What you should focus on if you have several serious life issues you are struggling with in your career, finances, health, body, living situation and would like to improve your pickup, dating and relationship skills to meet a great lady who will accept you with all of your flaws and faults.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has all kinds of problems. He spent five months in federal prison, is broke, just moved back in with his parents, doesn’t have a job and he would like to meet a really great lady to date and have a relationship with. He says he is going bald, is forty-nine years old, is out of shape, has a bipolar disorder and has been hospitalized for being suicidal.
He’s on social security disability and not working right now. He knows nothing is going to change immediately. He says he feels like he is a loser who doesn’t have enough to offer a good woman. He says he has always been wimpy around women. He feels like he is slipping back into depression and asks what he should be focusing on to change his situation. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
Thanks for your resources. I read your book, listened to the CD tracks on your website and watched your YouTube videos. My goal right now is to find a beautiful, sexy, fit, intelligent, funny, loving woman to be my girlfriend. I did read your stuff on how to approach women and develop a relationship.
I have some serious issues right not that are holding me back and make me feel unworthy of finding the kind of girl I want. (Meeting a great woman is a side effect of having a great life that you’re proud of. If you’re not happy right now, a woman’s not going to make you happy. It will make you feel more insecure.) I am 49 years old. I am going bald. I am not in super shape. I am divorced. I have bipolar disorder. I have been hospitalized for being suicidal. I am on SSDI, and I am not working right now. I also had a run-in with the law and was in federal prison for 5 months. Finally, I am back living with my parents. I am working on all these things, but nothing is going to change immediately. (The only thing you can do is try to better yourself in some way each day. The best antidepressant in the world is working out. Try lifting weights, doing cardio and eating right. Check out my videos, “How To Make The World’s Best Salad,” “How To Make Corey’s Green Juice,” and “Rediscovered: The Fountain Of Youth” so you can learn more about getting alkalizing nutrients into your body.) I just feel like a loser who doesn’t have enough to offer a good woman. (As I discuss in my book, you’ve got to become the kind of person you want to attract. Check out my video, “How To Get Any Job You Want,” and then click on the career tag at the bottom of the page. That will lead you to more articles that can help you find a job.)
I have always been shy and wimpy around women. I have been a friend only type, even before all this happened. Should I give up on finding a girlfriend right now until my circumstances improve, or should I go for it? (Look at my article and video “The Process Of Improving Your Social Skills,” and practice those skills at the mall. That’s going to build your confidence and it will help you become more sociable.) Please let me know what you think the best use of my time is, or if there are other resources I should be using. I feel like I am slipping back into depression, which never ends well. The coaching fee is a sacrifice for me right now, but I really need some help and encouragement. (Just like Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction breeds fear and doubt, but taking action breeds confidence and courage.” If you’re moving and taking action, over time you’ll see your life is getting better and you’ll feel better about yourself. Focus on joining a gym and getting a job first.)
Thanks for your help.
My response to him:
As I discuss in my book and in countless videos and articles, meeting women and getting a girlfriend is a side effect of having a great life. You have very little money, live at home and have no place where sex and intimacy can happen since you have no privacy. You should focus 100% of your effort on getting a job you enjoy so you can start earning some money. Use what I teach in these articles and videos to get a job: Click Here For Career Info.
Once you start working you should start saving some money so you can get a small bachelor apartment of your own. Live like a broke college student to keep your expenses low. You also need to get your ass into a gym and start taking care of your body by working out with weights, doing cardio exercise and eating healthy. You should check out and watch all of my videos and articles on optimum health. Most gyms have personal trainers and nutritionists to help you with your diet and exercise program. Here’s a link for my articles on health and eating a great healthy diet to get you looking and feeling your best: Click Here For Info On Optimum Health.
As you are taking care of yourself, you should be practicing your social skills and interacting with women in your free time. Through time and repetition you will become good at talking with women, asking them out and successfully making dates. It’s process that will take you many months and a few years to get to where you look good, feel good and have a life you really enjoy and are proud of while being about to meet and date women at will. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. This is the first step. Take action and find a way to enjoy the process of getting better and your own personal journey. Take your time. Don’t rush. Just try to get a little better and more productive each and every day. You must participate in your own rescue.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The most important thing a man needs to focus on in life, above everything else, is his mission and purpose. He also must take care of his body so he can look good, feel good, be mentally sharp and make himself desirable to women. All human beings need to feel like they are making a difference in the world in a positive way. If you are in a dark place, and life feels hopeless, the worst thing you can do is nothing. Imperfect action is better than no action at all. By taking action towards an emotionally compelling vision and a set of goals for your life, this will build your confidence and make you feel productive. No matter how big or small, or how fast or slow your progress may be, making progress is essential to feeling good, staying motivated, enjoying your life and getting to where you want to be. Just focus on the simple goal of trying to get a little better each day. To do a little more today than yesterday makes success and achieving your goals inevitable and simply a matter of time.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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