idea, just bad plans. Obviously, the plan that you’re employing to achieve your goals and dreams sucks. Your past does not define you. The only thing that matters is what you’re doing right now. Motivate yourself to take action, day in and day out, even when it seems hopeless.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Are you broke? Do you have big dreams? Don’t know where to start to achieve your dreams? Then start learning and developing your skills by practicing every day to become great at something you love, enjoy and that adds value to as many people’s lives as possible by providing highly valuable products or services that solve a real pain or need people commonly experience or have. Live like a broke college student to keep your bills as low as possible. Surround yourself with hungry people who are just as committed to succeeding and being at their best personally as you are. Take relentless action, learn from your mistakes and failures, and continually adapt and change your approach until someday your dreams become a reality. Mastery of anything is only possible through time and repetition.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne