Why a man must follow his heart, curiosity, intuition and his true passion and purpose in life in order to make himself happy, achieve his dreams and to attract and keep the kind of women he really wants.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has big dreams to get into the CGI-Motion Capture field of the movie industry in Los Angeles. He originally found my work after his divorce. He says the divorce was really great for him, even though it was difficult. He used to live in Japan and started dating a co-worker who he feels is the woman he wants to marry. They lived together for about ten months before he decided to move back to the states, and they never argued.
Her parents offered to give him a Jaguar and help them both so he could stay in Japan, but he told them that he needed to follow his heart. They are doing the long-distance thing, and she is ready to move to the states and marry him, but he still needs time and more money to prepare and handle the immigration red tape. He is working as a bartender to earn a living and has a small part as a stuntman in a movie lined up. He asks my opinion on what he should do.
I am in a bit of panic mode and need some help. (Bill Murray once said, “You make your best decisions when you are in a relaxed state.” You want to respond to things, instead of reacting emotionally, because of the inefficient decisions and actions you may make in that state.) About two years ago, I was living abroad and married. Needless to say, I was part of the 97% of men at that time and had some issues. During the divorce, I grabbed your book and plugged away on your YouTube videos. Sadly, I only got through the book 3 times, and now I regret not going through it the other 7 times. (A relationship goes through mature stages, and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re going to fuck it up.) I should mention that the divorce was a great thing and made me into a better person, but I still need some advice.
Fast forward to about a year and a half ago, I meet a coworker out for drinks, and Corey, I have to say that this woman is an angel to me. (This is the way it’s supposed to be. You should have somebody who knocks your socks off. You’re only going to make your best effort when you genuinely enjoy being with them.) We started off as friends, but after taking your advice and moving slowly, she was begging to be with me all the time. We actually moved in together and spent about 10 months in the same place. We NEVER HAD A SINGLE FIGHT, (men who understand women never argue with them), nor a major argument, even though I was having some tough times with my visa. I felt we could do anything together. I always kept plugging away at my dreams of moving to LA and working in CGI-Motion caption by training my mind and body. She and her family completely supported me, and even offered me a Jaguar to stay in Japan, but I turned it down and said, I have to follow my heart. (That is pretty awesome. You have a great girl with a supportive family.) I told them that Japan doesn’t have a career for me there at the moment, and I need to make something on my own to support her and possibly a family.
Right now, we are in an long distance relationship, and I really want to marry her. We have talked about it before, and with her family, and she really wants to come, but there have been some setbacks and blows that I wasn’t prepared for, such as the length of immigration and making a new home here. I am lucky that I have found work as a bartender, fast cash and good pay, however I want to leave when I find something more stable, (you’re doing it in a smart way), and I have connected myself into the stunt community and will be helping on a small production later this month. I am seeing myself become stressed though from culture shock and lack of money due to the international move and preparing everything. (Work a second job. Find a way.)
Note: because I didn’t have a car, I couldn’t do much for the last 2 months. This week I am getting a motorcycle and will have full freedom to go to more interviews and network myself. (That’s awesome. Do whatever it takes.)
She is ready to move here and get married, and fuck man, I am wanting the same thing, but I still need more time to prepare. Do you have any advice to help out? (You have to hang out, have fun and hook up. You have to see each other. She needs to come see you. Don’t put things off. If you’re not spending time together physically in person, your relationship is going to suffer.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Women love, and are most attracted to, men who have a purpose and a mission they are relentlessly pursuing with a fearless passion. Men who are lit up on the inside with an emotionally compelling vision they seek to create, even if where they ultimately want to be in the future is many years or even decades away from realization. This is the embodiment of what masculine energy is and an essential component to creating sexual polarity and attraction. Even if a man’s dreams will take him away from the woman he loves for a period of time, he must follow his heart and leave, but still court, date and make her feel like the most special woman in the world to maintain the relationship and her attraction to him. If a man gives up his dreams to make a woman happy, in the long run he will make himself miserable, never reach his full potential and she will eventually lose her attraction and respect for him and leave anyway.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne